


Raven

by lucytwilight



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Bottom Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy Needs a Hug, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Mature Harry Potter, Smut, Top Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:41:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 58
Words: 167,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29328693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucytwilight/pseuds/lucytwilight
Summary: Sinful and forbidden pleasures are like poisoned bread; they may satisfy appetite for the moment, but there is death in them at the end.A Half-blood and Pure-blood
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Original Female Character(s), Pansy Parkinson/Reader
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

A/N ↯

Hello! I have decided to create another Draco Malfoy fanfic, seeing as I'm currently brainstorming ideas for 'Riddle me'— Which is not being discontinued and is ongoing.

I'll be updating both stories, however this fanfic is A LOT different to Riddle me. 

There will be :  
↝ physical & mental abuse  
↝ drug use/ mention  
↝ MATURE SCENES!  
↝ self harm, mental illnesses  
↝ triggering topics (rape, etc)

I like to raise awareness on these sort of subjects, as I have had a great deal of experience with most of them. I want to show how Raven grows, along with the other characters! 

Plus, I've also read multiple fanfics where these topics aren't brought up in a disclaimer— so this is your warning now, but I will add a brief disclaimer before you begin reading the chapter! ♥


	2. Chapter 2

"Mum, I'd like to attend Hogwarts." I said, stood beside Vesper, my sister, knowing her presence would no doubt convince my Mother.

I watched as she flickered her eyes to Vesper, narrowing them at her before huffing. "Fine."

So, here we were, on platform nine and three quarters. Vesper by my side as she held my hand with encouragement and reassurance. The sight of parents hugging their children goodbye and waving to them with tears brimming their waterline; it broke me. My parents weren't here, I didn't even get a goodbye kiss or hug from them as I walked out the doors of the home I resided in for sixteen years.

fuck. I was absolutely shitting myself. 

I had never been to school before, my education came from a tutor that taught me within the vicinity of my homes walls— just reading, writing, listening... reading... the cycle repeated itself for five years until I decided enough was enough. I deserved an actual education, an education where I meet friends and have a real time limit to finish essays— not when I feel like completing them. Home schooling was dull, I spent majority of my time just reading novels and other time reading information textbooks— 

B O R I N G. 

Why didn't I attend Hogwarts in first year? Apparently I am a disgrace to the Winters bloodline, being seen in public was an embarrassment to the Wizarding World and my parents— why? Because I am a fucking half-blood? You'd think Mother would feel some sort of sympathy and compassion towards me, seeing as I was birthed by her. But no, I am the mistake and I am to blame. To explain this, Long story short of course, Mother had an affair with a half-blood at her work— she used to work at the Ministry, however quit after work associates found out what happened. Mother was a pureblood, Father was pureblood and so was Vesper.. but not me.

It's hilarious, honestly. Mother hated me for a mistake she made, Father refused to even look at me and forgave Mother but not me. However, I had Vesper. She could occasionally be extremely cruel, but it was only in front of rich purist families— to protect herself obviously, which I understood. It mostly hurt that my parents criticised me behind closed doors, when those rich families wouldn't see or weren't around— I was like a doormat to them. Which is another reason why I want to attend Hogwarts, to get away from them. 

As we step onto the train, I felt nerves run through my veins. This was real, I'm finally attending an actual school... I'll probably meet real friends too. 

"So, if you wanna sit with me— Can you like stay quiet or just not saying anything stupid." Vesper awkwardly smiles at me, hiding a somewhat repulsed expression. 

"Yeah." I mutter.

Vesper clutches my hand, leading me towards the entrance door to the train carriage. Chattering students engulfs my hearing, their curious eyes scanning over me intensely as Vesper swiftly guides me down the aisle. The interest and inquisition in their eyes was strange, it was almost as though they were... scared of me? In the same manner how they glanced at Vesper, presumably thinking I'm exactly like her— which I was not.

Vesper's a seventh year Slytherin, she can be quite intimidating at times... all the time actually. She has this glare which is truly terrifying, as though she was going to slaughter you; flames of raging reds and vibrant orange radiated in her glower, and you do not want to be subjected to it. Vesper didn't take no for an answer, she'd do anything in her power to get what she wanted— I guess I did too, just had to go around a different way to get it. Vesper could stare down Father, then get what she wanted; I had to prove myself worthy, earn their respect and attempt to validate myself in such a purist home.

We stop in front of a compartment, the door was closed along with the shutters; so I unfortunately couldn't see inside. The sound of a few people laughing and talking emits from the compartment, Vesper huffs in annoyance. "Don't take them seriously, okay? Or me for that matter." 

I nod, understanding what she meant. Vesper wasn't just cruel in front of other families, it was practically everyone— when she brought her friends over during Christmas or Easter breaks, she treated me horribly; but apologise when no one was around. Sometimes I wish it wouldn't hurt, but it usually did. I tried to convince myself that she had to, though it'd be nice to feel normal for once— And I feel like Vesper would be the only one to actually make me feel like everyone else.

Vesper opens the door to the compartment, smokes begins wafting from the small space and into the air of the carriage aisle. She grumbles under her breath, then drags me into the booth and slams the door closed behind us. "Are you all fucking brainless?" Vesper scoffs, sitting herself beside a boy with dark skin and a cigarette lazily situated between his fingers. "Raven, sit." She pats the space beside her, I immediately seat myself where she patted. 

"Got yourself a little dog now, Ves?" The boy beside Vesper snickers, slanting forward to examine his eyes over me.

"My sister." Vesper retorts, rolling her eyes at him as he clearly checked me out.

"She doesn't look like you." A girl opposite on the other seat says, her stare now on me too. 

"Jesus— Half sister." Vesper snarls, evidently bothered by their curiousness. "You know her, Draco." 

My eyes widen at his name, I peer up from the floor to see him slouched in the space beside the blonde haired girl. He shoots me a murderous glare, causing me to instantly scurry my eyes to anywhere but him. "That was friendly." Vesper scoffs.

"Bringing a half-blood here was a stupid decision, Ves." Draco growls at her, inducing Vesper to exhale to stop herself from lashing out.

"I'm Angeline," The blonde girl adjacent to me extends her arm out, I hesitate before leaning over and shaking her hand lightly. "I'm meant to be in seventh year, but I got held back." She sighs.

"Because your brains filled with blowjob techniques, not actual school knowledge." The boy beside Vesper chortles, Draco lowly snickers in response to his extremely funny joke. "I'm Blaise." He introduces, sending me a wink.

Draco scoffs, "I don't want her here."

"Why?" Blaise questions him, passing the cigarette to Angeline's hand that desperately flapped in the air as she tried to indicate she wanted it. 

"Have you all gone fucking stupid over the break?" He retaliates, aggression and bitter tones present in his voice. "God— where's Astoria when you fucking need her."

I felt awkward to say the least. I didn't really think I was wanted here... especially by Draco, since he was being an utter asshole to me. Draco and I have history from when we were younger, we'd hang out at our families events— well mostly he'd just sit with me, considering I didn't really talk much as a kid. But then, a few weeks before he started his first year at Hogwarts, his Fathers corrupt beliefs of purism engraved into his mind— and he hasn't been kind to me since.

"Drakie... you broke up with her, remember?" Angeline trails her voice on with cheek, obviously attempting to irritate him. "If you manage to fuck that girl after what you did to her, I will eat a hat."

"Pfft— hope you can chew it then." Blaise chuckles, in which Vesper quietly laughs under her breath. 

"Who's Astoria?" I faintly ask, feeling that my silence was misplaced and conflicting within this loud group. 

Vesper leans over, snagging the half burnt cigarette from Angeline's hold. Angeline scoffs, slouching into the seat. 

"Who said you could speak, half-blood?" Draco hisses, I dart my eyes up to him with my blood boiling. I felt my top lip twitch as I glared at him, his expression not softening in the slightest. 

"Dear god, Draco." Angeline huffs, "Astoria's at the end compartment, if you need your backup woman she's probably with her." She informs, in which Draco immediately stands up. Before he leaves the compartment, he glared at me as though he was trying to kill me, then storms out.

"I don't you, don't mind what anyone says or you literally won't survive." Vesper sighs with a slight growl in her voice. 

"Naw, Ves, Go easy on her." Blaise pouts at her, "You wanna know who Astoria is?" He raises an eyebrow up at me, I nod in affirmation. Vesper stands up before moving herself beside Angeline, sharing the cigarette between themselves. Angeline's bright viridian eyes were fixated on Blaise, as though his next words were comparative to a story. 

"I'll make this brief, seeing as he'll punch me or some shit— but last year he dated this girl named Astoria, she was fucking crazy for him and probably still is. But long story short, Draco sucks ass at relationships and broke up with her. Wasn't pretty." He admits.

"Oh." I say in reply, not sure of what to actually say. 

"Oh, indeed." Angeline nods her head in agreement.


	3. Chapter 3

Anxiety. Anxiety was the only feeling flowing through my veins as I force myself to shuffle my feet up to the chair— not any chair, a chair situated at the front of the Great Hall, where everyone's eyes were on me. Some fearful, others curious, some boys even elbowing their friends and I think I heard one or two boys whistle at them; that didn't make the situation any better. 

I reach the wooden stool, nervously turning around and steadily plonking myself onto it. Professor McGonagall stood beside me with a friendly smile on her face and holding a dusty old hat in her hands, in which the crinkles of the fabric looked like a face. Suddenly, another whistle echoes through the Hall. "Shut it!" I hear my sisters voice bellow at whoever whistled at me, causing the Hall to scatter with subtle laughs and snickers. 

Professor McGonagall places the hat upon my head, my nerves growing with intensity and power. I could hear my heart pounding against my chest, as though it was soon to burst right through my ribs and skin. "Ah," The dusty hat begins talking, "Another Winters..."

"—Oh, this is quite difficult. You're intelligent... extremely intelligent, and a love to learn new things.." It wanders on with its words, each second that passed where I was anxiously visible to all these students was terrifying me. "Very ambitious.. a thirst to prove yourself, significantly similar to your sister..."

Hurry up. Hurry up.

"Of course, of course, with the wisdom of a Ravenclaw... but the cunningness of a Slytherin..." It continues, "Let it be SLYTHERIN!"

The table erupts in an uproar of cheers and an applause, I hop off the stool and Professor McGonagall quickly ushers me towards the Slytherin table. I scan my eyes across the heads of proud students, spotting Angeline waving me over. I smile, strolling up to her and taking a seat beside her. 

"I knew it." Angeline beams, reaching her arm over the table and holding her palm out in front of Blaise. "Where's my galleon, mister?" She hisses, Blaise groans in aggravation before ferreting his hand into the pocket of his black slacks. He retrieves a galleon, placing it onto the palm of Angeline's hand and sending her a bothered look. 

"You bet on me?" I question, raising an eyebrow at Angeline as she peers back at me. 

She scoffs while smiling, "Of course. Blaise thought you'd be a bloody Hufflepuff." 

I giggle, finding it sort of funny that they bet on what house I'd be placed in. "Honestly, Blaise, you must be delusional— a family line of Slytherin's? You were bound to lose that bet."

He holds his hands up in defence, "I'm terribly sorry, Madam!"

"Anyway..." Angeline rolls her eyes, spinning on the bench to face me. "Ravenclaw characteristics, huh?"

I hear a boy snicker, glancing away from Angeline to the boy beside Blaise— I don't know I hadn't noticed him before, seeing that he's fucking beautiful. Ruffled brown hair that whirled into tiny curls at the ends, only sparse though— but it was noticeable. Brown, dreamy eyes that had a spark of mischief behind them. However, what caught my eye the most was the multiple purple hues that scattered his neck, and his arm hooked around Vesper's waist. 

"You get dumber and dumber every day, Ange." The boy laughs, his index finger gliding in small circles over Vesper's waist. Why did she never tell me about him? She told me everything..

Angeline gasps, "We know! But the fuck makes you say that, lover boy?" 

Lover boy?

"Wow. you gotta stop smoking weed, poppet." He snickers, creating a trail reaction of suppressed laughs from the few boys that seated around us; that being Blaise, Draco, these two rather large boys and another one I hadn't met. "Ves literally always goes on about Winters Junior, how she did her summer homework?" 

"I only did her homework because the home schooling tasks I received were for toddlers." I blurt, immediately regretting it as they all, ALL, turn to me. Honestly, I just wanted to get a message across that I wasn't a suck up— and that I wouldn't do their homework, because god knows what these students are like. 

"Yes, because you're like... smart? That's what the sorting hat said, we all know that fucker doesn't lie." He shrugs, his fingers now clutching Vesper's waist with pressure. "I'm Theo, I should've introduced myself first— you looked like a lost puppy as I talked." Theo laughs, his eyes merely narrowing as he skimmed them over me. 

"Why are you looking at her like that?" Vesper snaps, shifting in her seat and glaring up at him.

Theo peers down at her, pouting playfully at her annoyance appearance. "Ves, are you sure she's even remotely related to you?" 

I furrow my brows, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I see you both share a snappy attitude," Theo nervously chuckles, clearly trying to enlighten the mood. "You don't look anything like each other."

"Clearly her real, filthy half-blood Father has strong genes." Vesper aggressively snarls, then her eyes widen as she realises what she said. "Theo, come." 

Vesper stands up, quickly strolling away with Theo jogging to catch up with her.

"About time she came to her senses." Draco snickers, the mystery body beside him laughing along with the arrogant blonde.

I roll my eyes, not bothering with him again. He clearly has a stick up his ass, with no decisions of yanking it out. 

❀

Sitting in common room, concentrating on this Potions textbook called 'Advanced Potion making', thinking that a quick skim will boost my memory for class tomorrow. I was committed to all this school stuff, there was nothing more in the world that I wanted other than to hold my parents respect. It was something I begged for, threw all my time and effort into— just for a slight reaction that they cared or appreciated me, but they hadn't yet... I'll keep trying though, I'm sure they'll come around. 

Angeline was sitting beside me, pinching this green herb into the fold of a paper and rolling it into a joint, 'pre-rolling' as she called it. Vesper sat on the sofa adjacent to me, seated between Theo and the boy I had yet to know the name off. Another girl sat beside Angeline, seemingly help her roll joints. Slytherin's weren't as bad as I thought, the seventh years that Vesper brought home for breaks were pure evil— I never got a moment of silence with their presence. Maybe it was just seventh years? 

"So, miss dorky porky—" Angeline says, I spy her looking at me through my peripheral vision. 

"What?" I turn to her, confused by her little nickname. Closing the Potions book as I direct my focus on her. 

"I apologise, I literally don't have a filter." She laughs, placing the small metal tin on the girls lap. "Want to be introduced to this wonderful group of students." 

I shrug, "Go on."

"You just fell into a bottomless pit." Vesper giggles. 

Angeline glares at Vesper for a brief second before reverting her emerald eyes on me again "So, as you know— That's Theo.. I assume he wants to be a comedian when he's older, considering how hilarious he is."

"This beautiful woman beside me is Ivy, she's the only one who lets me copy their homework..." Angeline eyes everyone in irritation, obviously from their lack of allowing her to jot down their schoolwork. 

Ivy laughs, "Only because I enjoy your company you twit, wouldn't want you getting expelled for lack of braincells." 

I hide back a smile from her comeback, Angeline mutters under her breath in a mocking tone. "That's Oskar." She points at the boy opposite me, in which he winks as our eyes lock on one another's. "Blaise and Draco are probably smoking.. then there's Astoria's group but they barely hang around us." She shrugs, leaning back into the sofa's leather cushions. 

"Why?" I ask curiously.

"They are too posh for us." Angeline speaks in a proper tone, rolling her eyes as the thought of Astoria and her group pops in her mind. "Not too posh to be banged by Draco every fucking night though." 

"Shut it, Fletcher." Everyone's eyes dart to Draco, who was strolling from the boys dormitory corridor with Blaise trailing behind him. Both their eyes a crimson hue, a slight stagger in their walks.

"First day and already blasted off into space?" Ivy chuckles at their stoned appearances, earning a rapid glare from Draco. 

❀

It was the next morning, Defence against the Dark Arts was soon to start— and I was told to keep my head down in that class, which was odd. Angeline and Ivy offered to share their dorm with me, that was really sweet of them. 

Ivy struck me as someone who was friendly, but it surprised me when I quickly realised she wasn't entirely that friendly. The girl had quite a mouth on her, she was definitely not afraid to let it run wild either. It was actually rather entertaining, seeing how she scolded absolutely anyone and never backed down after being subjected to a sarcastic joke. She was quite iffy about me, though, which I found weird; I've only been here for a day and the girl sends me strange glares. 

On the other hand, Angeline seemed to like me. She said I could bother her clothes whenever I wanted, it's a shame they were nothing I'd feel comfortable wearing though— she was into short, tight skirts, dresses that clung to your body and shirts with low-cuts. I salute her for having such confidence, but I can't see myself wearing her clothes any time soon. 

I quickly found out that Ivy was actually quite smart, her elective subjects being the same ones I picked— Arithmancy. Professor Snape, the head of Slytherin house, thought it would in my smartest interest to begin with one elective subject, and add a second if my term one subject results were good enough. Which was absolutely insane, I took O.W.Ls tests before I attended Hogwarts so Professors could see my intelligence— and I got O's in every subject. So god knows why I can't do a second elective, but at least study isn't too bad.

"Ugh. I want Professor Lupin back, he didn't wake me from naps." Angeline sighs, propping her elbow on the desk and resting her chin in her palm. She clearly wasn't a morning person, her eyes were occasionally shutting and vague purple bags lay under her tired eyes. Thankfully, the desks were three students to one, so neither of us would be stuck with a random for the rest of the year. 

"Are Vesper and Theo like.. dating?" I abruptly ask, the need to know the answer was killing me. Angeline furrows her brows, glancing at me with thought, whereas Ivy leans back on her chair; staring at me from across Angeline's back.

"Uh..... who knows?" Ivy says, the confusion in her voice coincided with her baffled expression. "I assume so, they just aren't.. offical." 

Angeline nods in agreement, "Yeah, neither of them screw anyone else or whatever. Girls tend to stay away from Theo, and boys don't even bother flirting with Ves." 

I laugh, "I wonder why."

"God, you have no idea. I was petrified of Ves when I met her." Angeline admits, placing her forearms on the desk and resting the side of her head atop them, with her face in the direction of me. "Now, I'm scared of Draco."

Draco? she's scared of Draco?

"Why?" I ponder, knitting my eyebrows in inquisition. 

Ivy scoffs, "You don't want to know." 

"Yes I do, I've known him since I was practically a child—" I begin to spurt as I try gain them to tell me Draco's scary doings, but stop myself when I realise what I said.

"What?" They say in sync.


	4. Chapter 4

We all sat on Angeline's bed in our dorm, all pondering on each other's words that were said in Defence against the Dark Arts— possibly mistaken words. I refused to tell them all day, incase it shocked them to the point they'd ridicule Draco about it. Can you blame me though? I've just met them, I don't want to be rambling secrets that'll get me in trouble; only for them to rant about it themselves. Ivy held a freshly lit cigarette between her fingers, while Angeline lifts a flame to the end of her unlit cigarette. Angeline chucks the lighter on the bedding in front of her, exhaling the faint smoke from her lungs.

"I'd like to know first." I confess, fiddling with my white ankle length school socks. Sitting cross legged at the end of Angeline's bed, with them both seated in front of me— it almost felt like an interrogation.

"Honestly, I don't think that's a good idea. What if we tell you, and you decide to not tell us." Ivy shrugs, bringing the orange section of the cigarette between her lips.

"Is he that bad?" I raise my eyebrows, sort of in shock. 

They both nod vigorously.

"Ah— okay then," I sigh, "Draco used to keep me company at our families events, considering both our families are wealthy."

flashback

"You're alone again." Draco said, sitting himself beside me on the cold stairs of a random family's patio. 

I nodded, my eyes not once left the words that filled the books pages. 

"Why are you so quiet, Raven?" He asked me, I sighed as I carefully folded the edge of the page I was up to. I closed the book, running my index finger along the spine of the book.

"It's better that way." I admitted, my eyes shifted up towards the caliginous night sky. "Tell me, Draco, do you like stars?" 

"Sure?" Draco shrugged, evidently confused by my question.

.. 

"Are books that interesting?" Draco asked, sitting next to me as I leaned my back against a random tree, at a random families estate.

I nodded.

"Still not talking?" He said, somewhat disappointed. 

"Like I said, it's better that way." I reminded him.

..

I searched for Draco, but I couldn't find him. I didn't dare enter his house, his Father would criticise me... I can't handle that, I'm only ten.

"Looking for me?" A familiar voice said, it caused me to jump and whip around to face him.

I smiled from his presence

..

"You can see the constellation of Aquarius." Draco said, his eyes on the night sky. 

I peered up from my book, glanced up and immediately caught the sight of the constellation.

"I read about stars, I wanted to know why you liked them so much." He informed, making me smile. "You've gone really quiet again."

I shrugged, my mind wondering off to when Father yelled at me; saying no pureblood family would respect me. 

end

"For years, we just sat together at family events. Sometimes silence, sometimes I talked.. but I was always filled with fear." I admit, sighing deeply after confessing to Angeline and Ivy about my past friendship with Draco. "One day, he never came to find me again." 

It hurt me how I was left without an explanation, he just avoided me, ignored me and actually made himself present at events. He always told me how he hated them, he'd briefly confess things to me even if I was silent— and I liked that about him. He never slandered me about it, only asked me questions on why I was quiet, which I never truthfully answered.

Father repeatedly told me that if saw me associating myself with pureblood's, he'd ditch me at an orphanage and obliviate me. I didn't want that, so I was wary around Draco.. others as well. I couldn't understand how my blood purity defined who I am, I'm still the same on the inside and out; just different blood. I'd usually see him at family business gatherings, or formal parties and he'd never acknowledge me— not even a quick glance or a smile, completely and utter nothing. Eventually, I dealt with it, he's always been stubborn— even as a little kid. 

Ivy awkwardly laughs "That's.. um— wow." 

"I second that, Ivy." Angeline snickers lightly, "Just a warning though, he isn't like that any more."

"Clearly." I scoff, becoming slightly hurt how he's not the curious, sweet boy I used to know. "Tell me, everything." I ask softly, dreading their next words, but I wanted to know.

"Uhm— well I think it all went to shit in third year," Ivy begins, taking a quick glimpse at Angeline before sighing. Ivy holds her hand out, offering me a draw of her cigarette. I purse my lips, taking it from her and placing it between my index and middle finger. 

As I take a draw of the cigarette, Ivy continues speaking. "He— um, came back to school after Christmas break with these circle like burns on his forearms..."

"I thought I'd ask him about it, seeing as I saw them and was worried." Angeline butts in, bothered by Ivy's tortuously slow story telling. "He spat the most horrible insults at me, they still hurt after three years." She takes a long inhale of the smoke, holding it in her lungs before steadily expelling the smoke. 

"Then he befriended Oskar, a rich white boy that started in fourth year." Ivy grumbles his name, snagging the cigarette from Angeline— I hold mine out to her, but she mutters keep it.

Angeline chews at her bottom lip, "I'd stay away from them, even if you have history with Draco. I can't tell you what to do though."

"There's more. I can tell your keeping it from me." I glance at them, flicking my eyes between them as the appearance of guilt clouds their features. 

"It's painful to talk about, every single fucking I think or talk about Draco, Blaise or Oskar it makes me want to fucking yank their dicks off." Ivy huffs in utter aggravation, her words striking me in the heart as she speaks of Draco in a way I never thought I'd here. "Promise me, Ray. Promise me you'll only ever be a confrere with them."

"Confrere? Like just someone I see everyday?" I knit my eyebrows together, growing worried by Ivy's frantic demeanour.

Her knee was bouncing up and down rapidly, she'd momentarily bite at her bottom lip with pressure before situating the cigarette between her lips to stop herself. Her olive tan hands were quivering, with her black shoulder length hair sticking to her face from the brewing sweat. The feline, caliginous brown eyes of hers were riveting on mine, a worrying glint of plea in them. 

Angeline was acting as if this were normal, or occurred frequently. Her soft, pale hand positioned on Ivy's knee with her thumb stroking up and down in a hope to relieve her. The orange filter of the cigarette was indented from how mightily she held it in her fingers. Her eyebrows now furrowed as well, chewing on the inside of her cheek.

"Ivy— Are you alright?" I anxiously ask.

"Ray! Promise me!" She unexpectedly pleas, her tone filled with distress. 

"I promise!" I reply frantically, Ivy passes the cigarette to Angeline before staggering off the bed. She mumbles an 'I'm going to see Luna' then nervously sprints to the dorm room door, closing it behind her as if a monster was in the room. "Wha— what just happened?" Turning to Angeline from the door, in a state of absolute shock.

Angeline sighs, "You didn't think I was the only one they subjected their asshole-ness to?" 

I shake my head side to side, "Of course not, that seemed like they did more than insult her." 

She snickers, staring at me as if I were born yesterday— which it appeared I was, seeing as the reaction Ivy just had was from words. "Angel, please tell me. It will probably hurt me, but I need to know."

Her pale cheeks abruptly glow a pink tint, the sides of her lips perking up into a sweet smile. "Angel is a new nickname, I like it." Angeline coos, making me giggle from her shyness.

"Ray's a new nickname as well," I lightly laugh, "I'm used to half-blood, filth, inbreed.. oh and my favourite one— moralist virgin." Angeline chuckles softly with me, but it quickly vanishes in a rapid moment. 

Angel bites the side of her lip, pressing down on it as she twiddled with the nearly finished cigarette. "You're a virgin?" 

I nod embarrassingly, confused by her exactly random and strange question. "Merlin— for your safety, you're not a virgin." 

"What? Why?" I query with bafflement brimming inside me, growing impatient from her slow response. 

"Firstly, continue calling me Angel, it's cute. Secondly, I'm gonna call you Ray. Thirdly, Draco and his demons." Angeline finally speaks, hatred and bitterness behind her tone when she spoke Draco's name. 

I knit my eyebrows, "Firstly, of course, Angel. Secondly, I like Ray. Thirdly, explain before I quite literally explode."

"They have this thing... like a competition... there's no trophy at the end of it, just STDs and a boost in their egos." She begins, slipping a fresh cigarette from the packet and immediately lighting it before she started speaking again. "They melt for new girls, especially virgins. Girls are like objects to them, mostly Oskar and Blaise."

I froze, only able to bring the cigarette to and from my lips as I listened to what she said. "They might try fuck you, so be careful." 

"Uh— the fuck?" I scoff, totally taken back from the information she just told me. 

"I know, it's not nice." Angel huffs, the smoke leaves her mouth and nostrils as she spoke. "I'm warning you, though. I can tell your a smart girl and I actually like being around you, but if you don't listen to us it's on you."

Nodding in understanding, sickened that this is what Draco turned to be like. I knew that their warning was enough to caution me, if I go against it— it's all on me no matter what. 

"Why are they like that?" I ask, disgusted by how they clearly think it's okay and exciting. 

"Blaise is because he's just horny, and likes to win things. Oskar, he's rich and mummy buys him out of punishments; so he gets away with everything." She scoffs, rolling her eyes as she speaks about them. "Draco, though. Fucking hell, I'd hate to know what he endured to get this bad." 

"Like I said, up to third year he was tolerable. Half way through, it's like he grew the devil inside him." Angel purses her lips as she explains what Draco's like, "Fucks girls left and right, hurts them, breaks their hearts... doesn't think twice before spitting insults at you. If he finds your weaknesses, you are absolutely fucked." 

"Why?" I stare at her wide eyed, hating what I'm currently hearing.

"Ray, he will make you cry then laugh about it." Her fingers were now too indenting the cigarette filter, the words she spoke evidently brewing a deep loathing upon her. "Trust me, he does not give a shit." 

"Wow." I murmur, overwhelmed with shock and hurt.

Sleeping came easy to me tonight, considering I was repeatedly running over everything Angeline and Ivy told me. How Ivy rushed out the dorm, how I saw pure fear and pain shrouded in her eyes. I would hate to imagine what Draco said to her, Angeline included. Ivy seemed so strong, she came across as defensive and indestructible; as though you could never get under her skin, but Draco and his friends evidently have. 

Angeline didn't seem wholly that upset by the topic of them, which made me believe Ivy's either had the worst of it or Angel can bear their evil doings. You know, Ivy put up a strong upfront but inside she's soft and emotional; whereas Angel is soft on the outside and tough on the inside— they appeared like polar opposites in a way. 

I couldn't stop reminiscing on the kind things Draco used to say to me. How he would ask how I was doing after finding me under a tree, on patio stairs or sitting on a bench reading. How the words escaped his mouth when knowing I'd probably not respond, he didn't care. He never told me about his parents, I never told him about mine— it wasn't relevant nor could I work up the strength to anyway. Sentences that included my feelings, deep thoughts, my past or experiences always got lodged in my throat; ever since I was little it had been like that. Probably from the time I opened up to my Mother, which ended horribly.


	5. Chapter 5

Throughout the week, I saw that boy Oskar relentlessly staring at me with inquisition and, at times, he would wink. At first, I genuinely thought he was winking towards someone behind me, but when I looked there was no one there. I didn't entirely begin attending normal school to be stared at like a piece of meat, nor enthral my attention to horny teenage boys. 

Oskar seemed different to Blaise and Theo, and the other teenage boys of Slytherin— I found him reading a book in the library on Thursday morning, not any kind of book, a fucking romance novel. A novel in which was certainly in my top ten favourite romance books, He never gave the impression that he read books, I don't mean it in a rude way. But, He was the type of student to slouch on his chair or take naps during class; in addition to that, I swear homework was never completed by him, at least what I gathered in my one week. Friday night he begged Draco to lend him his homework, which Draco told him to fuck off and grow a brain. That insult was the first one I heard Angeline laugh at, seeing as she usually scoffed or remained quiet; I honestly thought, in that moment, Angel actually found Draco's words funny. 

However, her laugh was cut short with Draco spitting an insult at her, and of course it wasn't friendly. 

'Think that's funny, Fletcher? Here's an even funnier one, you're inability to make a guy cum.' 

That felt... personal. But Draco didn't care, I watched him snicker with Blaise as Angel gasped and run off. No one told him off, they actually allowed him to get away with it. It was the first vile words I heard him speak to Angeline, and everything she said was true. He didn't hold back, whatever came to mind he spoke without a thought. 

"You look deep in thought, Winters." A voice radiates from beside me, where the person takes a seat on the chair next to me. 

It was a Sunday, I felt like reading so I came to the library— there was no way in hell I wanted to read in the common room, I couldn't tolerate Draco at all. Every single word he spat at people enraged me, if I wasn't pathetic and shy then I would of honestly punched him by now— but alas, I am pathetic and shy. 

I smile in response, glancing at Oskar for a brief second before shifting my eyes back to the black letters that were printed on the books pages. Out of my peripheral, I notice him knit his eyebrows and study the side of my face. His eyes felt nothing like Draco's, they had no power of anger or infuriation behind them, just curiosity and interest.

"Damn, Ves was right." He chuckles lowly, I furrow my brows as I look up from my book again; sending him a confused expression. "You're quiet."

"I like to be." I smile kindly

"If i'm honest, you don't strike one as a Slytherin." Oskar shrugs, his index finger coasting along the edge of the desk. 

I snicker, "Just because I prefer to keep to myself does not mean I'm not a Slytherin."

"Besides," I laugh softly, "I don't entirely think being a Slytherin revolves around how much of an asshole you are."

Oskar scoffs before laughing with me, "You calling me an asshole?"

I roll my eyes, "Of course." Reverting my attention back to the book, confusion filling me as I ponder on why Oskar was here.

Angeline warned me about him, Ivy did too, but here I was; talking to him as if he had never done anything wrong, completely overlooking what Angeline told me. I wanted to stop, I believed what the two girls said— they've been here longer than me, they evidently know more than me. 

I ponder on what troubles Oskar got into that called for his Mother to pay him out of; Fights? Drugs? Getting caught in the classroom with a girl? Bullying? Honestly, I hate how i'm so curious. I dislike being clueless to things, it brought a sort of worry upon me— maybe it's from the horrendous years of my Father telling me I'm sickening and he'll throw me out if I continue what I was doing; but never found out what I did, he didn't tell me. It was although I did nothing, and he just wanted someone to lash his anger out on. 

Constant fear that Father would rampage into my room, screaming profanities as his rage took over; and he'd eventually kick me out. It never happened though, but I was waiting for the day to occur. 

"So, how's Hogwarts?" Oskar asks, my attention yet again being tore from the books pages.

"For someone who reads, you sure don't know the primary rules." I laugh, understanding that he probably wasn't leaving so I folded the corner of the page and shut my book.

His eyes widen, "There's rules for books?"

I giggle lightly, "Mostly rules for readers." Oskar had the face of utter bafflement, which was rather amusing considering he reads novels. "It's like rule one, if you see someone reading intently don't interrupt them."

"That sounds more like common sense rather than rules, Winters." Oskar laughs, causing me to roll my eyes.

I sigh, "However you want to look at it, Argento." 

His eyes fixate on mine for a brief second before the captivated gaze of his is accompanied by a smirk. "You're talking."

"I do talk, just not often." I scoff, his words sounding like Draco's; younger Draco, the nice Draco.

"Tell me about yourself, Winters." Oskar says with fascination, "You're quite interesting."

I smile, then quickly realise what Angeline told me and shift my lips to a line. "Don't find me interesting, I'm not."

Oskar shrugs, "I think you are though."

Standing up, Angeline's words overwhelming me as I think and think about every idiom she spoke with fear. I grab my book from the table and hold it against my chest with one arm. Suddenly, a hand grasps my wrist, causing me to come to a halt.

"Uh— I didn't mean to startle you?" Oskar furrows his brows, his words sounding almost like a question.

I gulp, "You didn't." 

"Can I ask you something?" He asks, removing his hand from my wrist and dropping it to his side. "Would you ever consider tutoring anyone..?"

For some reason, I laugh. "By anyone you mean you?" I raise an eyebrow at him, mentally kicking myself from laughing at him. Did I really just laugh at him for asking for help? 

His face falls, making my eyes widen and heart quicken from the realisation of my words. "Fuck— Argento, I didn't mean to laugh."

Oskar shrugs, "It's fine." His face was still fallen, the side of his lips perked in a saddened smile. 

"I'll help you, but I had honestly assumed you were smart." I admit, my heartbeat steadies from the sight of his face lighting up. 

"What made you have the impression I wasn't? I have strengths too." He raises his eyebrows, standing from the chair and nodding his head towards to the exit of the library. I smile, agreeing to walk with him. It was around six o'clock, so I guess I should head back to commons. 

I huff in thought, "How ashamed you looked asking for help." 

"I looked ashamed?" Oskar laughs, tilting his head back momentarily from his chuckles. 

"Yes," I giggle, "What did you need tutoring in?" 

He shrugs, "Anything but Potions." 

"So you're strength is Potions?" I question him with a raised eyebrow, surprised by his answer.

"Don't get cocky, Winters, one strength is better than none." Oskar nudges me as we walk, "Can you help with defence against the dark arts, though?"

Weird. We haven't even got the stimulus for DADA yet. What if it's like easy and I'm helping him for no reason? I know Ivy and Angel aren't going to be thoroughly happy with me, but Ivy said to stay confrere with them; surely helping Oskar with schoolwork wasn't deemed inappropriate or anything. 

"Uh— yeah." I nod

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Oskar and I enter into the common room, his loud voice grabbing the attention of everyone there; Which was unfortunately Ivy and Angeline. Ivy's eyes widen with shock, sending a feeling of guilt and embarrassment through my veins. Angel conveys a disappointed glance, her eyes trailing on Ivy as the brunette stormed out of the common room and disappearing down the girls dormitory corridor. Almost immediately, Angel sighs while she jogs to give Ivy company.

"What a sight." Draco snickers, his eyes coasting my shocked frame before he tilts his head back and rests it upon the sofa's cushions.

"And what is that meant to mean, Malfoy?" I question him, the annoyance I felt for myself from associating with Oskar was making my blood boil. Each second that Draco remained quiet only grew my heightening aggravation. I peer up at Oskar, who was completely unbothered. He really did assume his actions were appropriate and his insults meant nothing, another truth Ivy and Angeline spoke. "I asked you a question, did I not?" I mutter, ambling towards him as I conceal my brewing botheration. 

He tilts his head back up, facing me with wide eyes and a cocky smirk on his lips. "Watch your tone, Winters. You know I have no problem in repeating when I said the other day." 

I felt my top lip twitch slightly, we shared a murderous glare to one another before I crumble, unable to tolerate him or pushing him to the edge where he'd expose my family situation. I scoff, composedly stomping off to my dorm. 

What in the actual fuck is wrong with him?! 

What happened to him?

Who turned such a...

bearable,

caring,

& friendly boy,

.. into a fucking   
monster?

What the fuck happened?!?!

I wasn't mean. I wouldn't broadcast the things I knew about him to the entirety of the fucking common room. He KNEW I would never do such a thing. I'd never drop down to that level; besides, He clearly knows more about me than I do for him. I barely know about his secrets or hidden traumas, or anything of the matter that could change him into a vile boy— I have zero knowledge of reasons that justify why he's like this. It bothered me. 

How does he even know about my Father? I never, ever uttered a word about it. Father threatened me if I did, he'd scare me into thinking I would wake up on the side of a random road if he found out I told anyone. Mother refused to help, that's how she made it appear. 

Mother would stare at me as Father's hand collided with my cheek. 

She.   
Would.  
Just.  
Stare.

Vesper though, she was forced to watch it happen. It was Fathers way of showing her what halfbloods should endure, he tried desperately to get the point across to her— In some ways, he did. He managed to get Vesper to join in with the purism slander against me. But I saw the sheer pain behind her eyes, beyond those sassy amber eyes of hers lay an absolute loathing for Father. Her eyes in which had an evil blanket cloud them as she pretended to hate me, just to shield herself from Father. 

flashback, Christmas of 1989– Raven age nine. 

Father gripped my wrist with pure force, yanking me towards his office room after I accidentally talked at the Christmas dinner. 

I said three words. just three.

"Thank you, Gimbel"

I thanked the house elf...   
I thanked the house elf for placing my food in front of me..?

Is that bad? 

Father said I mustn't talk, but ordered me to use my manners.

Father said that the house elves deserve more respect than me.

What does that mean? Do I deserve to be kept in a small room, where a icy draft is always present? 

The office door slammed, I'm thrown onto the cold hardwood floors as though I was a toy.

Fear. I'm so scared.

I scrambled on the floor, frantically scurried to the corner of the office.

Fathers eyes were red. They were scaring me. 

"What did I do wrong?" I whispered. 

He strode towards me, crouched right in front of me; giving me the full display of the scorching flames behind his eyes.

"Born. You were born." He gritted through his teeth.

I frown "But— I didn't ask for that.."

"Your Mother is delusional, refuses to send you off to a home or your filthy blood father." 

Mum never seemed like she cared, why would she say that?

He laughs sadistically, "It's quite pitiful, watching her grow to bear you. Watching her tolerate an inbreed."

"Please," My bottom lip quivered, I had not a clue of his intentions.. he has never lashed out like his before. "Tel-Tell me what I did."

Father glared. Horrible, mean and scary glints in his eyes. 

"I won't do it again, if you tell me what I did." I murmur, growing petrified when I realised my low voice— Father didn't allow that, I had to speak clear and proper.

Pain. My cheek shot up in pain. I froze, unable to comprehend what just happened. Did I fall over?

Another sting clashed with the side of my eye. I shut them in fear.

"Never speak like that again, you want respect? Respect me." His voice boomed.

Footsteps fade. A door shuts.

I sat in the corner in fear, for what seemed like hours.

Light footsteps grew audible, I peered up in fear.

Vesper, the face of horror and her beautiful golden eyes glazing with tears. 

She fell to my side, her hands softly cupped my face. Her touch felt so calming. 

"Raven..." Vesper whimpered, her bottom lip shook as she saw how emotionless I was. "I promise to protect you."

"Wha— what just happened, Ves?" I ask her with a wobbly voice. 

Vesper sighs, "You'll understand one day."

What does that mean?

Why does my face hurt so much?

"Stay strong, I know you can do it."

I nodded, unsure of what she even meant.

Vesper and I were two sisters. 

One living in a state of fear, the other trying to protect her no matter what.

I was nine, Ves was ten— too young to be subjected to the beginning of a painful life.


	6. Chapter 6

I knock lightly on Vesper's dorm door, the sound of frantic whispers and soft footsteps radiate from within the room.

A realisation had hurtled to me after my run in with Draco, I was headed for my dorm but then something doomed on me. And it wasn't good either. I physically felt my stomach drop, a sickening feeling curdling inside it as I wait for Vesper to open the door. 

Another additional aspects to add to my ongoing list of self hatreds was how I thought too much, too excessively and to the point where I could physically throw up. I would worry myself to an extent that my thoughts ascended up, burning my throat and expel my body. Weirdly, I felt better after it, maybe because it was actually like my overwhelming thoughts leaving me? 

Vesper opens the door, allowing Theo to leave before smiling at me warmly; but a slight annoyance rested behind the friendly facade. "Raven," Vesper says, shifting the door more wider as a way to indicate I could enter. As I enter her room, I quickly realise that she had a dorm to herself. One bed, a musky grey sofa in the space where the other bed would situate. A small spruce coffee table positioned in front of the sofa, in which the sofa were a shape of an L.

My eyes widen at the sight of objects that were scattered upon the coffee table; a clear bong, two ashtrays and multiple other indistinguishable items. "Uh— room to yourself?" I rise my eyebrows, turning to her after viewing the coffee table. 

"Yeah... Father paid for—" Vesper shrugs, but I quickly stop her from continuing.

"Funny. I don't know why I asked." I laugh, not even surprised that Vesper had a personal room and I shared mine with two girls, who probably want to skin me alive right now.

Vesper sighs, "Ray, what is it?" 

She called me Ray. Everyone was tagging along with Ivy's nickname for me, I found that nice. I've never had a nickname before. 

Vesper had a silky black robe wrapped around her, the thick shiny straps coiled around her waist to keep the fabric in place. I couldn't help but notice how the straps cinched in at her waist, insecurities whirling through me from her annoyingly perfect she was. Her deep black hair was slightly ruffled, with her dusky rose lips more swollen and redder than usual. 

Oh god. Theo. Vesper. Theo leaving. Oh lorddddd.

"Sorry for ruining.. um... whatever I ruined..." I smile at her awkwardly, unsure of how to act as I had literally just cock blocked Theo. Oopsie. 

Vesper laughs, "It's fine, I always have tomorrow. I actually want to see you." 

"Really?" I beam, my face no doubt lighting up with happiness.

She rolls her eyes, softly clasping my hand and guiding me towards the grey sofa. Vesper seats herself on the right side, leaning her elbow against the armrest. "How was your first week? I feel like I've barely seen you." Vesper smiles, reaching her arm to grab a pack of cigarettes. 

The packet was dissimilar to Angel's cigarettes. Vesper's was a bland white with yellowy gold lines around the borders of the small cardboard packet. The packet that Angel had was black for this prominent colour, the lines were a deep red instead of yellow. Vesper flips the lid back, showcasing more cigarettes in the clearly brand new packet. 

"Angel's cigarettes don't look like that." I blurt, bringing my legs onto the sofa and crossing them. Vesper's hand drops to my knee, where she lets out a little chuckle.

"That's because Angeline has lungs of steel." She shrugs, popping the white filter part in her mouth and lighting the end. I glance at her with confusion, Vesper was speaking as though I understood smoking and drug terms. 

I smoked, but not a lot. I'd usually sneak two or three from Mum's packet at home, after she had left them out in the open or passed out with a glass of pink champagne in her hands; Only Merlin knows how it didn't fall from her grasp. I had never been informed about information on drugs and stuff, it was interesting but I didn't divulge into it too much. The last thing I need is to be a forty year old woman who drinks champagne all the time and sleep, as well as an insane man who saw you as a target and drank copious amounts of bourbon.

"These ones are lighter in harshness, Angeline's are meaner on the throat— but better if you want a nice nicotine rush." Vesper clarifies, I nod my head in understanding. "So... your week? Was it good? No one give you trouble?"

"It was better than expected. Angel's really sweet, I think Ivy wants to slaughter me." I admit, nervously thinking of the ways she'd kill me or torture me until I understand Oskar was bad news. Which I did understand, I just felt bad for laughing at him. 

Vesper knits her eyebrows, "Why? Only person Ivy would kill is Potter."

Why would she kill Potter? As in Harry Potter?

"I came into commons with Oskar," I confess, her face freezing instantly from my words. "And she stormed out when she saw us."

"Do. not. fucking. blame. her." She bluntly replies, peering at me briefly in irritation. "Ray, it's basically protocol to inform girls on those three fuckwits. I know one of them told you why, are you mental?"

I sigh, "I laughed at him and felt bad, then we just walked to commons together. It didn't mean anything." 

Vesper chuckles, "Laugh at him more. It'll ruin the cunts ego."

"Ves! Language!" I gasp, slapping her upper arm.

"Absolutely not. It's the best word to describe him." She huffs, inhaling a large amount of smoke.

How do I bring up what I came here for? I don't want her to get angry at me, or think I'm assuming things— I'm genuinely curious, I certainly won't be mad at her; I've never been mad, I'm not an angry person. She needs to be truthful with me though, I must know.

"Ves, did you say anything to Draco about Father?" I quietly ask, a gasp immediately emits from her. Vesper shuffles around so that her legs were on the couch and facing me, her back against the armrest. She slips a cigarette from the packet and holds in front of me, I glance at her with confusion but take the stick between my fingers.

I place the filter end amidst my lips, whereupon Vesper ignites the end with her metal lighter. The smoke fills my lungs, feeling extremely similar to Mothers cigarettes and far from the intensity of Angel's. I exhale the vague smoke, watching as it dissipated into the air. "What did he say to you?" Vesper asks, the protectiveness within her now being on display. 

"It doesn't matter, did you tell him?" I query further, inhaling the smoke and holding it for a few seconds before expelling it. 

"Yes." Vesper bluntly says, a sensation of disappointment and hurt running through me. We meet eyes, her amber iris's were accompanied by a noticeable sight of remorse.

"Why?" I take a long draw of the cigarette, feeling the nicotine and chemicals blanket a sense of relaxation upon me as it hits my systems. 

Vesper lets out a shaky breath, "Ray, I know how you can be but promise me you'll not interrupt and just listen." She looks at me, eyes pleading with me and dropping to a calmed level when I nod in agreement.

Flashback, Vesper's POV.   
~ March of 1995, Vesper is in fifth year, Draco in fourth.

(this is quite long!) 

I sat in the common room, feeling utterly disgusted by myself. The warm fire felt nice against my shivering skin, but I wasn't cold— traumatised instead. I'd like to think the crackling fire was mending me, which I managed to fully believe as it actually brought a sense of safe upon me. 

A vodka bottle was clutched in my hands, feeling quite in control of the bottles contents as with just a simple slip; I could set a huge fire ablaze. I heard the common rooms door slam open, then shut lightly as the person clearly didn't close it themselves. 

I knew who it was, there was only one idiot in this house that slammed doors open like that— and it was no other than the man himself, Draco Malfoy.

"Share." Draco hissed, a slight crack in his voice, but I didn't dare look at him. He sat on the floor beside me, our knees touched and I flinched; so he shuffled over. 

Weird.

I passed the bottle to him, staring at him through the corner of my eye as he glugged down an insane amount; almost two/fifths of it. I was intoxicated. I only have around one/fifth, but it was enough to forget about shit.

We shared the bottle back and forth for about twenty minutes, I had never felt such serenity and euphoria in my life. I wasn't a heavy drinker, but a thought of being one and turning into my parents was scaring me. I felt so happy right now, though.

Then I did something stupid. As Draco passed the bottle to me, I looked at him. He glared at me, my eyes refused to leave his beaten state.

Cut on his cheek, busted bottom lip, bruising jaw and his knuckles covered in bloody cuts.

"What, Ves? Staring at me with empathy?" Draco questioned me, laughing as I furrowed my brows. "Stop. Like you've been through this shit."

"Dra—" I tried to speak, he was obviously drunk.

"It's so fucking annoying that you all know, especially you. You have this perfect life with parents who praise and adore you." He scoffed, his words taking me aback a little. 

"D—" I uttered, immediately failing.

"STOP!" He screamed, my waterline brimmed with tears.

fuck. I am not crying in front of him. He wants me to cry, he does not care. Why am I still fucking sitting her?

Then, the anger switch clicked within me when I thought of Raven.

"You let me speak, Draco." I blurted rapidly, ensuring he could not interrupt me.

He muttered under his breath, probably curses and profanities but I don't care.

"I'm looking at you with empathy because ever since Raven was fucking nine I have watched her get punched, kicked, spat on and slapped!" I yell, liking how screaming made my anger calm.

"Wh—What?" He slurred. 

He's drunk. Maybe he won't fucking remember. I need to let this out.

"Yeah, Draco. She was a child. I don't know when your Father started on you, but how dare you assume I haven't been through anything!"

Draco was quiet. Staring at me in shock. 

"Watching her get abused every day when I go home for break is fucking horrible! I hate it! She's so oblivious, the first time she happened she practically cut off her emotions and had NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT HAPPENED." I screamed, almost sobbing but this felt amazing. I never told anyone this, keeping it in was hurting my internally. 

Draco jolted from my abruptness.

"Sorry." I muttered

"It's fine, continue." Draco nodded in reassurance.

"I—I love her. She's changed so fucking much. Raven was this lively girl, who woke me up by jumping on my bed. She skipped through the gardens, returning with the most pointless plants. Like I mean she'd return with blades of grass." I was sobbing. But Draco just listened. 

"Then— after the first time I don't really think she comprehended it, like she didn't even know it happened. It went ON AND ON, DRACO. Soon it was the day before I left for second year, Father stormed into the house as red as a fucking tomato. He had been at a meeting with YOUR Father and other business people." I weeped, my words still somehow understandable. 

"He— HE FOUND OUT SHE TALKED TO YOU!! Just fucking talked to you... I SWEAR HE NEARLY KILLED HER. She— She look-looked so fucking bad."

I remember that day like it was yesterday. Her whole face swelled from how many blows she had to her angelic face, but it wasn't angelic anymore. Raven looked worse than those people who professionally box. 

Her nosed gushed with blood, our elf Gimbel anxiously passed Raven tissues as she sat on the floor. Her frozen state happened upon her again, but I never knew this time would be different than the others. 

Her fragile, pale cheeks were glowing shades of reds, purples, blues. There was no tears. Raven never cried when it happened. She would sit there with either an elf at her side or me.

Mother would look at her and gasp in horror. Mutter an order to elf to assist her, but never helped herself. Probably because Father would divorce her.. 

.. he had all the money  
....... he had power  
.. he could lie to the Ministry  
...... he could ruin his family  
.. he could turn everyone on us, explain that he was mental for allowing his wife to cheat.

Raven. would. just. sit. there. As one or two house elves helped her, she'd carry on with what she was doing. Either if it was reading, drawing, stare into space or kindly speak to the elves— she'd act as though it never happened. 

"It's hurts, Draco. SHE NEVER CRIES, NEVER REACTS TO IT. ITS SO PAINFUL TO WATCH, DRACO!! I CAN NOT WAIT FOR THE DAY THAT I TURN EIGHTEEN AND MOVE OUT! BECAUSE IM FUCKING TAKING RAVEN WITH ME! I KNOW FATHER WON'T CARE!!" I sobbed more, snot dripped from my nose and I just wiped it away. 

"HE. WOULD. BE. HAPPY. ABOUT. IT." I shook uncontrollably, then something took me by surprise. 

Draco leaned over, placed his hands under my knees and upon my mid-back; then tugged me onto his lap, I sat comfortably atop his crossed legs. 

"Keep going, Ves. I'm here." He whispered, it made me cry more.

"I'm so— so scared for her, Draco." I whimpered, his hand that raked through my black hair and the other that coasted along my thigh was soothing me. 

"When are you eighteen?" He asked me, the unfamiliar sound of a shakiness in his voice. 

"Seventh year, January 6." I sobbed. 

Soon. Very soon. Soon I could save her. 

"My Fathers the same." He said, "He found out I talked to her.. because before I attended Hogwarts she and I— hung out."

"Really?" 

"It's my turn to talk, I won't yell like you did though, okay?" 

I nodded against his chest.


	7. Chapter 7

To be absolutely honest, what Vesper told me that Sunday night had destroyed me. Not just how much she utterly cared for me, or how she coped with it, or how it broke her to see me unfazed by it; but from what she said about Draco. Angel and Ivy briefly went over it when they warned me about them, however they didn't go into details. Vesper went into details. 

I was broken. So broken that Vesper dismissed her full protection of me and offered me muggle herb. I'd never smoked, but I said yes. It was nice, I didn't think. I could feel though, however it was only the relaxation that spread across my body and Vesper's embrace. I knew Vesper was being truthful, she had tears held back and her voice was quivering. Plus, Vesper basically vowed to never let me do drugs or buy drugs off people— apparently she threatened them all. 

I love her, I love her so much. 

Her and I managed to stagger to her bed that night, it was quite early; around eleven o'clock, well that's early for me at least. I'd typically think until the brink of the sun rose. We fell asleep in each other's arms, it was the most comforting feeling ever, I don't think I ever realised how touch starved I was. 

It was Monday now, I had transfigurations. Honestly, I'm sort of worried. Worried because Professor McGonagall lives for seating arrangements, also adores the expressions of students when she pairs them with polar opposites. Can you guess who this lucky girl got sat beside? Draco. 

Looking at him is going to be impossible, talking to him probably even harder. I knew I heard a tone of pain in his voice, a tone in which took over all happy pitches and replaced with broken ones. It hurts worse now, knowing what caused it all. Obviously, I had never thought of it as anything simple or childish, but I definitely did not assume it was from exactly what I had been through. 

He is hiding pain, I hid my pain too.

He hid his by having sex, bullying people and acting all tall and proud. I hid mine by reading, keeping quiet and thinking intensely on things. 

But we both hid it by acting as if it never happened. 

Vesper told me that Draco made everyone believe that his Father had stopped. And they took his word for it. I can't blame them though, he concealed it really well, too well in fact. Apparently his Father attended his Quidditch games and came to the school a lot, and hurtful things happened. So, he covered it up. He'd practice Quidditch, tell everyone he was practicing and return with bruises and cuts. And no one suspected a thing. Vesper caught on, but stayed quiet; it wasn't her business, and said he turns into a cruel person if you ever question him on it. 

"Winters." His voice sounds from behind me, making me jolt. 

I glance to my left, observing him as he took a seat beside me. God what am I doing? Scanning the boy for bruises and scars? As if you haven't been through the same Raven, he knows the tricks just like you do.

"Good morning." I say quietly, finding it weird that he was here so early. 

I guess, me coming to class early was strange too— but I liked to avoid the stares of students as I walk the halls and into class. Transfigurations was with Hufflepuffs, and let me tell you, I have never seen such fear on students faces in my life. It was like they presumed I'm a mini Vesper, I think they are quite silly to not realise I wasn't; doesn't my endless reading and frequent silence portray that? 

"Heard Argento talking about you this morning." Draco snickers, I sigh as I realise it's his coping mechanism. I suppose with the knowledge about him, I can tolerate him; but I wasn't allowing myself to be a doormat and let him say things about my home life, that's too far... he should understand that. 

I look at him.

'His Father... he— puts out his cigarettes on his forearms'

Peeking at his arm as his eyes were skimming over the front of the room, I happen upon his white school shirt covering his entire arm and ending it his wrists, where they were cuffed with a button. 

"Oh, he shocked me. Apparently he likes to read." I shrug, his icy grey eyes slowly shift onto me after they glided over the walls of the classroom. What was he doing? "Why are you looking at the walls like that?"

He chuckles lightly, "Blaise drew a dick on one of the posters and I think they removed it."

I smile, smiling because he was showing his real laugh. Not the mean one he'd do when you were about to cry, or the one where he'd find it funny after insulting you. His real laugh, the same one I remember when he was a kid. 

"You didn't tell me what Oskar said." I awkwardly form my lips into a firm line as he glares at me.

Lord. The timer for decent Draco has gone off. 

"Doesn't matter." Draco mutters, I sigh in defeat and glance to the front of the room. 

There was still five minutes to class actually started, and being in Draco's presence was like stepping on eggshells. I'd think if I breathed wrong, he'd snap. As much as I didn't want to, I felt like I should just endure all the mean things he'd undoubtedly do. Clearly, it's his way of coping. Mine was the opposite, to remain quiet and avoid conflict. But his was not to remain quiet and be the instigator for conflict. 

Three minutes until class begins, I glance over at him. He is reading a book, what is going on? Lord, it's a romance book. I know because I've read it and remember the chapter names. But the cover and back are disguised as a Potions textbook.

"Malfoy." I spurt, mentally strangling myself.

Draco hums in response.

"I'm sorry about what I said. In Arithmancy—" 

"Ok. good." He says with annoyance, shutting down the conversation before I could sincerely apologise— but alas, that wasn't going to happen.

"Why are you reading Outlander?" I question again, his temper rising this time.

He glares at me, shutting the book and shoving it into his bag. "Careful, Winters. Curiosity killed the cat." Draco knits his eyebrows, conveying a glare of daring me to continue. 

I give him a blank stare, sighing in relief when I heard students enter the room. 

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Transfigurations went by quickly, I ignored Draco and he gladly ignored me back. Honestly, I felt somewhat weak around him now. He practically knows everything; from when it begun, to my appearance after each time, to how I didn't react to it and pretended it never happened, then to how much Vesper truly loved me and feared for my safety. Everything, and he's acting like he doesn't— which I guess is alright, but not when he insults me with my Fathers name in it. That hurt. 

Potions flew by, as did Charms and I now had study; that I was grateful for. Professor Snape wasn't the friendliest of people, nor the most considerate with homework. The homework was a short quiz about Dementors, seeing as he wanted to know how much knowledge we already had; and the cheeky bastard assigned me extra, just to make sure I could keep up. Which was rude, he doubts my abilities. Aren't Professors meant to be helpful and encouraging? Not fucking raising an eyebrow at you as they judge your knowledge?

"Ah— wouldn't it be the nerd herself." A voice came from behind me, I look over and see Oskar. He takes a seat beside me, smirking the same cocky smirk that Draco did. 

I smile, feeling awkward from being around him— annoyed with myself from overlooking Ivy and Angel's words. 

"So— the homework Snape—" Oskar starts, but I decide to quickly disrupt him.

"I don't think I should help you, Argento." I confess, nervously spinning my quill between my finger tips. 

His brows furrow, "Why?" He says with shock, a hint of irritation behind it. 

I sigh, "Because I feel like you must be getting the wrong idea, I didn't come to Hogwarts for the sole purpose for boys to flirt with me." It sounded harsh, but I felt incredibly weird about it all. He always smirked, winked or scanned my body— all while I was in front of him, he was clearly trying to send a message. 

Oskar scoffs, "Winters, you're pretty and all, but I seriously suck at DADA." 

That's embarrassing.

"So it's all professional? You just need help?" I question, pulling my eyes from his as they seemed rather offended. I pretend to read the homework Professor Snape assigned, attempting to flee the humiliation that was clouding my face.

"Yes, that's it. I apologise if I gave you the wrong impression, I'm... uh.. unintentionally flirty." He admits awkwardly, making me laugh from his confession. 

"I couldn't tell." I giggle.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

We finished the homework that Professor Snape assigned, well the one sheet of work— I hastily jotted down the answers for the homework that I was annoyingly and unnecessarily given. Oskar was unquestionably dumbfounded with how I completed both of them in a time quicker than the one we finished together; the answer was because he actually sucked at DADA, which is gave me permission to bully him about.

"So... what's your favourite book?" I ask him curiously, he hums in thought as we walked to the Great Hall for dinner.

"The English Dictionary." Oskar jokes, I roll my eyes at his sarcasm. "But.. um.. the one I'm reading now."

I nod, "Yeah, I've read the one." 

"I am not surprised." He says bluntly, "Can you tell I'm not surprised?" Oskar smirks as he glances down at my playfully bothered expression, then childishly nudges me and I slightly stumble to the side from the contact.

"I feel bad for Katy though, summer flings seem disheartening." I shrug, looking at Oskar and his face blanketed with complete confusion. "Katy.. the main character in the book you're reading..... Summer Dreams?"

"Ohhhh— My mind was somewhere else. But me too." He quickly says, almost as if he was covering for himself.

"I like her character though, not Steve. He bothers me, not giving her closure and confusing her." I keep the topic up, Oskar's expression was stupidly easy to read. He seemed as though he was flicking at his memories. I laugh, "You don't absorb information well." 

Oskar snickers, "No, No, Poppet. I was thinking about a different book, called Summer School. I prefer to read two books at a time, just Summer Dreams is... less appealing to me."

I was startled by this response, I honestly thought I had just caught him in a lie; he truly looked like an unfortunate deer in bright headlights. I purse my lips, realising he actually was sort of a bookworm. 

"I'm going back to commons, see you there." Oskar says, strolling off down a corridor that was a few steps from the Great Halls doors. I'm somewhat glad he did that, if Ivy saw me with him again; I would no doubt be skewered and spun around over a pit of fire, which I was not really fond of...

I step into the Great Hall, ignoring the stupid states of petrified Hufflepuffs that sat at the table end. Rolling my eyes, I take a seat next to Vesper— quickly realising that Theo wasn't there.

"Goyle! Why are you the large, hungry oaf today?" Ivy hisses at the big, but taller, boy of the two boys that ate all the food. It soon came habitual to me that her raging at them was endless. 

"Hey—" I quietly say, earning a brief glare from Ivy; her brown eyes laser into my ocean blue ones. Angel peers at me, still a look of disappointment. Draco doesn't acknowledge me; obviously. Blaise says a quick hey.

Vesper huffs, "Ivy, I love you but stop. You always assume without asking. Ray's actually tutoring the fucking Argento halfwit."

I gasp, hastily drawing my bottom lip between my teeth to half myself from gasping any louder. Ivy's narrow eyes shoot up at Vesper, strong and bothered at first but steadily descend to a much friendlier appearance. "In what class?" Ivy asks, her expression seeming quite suspicious.

"Defence against the dark arts." I mutter as Vesper peered at me, her stare ordered me to speak.

Angel scoffs, "He actually fucking sucks ass at that class." She breaks into a fit of laughter, her hands gripping the side of the wooden table to stable herself. "He was— honest for... once!"

Ivy shifts her eyes to Angel, her lips in a firm line and eyes on the blonde girl who couldn't stop herself for laughing. "I-Ivy, it's hilarious. When.. has the git ever been— honest!" 

Stupidly, I chuckle lowly from her inability to stop. It was no surprise to me that she found this hilarious, after she really thought Draco's insult to Oskar was funny too. To be truthful, Angel undeniably has a strange sense of humour— which mostly came from the three 'assholes'. Strange, is it not?

Vesper's sappy amber eyes remain on Ivy, "Be friends again. You and Angeline are inseparable, Ray doesn't entirely... ya know." 

Yeah, cool, felt like I was just threw under a bus— not in the sense that I was exposed, but that now everyone knows I only hung around Ivy and Angel.

"Yeah, of course. Sorry, Ray." Ivy smiles genuinely. 

"Pfft," Draco chuckles, "Does little Ray Ray have no friends?"


	8. Chapter 8

"Are you asking for a fucking death wish, Draco!" Vesper screams at me as soon as she slammed the door to her dorm shut. 

Clearly saying 'Does little Ray Ray have no friends' induces a spawn of Satan to drag you down the halls and shove you into her dorm— It would've been better under different circumstances, but it is what it is.

I snicker, "Stop angering yourself for no reason." 

Her eyes widen in rage, blankly blinking at me in a way that I was stupid or some shit. "Dr— Merlin, are you kidding me?" 

"No?" 

"After everything I told you, even with you knowing how broken she is— you decide to treat her like you treat EVERYONE?" She's definitely angry. 

That time when I was in fourth year is nothing but a drunken conversation. No, I did not feel bad for Winters Junior, I'm dealing with it easily; why can't she? I felt bad for Vesper, which I don't normally feel sorry for people. She watched it happen, she didn't block it out like Winters did— she endured everything for years with wide eyes and conscious mind. I highly fucking doubt Winters is even still aware of it all, she certainly doesn't act like it. 

She just wanders the halls like she's better than everyone, holding her book against her chest and keeping her eyes on the ground; you could almost say she's asking for people to approach her, she always looked like she was about to fucking cry.

It is kind of strange knowing she's been through the same as me, but fucking scary because she can relate to me. I've seen her observing me all day, her eyes occasionally wandering to my arms or my neck— as though she was my fucking Mother, checking for scars and marks that Father left me. But she must be up in the clouds or some shit, does she really think I would let them be visible to people...?

Honestly, I'm pissed off that Vesper told her. I didn't need another useless student knowing. 

One - it's not her business.   
Two - she's the last person in this bloody school who I'm okay with them knowing.   
Three - a stupid halfblood.   
Four - I did not want her pathetic pity. 

Vesper clearly wasn't aware that I knew, I happened upon it myself. I saw Winters peering at my arms, she did not do a wonderful job at being discreet about it. You could be in fucking space and notice her obviousness. 

"Sounds like you've got the wrong impression from that night, Ves." I admit, shrugging. 

Suddenly, Theo barges into Vesper's dorm as though he owned it. For some reason, I think he might've gone blind since he stormed over to the sofa and yanked a metal tin from his pocket. "You may continue." Theo huffs in annoyance, his voice slightly muffled from the joint filter that lay between his lips.

"Uh—" I go to speak, but Vesper stops me.

"He knows." She confesses.

I sigh in utter aggravation, "Why are you telling people like it's your shit to fucking tell?!" 

Vesper scoffs, strolling towards the sofa and sitting herself beside him. "Pretty obvious answer for that, Draco." 

God this woman. I walk over to them, sitting on the part of the L shape sofa that they weren't on. "And what's that?" I question her, feeling my blood boil from her astounded appearance.

"I care about Ray's wellbeing, Theo cares about yours." Vesper rolls her eyes, "Don't you dare argue with how he shouldn't."

I snicker, "Fucking rude of you to assume I would." 

"Draco— have a bowl." Theo sighs, twisting the tip of the joint he just rolled and placing it between he lips. I stay quiet as he calmly ignites the end, inhaling deeply and slouching into the cushions while he exhales.

Vesper purses her lips, the evil glare in her eyes visible as ever. "You know what, pester Ray as much as you want. But keep it to a fucking minimum. If I find out you made her cry, like you do with every other girl, I will yank your dick off." 

I throw my hands up in defence, "Yes, Ma'am." 

"Good. Theo and I are in his dorm tonight, feel free to smoke and bring your birches here." Vesper informs, snagging the joint from Theo. 

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

I took Vesper's invitation of access to her dorm for the night, who wouldn't? It's the only dorm Professors don't check, even if they feel suspicious. Who knows why. I suppose it's the money keeping them away, because her parents obviously put money into one child. Her dorms huge, same size as mine just girly. Hers was slightly better though, she charmed a spell on the room so that smoke never lingered into the dormitory corridor. And— because she's fucking difficult, she refused to tell me the charm, so I dealt with a dorm that had a towel relentlessly lodged against the bottom of the door. 

Blaise was blazed, bit bloody ironic if you ask me. His eyes were a red hue, and he was laughing at everything. Which, I guess, is actually entertaining. At least he's not anything like Oskar when he's high, he thankfully talks about things other than girls. Oskar's infatuated by them, evidently by one girl in particular; Raven Winters. The horny bastard had decided just now that he was going to count up her points, which was amusing considering he actually thinks he's going to win the nun who took a vow of silence.

"So, one hundred and fifty points for virgin." Oskar scribbles on the back of the pointing system paper, seemingly confident he can do math while fucking high. 

"You still think you'll get her?" I chuckle to his stupidity, in which the highest man in the room, Blaise, laughs with me. 

Oskar glances at me, a look of being offended plastered over his features. "I'm hurt that your doubting me."

I roll my eyes, "Trying to help you out. You could be getting points from different girls instead of fantasising about Winters."

"You have a point." Oskar shrugs, "But she's a gold mine for points."

Blaise snickers, "I'd like to hear them, big man."

They glare at each other for a second or two, then Oskar shifts his eyes to the paper. "So, one hundred and fifty for virgin. thirty for good ass. thirty five for amazing body. twenty for Slytherin."

"That's two hundred and thirty five, a base number of course." Oskar says, circling the final number that he shockingly managed to attain; the weed obviously not getting in the way of his plans. 

In a way, I did not want this to happen. But, then again, I need to see how fucking delusional Winters is— if she falls for him, does she really deserve my respect after that? It would only make it clear to everyone that she was incredibly stupid and nonsensical.

"It's an automatic win though." Blaise says, his brows furrow as he subtly questions Oskar on his reasons for adding points. 

"Still," He shrugs, his ego was possibly bigger than the whole school. "Fun to know how much she's worth."

"Hm," Blaise nods, just going with the flow of what he was saying. "Any events take place that convinced you she would fuck you?"

Get ready for the speeding ship of cockiness and conceited words to hurtle on shore.

"She thinks I like reading, like actually enjoys it. I made up some huge fucking lie and she believed me." Oskar chuckles, the pride and monumental ego of his personality bursting through his voice. "Bloody told her I got mixed between two books and that's why I got confused, she didn't even question it— like in hell I'll read a fucking book just to fuck her." 

Blaise seemed shocked, which was strange. Almost like he's never heard the full force of Oskar Argento's absurdly high ego, he's unarguably worse than me. "I wish you all the luck." Blaise chuckles, scratching his finger up and down on the sofa's fabric. 

Suddenly, a knock at the door makes all three of us practically shit ourselves.

Raven's POV

When no one answered the door, nor a sole word uttered from the room; I twist the doorknob, realising it was unlocked. Pushing the door open, I take a peek towards Vesper's bed to see no one there. I close the door behind me, then jump out of my skin from the sight of Draco, Blaise and Oskar all staring at me. 

"Uh— Bye." I turn around, going to open the door but a voice stops me.

"Winters, come." Draco says.

I gulp in unequivocal fear, being in a room with these three was certainly not on my bucket list. Sighing, expelling my nerves and anxieties out with a long exhale. I stroll over to them, awkwardly standing in front of the three boys with the coffee table separating us. "Sit." Draco orders, patting the space beside him. I listen, seating myself between him and the armrest to my right, which I lean onto as I attempt to stray far far away from Draco. 

"What are you doing here?" He questions me, inducing me to shoot my eyes up to him from the floor, in which they fell on out of immense fear.

"I was looking for Ves." I smile, trying to compose how timid I was feeling internally. 

"Do you smoke?" Blaise asks, I glide my focus to him. He was practically being consumed by the sofa's cushions as he sat in the corner of the L sofa. Oskar was beside him, a far distant between the two. 

"Uh— not weed.." I lie, getting high right now would be fun; but not on a school night and with these three. 

Blaise sighs, "Shame." 

I furrow my eyebrows at Blaise, then flicker my eyes to Oskar then on Draco— realising they were all intensely staring at me. It was intimidating, I felt like a beta wolf amongst three alphas. They're interest filled stares were piercing onto me. I don't entirely think Blaise knew he was staring, he seemed too high to comprehend it. Oskar and Draco though, Merlin please save me. 

Oskar's eyes skim over my figure in a very slow motion, his mind taking in every inch of my petite frame. Draco on the other hand, it truly felt like he was deciphering me— his narrowed eyes and knitted eyebrows impaling onto my eyes, trying desperately and intently to understand me.

I see Blaise smirk, his eyes darting to Oskar for a mere moment before riveting them on me again. "Oskar likes to read, you know." Blaise smiles, attempting to hide an obvious smirk; seemingly finding that Oskar reading is funny. 

"I know." I shyly reply, my leg bouncing up and down from the heightening anxieties. Never in my life did I think three teenage boys would bring me so much fear, I felt as though one of them was bound to leap on me or insult me. "He's shit at absorbing the information in them though." I shrug, hoping to appear less terrified if I say something snarky.

Blaise laughs, "I know." 

"Jeez, thanks." Oskar scoffs, glaring at Blaise as he does so.

"I must ask though, Winters." Blaise says, my eyes on the stoned boy that slouched into the cushions. "Your skirts incredibly short, for a virgin."

I blink at him at an utter loss of words, Angel was right; once again. 

'For your safety, you're not a virgin.'

Remembering Angel's words, I knew I had to stick with it. Everything Ivy and Angel have said about these three were right, who's the say they'd lie about the virgin bullshit? 

"I'm not a virgin." I blurt.

Oskar's eyes widen, Blaise smirks with absolute amusement. The two were shocked, I would be too. I had every aspect of an obvious virgin; shy demeanour, dork, awkward, can't flirt/ don't really want to and all I do is read— as though boys and sex weren't on my mind, which they never were.

For some strange reason, Draco was smirking at me in a different manner compared to Blaise. His smirk appeared more proud, an expression of amusement was noticeable— completely crystal clear. He wasn't trying to hide it either, Draco seemed genuinely impressed and glad from what I said. Unfortunately, he also allowed the appearance of disbelieve covering his features. Draco doesn't fucking believe me, this seems bad.

"I knew you were secretly a slut, Winters." Draco smirks, his eyes brewing with egotistical glints. "Leave." He sharply says, making me jolt.

Without a second thought, I smile before strolling to the door.

"Nice ass!" Blaise calls out, my face immediately flushing with warmth. 

Thank the heavens that I wasn't facing them.


	9. Chapter 9

I knock lightly on my dorm door, not wanting to barge in on Angel and Ivy. Vesper may have had a little talk with Ivy, but that doesn't overlook my actual apology. Ivy deserves a real one, an apology where Vesper doesn't have anything to do with it— of course, I love and appreciate her for helping; but, after all, it was my fault. 

After the thing that just happened, my heartbeat was thumping at an unhealthy speed and soon to break through my bones that protected it. I have never been seen as a body to boys before, well at least not been verbally aware of it. Yeah, I've noticed creepy men eye me in London, but I'm sure they'd hate to be thrown in prison after making a move— the older men in London were nicer than Slytherin boys; and that feels gross to say.

'Nice ass'

'your skirt is incredibly short, for a virgin'

Never have I been talked about in that way, probably behind closed doors I have— but not like that. I know I keep repeating it, because I'm shamefully unsure of how to even react to it. What was I meant to do? Say thank you? 

In a way, I'm sort of rattled. It feels weird, seeing as I'm not habitual with horny teenage boys— or boys who are stupidly too high to understand what they are saying. If Draco said my skirt was short, or called out saying 'nice ass', I would be madder; I'm not mad at Blaise, he was stoned, when I was high the other night— I might have said silly things too. Oskar didn't say much, which I'm somewhat thankful for. He didn't flirt with me in front of them, that confused me though.

However, Draco called me a slut? Right after I protected myself, he didn't believe me at all; I saw it in his eyes and smirk, he didn't even try to hide it. But then he insulted me, as though he DID believe me. Honestly, he's fucking irritating. I wasn't offended by what he said, I'd much rather hear 'slut' than something about my Father. That's because I was not a slut, so how could I be hurt by a word I know isn't true; but my Father was true, and as much as I didn't show it— it hurt me. 

The door opens, revealing Ivy on her bed with Angel right beside her. Angel's wand was pointed at the door, she flicks her wrist as I enter; the door immediately closing behind me. I smile awkwardly, shuffling my feet upon the wooden floorboards as I saunter towards them. 

"Hi." I mutter, standing in between the two. Both their legs were crossed, with cigarettes in their hold. 

"Hello." Angel says, budging over and patting the free space that she just created. I sit beside her, Ivy's eyes watching me like a hawk.

"Um— I'm sorry." I begin, keeping my gaze mostly on Ivy as it seemed to effect her much more. "I don't expect forgiveness or whatever, but believe me when I say I had no intentions to piss you off nor speak to Argento."

Ivy sighs, "It's fine— Ray. Just bothered that you didn't tell me you were tutoring him." 

I purse my lips, "I felt guilty, since you practically said to keep them nothing more than someone you see in commons..."

Angel laughs, smoking escapes her nostrils. "Oh Ray, we were just talking about that. Feel free to help him, but stay in commons."

Nodding in agreement, Ivy smiles in affirmation to Angels words.

'Nice ass,   
slut,   
I'm not a virgin.'

"Blaise said I had a nice ass, Draco called me a slut and I told them I wasn't a virgin." I blurt out, Angel gasps and Ivy's eyes widen.

They remain quiet for a few seconds, processing what I just rambled out. I couldn't really control it, all the knowledge of how annoyed they were from my silence made it impossible to resist telling them. If I wanted them to trust me, or grow their trust for me; I need to begin being truthful myself. Although I really didn't want them to know, considering I felt incredibly strange about it— I needed to.

"I— what?" Angel stutters from confusion, "Say that slowly and with... more detail?"

Sighing, "I was looking for Ves, so I went to her dorm and fucking Draco, Blaise and Oskar were there." 

Ivy scoffs, "Let me guess, they made you stay?"

"Yeah... Blaise said 'your skirts incredibly short, for a virgin'. So, I freaked out and remembered Angel saying I wasn't a virgin to protect myself." I admit, Ivy's face lighting up after I confess what Angel had presently told me. "So I told them I wasn't a virgin, then Draco called me a slut and as I left Blaise said 'nice ass'.."

Angel snickers, "Ignore Blaise, he's actually the most harmless one. He's like me when he's high, noooo fucking filter." 

"Except you never have a filter." I laugh, causing Ivy to snort from suppressing a chuckle. 

Ivy shrugs, "That's probably the nicest thing you'll hear come out of Draco's mouth, I noticed you two arguing last week but no idea what yous said."

My face drops, that was the first horrible thing he said that actually hurt me. 'Did Father beat it out of you?' or something along the lines of that. If I knew, back then, what his Father did to him— I never would of said what I replied with. It was just a thoughtless comeback, he really stabbed my heart with what he said. 

"Oh. Yeah, it wasn't too bad." I twist my lips to the side, glancing at Ivy with a forced facade. 

I know I said I want them to trust me, but this was too personal. It bothered me that Draco knew, who knows if he's going to run around the school exposing me. Angel and Ivy definitely didn't seem like the type of girls to hurt me like that, considering they're rude comments to students were actually humorous ones. Like how Ivy growled at Crabbe or Goyle, or Angel making snarky remarks to anyone— not to the level where'd they make you cry.

Angel smiles, "Don't let it get to you. Draco's been through shit, I know that shouldn't disregard his fucking ego or insults— but just tolerate it."

Tolerate it. 

"Is that what you have all been doing? Tolerating it?" I question, knitting my eyebrows as I flick my eyes between Ivy and Angel.

Ivy nods, "Yep. Since end of fifth year he got meh. Told us his Father stopped."

Angel nods with her, "Yeah. I believe him."

That hurts. A lot. 

"Really?" I ask further, wanting to know how he convinced them.

"Third year to fifth, he was utterly horrible, Ray." Angel laughs as though it was ridiculous how cruel he was. "Did not give a flying fuck, he's still bad but doesn't punch anyone that looks at him now."

My eyes widen, "He punched anyone that looked at him?"

Ivy snickers, "Surprising that it shocks you. He just takes his anger out on girls now."

Angel lets out a single laugh, "Feel bad for Pansy and Astoria."

Furrowing my brows at Angel, confused on who Pansy is and why she felt sorry for them. 

"Pansy, his booty call for third and fourth year. Astoria was his last year fling. Both girls probably looser than a fucking grandma." Angel breaks out in laughter, followed by Ivy lightly chuckling.

Well then. Don't want to get involved with Draco then, not that I even wanted to in the beginning. Just if the chance came, It was a definite no, now.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

It was now a Tuesday of second week, the third lesson of the day. DADA went smoothly, Snape was weirdly surprised with my one hundred percent mark for ALL three homework pieces. Every lesson, I grow more and more ignored by him; I bet by the end of the year, his negativity would have finally taken a toll on me and made me lose hope in myself. He was THAT uninspiring.

Lunch was still ongoing, I left early to enter Transfigurations; you know, avoidance of stares and terrified Hufflepuffs. I took a seat at the desk, slipping my transfigurations textbook out my shoulder bag and placing it in front of me. I hadn't seen Oskar much today, nor Draco for that matter. Honestly, I wasn't too bothered by being absent of seeing the egotistical boys face. Mostly wanted to see Oskar, he was alright... but I felt the need to ask him about last night.

"I fucking found it." A voice says from the right side of the room, making me jump from the abruptness and unexpected presence of a student. 

Looking over to the right, Draco stood in front of a poster that listed a few basic rules that Professor McGonagall lived by. Glancing closer, I notice quite a large drawing of a penis on the left corner of the paper poster. Rolling my eyes, I shift my gaze to the front of the room and decide to mind to myself. Draco's subtle footsteps grow louder before a chair screeches beside me, where he lazily takes a seat and leans back into the wooden backrest of the chair. 

"Why'd you tell them you're not a virgin." Draco snickers, I instantly felt his piercing grey eyes on the side of my face. 

I smirk, "Because I am."

"Funny, Winters. I see right through you." He scoffs, my face glowing a light rosey hue. "Exactly, I won't tell them. I don't really give a shit."

Knitting my brows, I swivel to him and rest my left arm over the back of my chair. Pointing my knees to the direction of Draco, my full body turned to him. "Then why do you care?"

Draco shrugs, "Amusing to see them realise your a slut."

I laugh from his cockiness and overwhelming ego. "Bit hypocritical, I must say, Malfoy." 

He rolls his eyes, glaring at me as though I was the most disgusting person to walk this planet. "Do you not learn? A few words could expose you to this fucking school."

Wow. I honestly thought he'd drop it, no doubt Vesper gave him a mouthful. She scares me, if I was Draco and endured her wrath; I'd be quiet. I wanted to keep myself to a minimum with him, he doesn't deserve the satisfaction of irritating me or receiving the reaction he wanted. Even more so, I don't want to argue with him. I really can't understand why he's talking about Father and my experience, he's been through the same and he's assuming I'd be quiet about him— which I would, it's sad and not my business at all.

"Almost like I could do the same thing." I sneer, returning his icy cold glare with my own. 

Unexpectedly, his cool hand wraps around my small wrist, making me instantly flinch. The rings on his fingers caused his hold to be colder and more painful, but it wasn't anything compared to Fathers rage upon me. 

Draco didn't let go, even after watching me flinch— he really does not care. In a way, you would think he switched off his humanity switch; stopping himself from feeling basic human emotions and unable to empathise or sympathise with others. 

I stare at him with a blank face, unfazed by what he was doing. He was looking for a reaction, his glare lasers into mine. The dull, argentine eyes of his were searching for a speck of emotion or slight sight of fear— but what he was doing is pointless. I never reacted to Father, it was like a defence system within me built up and protected me from comprehending everything. I couldn't control it, it just happened naturally— which in many ways I'm glad I had it. 

"Fucking hell, you look like a statue, Winters." Draco scoffs, still gripping my wrist. 

Draco's POV

Nothing. Vesper was right, why did I presume she wasn't?? 

Winters showed no sign of fear.

No sadness.

No distress. 

Anxiety, discomposure, none of those fucking emotions. 

Her crystal blue eyes really had vanished of all life and wonderment. The curiosity that usually glistened in her vibrant sapphire eyes had disappeared. It replaced with nothing, in a manner that she flipped the switch on her consciousness. Blank, unemotional and a stone like expression upon her features. Nothing, absolutely fucking no sight of feelings or emotions or consciousness to her surroundings. Honestly, it was disturbing and sadly weird. 

Winters actually detached herself from reality, except her aquamarine eyes conveyed a different story. As though she hadn't fully blocked her sight, her eyes were flickering over my features in an inquisition manner. 

Ever since she was little, she expressed herself with stares and nonverbal gestures. But, that meant she quickly found a hobby in examining people's expressions and what lay behind their gazes. 

"Winters, stop fucking doing that." I scowl, taking my hand off her. I watch the life enter her again, she completely overlooks what I just did and twists her lips to the side in thought. 

"Doing what?" Winters questions softly, not a mere sight of threat or fear upon her face. 

"Figuring me out. You can't." I retort, it was stupid that she still tried— she blocked herself out because of things, so did I; did she not think I would have some similar ways of blocking others out too.

She sighs, "I know. Worth a try though."

I scoff, "Don't bring up my Father, Winters. Okay?" She vaguely nods, shifting her eyes to the front of the room. 

⋆  
⋆


	10. Chapter 10

"Ray! Do you like Quidditch?!" Ivy beams beside me, her and I both having study on Wednesday afternoons. The library was eerily silent, considering fourth period subjects on Wednesday were either Care for Magical Creatures or Ancient ruins— which neither of us took. I didn't because the school doubts my intelligence, Ivy didn't as she forgot to hand in her subject selection— she only handed it in after timetables were created, so she had very minimal choice. However, I didn't mind her presence. If I'm rudely and utterly honest, Ivy kept Oskar away. 

I didn't think on it much. My final conclusion of why, though, was because Oskar didn't read in front of people— I've only seen him reading late nights in commons, or in the library with me; which had only been three times or so.

"Uh— I've only ever seen it on newspapers that I snuck—" I stop myself, not everyone knows about your home life. "Only newspapers."

Ivy scoffs in a way that I was the most insane human ever, "Come this Saturday! It's Gryffindor Vs Slytherin!!"

Doesn't Draco's Father attend his Quidditch matches? And then Draco beats himself— oh god.

"Oh... um... it seems a little brutal for my liking." I lie. I liked Quidditch, found it somewhat interesting— it was incredibly rough looking though, honestly doesn't shock me that Draco does it to hide his Fathers marks. 

Ivy slaps my arm, where I subtly jolt from the suddenness. "Sorry, you're really jumpy, Ray." 

Gulping down my nerves, "Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about the first time I rode a broom and fell off." I laugh, covering myself. Ivy giggles, stroking her hand up and down my upper arm. 

"Been there. Please come! Angel focuses on their arses and shit— it's so fucking annoying." Ivy pleas, she pouts her bottom lip out in a childish manner. "If someone falls, I'll cover your eyes."

I roll my eyes, "Fine."

"Yay!!" Ivy beams, nearly falling off her chair in excitement. 

"Who do you think will win?" I ask, raising my eyebrows in interest.

Ivy hums, "I'd want it to be Slytherin, but Gryffindor's really good." 

Oh no.  
I'm a skilled witch, surprisingly good with spells and controlling them. What if I just... charmed one of the Gryffindor's brooms? 

No! that is illegal!

"Who's on the Gryffindor team?" I ponder, Ivy growls in aggravation.

"Potter, Ginny and Ron Weasley, Bitch called something Robins.." Ivy trails on, but stops after naming a few. "Bloody forgot the rest, they'll be practicing right now. Wanna go?" 

Go? Watch Gryffindor's practice? 

"Yeah, don't have anything really important to do." I shrug, sliding my DADA revision book into my bag. 

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Ivy and I exit the library, I peer to my left and spot Ivy's eyes skimming along my frame. 

"Ivy—" I say, her brown eyes meeting mine and a smirk on her face. "What are you doing?"

She shrugs, but still smirks. I come to a halt, as does she.

"You sizing me up?" I laugh, confused by her stare and noticeable smirk.

Ivy chuckles at me, "I have an idea... which you'll just have to trust me on, okay?" 

Knitting my brows, "Tell me what it is first."

"So, you know how Blaise said your skirt is too short?" Ivy queries, I send her a look of fear from her possible intentions. 

I nod, "Unfortunately."

Ivy softly giggles, clasping my hand and yanking me into a random room. 

Glancing around, I realise I haven't been here before. It looks like a transfigurations class, but the posters are off spells I learnt when I was around thirteen. 

"I'm a genius, so just go with the flow, my dear." Ivy smiles warmly, slipping her wand from the pocket in her robes. 

I cross my arms over my chest, "Ah, Ah! Tell me first."

Ivy huffs, "Ray, your skirt is literally mid thigh. Short skirt my ass." I immediately understood what she meant now, in a way I am terrified but also excited to see reactions. "This will have multiple pros, barely no cons."

"Do it. But explain the pros and cons." I sigh, allowing her to continue with her evil plan to make tents in boys pants to rise.

"Pros— you'll shock Draco and shit, really convey the message that you're not a virgin." Ivy evilly laughs, examining my grey school skirt. "More pros, you might distract the Gryffindor team, you'll look hot as fuck, get so many boys; goods ones of course."

I groan in annoyance, "Ivy... I don't want boys attention."

Ivy scoffs, "You already do. Vesper punched this Hufflepuff on the second day, that's why they're so scared of you."

My eyes widen in surprise, that answers why they turn into mice and scurry off at the mere sight of me. "Oh dear." I chuckle, imagining Vesper punching a boy is actually really funny.

"Diffindo." Ivy says clearly, twirling her hand in a lowercase U shape and pointing her wand at my skirt. 

I practically feel the cool autumn air against my ass, gasping and immediately placing my hand around to hem. It was narrowly three inches down my thighs, if I bent over I think the world would certainly explode. "Ivy! Jesus!" I say in shock, she ushers my hands away and fiddles with my skirt.

"Ooo very nice." Ivy finishes twiddling with my skirt, then smiles at me innocently. "Come on, Ray."

I roll my eyes, "This is terrifying, but whatever."

Ivy claps happily, she clutches my hand, yet again, and intertwines our fingers. We exit the room, my nerves already heightening within me.

To my annoyance, I'm actually sort of keen to see people's reactions— especially Blaise, seeing as he was the one who commented on my skirt length. It confused me, did they think girls whose skirts ended mid-thigh were sluts? God, what would be the right term for me right now, then? Prostitute? I didn't really feel like a slut, even with my skirt at a ridiculous length— it leant to a more normal feeling, since half the girls at this school had short skirts. 

Entertaining, it's the proper word for how many stares, snickers, whispers and gawks I got as Ivy and I ambled to the Quidditch field. At times, I felt awkward and uncomfortable— but then someone would whistle and a rush of pride run through my veins. 

It's somewhat stupid and nonsensical that I'm doing this, as if I'm basically asking Draco to irritate me more than he already does. I'm giving him access to new ridicules and other inappropriate nicknames, however I really couldn't care. I mostly agreed to Ivy because I needed to prove to Blaise, Draco and Oskar that I didn't lie. It's to protect myself, I felt more calm with the knowledge that I told them. 

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

"That's Harry Potter." Ivy points at a boy who stood in front of all the students, brooms held in their hands and faces of determination. "He's an ass and I hate him."

"Why?" I question with curiosity.

Ivy laughs, "Story for another day." I nod in response, evidently wasn't earning the drama on that one. "Two redheads are Ginny and Ron Weasley."

"Demelza Robins, that girl there." Ivy continues, "Cormac McLaggen, Andrew Kirke, Jack Sloper." 

"Huh." I shrug, shifting my eyes over to where she would point. "They look really... eager to win."

Ivy snickers, "Of course they are."

"We should like— curse their brooms or something." I laugh jokingly, knowing deep down I actually wasn't. 

Truly, I don't think I'll be able to witness Draco's appearance if he loses. I could never bring myself to look at my own, mirrors were avoided at all times when I was bruised to a pulp. Surely cursing Potters broom, or figure something evil out will be okay..? 

"Wow, Ray, you do have a dark side." Ivy giggles, nudging me with her shoulder playfully. "I think Slytherin has a chance, I heard Draco screaming at them the other day."

My eyes widen, "You did?!"

Ivy nods, her lips in a firm line and eyebrows raised, "They lost last year, like embarrassingly lost. I think we won two games the entire season."

"Damn." I mutter, my mind trailing off to how furious Draco's Father would have been.

"Yeah. But Draco will KILL the team if they humiliate themselves again." Ivy shrugs, her deep brown eyes captivated on the practicing team. Mostly one person in particular though, the boy will circle glasses and black hair.

"Why are you looking at Potter like that?" I ask, a faint pink emanating across her olive cheeks. "I see that, Ivy."

She sighs as though it was in defeat, "You want to know?" I nod eagerly.

"Well... start of fifth, I made the team. Harry and I were weirdly close in fourth, we hung out a lot." Ivy begins, and I think I have a slight idea of where this was going. "I was— scared to tell him. So, I continued hanging out with him for the first two weeks of school."

She scoffs, "I even made Draco change the practicing times, so I knew Harry would be in class or something. I was decent at it, so Draco agreed."

Ivy huffs as she furrows her brows, eyes still on the students flying on their brooms. "Kept it a secret from Harry and the Gryffindor's for two weeks, I was around them when they discussed tactics and shit."

"Then, it was game day. He saw me, he looked like a LOATHED me." Ivy snarls, her eyes flicking around to follow the black haired boy. "He fucking thought I was like a spy or some shit, assumed I told Draco everything."

I hum in thought, "He's a little brainless then, isn't he? Since you won two games."

Ivy laughs, "Literally."

We watched the Gryffindor's zoom on their brooms, shot goals and stop goals.. it was interesting, made it more bearable after Ivy told me about Potter. I hadn't talked to him yet, which I didn't plan too. Ivy informed me that he had a disliking for Slytherin students, think we're all like Draco; which is bloody hilarious. Does he see Slytherin's assuming all Gryffindor's are like Hermione Granger? No, we didn't— I think Slytherins are too conceited to bother with bitching about all students in other houses.


	11. Chapter 11

Each day that passed, we neared closer and closer to Saturday. The last thing I wanted was to be worrying about a sport and a sole person, that being Draco. I would find myself relentlessly going over and over possible outcomes that could transpire— like Slytherin would win and all would be well, or Gryffindor would win and all would not be well. It took every bone and muscle in my body to compel myself from cursing Potter's broom. I don't hate him or anything, I've never met him so I can't judge— but I suppose Draco's well-being and appearance is more important compared to Potter wanting to win. 

To make matters worse, I could not rant about it with anyone. Not to Ivy, Angel or anyone; only Vesper, and she was clung to Theo's side at all hours of the day. It was all eating me up, consuming me into a pit of worry and inducing schoolwork to be a challenge. Never in my entire life did I think I'd be this distressed about Draco, he shouldn't be hurt for losing a silly game— it's not the end of the world, but apparently it is to his Father.

It was around two hours to the game, being in the common room and seeing Draco acting normal become to hard to bear; so I decided to wander to the library. Reading, books and the calm smell of parchment and ink always blanketed a sensation of relaxation upon me; and I was hoping it would now. 

From my excessive thinking on Draco, I found myself going back to that day in Transfigurations and when I spotted him reading a novel called Outlander. It's a romance, I think I may have read it twice or thrice, so I had a clear understanding of the layout and chapters. I really absorbed books, all the words and aspects about them always engraved themselves into my mind. 

Thanks to the strange and unintentional power to memorise all aspects of novels, I came to realise the book Draco was reading appeared different to my version of Outlander. The font resembled a totally dissimilar style and the spacing between words was bigger. Chapter titles were in italics, and a pretty border of chained leafs encircled the page. Mine didn't look like that at all, the font was less fancy and chapters titles weren't in appealing italics, nor had a pretty border of printed leafs. 

I was curious. Again.

'Curiosity killed the cat'

That's what Draco said when I asked him about it. 

But curiosity can kill me if it wishes, I need to find that book.

I walk up to the library lady, which I was yet to become known with her name. She smiles at me kindly, too nicely for a typical library woman. The ones in London were uptight, always seemed to judge your choice of books— and they loved denying me access to take five or more books home. But I ended up banned from that rather large library that brimmed with snobby old librarians. 

Why you ask? Father had a.. bad explosion of anger one morning, which I luckily avoided. I had this gut feeling that something bad was soon to happen, so I left the house at seven in the morning and sat on a bench at a park to read. Came home, four of my books were absolutely shredded. Hurried to the library in utter fear and worry, received horrible stares and gasps at the books states.

Now, which I found hilarious and it really shouldn't, I had my own little poster on the front of the library entrance door. It was a list of customers who were banned from the library. My name was written in bold, black ink with a thick underline drew under it. For months, the list remained with one name— until I walked past and saw a man sitting outside in distraught; and a second name added to the list.

I went up to him, asked if he was the name on the list and he shamefully nodded. I informed him that my name had been there for months, in which he felt sorry for me. I found out that he got banned because his disabled daughter had a fit and tore a children's lullaby book. And lord did I feel bad. So, I told him that there was a small book store down the street. 

So me, a small twelve year old, and a man about the age of forty walked to the bookstore. I always saw him there, and we exchanged smiles. 

I suppose my past with librarians isn't good at all.

"Excuse me," I say, the woman halts in her motion of sectioning the muddled books. 

"Yes, dear?" She replies sweetly, a smile appears. A smile that could warm your heart. 

"Uh— There's this romance novel called Outlander, and I was wondering if there was other versions of it?" I ask, returning her smile with a soft one myself. 

The woman thinks for a second, as though the contents in the library were engraved in her mind. 

"Ah— there's special editions, unfortunately don't have them here. Suppose in the Christmas break you could try a Muggle library?" She informs, nodding with a friendly smile on her face.

"Oh, okay thank you." I sigh.

Hm. The bloody book should not be interesting me this much. 

Maybe I could ask Draco for it? Sneak into his dorm? 

I decide to ask him for the book, considering stealing his belongings didn't appear— sensible, or trustworthy.

As I exit the library, I spot Oskar soon to walk into me but he quickly comes to a stop. "Knew I'd find you here." Oskar says, smirking. 

He was in his Quidditch uniform, small beads of sweat on his forehead with his light brown hair slightly wet— not to mention the scent of men's deodorant and sweat radiating from him. His chocolate brown eyes were on mine with glee, as though he was glad to find me. "Of course, what is it?" I question, eager to ask Draco for that bloody stupid book. "Shouldn't you be warming up or whatever?" 

"Yeah, but are you coming to the game?" He wonders, his smirk turning into a kind smile. 

I nod, "Much to my dismay."

Oskar laughs, "Why's that?"

"The aggression and brutality of determined men scares me." I admit, playfully giggling. 

"Ah," He nods in understanding, "I can see where your coming from."

Smiling sweetly, desperately trying and needing to get out of this situation so I can find Draco before the game begins. "Do you think you'll win?" I query, hesitantly start walking as I didn't want to upset Oskar— but thankfully he strolls with me.

"Have to, I wouldn't want to be six feet under. Don't think majority of the team do either." He laughs, a tone of nervousness coincided with the laugh.

I snicker, "Clearly."

He nods as he lowly chuckles.

"Um— this is a weird question, but do you know where D-Malfoy is?" I anxiously ask, not wanting Oskar to get the wrong idea.

Oskar shrugs, "Only Merlin knows the answer to that one."

I furrow my brows, "Strange. Well goodluck and I'll see you there." Smiling, hoping he'd leave now so I can finally attempt to find the blond boy.

"Thank you, and I hope so, Poppet." Oskar winks, then departs from my side and jogs down a left corridor. 

Lord. Finally.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Book. Draco's book. Must find Draco or book; where the endless thoughts that bounced around in my mind as I rushed to through the school, across common room and down the boys dormitory corridor— a lot of stares darted to me, probably wondering why I went down there. Obviously, many people were bound to get the wrong idea, but I really wanted to see the book.

I'm not entirely sure why, it might be because I never knew Outlander had special editions or other versions for that matter. I haven't seen it before, and since Draco concealed it with the Potions textbook covers; I had no idea how to even look for it. 

As I stand outside his dormitory door, knowing it belonged to him since Angel informed me. From all the thinking of wanting the novel, the thoughts that linked to Draco's probable dealings with his Father had vanished; but they had now reappeared. 

Bringing my shaky hand to the wood, I gently knock my knuckles against the hard surface. No sounds were radiating behind the door, but there is no doubt that silencing charms were casted to hide his dirty behaviour with girls. The door slowly opens, allowing me to enter before it shuts behind me lightly. 

"Jesus— Winters, the fuck are you doing here?" Draco seethes, my eyes darting to the left, whereupon he stood in front of a chest of drawers with a compartment open. 

I gulp, my eyes trailing down to the sight of his bare chest. Draco was only wearing his Quidditch trousers, and no fucking shirt. Almost immediately after I happen upon his shirtless view, his grey glare riveted on mine as he impatiently waited for my answer.

"Uh—" I stutter, unable to keep my eyes on him. Shuffling towards him, I stop beside his towering figure with roughly three feet in between us. Stupidly, my eyes wander to his arms. 

'his dad puts out cigarettes on his arms.'

Copious circle like scars scattered upon his pale forearms, mostly in the area where his arm bent. Some fainter scars were noticeable on his wrists and hands, but the marks on his forearms were darker and more dense; evidently the typical area where his Father burned him. 

"Winters, look at them and I'll fucking kill you." He hisses angrily, I dart my eyes back to his as I didn't want to annoy him before his first Quidditch match.

"Sorry." I mutter, fiddling with the hem of my stupidly short school skirt. 

Draco furrows his eyebrows at me, "What did you want?"

"Oh. Um... that book you were reading—" I murmur, but Draco cuts me off.

"Speak up." He bluntly instructs.

I clear my throat, "Outlander. The book you were reading. It doesn't look like my copy." 

Draco snickers, "You came to talk about books?"

"No, Malfoy, I came to ask for one thing." I roll my eyes, "Can I borrow it?"

"No." Draco patently replies, then strolls to the opposite side of the room. 

Annoying as I am, I follow behind him. I lean against the archway of his walk-in-robe. Lucky bastard. Draco slides the hangers back as he, presumably, searches for the rest of his Quidditch uniform. I hear his sigh in annoyance, "Why do you want to borrow it?"

"Um— I didn't know that book had different versions." I admit, my eyes watching each individual wooden hanger glide back on clothing rack. 

"Will you leave me alone if I give it to you?" Draco says, yanking his Quidditch shirt off the hanger.

"Yes." I nod, "I leave you alone anyway."

He huffs, then barges past me and almost knocks the wind out of me. "Polite." I utter quietly before, once again, following behind him. 

Draco walks over to his bedside table, where he picks up a purple covered book and turns around to meet my trailing presence. He holds it in front of me, I place my fingers and thumb around the novels edge. As I go to pull away, I realise Draco was still gripping it.

"Don't ruin it." He orders, not a single tone of friendliness audible.

I giggle, "Funny, your saying that to me."

Draco rolls his eyes, releasing his grip and allowing me to take the novel from him. "Bye bye now." He says blankly.

"Thank you!" I beam, glancing at him once more before happily skipping towards the door; admiring the book in my hands, baffled how he willingly lent it to me. I hold the novel to my chest with my left arm, then surround my hand upon the metal doorknob. Briefly, I turn around to face his cocky expression. "Goodluck— for the match." I smile, confused to why he appeared so amused and smug.

"I wouldn't skip if I knew you Winters, just got a full display of your ass." Draco smirks, my eyes widen in embarrassment.

I gulp my humiliation down, "Hope you enjoyed it." 

Turning back around, I twist the doorknob and exit his room with a second glance at him.


	12. Chapter 12

Oh my god.

The cheers of Slytherin students were engulfing my poor ears, making it impossible to even hear myself think— no doubt I would feel a monstrous headache soon.

"FUCK YES!" Ivy screams as Blaise scores effortlessly.

Ron Weasley sighs in exasperation, physically punching the air from how he practically let him get away with him.

My knee was bouncing up and down, sheer worry and nerves overpowering my timid figure.

Even though Slytherin were way ahead in scores, I still found myself in a petrified state and vomit soon to expel from the pure nerves.

Ivy informed me that Potter's a really good Seeker, and the matches where Slytherin Vs Gryffindor were always extremely tight in the scores. It usually ended with Potter catching the snitch, and god I was PRAYING he wouldn't.

Surprisingly, I hadn't cursed Potter's broom yet, nor thrown myself off the stands— because I'm sure that would induce the match to meet a forced end. But, I wasn't going to do that, so I just begged for the gods to show Draco mercy. 

"JENSJEJE DRACO IS CHASING THE GOLDEN BUGGER!" Ivy screams, her excitement was bound to finish with her falling off the audience stands instead.

"FUCK OFF POTTER! LET US HAVE THE WIN!" Angel screeches from beside me, these girls were definitely passionate about hating Potter and Quidditch.

I don't think I can watch.

Soon, I'm going to pass out, or jump off the stands, or vomit— and all those sound quite fucking embarrassing. 

I. am. worrying. myself. too. much.

"YOU LOOK REALLY WHITE, RAY!" Angel yells, I turn to face her and I shrug while holding a thumbs up at her. Angel smiles in response, focusing her eyes on the match again. 

"It's a head to head race for the golden snitch!" The person on the loudspeaker broadcasts, the crowds from all houses heightening in cheers and screams as they all sit on the edges of their seats. 

I wish I was sitting on the edge of my seat in excitement induced anticipation— but I was not. I'm stressing myself over a boy who can possibly take care of himself, but here I was; about to fucking vomit in fear. 

Daring, I look up from my lap and watch the two boys at each other's necks as they reach for the golden blur. 

I can't watch. But I have to.

Draco gets slightly ahead of Potter.

And— oh my god.

"DRACO CAUGHT THE MOTHA FUCKIN' SNITCH!!!!!" Ivy squeals, her bellowing screams had undoubtedly irritated her throat.

Relief. Utter relief.

"Draco Malfoy caught the snitch! Slytherin wins!" The commentator beams, and Slytherin goes into an uproar of cheers.

Then, the most horrible possible thing could occur— happens.

Harry bashes into Draco as he came to a halt, the two tumbling only a few feet to the grass as they were pretty low to begin with. 

No. I cannot take this anymore.

As Draco stands up and inaudibly yells something at Harry before storming off, I too start leaving and step down the stairs to escape the immensely loud environment. 

I am so relieved, honestly. Firstly, Slytherin won— the Gods had listened to me for once. Secondly, I suppose this means Draco's safe? 

Vesper never told me what would happen with his Father if he tumbled onto the grass with Potter, that seems too specific and unexpected to even know the repercussions. 

Multiple students who left early, like me, were ambling to their common rooms. Mostly Gryffindor's were scattering the halls, evidently annoyed that their team didn't win— but Slytherin needed it more, a lot more. I highly doubt winning for the sole purpose of winning meant anything to Draco, more on the lines of protecting himself and ensuring he doesn't embarrass his Father. 

Around ten minutes had passed, I had resided against the wall in a corridor that was near the changing rooms. I didn't entirely want to go to common room yet, calming down after that insane amount of nerves was definitely top priority. I leaned my back against the jagged stone wall, clutching my arms around me as it helped soothe me. I had managed to calm myself a few minutes ago, but found the silence of the halls tranquil and strangely alluring. 

Cheers and claps erupt from around the corner of the corridor I stood in, footsteps heightening in volume as well as the prideful chattering of boys. I hold my breath, watching as the few Slytherin boys turn down the opposite hall; thankfully not looking around, so I wasn't spotted. 

I sigh in alleviation, but the sound of a very angry man booms through the once quiet corridor.

'Curiosity killed the cat.'

Biting the inside of my left cheek, firmly pressing the skin with my teeth— I stupidly decide to stay where I was, seeing as if I tried to leave it would result in me being seen; there was only one way back to common room, and that was to pass the hallway the Slytherin boys came from— where the yelling is radiating from.

"Are you pathetic, boy?!" The man bellows, his voice coarse and lingering with murderous tones. "How dare you embarrass me like that!" 

I hear an incredibly loud slapping sound, my eyes widen when I realise what was happening. 

Draco won, he caught the snitch and he was still getting abused for it? 

Another ear piercing smack echoes through the halls.

Then one more...

A third is heard— more power in the sound compared to the other two.

"DONT. EVER. DO. THAT. AGAIN!" He yells, the mans raging voice sounded like my Fathers...

Fourth collision.

I couldn't take it anymore. 

Timidly, I push myself off the wall I leant on and tiptoed past the corner— being in full sight, but I was hoping they wouldn't notice. As I reach halfway across the hallway, I peer over at Draco slouching against the wall with a man crouching in front of him.

The man had platinum blond hair like Draco, it was also quite long. He muttered indistinguishable curses at Draco as I looked at them, then Draco glances up and our eyes meet. 

Fuck. 

No.

I couldn't see well from the distance, but I notice blood dripping from his nose and lip. Draco's limp appearance was weak, however his silver eyes that rested on mine were displaying anything but weak— as though he was used to it like me. His glare was emotionless, not a mere glimpse of energy or his typical cockiness was viewable. 

This is so unfair, he didn't do anything? 

Suddenly, the man that kneeled in front of Draco whips his head around— his piercing eyes of fury dart onto my shaking figure. I felt the air get sucked out of me, my heart nearly stops beating. 

"Who the fuck is that?" The man questions Draco, his evil glare still on mine. 

He stands up, immediately storms towards me in a manner that I was a vulnerable infant gazelle who had just been isolated from its mother; and Draco's Father was the huge, starving lion that lunged towards the weak gazelle. I watch in terror as he rages closer, Draco trying desperately to build strength to stand up.

"Winters. fuck." Draco mutters, managing to hoist himself to his feet. 

His Father laughs, "Winters? The fucking sickening halfblood?" He spits in absolute disgust.

My body froze as the man stops directly in front of me, his furious glower impaling me. "Why are you associating with this girl!" His Father continues hurtling loud yells at Draco, the mans intimidating glare on mine as Draco manages to reach us.

"D—Don't touch her." Draco mutters, wiping the blood from his lip with the back of his pale hand.

He looks... horrible. His jaw was a bright red, specks of greens and blues vaguely visible but would soon darken to a deep bruise. Blood slowly drips from his nose, trailing down his top lip however it didn't seem to bother him. His bottom lip was red, a small cut on the left side— it luckily hadn't made his lip swollen, only red and bloody.

"Her own Father does, what's the difference in showing a filthy inbreed that she should've simply walked away—" The man turns from Draco to me again, "Instead of looking?" 

I feel myself zone out, this was the worst possible time to detach from reality and lose my consciousness. This isn't my Father, he was used to me mentally blacking out and bearing it all— this man wasn't, he doesn't know how I react or anything for that matter. 

"Do. Not. Touch. Her." Draco spits, my eyes widening when I feel myself getting shoved backwards; pure brute force.

Stumbling back, my unwanted loss of consciousness causing me to trip over my own feet and descending to the cold, hard ground. "She's truly pathetic." He speaks, manically chuckling as I sit and bring my knees to my chest. "I'll be dealing with you, very VERY soon, Draco." He says with infuriated tones.

Heavy breathing and raging footsteps decline to nothingness, but I'm still stuck in my detachment until not a single sound emitted from the echoing hall. 

With the sound of the man totally absent from my hearing, I weakly stand to my feet and brush my down my short skirt as it rode up.

"You're fucking so stupid, Winters!" Draco seethes, I glance up to see his frustrated appearance.

"I know." I whisper, my bottom lip quivering as I lowly spoke. 

I jump from the heightened nerves when hands contact with my shoulders. "I'm sorry, Malfoy— he... he's going to hurt you.. more and it's my—my fault." 

"Shut up, Winters. I can't believe he fucking touched you!" Draco yells, his hands shifting to my jaw where he cups my face. Gently, he moves my face side to side as he intently examines me; possibly to ensure I wasn't bruised or cut.

"Wh— why.." I mutter, Draco's hands leave my face and he lazily slips them into his pockets. 

"Fucks me. Come on." He instructs while he begins strolling away.

Draco's POV

Winters was, yet again, acting as though nothing had happened. She was silently walking beside me, occasionally jogging to keep up with my faster strides. Her bottom lip wasn't quivering anymore, the normal glint in her sapphire eyes had returned. I noticed her breathing was calm now, her and I's breaths the only sounds audible in the hushed halls of the dark school. Her arms weren't surrounding herself, no longer giving herself the comfort she needed to calm her shakes and terrorised mind.

She just wandering beside me in the same way, I'm assuming, that her own Father did it to her. Winters wasn't fazed by it, she didn't utter a word of what my Father did it her— she did not seem to care. If her Father pushed me, I'd be raising hell and beating the shit out of him. However, Winters kept quiet and wasn't demanding fucking money or anything. 

It was fucking terrifying. 

She's so familiarised with it that MY Father hurting her meant nothing, as though she knew she deserved it. 

"Winters." I say, refusing to look at her as the unbothered glint in her eyes were frustrating me.

"Yes?" She softly replies, her voice wasn't even angry or distressed.

I sigh, "Why aren't you bothered by that?"

"Oh." Winters murmurs, "Father said I deserve to get hurt by people who are superior to me."

What the fuck.

I stop walking, Winters comes to a halt almost instantly after I do. She looks up from the floor, her eyes gazing at me as her eyebrows furrow in confusion. I've never seen someone so fucking clueless in my life, it irritated me that she genuinely believes what her Father says.

"What?" She questions unknowingly, her dainty hands fiddling with the hem of her skirt.

"Him doing that is considered excusable?" I look at her intensely, still not a mere display of hurt nor fury.

She nods.

"Fucking hell, Winters. That is beyond fucked up." I scoff, continuing to stroll down the dimmed hallway.

I didn't hear her light footsteps follow as I left, however they eventually became audible as she quietly met my side.


	13. Chapter 13

The Slytherin's were throwing a party, which begins in about thirty minutes. It's well timed honestly, considering the match started at four o'clock and ended at six. It was currently seven thirty, how could setting up a party take so long though?

Angel's presently cursing inaudible murmurs while she browses through her wardrobe. Her makeup was finished, which consisted of heavy mascara and a subtle eyeliner wing— but she could not decide on what to wear. She had been racking through her clothes for twenty minutes now, the duration was lengthy since she'd flop on her bed in anger before searching again. 

Ivy kept asking her why she was so irritated by it, seeing as thirty minutes was available and she shouldn't be rushing around like an escaped Azkaban prisoner. Ivy earned a cold glare from that remark, but I found it somewhat humorous. Ivy finished getting ready ten minutes ago, and I must say— she could clean up pretty well. 

She wore a black two piece set, in which was a strapless crop top and a tight pencil skirt. The material was a soft cotton, so thankfully the girl could walk with ease. Ivy didn't bother herself with makeup nor her hair, just left it with its usual pretty natural state.

I was still in my normal clothes, that appeared similar to my school uniform. A short, red pleated skirt that Ivy severed to a stupid length and a fitted, black crop top— which I wore a comfy teddy bear brown coloured hoodie over, since I wasn't accustomed to fully putting myself on show... yet. 

Draco's words were floating around in my mind, how he appeared more angry that his Father pushed me than I did. Which I don't understand, Father said I deserve it and it didn't really hurt to much. I might develop a bruise on my bum from where I landed and the force of my fall, but that's barely nothing so I'll be okay. 

'That is beyond fucked up'

"Ray, why aren't you getting ready?" Ivy asks, tilting her head to meet my gaze that I kept on the floor. 

I knit my eyebrows, "I like how I look right now." 

"Really?" Ivy raises her eyebrows at me, "You aren't conveying the message of a non-virgin."

Angel laughs, "Give her the socks."

"Excuse me?" I query them both, an expression of excitement upon Angel's defined features as Ivy sauntered towards the chest of drawers.

"The socks." Angel shrugs as though it meant nothing, "Turns any type of outfit to a insane level of non-virgin."

I snicker, "Have you lost your marbles, Angel?" 

Ivy chuckles while she walks over to me with a clump of black fabric in her hands, "Unfortunately, Angeline is stable."

"I don't understand...?" I furrow my eyes as Ivy drops them onto my lap.

"These socks practically protect you and don't at the same time." Angel looks back at me before diving into her wardrobe again.

I sigh, slipping my worn converse off my feet. Hooking my fingers under the edge of my ankle socks, I lift them off; one after the other. Bringing the long, black socks off my lap, I difficultly hoist the lengthy socks up my legs. 

"Good lord." I huff, sliding my loose black converse on again.

"It sends the message, but also brings the wrong idea." I laugh, extending my legs out in front of me as I perched on the edge of Ivy's bed. Observing the socks, I realise what Angel meant. They appeared protective but destructive at the same time. 

A/N // to help visualise 

They convey the message to Oskar, Blaise and Draco that I'm definitely not a virgin— as I did not look the tiniest bit like a prude with them on. But they also seem like I'd be drawing in boys all night, however we can hope Vesper punches them or something. 

The black socks ended past my knees, a few inches up a thighs. Honestly, I didn't look anything like myself and I'm sort of worried with how Vesper will react. I've always been her little sister, the innocent and pure one as well. Vesper wore the skin-tight dresses, the high heels, the skimpy skirts and fitted clothing; I didn't, you'd usually find me wearing hoodies, sneakers and jeans— I wasn't fond of my figure, but Ivy ensured I looked amazing.

"Damn, Ray." Angel gawks at my uncommon appearance, "I knew your style of eye makeup would match your clothing one day."

"What?" I inquisitively ask, Angel admires the white dress she took from the wardrobe.

"You have this... makeup style, that doesn't really match the whole baggy clothes attire." Ivy speaks for Angel as she bolted into the bathroom with the white dress; having eventually found the right one. 

"Oh, really?" I chuckle, finding that kind of comical.

I certainly didn't see it that way.

Ivy nods, "Yeah, but the style now suits you." 

Hm, I guess it does.

Angel struts out the bathroom, twirling gracefully in front of Ivy and I as we perched on her beds edge. Angel looked so pretty, she always seems to succeed in pulling off everything she wore. Remember how I said Angel's clothes were quite showy and eye catching? — well, she presented them in a way that didn't scream 'asking for it', more like an elegant showy display; if you know what I mean. 

The dress was simple, a plain white cotton material. It ended a few inches down her thighs, not leaving much to the imagination but she seemed to like that. The low-cut was modest compared to her other dresses, just a peak of her cleavage visible. She looked ever so attractive, if I wore the dress I would probably appear like a stripper or something; but she pulled it off amazingly. 

Maybe it was her perfect figure: curvy hips which angled flawlessly to show her smaller waist. Something I realised over the two weeks was that most Slytherin girls had perfect bodies, it made me incredibly insecure. They're all so confident, strut the halls as though they KNOW boys are gawking at them... then there's me, a little dork looking thing that either stared at the floor or observed her surroundings as I walked the halls. 

I guess being in all their presences induced a feeling of vulnerability and a sense that I didn't entirely belong in Slytherin house. In all honestly, the words 'Ravenclaw' were whizzing in my mind as the hat rested atop my head— Ravenclaws were smart, friendly and bookworms; like me. Slytherin consisted of two frequent readers, that I'm presently aware of, and they were Draco and Oskar. I was wary about Oskar, he staggered when I tried to converse about the particular book he was reading; which confused me, but then he said he reads two at a time and that shocked me. Draco though, he reads in a way he wasn't bothered of people seeing; only cared about people knowledgeable of the novel itself, that's fair though.

It's all rather confusing, I suppose. There's one Slytherin boy, who reads even if no ones looking, and that's Draco. Then Oskar, the boy who I always saw reading when I was around; if he was looking for a way to relate to me or make me feel at home, I'd rather he talked to me normally... but oh well. As well as that, Blaise seemed immensely shocked that Oskar was reading, mostly everyone was snickering at Oskar for studying with me. Oskar appeared a clear target for Slytherin jokes, however Draco was not— which is very understandable. 

Ivy stands up, smiling warmly as she clasps my hand. "Uh— Ray, take your hoodie off, yeah?" 

Furrowing my eyes at her, then peer over at Angel who plainly shrugs. "Only if your comfortable, don't feel forced too."

"Um.." I twist my mouth to the side, thinking on what to do. 

Option one: take off hoodie.  
pros — non-virgin display, look sort of pretty, grow confidence.  
cons — boys, horny boys, even more boys, the cold wrath of the dungeons temperature.

Option two: keep it on  
pros — feel safe, warm, comfy   
cons — pathetic, shy, dorky, virgin looking

"If it makes you feel better, Ivy's practically the mum of the group. Bitch could be puking her guts out and still fight off boys, hold your hair back and fetch you water." Angel laughs, slightly tugging her dress down her thighs.

Ivy rolls her eyes, "That is true."

"Okay then." I smile, grabbing the metal zip to my bear brown hoodie and levering it down. Slipping the sleeves off my arms, the cool air of the dungeons strikes my skin. "Cold." I laugh, placing my hoodie on the edge of Ivy's bed. 

Angel giggles, "You'll get used to it."

Us three head out of our dorm, the music wasn't deafening; clearly implying that it wasn't a full bash party. Which I really didn't expect it to be, if it was I wouldn't attend it— big crowds and intense loud noises makes me panic. 

Not to mention, I have heard the most terrifying and interesting things escape Angels mouth that related to Slytherin parties. It all zapped a sense of curiosity within me, slightly excited to witness them myself. 

Slytherin parties were described in three words.

cocaine,  
firewhiskey ,  
& sex 

Sounds interesting, does it not? 

Embarrassingly, I have actually never been to a teenage party. Father banned me from doing such a thing, I wasn't even allowed to attend sleepovers with NERDS I had became friends from visiting libraries so much. Insane, fucking nonsense, honestly. What's wrong with going to someone's house to read and gossip with? My only friends were Fathers fist and novels of all kinds. But god forbid Raven Winters from making REAL human friends. Father didn't want me befriending wizards as it's humiliating to the Winters heritage and myself, however Muggles doesn't fit under the wizard category in any way— they don't know I'm halfblood, all they know is that I am at libraries majority of my time. The Muggles that are typically there probably think I'm an alien or some kind, or even a time traveler for that matter.

I would go to any of the libraries in the vicinity of where I was; whether that'd be London, a small village or towns in different suburbs— like Hampshire or Cumbria. To be honest, which this is somewhat pitiful, I think I may have visited most libraries in England. Father, nor Mother, ever cared about my well-being or whereabouts, and with Vesper at Hogwarts for 80% of the year; I got terribly bored. So, I'd take a small portion of money that Vesper saved for me; Vesper always got money from Father, an insane and unnecessary amount so she gave me half. 

I would quickly transfer the galleons and sickles into Muggle money, buy a train ticket and adventure a few different towns each week. Soon, I'm hoping that I'll be able to catch the long distance trains and airplanes to travel some where beautiful— like Paris or Italy. Honestly, I probably would of already, considering there's plenty of Wizarding ways to travel the globe; but I wanted to live the experiences of lengthy train rides and fly through the air in a huge, metal vehicle while I endlessly read novels. Another problem stood in the way though, my parents reaction to when they realise I was gone, gone. They knew I left in the mornings and returned late at night, but I always came home— what if one day I didn't, and all hell breaks loose? I refuse to put Vesper or anyone else through trouble.

"Are you excited?" Angel asks keenly, a huge smile on her face.

I shrug, "I suppose. Never been to a party before."

Ivy chuckles under her breath, "They are.. fun, to say the least."

"Plus, you'll get the full conscious experience since Ves is a crazy ass protective sister." Angel laughs.

Forgot about that. I'm so excited for my first party to be simply watching everyone get shit-faced around me. Ah, the life of an overprotective sister. 

I roll my eyes, "It's a shame."

Ivy snickers, "I'd sneak you a little alcohol, but I don't want Ves snipping my fingers off."

"I wouldn't want that either." I smile, slightly allowed that I possess a cloud of big sister upon me. 

We enter the common room, it was busier than I thought seeing as Angel said it was a 'small' party. There was quite a few people, by a few I mean around forty or so. People were drinking, talking, kissing.. more drinking— it quickly become known to me that this wasn't a dancing type of party, more laid back and chat sort of thing— like the gatherings were Father would invite important business people over and mingle around; but this was like a teenage version, and a little rowdier. 

With Ivy still holding my hand, the true mother in her was showing; which was kind of cute. We walk towards where the dark leather sofa's were, noticing everyone's already here. 

Ves gives me a warm smile, patting the space beside her. Theo sat next to Ves on the right, putting Ves in the middle of the sofa. Both their eyes were glowing red, clearly high. Angel departs from my side and sits herself beside a dark haired girl on the opposite sofa, while Ivy leads me to Ves. Both Ivy and I being quite petite, we easily fit on the sofa space. 

I glance around, deciding to take in my surroundings. As I peer up from my lap, my gaze instantly meets the silver eyes of Draco. Looking inquisitively, Draco returns my strong stare while he slips a small plastic bag from his pocket. I couldn't even view what he was wearing since my eyes were so concentrated on his captivating silver gaze. He slowly opens the plastic bag, then smirks mischievously before sucking the tip of his middle finger.

My eyes widen, but still find myself unable to tear my focus from him. Draco slides his middle finger into the plastic bag, whereupon a white substance was present. Steadily, his eyes flash a glint of fascination from my curiosity as he brings his finger out from the small bag. Instantly, I feel my stomach churn when Draco cheekily winks at me. With the tip of his middle finger coated in a white powder, he places his finger amidst his bottom lip and teeth, rubbing the strange substance along his lower gums.

"Who the fuck are you?" A girls voice rips my attention from Draco, whereupon he smirks with utter amusement.

"Uh—" I stutter


	14. Chapter 14

"What? Cat got your tongue?" The dark haired girl snaps, her brown eyes piercing into mine in a slaughterous manner.

Vesper scoffs, "Watch your posh little mouth, Astoria."

Oh, this is Astoria. 

That's embarrassing... not like Draco just did that..... in front of her........ to me..

There's one thing for certain, and that's how stunningly beautiful she was; not to mention how rich she appeared too. Astoria's rich, brown hair was loosely curled with no sight of flaws or slight tangles; her chocolate tresses drape over her pale shoulders, where the view of prominent collarbones came to my attention. She had two simple gold chain necklaces around her neck, with one longer than the other with a green gem at the end. Her skin was unblemished with her pale complexion a heavenly creamy tone, the richness of her hair and her pale skin contrasts faultlessly together; as though God himself took special time and care into creating her appearance.

Her lips were plump, not a single sight of dry skin or uneven tones. A dusky rose colour tinted her perfect lips, the subtle gloss that she wore sparkles in the dim light of the common room. Flawless, groomed eyebrows which were the most perfect shape and fullness, the arch in her eyebrows was defined and sharp. It appeared she wasn't wearing much makeup, which grew a feeling of insecurity and uncomfortable within me. Everything about her was faultless, except of the evil glare she riveted onto me. Maybe, her amber eyes would of been striking too— but the bitchy glower behind them had overlooked that aspect.

Let's just play it nice, Raven, she's clearly wealthy and no doubt a pureblood— you don't want Father hearing about how you treat them normally and not like royalty. 

"I'm Raven, and your Astoria?" I smile kindly, earning baffled stares from everyone.

Astoria's eyes widen, "Raven, Raven Winters, you attended an event at my estate once."

No, we are not bringing any shit up about my unwanted presence at those gatherings.

"I saw your parents and Vesper the entire night, but only caught a glimpse of you once?" Astoria says sweetly, tones of question and inquisition were noticeable.

"Um— yeah, I don't entirely like being there..." I awkwardly reply, forcing myself to appear as nice as possible.

Astoria furrows her brows, "Why? Because your an inbreed?

I scoff, "Excus—"

"Astoria, zip it before I strangle you." Vesper interrupts me before I lashed out, effectively and efficiently too since Astoria remains quiet and I didn't lose my temper— which would of been bad.

I couldn't help but notice how Draco smirked at me the entire time that I spoke to Astoria, almost as though he was daring me to aggravate her. Clearly, I already have irritated her, however that was all Draco's fault. He's the one with the intimidating stare and weird white powder, not me.

Around three hours pass, it now being around eleven o'clock. Ivy's intoxicated.. I think? I hadn't been with her while she's drunk before, so I'm not entirely sure— but taking into consideration that she was ranting about Harry Potter and how her throat hurts from the firewhiskey; I'd say she's drunk. Angel was too, she'd be giggling at literally everything and annoying the hell out of Astoria; which she could get away with, being a pureblood and all. 

"Hey, wanna go to my dorm before everyone else?" Vesper taps me on the shoulder, her standing behind the sofa I sat on.

"Uh— sure but why?" I knit my brows, raising myself to my feet and meeting with Vesper at the edge of the sofa. 

"After the parties, we go to my dorm and hang out." She shrugs, grasping my hand and guiding me towards the girls dormitories.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Sitting myself on the grey sofa in Vesper's dorm, a dorm in which screamed favourite daughter and wealth, Vesper seats herself beside me with a metal tin in her hands. I sat where I did last time I was here, on the right side and leaning my arm on the armrest. Vesper was close against me, her jeaned thigh firmly pressing upon mine— probably since there was quite a few people coming up soon. 

Weirdly, Vesper dressed quite casual for the party. She wore a plain violet halter top, with the hem ending just above her belly button. The light washed jeans were a skinny fit and rested on her hips, showing off her curves and toned stomach— if only I looked like that. The garment that wrapped her outfit together, taking it to a level past casual was the three inch black matte heels, no doubt her feet were in utter pain.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I mostly got you up here early to save you from embarrassment." Vesper awkwardly laughs, tugging the metal lid from the rectangular tin and positioning the lid beneath it.

"What do you mean?" I question her, my eyes trailing over her motions as she leans forward and grasps the clear bong.

"You don't smoke much, these people do—" She replies, conveying me a guilty look.

I snicker, "Ves, I'm not offended."

Vesper sighs in relief, "I thought you would've been!" 

"No way, I'd rather smoke with just you anyway." I laugh, watching her pinch the muggle herb between her fingers and placing it into the brass bowl. 

A laugh emits from Vesper's bed, I shoot my eyes in that direction to see Theo dragging himself off the edge of the mattress. "The guys would attack the fuck out of you if you coughed or some shit." He chuckles, advancing over before closely sitting beside Vesper.

"I gathered that." I smile.

Vesper passes the bong towards me, which I instantly take from her. "Um— just a warning, this is Theo's weed and this asshole gets off to different strains. So it's stronger than last time." She grins with her pearly teeth, she hides a smirk after hearing Theo scoff beside her.

"I don't know what that means, but okay." I look at the two in confusion, in which Theo's eyes widen and Vesper sweetly smiles.

I bring the mouthpiece to my lips, my motion indicating Vesper to ignite the metal lighter in her hand. She presses her thumb along the trigger and a small oval flame appears, Vesper hovers to the flame atop the green herb as I start lightly inhaling.

"There are different types of weed, Ves Junior." Theo begins as I inhale the dense smoke.

As the herb engulfs a vivid orange, the appearance of a little glowing sun, Vesper takes the flame away and watches as I deeply inhale the harsh smoke.

"This wonderful strain I got— is some weird name of WEDDING GELATO." Theo continues, he beams with disbelief at the strain name.

The inflamed herb gets dragged down the stem of the bong, I take my thumb off the air hole and inhale until the bong was devoid of smoke. 

"It's strong— Junior, are you sure you haven't smoked more than once?!" Theo says in surprise, his eyes watching me as I exhale the milky smoke into the cool air of Vespers dorm. 

I shake my head side to side, "This is my second time."

Theo scoffs, "I don't believe you, missy. You've got a rebel on your hands, Ves." 

"Theo, I would know if she's smoked than once." Vesper rolls her eyes, gently taking the bong into her possession and starts to pack herself her own hit.

"Exactly." I clear my throat, trying to rid the tickling feeling in my throat. 

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

I probably should've taken Vesper's warning, which she informed me on how this weed was stronger and different to hers; Because she did not lie at all. Theo had around the same as I did, that being four hits, and we were both speaking with the aliens. 

Since I was a neglected child with the inability to experiment physically with teenage habits, I resided to the assistance of books to help my thirteen-year-old self understand 'illegal substances.' Surprisingly, there's a lot of books in the library that don't revolve around actual informational texts. I found autobiographies on past drug addicts, those books had an interesting but worrying amount of detail in them. They explained how it made them feel the first time and through to their last drug hit ever— which got sort of boring at that point; don't get me wrong though, I am proud of them but my thirteen-year-old self didn't want to enthral my focus into their rehab story. 

Nonetheless, what I'm saying is that I believe I have a pretty good understanding with drug effects and the amazing sensations that come with it— and those copious autobiographies I read were ridiculously correct. A repeating word that's printed in most of those texts was 'feeling of euphoria', which in the english dictionary defines to 'a feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness'. There wasn't a lie present in that definition, and the drug clarification is even more truthful — elation in wellbeing.

"So— when's everyone coming." I ask them curiously, my question catapults Theo into a fit of laughter. "What did I say?" Furrowing my brows at Theo, who only plunges into heavier laughter.

To be absolutely truthful, I would be bursting into laughter as well, but my throat felt so coarse and sore that if I did; I would ruin it more. Theo informed how this Wedding Gelato strain is meant to melt the muscles and elevate the mind into a blissful state. And Merlin did he explain exactly how I felt. Honestly, I might have had too much; I'm not sure if 'melts the muscles' coincides with also physically feeling as though your melting into the sofa cushions, I couldn't bring myself back from it either— the weed had literally taken over my system and descended me into a steady stop of complete relaxation.

Theo was still laughing, and resisting to laugh with him was becoming impossible. I feel myself faintly smile, pressing my lips into a firm line to stop myself, but then Theo peers at me briefly. I lost it, his stoned appearance was weirdly funny— so I start softly chuckling. 

"He's baked as a fucking cake, just ignore him." Vesper rolls her eyes, secretly hiding a faint smile.

Theo scoffs, "Rude, you are too."

Vesper whips her head around to him, "I may be, Theo, but I can control myself."

I giggle, "Yeah right." The sides of Vesper's lips perk up, then she breaks into a fit of laughter.

Soon enough, us three were chuckling amongst ourselves over absolutely nothing— but for some odd reason, it was hilarious.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

"Angel, Truth or dare." Ivy slurs, shifting her eyes to the blonde who was sitting up right as her attention lays on the game we were playing.

Vesper, Theo and I were in a state of mentally insane looking giggles and laughs for a few minutes, then calmed when everyone barged in. Ivy sat in the corner of the L shape sofa, with Angel to her right. Unfortunately for me, Draco just HAD to sit himself where I could easily see him. Astoria sat beside Angel since she didn't want Draco near Angel, leaving Blaise and Oskar next to Draco. 

Only the people who hadn't drank tonight were allowed to smoke, considering smoking weed after drinking is not a smart idea at all— apparently the effects hit quicker and harder, causing you to either throw up or pass out into a drunken slumber; and none of us wanted to look after one another. 

It's a shame, actually. Vesper, Theo, myself and Blaise were the only ones stoned and your bodies devoid of alcohol or cocaine, so it was slightly awkward with us being the only ones giggling like little children. 

"Truth!" Angel beams, looking at Ivy excitedly as she awaits her question.

Once again, my eyes were on Draco. Since I'm now floating in space while melting into the sofa, I could not control myself, he's just so interesting to look at. Not to mention what he was wearing, black slacks with an expensive looking belt, pristine condition leather and glinting silver buckles, all looped tidily into the trousers belt holds. An ironed black dress shirt with the long sleeves cuffed mid-forearm, along with two buttons undone, giving you a slight view of his pale chest— which I had accidentally already seen.

"What was your first impression of Ray?" Ivy asks questioningly, raising her eyebrows at the blonde girl who was pursing her lips in thought.

Angel hums, "Well... at first I honestly thought Satan was screwing with me, cus' Ves can be a lil mean and I was terrified of there being a mini her." 

Vesper scoffs, "Angeline!"

"What?!" Angel shrieks in shock, "It's called truth for a reason!" She receives an annoyed stare from Vesper before continuing. "Anyway, I thought she was really fucking hot. Like, have you seen her?!"

My eyes widen as everyone's eyes land on me, "Merlin."

Angel laughs softly, "So, mostly scared and thought she was hot."

"Yeah— thanks, Angel." I smile, concealing my brewing embarrassment from their eyes examining me. Angel blows a kiss in response, making me giggle.

The game goes on for a few minutes, and Astoria had been glaring at me the entire time. I was petrified that if I didn't smile or do something kind, that she'd bitch to her wealthy parents. She truly had the appearance of murder written all over her. 

"Your turn, Ray, Truth or dare." Astoria says in a sweet candy like tone, she's up to something.

"Truth." I reply, compelling myself back from lunging at her. 

"Hm... why do you share a dorm with two girls, while Vesper gets one to herself." She asks nicely, I blink blankly at her.

I roll my eyes, "I wanted to dorm with people. What's wrong with that?" 

Astoria snickers, "Really?" 

"Yes, really." I sneer, "How about you have a turn, yeah? Truth or dare?"

She furrows her brows in an investigational manner and evilly narrows her eyes at me. "Truth."

"How's that worn, grandma pussy going for you?" I snap, inducing everyone to gasp or widen their eyes. 

I notice Draco smirk, finding it impossible to restrain it back. 

"You bitch!" Astoria shrieks, "Are you fucking jealous or something?!"

Angel begins uncontrollably laughing, probably soon to piss her pants.

I scoff, "Why would I be jealous?"

This was possibly a bad idea— actually, it is definitely a bad idea. But she's seriously bothering me, she was practically pushing it all night. Not once did I see a friendly expression on this girl, I'd look over at her and boom— an angry, posh and rich bitch glaring at me.

"I don't know, maybe because you have been eyeing Draco all night!" Astoria narrows her eyes even more, if that was possible, with her top lip faintly twitching.

"Can you blame me?" I snicker, then immediately slap my hand over my mouth.

Astoria's eyes widen in sheer infuriation, "Excuse me?!"

Weirdly, this is entertaining. I don't think I have ever pissed anyone off before, intentionally of course. A raging fire was visible through her wrathful glare, with a cloud of judgement to my decision creating a film over her eyes.

"Draco!" Astoria turns to him, in which Draco instantly drops the smirk from his face, "Tell me why you and her came to commons together! Don't ignore me this time!!" 

Draco snickers, "Fucking hell, woman. We are not together."

The girl was basically breathing fire at this point, where I would be subjected to the frontline of her exploded fury. "Are you with her then?" Astoria sneers, "You are awfully friendly to her in comparison to others."

"You think I'd fucking get with her?" Draco raises his eyebrows at Astoria.

I don't entirely want to hear to rest of this.

"A halfblood? you are insane." He rolls his eyes, steadily his glance shifts to me. I noticeably gulp, my hand still slapped across my mouth to stop myself from blurting anything else.

Astoria growls, "I'm sure you're Father would love to hear about this, don't you?"

I abruptly stand up, staring at her blankly before smiling sweetly. Walking to the dorm door, everyone incredibly quiet from shock. I place my hand on the cold metal doorknob, then thoughtlessly turn around to face them.

"Go on, Astoria, it wouldn't be the worst he's heard." I flip her off, still with a friendly smile on my face. 

Then I twist the doorknob, exit the room and close the door calmly. 

Stupid bitch doesn't deserve the satisfaction of knowing she bothered me.


	15. Chapter 15

'are you asking for a death wish?'

Vesper and I had little argument on Saturday night, she chased right after me when I left the dorm. To say she was disappointed would be an understatement, Vesper had been bustling with fear and paranoia brew inside her as she spoke about how stupid I was. Of course, Vesper's right, it was stupid of me to fire back at Astoria; but I couldn't stop myself. I've never talked back at someone before, sometimes I make a snarky comment to Draco after he irritates me, but never back chatted. 

Weirdly, it felt relieving. To be frank, though, I wasn't really angry about anything— mostly bothered. If I were to be sober, I would've kept my mouth shut— alas, I was higher than the fucking moon and I felt like hurtling words back at her. 

No one entirely cared, actually no one gave a flying pigs ass that I insulted Astoria— they were mostly bothered by how it was the first time I WASN'T silent. They all thought I broke, Angel believes that the demon Lucifer had possessed me— but I assured her it was Astoria's snobby face that triggered me, which Angel actually believed. Nonetheless, I didn't really care that I clapped back at her; my thoughts in this situation pointed more towards that I practically blurted out how I found Draco attractive. What is literally wrong with me?!

Maybe I did get possessed, however not by Lucifer or Satan, none of the demons from hell; instead the fucking hormone monster? Somewhat, I'm glad I said it— proved to them that I do indeed think about boys, making it slightly believable that I'm not a virgin. Angel was proud of me, so was Ivy— they were just worried that Astoria would tell her parents, but I sadly don't care.

"Hey..." A coarse voice emits from beside me, I glance up and find Oskar awkwardly standing with a book in his hands. 

"Oh— Hi." I smile, still completely humiliated by what I stupidly said about Draco.

It was Tuesday now, fourth period. Which, thankfully, meant time to myself. Honestly, I had earned a lot of free time during the past two days. After Saturday night, no one really bothered me on Sunday, except for Angel who was still jumping with joy and proud of me; but other than that, I had been left alone. Oskar hadn't asked to study nor approached me, which is strange considering he never left me alone— but here he was.

"Do you wanna— uh, do Potions homework with me?" He asks, his lips in a firm line. 

I nod, "Where abouts?" 

Oskar hums in thought, "Back of library? Less students."

"Sure." I smile, draping my bag over my shoulder and gathering up my Arithmancy research into a pile, then slip the parchments in my bag. 

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Oskar and I were roughly halfway through with the Potions homework, he assured that he didn't need much help, but wanted to complete it with me so I could skim over his answers before he hands it in. 

"Saturday... weird night." Oskar chuckles, dropping his quill on the wooden desk lazily. 

I sigh, "Unfortunately."

"Why did Astoria threaten you with your Father?" He asks, immediately making my eyes widen. 

Twisting my lips to the side, I carefully situate my quill on the desk as well. "He wants me to turn out as the good child, since Ves failed in keeping a clean report card."

Oskar shakes his head while lightly chuckling, "That makes sense— are you annoyed at all?"

I roll my eyes, "Nope, mostly kicking myself for what I said about Malfoy."

"Oh yep... bloody git boasts about it." Oskar smirks, his deep brown eyes skimming over my frame.

"Of course he is." I scoff, not even surprised honestly. 

He shrugs, "Got Astoria off his back though, she finally realised that they were over."

I giggle, "I expect a thank you from him, then." 

Oskar snickers with a subtle laugh, "Goodluck, missy."

We end up finishing the Potions homework relatively quickly, it was a one side parchment with a few multiple choice and long answer questions— on the topic of Amortentia. (Which I think might be what the the essay is about.) I actually know quite a lot about Amortentia, that shouldn't be a surprise honestly, and I'm excited to hear about what the assignment is. Considering it's only the third week, most classes were on brief topics, discussions and note taking— so soon to be finally assigned a research essay, which I couldn't wait for. 

At home, during my five years of home schooling and tutoring, I got assigned assessments and essays almost immediately. There wasn't much practice days, where my tutor would actually discuss my tasks— he'd always give me my assignment work sheets and a insane stack of school textbooks, I suppose he was alright for a home teacher... he just never taught like the Professors at Hogwarts. We never usually talked, only when I had a question; he always seemed to dislike me, for unknown reasons, but had to oblige to nicely helping seeing as my Father told him too. No, Father didn't do it because he wanted me to have a future or whatever— he said I was stupid and all that. And— before I got home schooled, I'd always ask for educational books, so Mother and Father got sick of me; my tutor essentially got me out of their hair.

Oskar and I were friendly talking, which I was mentally kicking myself over— I promised Ivy I would only be acquainted with him, but here we fucking were; talking about ourselves, mostly Oskar was, I just listened. 

"Remember how I said you interest me, Winters?" Oskar smirks, slouching back in his chair and fiddling with his green and silver tie.

"Yes, in which I asked you not to." I tear a page from my back, hardback notebook.

Oskar chuckles lowly, "Can't help it, you're fascinating..."

I, stupidly, laugh in surprise, "Sorry— what makes you find me fascinating?" 

"Firstly, you have a thing for laughing at me." He starts, I softly laugh under my breath as I begin to write the address of my favourite library, in which is located in Wales.

Even though I'm currently in the presence of Oskar, a different boy is on my mind, and it's frustrating. Being the dorky bookworm I am, I examined the novel that he willingly leant to me— and let me tell you, it made everything much more confusing. I couldn't spot a publish date, where it was printed, or fucking anything that would clarify what this book was or where the bloody hell he got it. Like, what novel or any kind of printed text doesn't have that information? So, I am deciding to send a letter to a library, and this library has all versions of all books known to mankind. 

"Secondly, you're so... different." Oskar shrugs, making me whip my head up from my letter and peer up him with confusion. "In a good way, silly."

I smile, "You're different too."

Oskar furrows his brows, "How?"

"You are the only Slytherin boy that I've seen reading, besides Malfoy." I shrug, neatly jotting the date on the top left of the page.

"You've actually... inspired me to read more." Oskar admits charmingly, I awkwardly smile as the words I was looking for had vanished. 

Suddenly, his fingers coast the side of my face, starting at my temple then softly brushing my brown hair behind my ear. Omg a boy is touching me, as pathetic as it sounds— I've never kissed anyone, not even gone through the experience of drunkenly make out with your girl friends, nor held hands with a boy; it's shameful, I know. Oskar's fingers trail along my jawline, then reaches beneath my chin. He gently tilts my head up and to the side, making me meet his brown gaze that has a glint of anticipation behind them. My breathing quickens, Oskar leans in steadily while he waits for me to pull away or say no— but I couldn't?

Our lips meet, only for a few seconds until his hand parts from my face and draws himself back. Oskar smirks, then stands up and places him hand on my shoulder. "Little liar, Raven, I knew you were a virgin." He winks cheekily before lugging his bag over his shoulder, then strolling out of the library. 

Um— what?!?!

What. just. happened.

My first kiss was Oskar? A boy who I'm meant to stay away from?

What  
The  
fuck  
is   
wrong   
with   
me.

"Hello." A sweet, serene voice radiates from behind me. With my eyes still wide from shock, I peer up to the electric blonde haired girl who stood in front of me. 

She has a pretty smile upon her pale face, with a sight of subtle dimples on her faintly blushed cheeks. Her iris's are an angelic crystal blue that beam white glints from the suns rays, easily comparable to sparkling jewels of sapphires and white topaz. The smile on her celestial face seemed to never leave her, she truly looked like a happy girl. I glance at her uniform, a blue tie, Ravenclaw.

"Hey." I smile, blinking away the strange and unexpected situation that just happened a few seconds ago.

"I'm Luna, Luna Lovegood," Luna beams, her eyes twinkling in the sun light and artificial library lamps, "Ivy has told me about you, I couldn't wait to finally introduce myself."

Her excitement and tranquil energy is baffling, I've never met such a girl with a bubbly personality of this type. 

Luna rocks on her feet steadily, "Every Tuesday, myself and a few people meet up at Gryffindor commons— would you like to come? There's always room for another friendly face."

You know, maybe I should. I only hung around Ivy and Angel, what's the harm in making more friends?

I nod, "Don't see why not." 

Luna smiles gleefully, "Shall we get going?"

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

I sat on the scarlet sheets of a girls bed, her name being Hermione Granger. She was quite sweet, considering Angel mentioned her to me— called her an annoying version of me, Merlin knows what that means. I assumed it had something to do with intelligence or books, as the copious stacks of novels and textbooks on her desk was quite absurd— you'd think someone would of bought her a bookcase by now. Luna had explained that the boys that usually came were stuck in a detention with an evil man and his cat, which his name was Filch— or something like that. They assured I wouldn't want to become habitual with his presence, seeing as he wasn't the nicest of people. 

So, with the bodies of no boys; Hermione Granger, Luna, Ginny and myself all sat comfortably on Hermione's bed. Luna and I seated on the end, with Ginny and Hermione leaning against the oak headboard. Apparently Ivy was meant to attend, but got caught up with Angel.

"So, Raven is it?" The redhead says friendlily, her eyes on the chessboard that situated between her and Luna— playing an intense game of Wizards chess.

"Yeah, but mostly go by Ray," I smile, "Ivy came up with it, seems like the only name I hear now."

Hermione chuckles warmly, "It suits you well, however, would've suited you a lot better if you were in Ravenclaw."

"Would've been quite ironic, honestly." I admit, watching Luna take out Ginny's last knight piece.

Luna clears her throat softly, "Ray, I promise to not tell a soul, neither will Hermione and Ginny— but I must know, why did you kiss Oskar Argento?" 

I immediately feel my throat tighten, drawing in my bottom lip from humiliation and quickly trying to wrap up a knowledgeable answer. "Um... it just happened."

"Be careful, okay? We've seen multiple girls get their hearts ripped out from associating with those Slytherin boys, especially Oskar and Draco." Ginny glances up, conveying an expression of worry and assurance. 

I twist my lips to the side, "Oskar and I are only study partners, I don't know why he did that."

Hermione groans in annoyance, "I can't keep it from you, Ray."

"Hermione." Luna warns the brunette, but she simply shakes her head in disapproval.

"I'm aware you know of Harry, Harry Potter?" Hermione raises her dainty eyebrows, I nod in response. "He heard.. heard a group of boys talking about you."

"Oh, let me guess, they were Slytherins?" I knit my eyebrows, all three of them shake their heads side to side. 

Ginny sighs, "You've made quite an impression on a few boys."

I roll my eyes, "That's Ivy's fault."

Luna softly laughs, "Of course, she explained it to us."

"Then... why are you telling me this?" I question them, growing more confused by the millisecond.

"They were talking about a little rumour that... your the opposite of your sister." Ginny clarifies, smirking in the direction of Luna as she takes out Luna's protection pawn. "Look, you are a mini Vesper Winters. You have the looks, but not the crazy attitude... and your single." 

"Yes, we're mostly saying be careful— boys can be bloody ridiculous and act like territorial wolves at times." Hermione watches the suspenseful game between Luna and Ginny, her eyes appearing as if she's memorising their moves.

I snicker, "I am not that weak, guys. Just— more shy compared to Ves."

Luna glances at me, her sweet features dropping as though they had offended me. "Oh! We never meant to hurt you, just a warning."

Ginny nods, "Exactly, and your invited to our eventful Tuesday nights."

"It's usually more interesting than this, Ron and Harry always have a go at each other— rather fun to watch." Hermione giggles, peering up briefly from the chessboard to my gaze. "Plus— we should study sometime, no doubt that in a couple of weeks you'll take Malfoy's second place ranking."

I furrow my brows, "Who's first?"

"Granger." Ginny scoffs, shooting her a playfully bothered glare. 

Draco's POV

"Easy." Oskar says while he barges into my dorm, ambling over to where Blaise and I were seated on my sofa. 

Blaise gasps, "Did you fuck her?"

"Not yet, soon though, very soon." He smirks with pride, sitting himself beside Blaise. "Kissed her though."

"That practically means nothing now, she's not a virgin." Blaise snickers, gliding his thumb over the lighter trigger before letting go and igniting it again.

Oskar scoffs, "She lied."

Honestly, if Winters wanted them to believe her— she should do a fucking good job at it. Oskar is dense, he buys everything you say without a ounce of doubt. If he manages to catch you in a lie, then you're pretty useless at lying; expect Winters wasn't, she's kept her Father a secret, her whole home life that she conveyed was riddled with lies— everyone accepts what she says as true, then moves on. 

How hard is it to pretend your not a virgin? She's already got success in the full whore appearance, with her fucking tiny skirts and fitted shirts— after Saturday night, no matter how hard I tried, Winters curious eyes would not leave my mind. Astoria was sincerely correct when she said Winters was eyeing me all night, but it was interesting so I didn't call her out on it. She would innocent sit there, then occasionally wander her eyes across everyone— they'd skim over me briefly, but soon travel back to me.

I'm surprised no one else saw it, however they definitely know it happened now. 'Can you blame me?' the words left her mouth so effortlessly and calmly, weed clearly caused her thoughts to muddle up and blurt whatever was on her mind— it's amusing, nonetheless, seeing her realise her mistake and the shock of it ripping her back to a sober conscious.

"You should've seen the way she reacted, she went silent." Oskar shrugs.

Blaise laughs, "Reckon by the end of the week you'll get her?"

"Of course." He rolls his eyes.

good fucking lord.


	16. Chapter 16

"Does anyone know the what Chaldean Numerology is based on?" Professor Vector, the Arithmancy Professor, announces her question to the class.

To my utter surprise, Arithmancy is so much more exciting at Hogwarts than it is at home; well every subject is better than home schooling. Arithmancy at home was reading countless textbooks and memorising every single number chart in them— and let me tell you, having the knowledge that the letter A has different values in dissimilar charts was ENGRAVED into my mind. 

Not only that, but the Professor for this subject actually engrossed the class into public discussions frequently. In the past two weeks, we have had copious conversations on numbers and how they correlate with the universe— it's all quite interesting, even though I typically don't enjoy mathematics all that much. 

I slowly raise my hand, to which Professor Vector immediately notices and nods. "Simply, it's based on the fact that everything is destiny. But Chaldean Numerology is based on principles, that the Universe is built by vibrations, and that everything is vibrations that vibrate with different frequencies." I watch the middle aged woman's eyes widen after I finish speaking, as well as most of the students. 

Glancing to my left, Ivy's chocolate eyes were widened with absolute captivation and shock. "Oh! You must continue, Miss Winters." Professor Vector beams, the excitement within her displaying drastically on her heightening smile. 

"Uh— Well, each frequency attracts its equal; like balanced and balanced, then unbalanced and balanced." I'm incredibly confused as to why everyone's looking at me in a way that I cured a deadly disease, but I decide to continue on. "Our destiny is dictated by the vibrations, which is the final number from our full birth date and our legal name."

Professor Vector claps, "I must know, Miss Winters, we've not touched base on Chaldean Numerology. How do you know so much?"

Merlin, I must look like such a nerd.

"I like to read..." I admit, awkwardly flickering my eyes across the multiple students, an expression of interest and surprise clouding their faces.

"Of course, of course." Professor smiles sweetly, then grasps the students focus and begins explaining this lessons topic. 

"Dork." Draco mutters from beside me, I roll my eyes and choose to ignore him.

I think, for the first time ever, Professor Vector allowed the class to concentrate on individual work with the permission of quiet talking— on the topic of Arithmancy, obviously, not what your doing later tonight or gossip. Professor instructed us to calculate our full name to reach the knowledge of our destiny number, by using the Chaldean Table. It was rather easy, Ivy and I quietly partnered together to complete ours.

Throughout the evening of last night and today's morning, my mind kept darting to Oskar and the little get together I had with the two Gryffindor's and Ravenclaw. To be honest, I thought my friendship with students would remain in the vicinity of Slytherin house— but boy was I very wrong. Luna seemed incredibly ecstatic to be becoming close with another Slytherin, Ivy being her sole friend from the house, and as well glad that I understood the whole 'insane, territorial boys of Hogwarts'. I probably shouldn't, however it was rather hilarious to me— boys wanting to get with me because I'm a nice version of Vesper? Come on, that's funny.

Hermione Granger, she appeared scarily fond on Draco descending to third ranking— apparently having him below her made his presence even more known to her; I don't think she likes him, at all. She can't wait to study with me, said she's always free to talk about things or simply sit together and read quietly— which I guess I'm keen for too, I haven't really found someone as fond of books as me and I could do with other friends.

The redhead, Ginny Weasley, she's a rather... bold character. I suppose, she gives off Vesper vibes, but takes a kinder route compared to Vesper. In addition, she seems to have a liking to Harry, which they apparently both like each other, so I'm not entirely sure why they haven't acted on it yet. 

"So... my destiny number is six." I inform Ivy while I quickly jot down my working out.

Ivy grins before skimming her eyes over the textbook, "Okay! That means..." 

Then, Draco scoffs, "You believe in this shit."

Sighing deeply to compel my annoyance for this stupid blond, I turn my focus to the right to see Draco with the expression of utter doubt. "It's actually been scientifically proven, Malfoy." 

He raises his eyebrows, "Is that right?" 

"Yes, it is." I smile sweetly, "Would you like my dorky brain to explain why? Or will it ruin your ego."

Draco blinks blankly at me, then rolls his eyes with irritation and lays the side of his head on his arms— clearly going back to his civil sleeping state, which I'm not arguing with; he's nicer when he sleeps and isn't fully conscious.

I huff, facing Ivy again. "You may carry on."

Ivy giggles softly, "So— Six stands from comfort, the homeliness, meaning they are slow movers and very stubborn." Ivy shuts her mouth in fear from my shocked expression, lips slightly apart and my brows furrowed. "Don't attack me, Ray, your positives are charming and trustworthy." I visibly view the brunettes tan face drop, "I don't even want to hear mine, they really bloody attack you."

"What does it say? I'm curious." I ponder, to which Ivy's lips shift into a firm line; possibly in an apologetic way.

Draco chuckles lowly, again I look at him. His eyes were still closed, an appearance of serenity, it's a shame his mouth is the opposite. "Curiosity killed the cat, Winters."

I sigh, "It. can. kill. me. then." Turning to Ivy, once more, she rolls her eyes and directs them to the page again.

"Sixes are skilled in manipulation and in using their charm for personal gain." Ivy snickers.

"What in the world." I scoff, "Like to see the day when that happens."

Ivy laughs, "You must tell me if it does, even if we're like old woman— now, what's mine?" 

Taking the textbook from Ivy, seeing as I had to borrow hers. Father refused to buy me my own, so I was given Vesper's old ones— and the girl doesn't take Arithmancy at all, nor N.E.W.Ts.

Dragging my finger along the page, stopping one the number one. "One means desires freedom and abundance, they have a strong winner mentality in order to gain success." I shrug, somewhat jealous that Ivy's is relatively true.

"Ooo, let's hear more." Ivy smiles, evidently joyful with her destiny number meaning.

"Dislike sloppy people and people without ambition—" I continue, then the words of wisdom escape the blond boy again.

"Explains why you like me better than Argento, doesn't it Ivy?" Draco snickers, causing both Ivy and I to reply with a yes, to ensure we didn't ignore him and initiate a Draco Malfoy temper tantrum.

I proceed, "Creative and very perfectionist." I scoff with annoyance as I read her negative aspect before verbally saying it. "This is ridiculous, your negative is 'hard time dealing with problems because they want their success to flow easily."

Ivy laughs quietly, "You unlucky duckling, Ray, there's other paragraphs that explain them. I'll read those." 

"Please do." I roll my eyes in irritation, my destiny number had literally shown that I'm manipulative and flirty, however Ivy's was trouble dealing with problems. 

Little unfair, think the universe has it out for me? What if I come across a boy who's into all this universe stuff, and then he finds out what my Chaldean destiny number is? He would no doubt leave me without a word uttered.

Strangely, I wanted to know what Draco's destiny number was. Since he obviously didn't give a flying shit about all of this, surely he can't get enraged by something he doesn't believe? Clearly, Draco was thinking the same thing as his wanted self speaks again. 

"Can you do mine after? I worked it all out and shit." He requests, but it sounded much more like an order— just his sleepy voice made it appear vaguely nicer than usual.

"Of course." I reply, thankfully Draco goes back to mister silent.

"Wow, Ray, apparently your a loving person with a romantic image." Ivy cheekily smiles at me, I roll my eyes playfully. "You want to be the ideal person for your family."

I feel the wind essentially get knocked out of my lungs, "Yikes, carry on."

Ivy hums as she scans her eyes to where she was up to, "You have a deep affection and sense of responsibility for your future spouse." She glances up for a moment, then advances. "You're confident, tolerant and have a very magnetic personality."

"Huh— interesting." I shrug, "What's your number, Malfoy?"

"Nine." Draco replies, resting his elbow on the desk and propping his chin upon his palm— his silver eyes fixated on mine with interest and to imply he's waiting.

Ivy slides the book in front of me, my eyes immediately meet the number nine as it's at the bottom of the page— since it's the final single number; Chaldean numerology travels to compound, but they're quite pointless and just lead to your single number.

"So... nine are meant to be the enforcers of Karma and justice." I begin, Draco's fascinated stare remains on my eyes as I start to read his destiny number. Even though I wasn't looking at him back, considering I don't own eyes on the side of my head and can't read while looking at him; but his stare feels physical, like you can genuinely sense his eyes on you— it's terribly intimidating.

"Continue, Winters." He says bluntly, halting me from reading ahead.

I huff quietly, "Nine are focused on justice, integrity, and honour— meaning they are very frank and speak their mind without a filter."

"No lie there." Ivy chuckles.

"Most nines have had a tough childhood, but meant to see the bigger picture in life." I timidly say, knowing quite a lot about his childhood, but Draco keeps quiet and lets me continue. "They are very determined to get what they want, can be rather impulsive, they share a few qualities with number six." 

"I wanna read some." Ivy pouts, I slide the textbook to the left to allow her to read. "Gosh— Malfoy, your relationships and negatives are scary."

Draco snickers, "I sure hope so." 

Ivy rolls her eyes, "Keep their heart hidden from others, so it's a challenge to find out what you mean to them."

Oh yikes..

"No killing me, okay Draco?" Ivy warily queries him, in which he faintly nods in agreement. "Can be condescending and arrogant, even apathetic towards the suffering of others."

Merlin. 

"Can be cruel and completely untouchable, since it's easy for nines to fall to the dark side— they can become vindictive and malicious." Ivy finishes, quickly glancing up as she fixes her brown eyes on the boy.

I'm not sure if he's broken, but he isn't doing much talking nor evil glaring. Honestly, most of what it reads is scarily correct. "Why didn't you two say your 'dark sides', bit unfair?" Draco raises his eyebrows, to which Ivy mutters curses under her breath and glides the textbook across my desk and to Draco's. "Okay, Ivy yours is one, right?" He asks her, his voice still unfamiliarly calm. Draco flicks through a few pages, then comes to a stop and skims his eyes over the textbook page contents.

"Can be demanding, jealous and confrontational." Draco starts, he momentarily takes a glimpse to view our baffled expressions from his weird tranquility. "This is unfair, yours has barely anything on negatives."

Ivy plainly shrugs, "Try Ray's then."

"I don't think I can handle that, Ivy." I scoff, but it was too late and pointless since Draco immediately flicks through the pages.

"Six; most harmonious of the numbers, but when it's out of balance it can be one of the most terrifying." Draco quietly laughs, sharing a brief glance at me then shifting his focus back. "Sixes have to be careful, as they're very caring and tend to make sacrifices for others— they may end up as a doormat for the wrong people."

Ivy snickers, "Who are a doormat for, Ray?" I laugh and shrug.

"Ah— the interesting shit; can be jealous, small-minded, self-righteous and a bit smug." Draco goes quiet, however remains reading as I watch his eyes move in the direction of the words. A minute or so later, he softly chuckles and slides the textbook in front of me. "Have a little read of that, Ray."

For some weird reason, my breath hitches from hearing Draco whisper my name; my new nickname to be more exact. It's sending a kaleidoscope of jittery butterflies throughout my stomach and spreading to my heart. I clear my throat to free my mind of his voice, then enthral my eyes on the passage he nonverbally read.

I didn't prepare myself for this, keeping quiet about announcing a few of his negatives was probably a silly idea— and Ivy speaking some as well; but either way, what I was about to read may wind me again.

'Because they have a terrible judge of character and are very self-sacrificing all too often they are used and abused by people who just weren't worth their time.'

'While the six is certainly the most harmonious of the numbers, beware of not giving them the attention the secretly crave. If you don't acknowledge their help in your life be prepared to have them turn on you, often viciously. When hurt and angry the six can be one of the most destructive of all the numbers!'

Draco snickers, "Most destructive of all numbers, huh?"


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW — rape!

Maybe, I took the meaning of my destiny number to harshly. I mean, it basically informed me on how ridiculously caring and compassionate I can be— which are wonderful traits to have, but I feel like the 'dark side' of my destiny number was exaggerated; slightly, a tiny bit.. actually I suppose it just put it in a truthfully accurate way. Besides, Draco's dark side was just as shocking as mine; his being practically all right, even the positives. Nevertheless, I only spent the remainder of the day pondering on it— and today was Thursday, meaning a new day to worry about something different.

I had sent off the letter yesterday night, the one to the library in Wales. Don't fret though, I gave clear instructions for them to drop the package at a families mansion that was down the road from my residence, seeing as if I wrote 'Hogwarts' I'm sure they're be incredibly confused. The family that lives in the estate near mine were superbly friendly, supposedly a safe house in a way.

Typically, if things at home got to the point of Vesper fearing for her own safety; her and I wouldn't think twice before making her way to their home. The family there are more like a kind old couple, whose children are grown up and have lives of their own, so their current children are the two cats they own— very expensive breed of cats as well, Ashera's. Honestly, they are kind of scary, being that they weigh around thirty pounds and quite big for a cat. But, they're incredibly cuddly and the couple breed them for a living, since the price tag on them is roughly $12,000 (£24,000?)

Unfortunately, I am presently alone, once again, as my inability to study two electives strikes. To make matters worse, Ivy's tutoring a third year Slytherin, so I'm left to fend for myself. Sometimes, it's okay, I can breathe and take in the silence of being by myself, but then it's rather boring. However, now having the possession of Draco's mysterious novel, at least I have something interesting to do. Also, when I read I practically become consumed by the printed words of novels and lose all sense of time— so it's pretty difficult to get bored while reading.

Within the past thirty minutes, I have read through five chapters and the mystery of the novel was unraveling; it's a rewritten version, which I wasn't even known of its existence. The chapters were drastically longer, with extra time and effort put into every tiny aspect of the book— that explains why it's thicker than my version of the book. 

"Winters." A husky voice tears me from my riveted focus on the captivating words, my heartbeat thuds rapidly from the abrupt presence. The screeching of a chair and a clear of a throat, I carefully situate my hand upon the page I'm currently on and look up. (keeping my hand there as I wasn't allowed to damage the book, so no corner folding bookmarks.)

Draco, of course it's him.

"Afternoon." I reply, thoughtfully flipping the book open and continuing my reading.

"Did you actually fucking kiss him?" Draco seethes, my eyes widen immediately as I processed his words all within a brisk millisecond.

I gulp, "I didn't initiate it."

"Look at me." He unexpectedly extends his arm to my lap, where the book is, then lightly shuts the cover over my fingers— his motion no where in comparison to his frustrated voice. Deciding to obey to his stupid demands, which he expects everyone to abide by, I glance up to look at him. Clearly, he's in a bad mood and I don't want to push it; he's impulsive, remember, and extremely unpredictable.

"He knows." Draco bluntly informs, his eyes clouded with aggravation.

I furrow my brows, "Knows what?"

"That your a virgin, are you deficient?" He rasps, his aggression causing my face to drop.

"Well," I purse my lips in thought, "He's nonsensical."

Draco scoffs, leaning back in his chair and gliding his tongue along the side of his cheek before he parts his lips slightly, then exhales a rough breath. "What? So you don't care?" Draco questions, his voice dripping with tones of judgement and astonishment.

"I can't really do much about it, you know and haven't told anyone." I shrug, growing more and more nervous from his strong glare. 

He smirks, "You just admitted it."

I roll my eyes in annoyance, "I— you didn't believe me from the start."

"I know," Draco snickers, "Why'd you lie?"

"No particular reason." I retaliate innocently, attempting to be rid of his intimidating presence soon.

Draco lowly chuckles, shaking his head steadily in utter disbelief. "Little bit of a slut, are we? What's next, you going to fuck him?" 

I gasp in shock, "In what world did I ever give the impression that I'd do that!"

He sends me a condescending glare, "Whatever, if you fuck him that's just pathetic on your part. Didn't think you'd ever lower your standards, but you will lose all the slight respect I shamefully have for you."

I smile, "Aren't you an absolute gem." 

Being sarcastic was the wrong path to go, Draco's usual light argentine eyes were now shrouded in an unnerving darker colour; as though his anger and aggravation is visibly noticeable from just his eyes. To be frank, it is quite, actually, very terrifying. Its appearance is drastically different to other times, as if I truly whacked a trigger button this time around. 

The powerful glare of his maintains on my fearful stare for a considerable amount of time, too stupidly long for that matter. I felt like withering away into the breezing wind in the atmosphere or cowering into a little hole in the ground, just to escape his piercing glower. If I were to think on a absurd level, I would say he's attempting to read my mind and try to decipher me.

Draco scoffs after what seemed like hours of being subjected to his murderous glare, then he stands and storms off without looking back. What just happened?

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

As I'm about to enter common room, having just murmured the vile password of pureblood and choosing to skip dinner, a kinder voice of a friendlier Slytherin boy radiates behind me with the sound of swift footsteps. Smiling as I wait for the brown haired boy to meet my side, I open the appeared door of commons and walk in with him close behind.

"Why were you running?" I question him, steadily ambling towards the entrance of the girls dormitories corridor.

Oskar breathes heavily for a few seconds, resting his hands upon his knees as he catches his breath. "Professor McGonagal is making me redo a test, says if I fail it I can't do N.E.W.Ts for transfigurations."

"Damn, that's annoying." I smile awkwardly, observing how nicely quiet the common room is with the lack of students.

"And you weren't at the Great Hall, guess I was worried." Oskar shrugs, then stands up straight and readjusts his slack tie. "Would you mind quickly quizzing me or some shit?"

I twist my lips to the left in thought, "I suppose so."

His face lights up with glee, and a glint of something else but I'm not quite sure what. "Can we do it in my dorm? I don't want to get distracted." 

"Okay." I agree, faintly sighing in annoyance under my breath. I was hoping for some peace and quiet, but that will obviously have to wait. Oskar nods his head in the direction of the boys dormitories before sauntering off, whereupon I instantly stroll behind him.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

We were sitting on the end of his bed, him quite comfortable and me not so much. I felt sort of ashamed that I was being so awkward, seeing as I'm in a boys dorm for the first time— Draco doesn't really count, it was for under five minutes and I have been in Oskar's for fifteen. I had ran over most of the topics on the entrance test for N.E.W.Ts, considering I took them myself, so I have a very clear idea on what's on the exam. 

I explained each spell that's on the test and define what you need to know, truly don't think I've ever put this much effort into helping someone pass an exam, but I have now; I suppose. 

My mind endlessly trekked back to the words Draco seethed at me, irritatingly pondering over its meaning and why he felt the need to spit such words at me— I would almost say he was looking out for me, however that's silly and delusional of me to think about; he would never, which he's made incredibly clear and obvious. If Draco ever cared about me, I would honestly never doubt anyone again, seeing as it's bloody crazy if he felt anything but loathing and fury towards me.

What Draco said was exceedingly unnecessary, being pointless to even speak since I could not give a care. He seriously thinks that I'd let my guard down to any boy that quickly? Merlin, how stupid and arrogant can he get?

If I'm honest, maybe in the near future I would lose my virginity to Oskar— that's if we're still talking. Oskar's kind, well to me at least, he laughs and jokes with me. Not to mention that he reads, I know Draco reads but he's not pleasant to be around, Oskar is bearable to spend time with. Unlike Draco, I don't feel the need to curse him out or cower into a corner because of his glare, I've never cursed Oskar out nor felt intimidated by him in the past few weeks.

TW!! 

"Hey, Raven." Oskar says softly, closing the transfigurations textbook and placing it on the floor beside his feet.

"Yeah?" I reply, looking up from where he positioned the book to meet his gentle eyes. 

"Don't take this the wrong way, but how do you feel about me?" He asks, shamefully shrugging his shoulders as though it's a sin to ask for ones impressions of yourself. 

I furrow my eyebrows, "Uh— well, you're kind to me and... oh." Quickly grasping what he meant, I bite the inside of my cheek. "I guess I feel like we're good friends?"

Supposedly, it's friend zoning, but its all we truly are anyway. 

Oskar sighs, "Is that all?"

Unexpectedly, I feel a warm hand contact with my knee before it steadily coasts up my thigh. "Yes, Oskar, we're friends."

"Um— wha..what are you doing?" I stutter, his hand slides beneath my grey school skirt and fiddles with the hem of my underwear.

"I think we can be closer, don't you?" He tilts his head, my heart throws itself into a pit of nerves and beats rapidly. Oskar shuffles nearer to me, using his other other hand to begin unbuttoning my white blouse. "This is a way of being better friends."

"I— Um— maybe an..another time." I manage to mutter through the heightening anxieties and tremors.

Oskar chuckles, "Why wait when we can now?" He removes his hand from my tugging at her underwear to quicken his pace in unlatching the buttons. "Its obvious you want this."

"Oskar— no, I really don't want it." I attempt to stand up, but I'm too slow. Oskar stands himself, positioning in front of me before shoving me down onto the mattress, his hands remain on my shoulders as he firmly pins me on the bed. "Sto-p, Oskar, st—stop."

"I know you want it." He snaps, unhooking the last button and his face lights up with eagerness as he notices my front-clip bra. "You make it terribly easy, Poppet."

I try to scream, however a hand closes over my mouth and presses down roughly before I even have the chance to utter a sound. 

"Come on, you'll like it." He says

Squirming beneath him, his free hand unclipping my bra and giving himself access to my breasts. 

"It'll feel good." He says

I can feel myself hyperventilating, my breathes quickening rapidly and my heartbeat thumping in my chest as the fear induced adrenaline wares off and I'm thrown into reality. 

"You can't tell anyone, it's a secret." He says

Oskar stares down on me as though he's accomplished something, as if I'm worth a trophy or a fresh piece of meat— but I don't want this, why can't he see that?

Screaming against his hand, my sounds muffled to a pointless manner— 

no one can hear me

no one cares

no one knows I'm here

they're all out eating dinner, while I'm being forced through this.

"This is what friends do, you said we're friends." He says

I squirm on the mattress as his hand reaches down and forcefully pushes my skirt up, the hem up high on my waist. 

Why wasn't I detaching like I usually did?

I hear a belt buckle,

Then a clink of the metal against the stone floor, I wiggle harder and stronger than ever— but my petite, weak figure is nothing compared to him.

"Shut the fuck up." He hisses, his free hand collides with the side of my head. "You won't be able to keep your hands off me next time."

Everything was fading,

finally, my body understands.

I scream louder than before, another vigorous blow to my head.

slowly, i'm detaching myself from the situation

I feel my underwear get pushed to the side, then a excruciating pain shoots through my frail body

it hurts

"I'm doing this because I like you." He says

it hurts so much

"I'm returning the favour from all your help." He says

why is this happening to me?

what did I ever do deserve this?

I claw at his arm, in which covered my mouth.

somebody please help

the pains unbearable, I want to cry but I can't 

finally.....   
I lose touch with my surroundings and all senses

I'll be safe now.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

a quick A/N ;

this was just as hard to write as to proofread— also for some of you to read yourselves

it's brief for a reason, there is no way I can put detail into these without triggering myself.

Please do not slander me.

I'm raising awareness for a disgusting, vile action that poor woman and men, boys and girls, and non binary people have been through — including myself.

If you need immediate help, or want a friendly person to talk to. There are plenty of worldwide hotlines that are always available. As well as myself, I'm open to expressing my story and helping you as much as I possibly can!!

I love you all


	18. Chapter 18

Narrator's POV

"He's fucking her right now." Blaise informed Draco, the two just about to leave the Great Hall earlier than the others; both wanting to have a quick smoke before Vesper or the others joined them. 

Draco snickers, "Are you fucking serious?" 

For reasons unknown to the blond boy, he felt frustrated. Infuriated that Raven hadn't listened to a word he said and utterly enraged that even after everything he told her— she fucked Oskar Argento. He couldn't believe it, it hadn't even been three hours since he spoke to her; was she really that desperate? He warned her, but even as he talked to the quiet girl, she didn't seem remotely bothered by it. His words being no more than nonsense and meaningless to rambles to Raven, and Draco found himself true to the words he told her.

'Whatever, if you fuck him that's just pathetic on your part.' There's no lie to what Raven did was on her part, Draco knows the girl has a brain that holds intelligence and definitely has common sense; he even believed she had the decency to save herself for someone other than Oskar Argento— but clearly not. 

'Didn't think you'd ever lower your standards, but you will lose all the slight respect I shamefully have for you.' Raven did lower her standards, lowered them so slow to the point she'd lose her virginity to a teenage fuckboy— soon, Raven will realise that Oskar wants nothing to do with her, and that she's just an accomplishment to him; which he has won. Draco has truthfully lost all mere respect he held towards her, he could not believe how pathetic and stupidly delusional she was. Honestly, Draco's more pissed off about the fact that she lunged herself at Oskar when there's multiple decent boys at this school; he may not like or tolerate half of them as they're utterly modest and have no idea how to use their dick, but at least they wouldn't fuck Raven on the third week of knowing her— also, surely the girl met pitiful boys that were in Hufflepuff or something, how could she not?

Practically the whole sixth year cohort were aware of her presence and, of course, the little rumours that she's nice and attractive; being an angel version of Vesper Winters. Had no boy swallowed their nerves, grown balls and asked to study with her? The silly dork would've fell right at their feet, at least that's what happened with Oskar. Oskar said a few words on how he reads and then asked Raven if she'd like to study together, and now look what happened— the girl fell to her knees for a liar. 

Honestly, Draco wanted to confess everything to the bookworm of Slytherin, but he wouldn't. He felt the need to see how far Oskar would go to fuck her, and experience Raven Winters fall into the shameful pit of believing a player. Yes, he felt bad, who wouldn't? The girl was the most reserved and decent student in Slytherin, being the first girl to NOT throw herself at anyone— He thinks she was more interested in trying muggle herb than flirting with a boy. 

Draco wasn't sure if Blaise was fucking with him, seeing as he endlessly ridiculed him. But, his voice was riddled with truth and complete amusement— the same tone of voice when Blaise spoke truthfully.

Raven actually fucked Oskar Argento.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ still Narrator POV ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Oskar had buttoned three of Raven's white school blouse, then shoved her out of his room as though she was worthless; in a way that someone threw their trash out after being finished with it, the someone being Oskar Argento and the trash was Raven. 

From the strength his push, Raven stumbled on her weak legs and descended to the floor in a pit. She had no power in her muscles to move, but she knew sitting there would result in mocks and insults— so the powerless girl fumbles to her feet. As she shuffles steadily down the boys dormitory corridor and into the common room, she tightly wraps her shaking arms around herself and grips the blouses fabric in her hands. Raven was in pain, a swarm of stings and hot metal rods burning her lower half; not to mention the heightening throbbing sensation that clouded the side of her bruised face.

Raven was still in a state of detachment, which was strange since she usually jolted back to awareness after the pain was gone; but she's wandering around in her dreamy mind, with no signs of leaving. Raven liked being inside her mind though, she was incredibly thankful that she found a way to block everything out— even though she wasn't fully blacked out and unconscious, being unknown to situation helped the damaged girl through a lot. Maybe she'd stay in her head for a little longer, just until the pain was gone. 

The quivering girl stops as she exits the boys corridor, now standing barely two feet into the common room. She was highly aware of the stares, however her mind wasn't processing fear or anxieties— Raven brushes their shocked stares from any thoughts she could comprehend, then makes a sharp right and saunters down the girls dormitory corridors.

"What the fuck?!" Vesper says, her eyes watching Raven amble out of sight down the corridor. She looked a mess, sadly she had appeared much worse in the past; but she still looked absolutely horrible.

Blaise shrugs, "Fell down stairs?" He didn't want to verbally tell the others what had just occurred, that's Oskar's news to tell— not his. However, she seemed beaten and bruised— too much. 

Vesper scoffs with anger, "Stairs my ass."

As the others rant and blabber about the strange scene, Draco couldn't comprehend what just happened. So, he decides to go after her and ask her himself.

Draco's POV

I hastily walk towards her dorm room, the sound of calls and whispers echoing from behind me, but I immediately blocked them out. As I reach the door, I realise the door was open ajar, so I nudge the door awide with my foot. 

Almost instantly, my eyes dart to Winters, who was perched on the side of her bed— looking like an absolute mess. Her curly, brown tresses were more tousled than usual, with some strands falling over her face as her head was bowed and her eyes remain on the ground. The top two buttons of her white blouse were undone, as well as one from the end, only three buttons keeping her chest from being shown. 

In a state of confusion, I walk closer to her and stand directly in front of her shaking figure. "Winters." I say lowly, hoping to grasp her attention but she quietly exhales shakily, then brings her arms from around to lay on her mid-thighs; lightly scratching at her skin. "Raven." 

"Fucking hell, you can't even look me in the eye," I scoff, she still remains quiet and doesn't even utter a singular word. "Are you that ashamed?"

Weirdly, she just nods momentarily. Her grey skirt was uneven, as though it had twisted around on her hips. "Good lord, bet you regret that."

I snicker, "Have a great life dealing with that, Winters." And with that, I leave. I see Vesper frantically walk past me, her eyes glaring me down as she does. 

I hope she's ready to see that sight. 

Raven's POV

Draco was right, I couldn't look him in the eye... 

Why? Why did he have to come?   
Why did he have to be the first person I saw? 

Out of everyone, out of all the decent people who would've been kind or something— I had the be subjected to the cruel one? 

"Raven." A soft voice says, the sound of the door lightly closing behind them. I sigh, shuffling myself onto my comfy bed and lying on my side. I felt safe now, being in the vicinity of my dorm and soft bed— what if he came to find me?

Oh fuck. Draco brought me back to reality. 

It hurts so much, my everything hurts.

"Ray, what happened?" I feel the mattress dip as Vesper sits herself beside me. 

I can't talk, I don't want to talk.

Her hand contacts with my shoulder, the soothing sensation of her thumb stroking up and down as I feel my breaths stabilise. "Ray, you can tell me."

"What in Merlins name have I missed out on?" I hear the voice of Angel speak quietly, I want to laugh from her unusual tranquility; but it's impossible.

I feel so broken, as though I had bricks thrown into me with utter brute force. 

Suddenly, I notice someone slipping my school shoes off my feet and hear the soles drop to the floor. 

"Ray, what happened?" Vesper tries again, but I remain silent.

"What's going on, Ves?" Angel asks with a shaky voice 

Vesper sighs, "I have no fucking clue, last time she went mute was... never mind."

Thank you for not telling her, Ves.

"Uh— get Ivy, Luna and Hermione, tell them to come to my dorm." Vesper informs, earning a gasp from Angel.

Angel stutters as she tries to get words out, "Bu-But you hate them!"

Vesper grumbles under her breath, "Now."

"Okay." Angel hesitates, the sound of footsteps slowly disappearing.

Vespers soft hand meets with the side of my side, luckily the side that was free from bruises and marks, and gently runs her thumb along my brow bone. "Go to sleep, I'm not sure what happened... but if you want to tell me, write it down?" Vesper informs, the mattress raises again and footsteps descend away.

I can sleep now, forget all about it.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆  
heya.

I honestly didn't know how to write this part, I'm sort of disappointed with it— but I needed to get out a chapter.

please vote <3


	19. Chapter 19

Vesper's POV

"She's... mute?" Asked Hermione, her knee bobbing up and down as she sits uncomfortably on my sofa.

Angel got the girls I requested for— all of them in a pit of utter worry as they sit in my dorm. 

I was on the right, leaning against the right armrest with Angel beside me. Luna sat in the corner of the L shape sofa, with Hermione and Ivy next to her. Weirdly, we were all close together, but I guess it's because of the nerves I induced.

Raven looked horrible. I don't have a fucking clue what happened, there's no way she saw the letter that arrived from Father and Mother— it was with me the entire day. Even if she did see it, she wouldn't of reacted this way; Raven never responded to Fathers threats, it doesn't bother her. Nevertheless, something or someone has bothered her. Last time she went completely mute was the day Father found out about her friendly interactions with Draco, when she was around ten or so— it lasted for months, she was still silent when I returned for Christmas break, it's truly terrifying. 

Raven had ways of blocking out traumatising events, she had told me about one of them— it was that her brain seemed to understand what was happening, so it'd shut down... sort of. Apparently she was still conscious, like awake an all, but was just unaware of the actions taking place. Which explains why she dealt with it so well, she wasn't entirely known of what she relentlessly goes through. I suppose it brings a sense of relaxation to me, knowing she will never be fully aware of her traumas— if you know what I mean. Like, she knows it happens, but blocks out the worst parts— going through the pain and all. It's safe for her.

Christmas break of 1992, Vesper's second year at Hogwarts.

"Ves," The frail voice of my sister said, her hands lightly tugged on my plaid purple pyjama shirt.

"Yeah?" I replied, gently grabbing her hand and guided her from the hallway and into my room. 

"Um... why do I black out sometimes?" Little Raven questioned, sitting herself on black cotton sheets of my bed.

I furrowed my brows, "What do you mean?" I took a seat beside her, us both side to side on the verge of the mattress. 

"I know things happen with Father, when he yells. But I don't remember it." Raven informed.

"I don't understand?" I asked her further.

Raven sighs, "Like I'm awake but not."

I read about what Raven said that night, the hidden nerd in me broke out and I read willingly read a book for the first time. Although Raven wasn't specific on what she said, I managed to realise what she meant.

"Psychogenic Blackouts." I sigh, the girls immediately furrow their brows in confusion.

It's unfortunate that's we live in a time where mental illnesses and the brain weren't fully understood.

The reason I got this group of girls here was because there's no way in hell I'm telling a bunch of Slytherin girls about this, the big mouthed bitches would tell the entire world— and I did not need that happening. 

"You can't tell anyone, and I mean this. Only Draco knows, well sort of." I frantically say, glaring at all four of them as they nod in agreement. 

"Why does Draco know?" Ivy asks with confusion, "I thought he didn't care about her."

I sigh, "He probably doesn't. I drunkenly told him in fifth year." 

"Wow, he's good at secrets." Angel says in shock, earning a few nods from the girls.

"I know," I huff, collecting myself as I begin to confess the whole home situation to them. "Psychogenic blackout is a medical term for a blackout..."

"Raven has been through some horrible shit.. which I don't really know if I want to say yet.." I admit, second guessing myself.

I want to tell them. Knowing only Draco has hold of his information is irritating, I can't talk to him and earn a warm hug in response. I'd get an 'ok' and that's it, but with these girls I know they'll comfort me until I'm fucking soft or some shit. I suppose Raven should be telling them, however whenever she tried to confess it to anyone; it's like her mouth would stop working, her systems detaching from reality again.

"That's okay, Vesper," Hermione smiles, "Can you explain the blackouts?" 

I nod, "I'm not entirely sure if it's 'Psychogenic Blackout', since she doesn't have seizures or anything..."

"But— um," I shakily exhale, Angel budges over and rests her head upon my shoulder in reassurance. "It's when she loses some control of her body. Like Raven has the symptoms of going blank and absent, or feeling out of touch with her surroundings and inability to remember the event."

Luna clears her throat lowly, "Is that why she's so... quiet?"

I nod in affirmation, "She's always been quiet, but happy at the same time. When she was nine.. um— something really bad happened and it's like all the energy left her."

Hermione's knee bounces more rapidly, "Can you fix it? Like make her feel safe and happy again?"

"I've tried," I shake my head side to side, "She isn't really aware of what happens." 

Ivy sighs, "I'm really sorry, Ves. That must be horrible."

"I always thought she was just really reserved." Angel shrugs, her hand fiddles with my fingers as she tries to calm me down.

"I— I think something bad happened today." I stutter from the amount of worry and fear cramming inside me, "She won't tell me, she'll never tell anyone."

"Are you positive?" Luna tilts her head in thought, the expression of sorrow upon all four of the girls faces. 

I nod, "Yes, Luna, I'm extremely positive."

"I'm not sure what she has, but after something bad happens her body just shuts down." I admit, leaning my head left and resting it atop of Angels. "Once she went mute for months."

Hermione exhales with a distinct quiver in her breath, "What do we do?"

"Hold everyone hostage until someone breaks and tells us." I snicker, earning a faint giggle from Angel.

"Wait— I've heard of the term 'mutism' before, do you think Ray has that?" Luna says sweetly, her blue eyes directly on mine. 

It was warming, actually, seeing how they all want to help. People have never usually wanted to help Raven before, nor me for that matter. Keeping everything bottled inside was consuming me, and I'd hate to know how much Raven is drowning— considering she's the frontline of it all, being subjected to Father and the silence induced to protect her. "What's that?" I question curiously. 

Luna explains what 'mutism' is, and I never really knew Raven's silence had a medical term for it. 

'defined as an absence of speech while conserving or maintaining the ability to understand the speech of others'

'someone who is mute may be mute for one of several different reasons: organic, psychological, developmental/ neurological'

That sounds incredibly right.

I inform the girls that we need to figure out what happened, all while making sure Raven's not going to throw herself off a bridge or something.

Honestly, I knew where to start, and that was with Draco.


	20. Chapter 20

Raven's POV

I'm pretty upset, not over the situation that happened last night... I don't really remember much, I can only feel the aftermath:

But I'm upset at Draco, upset that he was right, annoyed that I didn't listen to him... most of all, I'm distraught that he tore me from my mind. If I could have a free wish, it would be to be able to enter my mind whenever I wanted, have the dreamy ability to protect myself whenever I wanted. However, it feels like a drug to me when I enter my mind and escape reality, it's so amazing and freeing; I would get addicted and never leave my detached state. Why couldn't Draco just leave me alone? 

He ripped me from my happy place, I don't want to be here and be mentally present.

Everything hurts, I want to be happy.

As much as I'd like to drown myself into a state of sleep, that being my only gateway into an unconscious state. I need to pretend nothing happened, just like I did at home— it's no ones business, I'll easily survive by myself... I have been for years. 

So, I managed to have a shower this morning. I pretended that the soap cleansed me and that it would clear my body of his touch, I scrubbed and scrubbed until I felt like he was gone— and he was. I don't dwell on things, it's unhealthy. Never did I think about Father, he doesn't deserve my thoughts and neither does Oskar Argento. Angel and Ivy were looking at me strangely the entire morning, their eyebrows furrowed as they skimmed over my figure. Like always, I wore the skirt that Ivy severed for me, it's the best way to indicate that I'm fine. 

No one needed to know what happened, I don't want anyone to know what happened. 

Currently, I'm supposed to be in Defence Against the Dark Arts, but I forged a note with the signature of Professor McGonagall's to get out of class. I had attended Arithmancy quite alright, mostly Ivy talked but I didn't feel like chatting with her. Draco was at class, but he sat beside some random Ravenclaw boy— his eyes avoiding mine, which I'm happy for. So, presently, I sat in the back corner of the library with Draco's rewritten version of 'Outlander' in my hands. If I can't sleep, nor force myself into a state of mental detachment, at least I can drown in the words of a novel for hours and forget about the reality of this horrible world. 

Annoyingly, Vesper bothered me every minute of this morning. Questioning me on the most irritating things.

"Did you sleep well?"

"how are you feeling?"

"Ray, everything you say is safe with me, why are you mute?"

I love Vesper, I would throw myself into a volcano or swim through shark infested waters just for her— but her worry and protectiveness can get bothering. Of course I'm thankful for everything she does, and I'm glad she cares this much... but I want space. I know Vesper won't come into the library, the scent of fresh parchment and dust disgusts her; so I'm essentially safe from her in here. 

I feel the cushion of the booth seat dip beside me, but I chose to ignore it— whoever it is.

"Afternoon, Ray." Her sweet voice says, a voice so angelic that it calms me no matter what mood I'm in. Giving in to her celestial voice, I peer up for a brief moment and smile at her. "What are you reading?" She questions curiously, however I just shrug.

"Um.. since it's Friday, Hermione and some girls are having a sleepover... would you like to come? I'd love for you to be there." Luna explains, her want for my presence warms my heart. I glance at her, then nod in agreement. "Wonderful! I'll see you, arrive at any time comfortable with you!" Luna beams, tilting herself forward and planting the most gentle kiss on my pale cheek. 

Luna smiles softly, then shuffles out of the booth and skips away like the joyful girl she was. 

Then, all good things come to an end, my face drops at the sight of Draco searching down the library aisle. He immediately locates me and strolls towards me. For a strange reason, he nervously sits himself where Luna just seated.

"Winters." Draco says bluntly, I smile and direct my eyes to the absorbing words of the book. Suddenly, the books ripped from my grasp and Draco places it into his hands. "I don't want a slut like you touching my things."

I shrug, then rest my arms on the table in front and lay the side of my head upon my arms. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He questions with annoyance, clearly frustrated that I was ignoring him.

"Fuck you then." Draco spits before storming off with the book, what a friendly boy he is.

Why's everyone out of class? First Luna, then Draco? Good lord, am I going to see Vesper next?

I close my eyes, feeling a blanket of exhaustion upon me. Before I know it, I drift into a calm and unconscious state.

Draco's POV

"How was it?" Blaise asks the cocky student of Oskar Argento, the two in my room as Dinner had just finished. 

I hadn't seen Winters since this afternoon, which was strange. Maybe I was a little harsh, but I'm so disappointed in her. I thought she was wise enough to stay on her feet instead of dropping to her knees in front of Argento, she clearly has a ridiculous lack of respect for herself. What made everything even more confusing was how silent she was, Winters is typically already quiet, but not to the point where she doesn't speak at all. 

Winters always talked back, she never let me get away with saying something without her getting a word in. Like a mumble of 'Dickhead' or a simple 'funny', but she didn't say anything; not a fucking peep. Either Argento killed her and brought her back to life, or she really did feel guilty about it all.

"Could of been better." Oskar shrugs, making me scoff. "Got something to add, Draco?" He glares at me before taking a shot of firewhiskey.

I roll my eyes, "She's a virgin, did you expect her to be interesting?"

Oskar laughs lowly, "I'm lucky her looks and body counteracted it."

"How'd it happen then? She thrown herself onto you?" Blaise snickers, he briefly glances at me before flickering his focus to Oskar again. 

"Practically wanted me to fuck her." He admits, pouring himself another shot of the burning liquid.

Blaise's eyes widen, "No fucking way." 

I knew it. Of course she did. Why am I even surprised? The good girls usually hide quite a lot back, and it seems little Raven Winters definitely concealed her true self back— rather well, must I add. However, Oskar's cockiness and the copious amount of alcohol he's throwing down is suspicious. But, maybe, I'm overthinking? It's a Friday, I'm sure he's just tired and thankful for the week being over. 

Suddenly, my dorm door gets hurtled open and Vesper enters with her wand tightly in her grip. "Draco!" Vesper says, storming right towards me.

Merlin, what could this girl typically want?

"What?" I ask in confusion, but Vesper seems so angry that she can't even get her words out. "Okay, I'm coming." Sighing, I grasp the bottle of firewhiskey from the table and down a few shots, then stroll out the room with an extremely infuriated Vesper. 

As I exit the room, I close the door behind me so no one heard what she was about to say— which was pointless as she grabs my wrist and hauls me towards Theo's dorm, that's only two doors from mine. When we enter, the sight of Theo was void, meaning it was only Vesper and I. Vesper slams the door behind me, then paces vigorously and rapidly in front of me.

My eyes watch the enraged girl storm to the left then sharply turn around and stomp to the right— honestly, she's soon to fall right through the floorboards. "What's got you all riled up?" I ask, somewhat worried as she never got his ruffled. 

"You! Raven! Everything!" Vesper seethes, eventually halting in her charging movements and towards me. My eyes widen while I stumble back, Vesper backing me into the door behind me.

"Calm it!" I hiss, "I'd rather you kill me after I have the knowledge as to WHY." I admit, throwing my hands up in defence. Vesper grumbles under her breath, then the weirdest fucking thing happens...

Vesper falls onto my chest, her arms wrapping around him tightly and her hands clutching the fabric of my shirt. Light sobs expel from the usually strong girl, her forehead against my chest.

"Ves— what is it." I query nervously, completely unaware of how to console her. 

I'm not fucking used to it, okay?!

In a confused manner, I place one hand on the back of her head and the other upon her upper-back. Stroking my thumb up and down against her dark hair, utterly oblivious on how to solace her. Last time this happened, I was drunk and it was like two years ago. "You suck at comforting people." Vesper murmurs, a slight giggle escaping her. 

"I'm very aware, Ves." I roll my eyes, "Whats wrong?" 

"Can we get drunk? Theo knows you and I are here." She sniffs against my chest, I hum in agreement. 

Vesper pulls away from me, sliding her wand into the pocket of her robe and immediately wiping her tears away. She strolls over to Theo's wardrobe, where she crouches down and rummages through the few stacks of clothes at the bottom. Vesper retrieves a full bottle of a clear liquid before closing the wardrobe door, then descends her body to the floor and leans her back against the wooden wardrobe. She pats the space behind her, in which I wander over and take a seat beside her. 

I've never seen her so broken before, her eyes glinting with worry and fear— the usual spirit and sassy fire in her amber eyes had dissipated completely. Mascara stains were trailed down her cheeks from her past crying, with a few tears joining as they escape from her waterline. Vesper pops off the lid of the vodka, then glances at me and smiles. "Just like old times." She laughs, sniffing softly. 

"Why me? Why not Theo or someone?" I question, taking the bottle from her as she gulps down two shots or so. 

Vesper shrugs, "You understand."

This didn't seem like a good conversation, a trip down memory lane it seems— which is just wonderful. I lift the bottle to my lips, swallowing a decent amount of the liquid. It was harsh on the throat, but no as bad as the firewhiskey. Holding the bottle in front of me, reading the label and I furrow my brows in bafflement. "How'd you get ahold of 70% vodka?" I pass the bottle back to her.

She shrugs, "Theo got it, said I could have it."

"We're going to be fucked." I admit, shocked by how Vesper didn't care.

"That's the point." Vesper smiles sadly.

Around fifteen minutes had past, I stopped myself as I knew I wanted to reply with fully conscious answers— passing out right now would not a good idea, seeing as Vesper is most likely to kick me until I'd awaken; so I gave myself a limit. 

"Ray's mute." Vesper says bluntly, her head falling onto my shoulder.

"What?" I reply, "Why?"

I hear her softly sigh, "Fucks me, Draco, I think she saw the letter."

"What let—" I begin to question but Vesper ferrets in the pocket of her robe and places an envelope on my lap. Taking the hint, I pick it up and thoughtfully slip the parchment from the envelope. 

'Winters Residence' Was on the back of the parchment, I sigh in worry as I unfold the paper.

'Vesper,' it began, the sight of one name annoying me.

"Where's Winters name?" I scoff, the waterworks of Vesper instantly kicking off again.

"She's never on them." Vesper quivers, "They're always just addressed to me."

I grumble, but continue to read.

'We've recently became knowledgeable of your sisters misbehaving at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardly,'

Fucking Astoria. 

'Mr Winters is visiting the school next week for a discussion with your sister, Ms Winters is staying at the residence and will not be accompanying him,'

Fuck no.

'He hopes that you'll inform her on Mr Winters arrival, as well as discuss her unacceptable actions,

thank you, Mr Uriel'

"Who's Mr Uriel?" I ask, making Vesper scoff in annoyance.

"Really? out of all of that you ask how fucking Mr Uriel is?" Vesper sits up, her eyes staring into mine as though I was insane.

I snicker, "I'm drunk, Ves, you can't expect me to be civil about this."

Vesper sighs, "I know. He's the butler." 

I furrow my brows, "Why don't you parents write the letters?"

"Pfft— they never do, don't have time probably." Vesper laughs, grasping the bottom and taking a sip, "Dads got work, Mums drinking."

"Why do you think she's worrying about this if you have the letter?" I query, in which Vesper shrugs.

She twists her lips to the side in thought, "I think something else happened, but I don't know what."

"Ask her?" I notice, earning an eye roll from Vesper. "Guessing that's pointless."

"Have you talked to her recently?"  
Vesper asks, "Or even seen her?"

I nod, "She's not talking but she looks fine."

Vesper rakes her hand through her hair and groans in irritation, "Thats the fucking thing, she pretends everything's okay!! Do you not remember how I said she doesn't react to Father? nor fucking talk about it? nor fucking act like she had just been beaten!" 

"Okay, okay, breathe." I place my hand on her knee, which she thankfully takes in a deep breath and stares at me with worry. "When's he supposed to be coming?" 

Vesper huffs, "Probably this weekend, who knows."

I sigh, "Ves, she's tough. I may not particularly like her, but I know she'll be okay."

"Why don't you like her, Draco?" She questions curiously.

"I really don't want to talk about that." I admit, my voice sterner than before.

Vesper glances at me before she smiles with solace, then she carefully shuffles to lay on her back and lays her head on my lap. "I just want her to be safe, Draco."

"I know, you're eighteen soon though, right?" I twirl a few strands of her black hair around my index finger, Vesper nods in reply. "Take me with me, if you move or whatever— you don't have to though—"

Vesper smiles, "I will."


	21. Chapter 21

Raven's POV

Despite the fact that all I wanted right now is to go to my room and sleep, I have to continue with my fake charade of being fine; the corollary being that I need to attend the sleepover with Luna and those girls. Truth be told, the slight thought of my bed is making it incredibly hard to saunter to the Gryffindor common room, it's very tempting to just swerve around and head to Slytherin commons; but this is important, they need to realise that I'm fine. 

I don't want them worrying.

They shouldn't even need to worry themselves with my issues.

I can deal with it on my own.

I'm, currently, around three minutes from the Gryffindor common room, however I jolt from the sound of my name being called... by Professor Dumbledore? 

Immediately, I whip my head around and come to a halt in my swift walking— I thought moving faster would assist me in forgetting about my bed, which it unfortunately didn't, but at least I neared the common room quicker... so that means less time OF thinking about my comfy bed. I smile, but the sight of a particular man beside him induces my entire face to drop.

My father. He stood beside the old Wizard in a wealthy looking suit, black pants and jacket with a white dress shirt, as well as a grey tie. His arms were crossed, implying he's definitely not happy with me.. but what did I do? His dark, caliginous black hair is slicked back to its familiar appearance, you never would of thought that this man causes extreme fear and distress to his family. The whole of his appearance screams wealth, and the rare smile of his always looked as though he was a happy man— his facade fools everyone.

I acknowledge them with a smile, wandering the twenty-ish feet to meet with their presences. Each step, I notice the fire within Father's eyes— he's not happy at all, almost as though he's soon to slaughter me and feed my body to the pigs.

"Ah, Miss Winters, your Father has traveled here to have a discussion about family matters." Professor Dumbledore informs, "Seems quite urgent and too important to be conveyed with a letter." He explains, I nod my head in understanding.

Dumbledore turns to my Father, holding his hand out, where the two momentarily shake hands. "I must be off, I'm rather sure you know your way around the castle, Mr Winters."

Father chuckles, "I assure you I do, mustn't have changed much since I attended." Professor Dumbledore nods before disappearing down a right corridor. I watch as Father views Professor Dumbledore vanish from sight, Father glares at me with pure anger and grasps my wrist.

"Three weeks, you pathetic child." Father seethes, dragging me into an unlocked classroom and throwing me to the floor. "You've been here for three weeks!"

In fear, I shuffle on the cold floor until my back collides with a solid object, but I'm truly too terrified to even dare look away. "I received a letter, from the Greengrass Family. I'm sure you've heard of them, yes?" Father steps forward, then crouches in front of me with the most intimidating glare I've ever seen. "Your Mother is fucking suppositious to allow you attend this school!" 

My bottom lip quivers as Father crouched before him, his features displaying no sight of calm, instead utter frustration and hatred. Fathers going to hurt me, hurt me even more as I couldn't speak— I want to, I fucking need to speak, but I can't. I open my mouth to speak, forcing myself to try, however the words get lodged in my throat. "This, you pathetic excuse of a child, is a warning. I sure hope it's clear enough to you."

I nod in understanding, hoping Father will stray from hurting me. People would ask questions, they'd suspect things— they already are, if I'm bloody and bruised they'll ask more questions. But, I am unrealistic for thinking that as a fist collides with my jaw. 

Why?

I feel another pound to the left of my face, the pain's excruciating as it mixes with the bruise that was already there.

Before I feel the rest of the hits, I float away into the protection of my mind. 

It's quiet here, there's no pain.. 

or sound..

or sense of touch..

only safe.

I feel myself grasp reality again, my Father standing up and staring down on me. 

"Do you understand?" Father yells with utter loathing in his tone, I nod in fear. 

Pain shoots through my body from my abdomen.

"Behave!" Father grits his teeth, then sound of footsteps descend and a door slams. 

I wince while I stand up, grasping my stomach and forcing myself to stumble to the door. 

'Come on, your fine.' I think to myself, straightening my back and standing upright. Repositioning my bag strap on my shoulder, I sigh as I open the door then proceed making my way to Gryffindor common room. 

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Whispering the password to the Gryffindor common room, which Luna had gave to me, I enter the room with multiple gasps radiating from a few students. I gulp, smiling at them assuredly and advancing through to Hermione's dormitory. Whispers are heard from behind me but, like always, I block them out and sigh deeply.

I knock lightly on the wooden door, in which someone immediately opens for me. Smiling at the angelic girl in front of me, watching her eyes widen and her body growing stiff. "I— Um.. Ray, are you okay?" Luna asks worryingly, I nod in reply and budge myself past her. Numerous gasps and shakily exhales emit from the girls that all sat on Hermione's bed.

Merlin, why the fuck did I agree to this? 

Luna takes my bag from me, placing with the pile of the other girls bags before clasping my hand in hers and leading me towards the girls. Hermione had charmed her bed to be queen size of the night, so there was much space for us all to sit. Hermione sat against the headboard with Ivy, Angel and Ginny on the other end. Luna guides me towards the bed, where Hermione pats the spot beside her. Smiling, I crawl onto the bed and sit myself beside her, then Luna sits on the other side; putting me in between them both.

"Why— Uh— Ray?" Angel stutters, pointing at her face.

Ivy slaps her arm, "Angeline! You can not ask someone that."

I laugh, reaching into my robe pocket for my notepad and muggle pencil. I flip it open, writing down the words 'tripped down the stairs oops' and pass the notepad to Luna. "She tripped down the stairs, that's understandable. I may have done that a few times." Luna informs the group, in which they all 'ohh' in reply. 

Hermione sighs, "Ray, we need to ask you something." 

I glance at Hermione, furrowing my brows. "Why aren't you talking? Like there's no way to beat around the bush." Hermione asks concerningly.

Maybe if I talk... they'll think I'm okay? Just a few words, I don't need to say much. I presume being in my Fathers presence made it harder? But hopefully since I'm in the vicinity of kind girls, I will be able to talk?

"Uh—" I start, briefly gulping my nerves down before I continue. "Bad dream."

Angel furrows her brows, "About what?" 

I sigh, "Stuff. It seemed real. I'm okay though." 

"You had us all worried!" Ginny huffs in alleviation, followed by the others all sighing from my explanation. "Tell us next time, okay?" 

"Yeah, sorry." I nod, smiling with reassurance.

The night goes on, I believe the girls actually believed what I said; which I found my lie to be quite convincing. Everyone has bad dreams, and I'm sure some dreams might frighten you.. like dreaming about a family member dying or something.. you know. They didn't ask me questions about it for the remainder of the night, which was really relieving. I am thankful they left it alone and allowed the night to go on with fun, which I also believe I did a good job at. I laughed, I smile and no one suspected a thing.

Soon enough, everyone fell asleep and so did I. 

⋆


	22. Chapter 22

Narrators POV

Saturday and Sunday passed quite quickly, it revolved around Raven endlessly sticking her nose in books to escape reality, along with the girls (Vesper, Ivy, Angel) being thoroughly suspicious with Raven after not believing a word she said. When Angel informed Vesper that the reason for Raven's muteness, bruised face and flinching whenever someone lightly touched her or went near her was because of 'a nightmare'; Vesper laughed. She knew it wasn't a nightmare. She saw the marks on Raven's jaw and head, they looked oddly familiar to their Fathers doings— which told her he had been here, and she was too late. 

No one believed a word Raven said, even though they managed to get her talking again— but every word Raven spoke went through their ears and out the other. They wanted Raven to be truthful with them, Vesper knew she had to explain the situation to Angel and Ivy— they were drowning in worry, Vesper thought that maybe the closure of knowing what happens to Raven would help? As much as Vesper loathed the fact of other people knowing about her home life, Angeline deserves to know— as does Ivy. The other girls, no so much, Vesper isn't close with them.. she trusts them, somewhat, but the idea of many people knowing was terrifying her. 

Vesper wished Raven could tell them herself, but she never would. She's still a state of quietness, only briefly speaking if she really needed to. So, Vesper knew she had to do it for her. Angel and Ivy wouldn't tell a sole, they are the most trustworthy girls that Vesper knows. However, getting drunk with Draco and crying about Raven's safety was rather comforting for Vesper— even if the blond boy didn't solace her, his presence was enough. 

Everyone was worried for Raven, including Draco. He's still angry at her, absolutely enraged with how stupid she had been; fucking Oskar Argento. Oskar was tranquil about the entire situation, he'd shrug if anyone asked if he had any idea of what was wrong with Raven; almost like he didn't care. When Draco said he'd lose the sparse respect he had for Raven, he wasn't lying; Draco truly had lost all the minuscule respect for her, and it definitely didn't seem to be returning any time soon. Of course, he felt bad for the girl— seeing as she goes through exactly what Draco does himself, but what Raven did was pitiful. She hadn't listened to a word he said, it's almost as though she fucked Oskar out of spite. Nonetheless, Draco was over wasting his thoughts on her.

The Monday of the beginning of Fourth week had flown by incredibly quickly, Raven found focusing on class easier than usual, considering she needed to think of other things. Since the weekend was over, Raven had came to terms with the actuality of what occurred on Thursday afternoon; and she wasn't dealing with it very well. She hates herself so so so much, to Venus and back, for mentally detaching so far into the traumatic incident— Raven remembers the worst of it, how he'd try to convince her.. how he touched her. It was so overwhelming and difficult to deal with, she had something to precious stolen from her and ruined it for her. She couldn't understand what she said or did, was she really asking for it?

'Maybe I did deserve it?' Raven thought, 'Maybe that's just how people return favours?'

After years and years of her own Father projecting insults and beliefs that Raven deserved to be punished for being a halfblood, she ended up believing everything that man says. Well, it's all she's known and told— it was relentless too, if it wasn't true than why did Lucius Malfoy hurt her? So, she assumes Oskar Argento is allowed to hurt her too, he's a pureblood and wealthy as well; just like her and Draco's Father. Maybe she did deserve it?

Raven had no idea on how to deal with this type of pain, it was different and unlike the pain Father subjected her to. She felt betrayed? And lied too? Oskar said he liked reading, he called her interesting and seemed to enjoy studying with her; but that was all a lie. Oskar never liked reading, he called her interesting to lure her in and he definitely didn't enjoy studying with her. Raven hated myself even more for believing his stupid words, how could she be so delusional? 

So on the night of Monday, Angel and Ivy had fell asleep— but Raven was wide awake with a thought endlessly sticking to her mind. 'Hurt yourself, you'll feel freedom' She had read about self inflicted injuries in a muggle informational book, it also popped up in a few of the drug autobiographies. Raven wanted another way to feel free, sleeping and reading wasn't helping her enough. So, the brunette girl, who was ever so convinced it'll relieve her, locked the bathroom door and dismantled an unused razor.

And she freed herself.

Tuesday came along, Raven didn't feel free anymore— she felt confined in the cage of realisation. It was horrible, to remember that dreadful Thursday night was beginning to become sickening for Raven; she just wanted to forget it, why couldn't she of just blocked out her surroundings quicker? How dare her stupid body do this to her, it forced her to be put through pain. Why? Why?! Tuesday night, Raven couldn't free herself as she was at Hermione's, so she held back and tried to enjoy the night.

Wednesday and Thursday were the same. Raven would go to her classes, act as though she was oh so fine and read a novel in the commons room until the late hours of the night. She'd leave the commons before she was left with Draco, Blaise and him, she didn't want to be ridiculed or mocked— so she avoided them entirely. Weirdly, Draco had left Raven alone, she wasn't sure as to why but didn't complain about it. Draco only insulted her when he was around her, and she doesn't think that she'd be able to tolerate it ontop of all the pain dwelling inside her. Raven freed herself on Wednesday and Thursday, but only twice; just enough to feel calm.

Raven's POV

Friday. What a lovely day of the week. It had been a week since last Thursday's event and the meeting with my Father, I wish I could say I'm doing okay. On the outside, I suppose I appear normal and as though I'm dealing with everything well— but on the inside, I feel like I'm being submerged under water and forced to swallow down the salty water. Honestly, the occurrence with Father meant nothing and I barely waste my thoughts on it, I don't entirely remember the incident anyway— but I remember Oskar Argento, and I hate it. 

I can't understand why he'd do such a thing to me, he ruined me. He stole something so special to him, I feel violated and betrayed. I never deserve such a thing, but I suppose I actually did. 

"Hey Ray," Ivy says from behind me as she takes a seat, the first class of the morning being Arithmancy.

"Morning." I smile, shutting the Arithmancy textbook after having studying the chapter we read in my Wednesday class. 

"How are you?" She asks while she retrieves her notebook and quill— however not her textbook as she leant it to me for the week and borrowed her friends spare.

I scoff, "Silly question, Ivy. It's nine in the morning and I'm tired."

Ivy chuckles, "I totally agree with you on that."

Arithmancy was rather slow, which I'm not complaining about, it's actually my favourite subject. I must say, it's been much more enjoyable with Draco not sitting beside me and muttering insults; they aren't really insults if they hurt you, right? I also didn't need to deal with him sleeping, he took up a lot of space when he slept and it is very annoying; but now, the unfortunate manner is passed to the poor Ravenclaw boy. 

I was thinking about my destiny number, pondering on how I put others needs before my own and tend to become a doormat since I'm so caring— which I really wish I hadn't thought so deeply on. I realised how true it was, I truly do put others needs as my top priority to the point where I'm drowning; and currently, I'm drowning. I was caring about how Vesper was going, I was helping Angel with Potions homework and not once had I thought about helping herself— I never thought on confessing to Vesper about the few red lines that were engraved on my wrist, nor the thing with him, or even how I felt inside. I am being completely and utterly drowned, and I'm not doing shit to help myself.

I suppose, it's like what Oskar Argento had ignited the string that leads to the dynamite— and it was burning closer and closer to the bomb, with the explosion soon to happen. I don't want to think much on it though, maybe I should worry about school for once— not something that happened a week ago. 

Defence Against the Dark Arts was relatively boring, even more draining with the monotone voice of Professor Snape; he's lucky DADA is an applied subject and interesting, otherwise I would be straight out the door so I don't have to endure his dull tones for the near two hours. 

However, now I have Transfigurations, which I am not excited for. Sitting beside Draco felt like a chore and as though I had to step carefully around him, in a way that if I trod to roughly on the eggshells, he would lash out.

But I need to stop worrying about him, he's said his worst to me. He can't get much fucking worse, honestly. 

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

It was halfway through Transfigurations, Professor McGonagall was called out by Headmaster Dumbledore for unknown reasons, so we were all left alone from their state of emergency. But, she did assign us to practice writing about spells and any information about them, which I don't entirely believe anyone was actually completing. Except me. 

"You're a real dork, you know that Winters?" Draco snickers, his whisper amongst many of the numerous voices that engulfed this classroom. I sigh, glancing up to meet the powerful eyes that were piercing the side of my face.

I smile kindly, "Yes."

Draco furrows his brows at me as his eyes dart down, I didn't realise what was happening until I look down as well— my eyes landing on the now visible red lines that were on my wrist. Immediately, I tug the sleeves of my grey Slytherin sweater down to cover them. 

"Are you serious?" He conveys a judgemental look, causing me to roll my eyes in annoyance. "What? You're that ashamed that you did that?"

I scoff, "What are you trying to say, Malfoy? Am I not allowed to feel regret?!" 

Draco smirks, "You get more pathetic by the day, pretty amusing though."

"You're the nicest person I've ever met." I smile sweetly at him, then revert my eyes to completing the work again. 

"I know," He replies smugly, "Why haven't you told anyone about your slutty doings?"

"Stop." I mutter, gritting my teeth and clutching the quill in my hand firmly.

"Why? Don't they deserve to know that you threw yourself at him." Draco chuckles lowly, his shocking words causing me to rip my eyes from my notebook and towards him.

I blink at him, "I-I.. what?" 

Draco smirks, knowing he caught my attention, "He told me, said you were practically on your knees for him."

Why would he say that?

That isn't true at all...

"O—Oh.." I murmur, furrowing my brows sadly and shifting my eyes to the front of the room.

"Always thought you were a little desperate, now I know it's true." Draco continues, the cockiness in his voice more present than before.

"Okay." I whisper

Draco snickers, "What's next? You going to try fuck me?"

I shake my head side to side, indicating no. 

"Sure, sure, you know I wouldn't fuck you anyways," He sneers, "Because. I. Don't. Lower. My. Standards." 

Shakily, I sigh. Dropping my quill and shutting my notebook, then resting my head on the table. Allowing my hair to drop over my face, I feel the table vibrate slightly as my knee bounces up and down. 

"Jeez, Winters, you are embarrassed by it." Draco continues, why is he still continuing.

"Malfoy, please stop." I whimper, the strange sensation of tears brimming my waterline.

Am I fucking crying?

Draco scoffs, "Why?"

I sniffle, "Pl—Please."

"Oh please, have a sook." He growls, I hear him huff in annoyance.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 

I can't believe I nearly cried in transfigurations and out of all people Draco was the only, he was the lucky winner in causing me to cry. I don't think I've ever cried, it made me feel so pathetic and vulnerable— but I cried. What is actually wrong with me? 

Honestly, I shouldn't be surprised that Argento told Draco that— did I think he'd straight up tell him that he forced himsel— the truth, Did I seriously think he would tell Draco the truth. I must be delusional, patently unrealistic to even think that. 

Currently, Angel and Ivy are at Hermione's dorm— playing games and gossiping, but I decided to stay at my dorm for the night. I need time to myself, time to reflect on why I was crying. What Draco said wasn't even that bad, comes quite close to the narrow margin of the insults Father spat at me; but it seriously wasn't that horrible. I'm just pathetic.

Stupid  
and  
Pathetic.

It was ten o'clock, I had been laying on my bed and staring at the ceiling for a countless amount of hours... just pondering where I went wrong in life. 

Why did I deserve such hatred from a woman who I possess half of? Why I'm getting punished for a mistake she made? 

Why did he do that to me? Am I really that worthless and irrelevant that I deserved that?

of course I did. Father says I deserve all of it, every single drop of pain that comes my way— I deserve. 

I sit up, flickering my eyes over the dorm room. I need to stop physically hurting myself, Draco knows now and he seems to be really fond of ridiculing me about it. 

Alcohol maybe? I know Vesper doesn't want me to, but I'll be alone in my dorm? 

What could go wrong?

right..?


	23. Chapter 23

Draco's POV

Why did I say those things to her? 

Am I seriously unable to be decent towards her?

I mean, it's not like something traumatic happened last week, that something being a complete mystery to all of us— and not to mention that her Father was here, and treated her like a punching bag all because she stood up for herself? Honestly, I should stop talking to her and start avoiding her. It's clear that all I do is cause damage and that girl doesn't need anymore fucking trauma. 

Oskar and Blaise wanted to come smoke tonight, but I'm too busy. By busy I mean thinking about why the fuck I said those things. She doesn't deserve that, and I hope she saw past them and realised I was just being a dickhead. Vesper wouldn't think twice on raising all hell upon me, so I have no idea why I was so careless. It's obvious that Winters doesn't need any more harm in her life, and whatever happened a week ago seemed to push her over the edge. 

Winters has been so jumping this week, she'd flinch when anyone would touch her— in any way too, like even if someone would walk past her she would flinch; it's actually sad. Not only that, but she's seemed to unexpectedly get her voice back, which Vesper told me she does to pretend she's ok. I wanted to know what happened, she needed to be honest with someone. Honestly, she needs to understand that no harm is going to come her way from being truthful— Vesper is drowning from the lack of awareness to Raven's mind, we all are. 

She's a mystery. A damaged mystery. 

At this present time, I was sitting on my bed and resting my back against the headboard— with the book I took back from Winters. The day I snatched it back was when I felt the angriest with that she did, and I truly didn't think she deserved to have my possessions. After all, she was the one throwing herself at Oskar.

Although, Winters kept her promise and hadn't ruined the book in any way at all. I'm not sure why I doubted her on that, she's the biggest bookworm I know; if there's one person in this school that'd treat a book like a baby, it'd be her. Weirdly, it was cute how much she read books, I've never met anyone who reads as much as I do— especially in Slytherin, they'll all too bothered about their appearance to read a book.

Abruptly, I hear a knock at my door.

Raven's POV

My wrist hurts,

too much.

I'm not sure why I'm at Draco's dorm, he's probably with Oskar and Blaise; and I'm about to embarrass myself in front of them. Hugging my arms around me, feeling the blood from my wrist leak through the thin material of my shirt and the warm of my bloody against my skin. I had made a mistake, a big one. 

The door opens with a click, the sound of footsteps void; meaning he unlocked the door with his wand. As I enter, the door instantly closed behind me and followed by the infuriated voice of Draco, "The fuck do you want?" 

"D—Draco, help." I sob, the tears steaming down my face and my mascara burning my irritated eyes. Stumbling towards him, he shifts to the edge of the bed. 

"With what—" Draco furrows his brows, but his eyes quickly shift towards the growing red stain on my white shirt. "Fuck, Winters."

"Draco—" I fall to my knees in front of him, my sobs making it impossible to breath properly. Draco immediately sits on the floor beside me, then carefully pulls me onto his lap. As he rests his back against the bed frame, he crosses his legs and situates me sideways against his chest, with me sitting weirdly comfortably. But the soaring pain my arm and chest quickly drained me from being comfortable.

"What the fuck did you do?!" Draco grasps my arm that I held against my chest, with him not seeming to care that my blood was on him as well. 

"Pl—Please.. don-don't let him to—uch me— Dra-Draco please." I stutter through my cries, resting the side of my head against his shoulder.

"Who?" He says worriedly, examine the four inch slash that was vertical up my wrist. "Raven, fucking who?!"

I couldn't stop crying, the tears were just streaming down my cheeks. "Ke-Keep him aw—way from m-me." 

"Fucking hell, who?!" Draco asks again, appearing to become annoyed by my inability to say his name. 

"Please! S—Say you wi-will.. protec-t me." I whisper, unable to speak any louder from my throat growing dry and coarse. 

"I promise, who do you want me to protect you from?!" Draco holds his left hand over the cut, then uses his right to lift my face up and meet his eyes. 

For the first time in my life, I think Draco's actually worried about me. "Raven! Fucking tell me." He rasps in annoyance, my silent inducing him to heighten with worry. 

"Os—Oskar." I murmur, sniffling. 

I'm too drunk to really care about my appearance, there's no doubt I look like an utter mess— which is embarrassing as I'm in front of Draco.

"Oskar?" Draco questions, a slight tone of hurt in his voice.

I nod, Draco's hand still cupping my chin as he looks at me with a growing flame in his eyes. "Do-Don't l—let him to—touch me again." I whimper, my bottom lip quivering immensely. Draco let's go of my chin, then effortlessly stands up with me in his arms.

Draco carries me into his bathroom, then carefully places me on the cold counter, the icy sensation of the smooth stone making me jolt. "What?" Draco asks, his eyebrows furrowing in worry that he hurt me.

"Co—Cold." I shakily say, Draco sighs from the sight of my wrist. "Draco."

He hums softly in response.

"I'm dru—drunk." I whimper, watching Draco as he kneels down a retrieves thin looking bandaids from the cabinet. He stands back up, conveying an expression of guilt. 

"I know." Draco informs while he peels back the thin plastic from the strip of bandaid. Lightly, he holds my arm and looks at the cut thoughtfully as he positions the strip on one side of the slash, then pulls it to the other side and tugs my skin closed. 

I sniffle, "H—How."

"You smell like alcohol." He admits, then places five of the thin strip bandaids along the cut— the plasters holding my skin together. "Ray, what happened?" His voice was calm, I feel my lips quiver instantly from his question. 

"I— I di..didn't want t-to." The tears flow down my cheeks, "It hu..hurt, Draco." 

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Draco grumbles under his breath before picking me off the counter, he places me on the ground and turns to leave the bathroom, "I'll be right back."

I sob, "N-No, ple—ase don't...leave m-me." 

"Ray, I promise I'll be back." He tries to reassure me, but I didn't want to alone again. Draco turns around once more, however this time I grab ahold of his hand. "I'll get Ves."

Hot and tingly tears trickle along my cheeks, seemingly endless. "St—Stay un..until she's he—here." 

Fear was consuming me, I didn't want to be alone. Maybe, I'm annoying Draco, however I can't ponder on it— I'm too drunk and hurt to think. 

"Come." Draco intertwines our fingers, then steadily guides me out the bathroom and to the dorm door. "He's not here right now, trust me. He's in detention, you're okay." He reassures while he opens the door, then leads me down the hall to Theo's dorm. 

My cries were quieter now, thank god. 

Draco knock on the door, he looks down at me as he waits for them to answer. "Why did you tell me?" He questions with noticeable concern, his eyebrows still furrowed and the expression of sheer guilt plastered upon his face.

"Scared." I whimper, Draco sighs then gently pulls me against him. He pulls me away after a few seconds, his hands shifting up to my face and I instantly flinch. Draco halts what he was doing, then slowly brings his thumbs to under my eyes and wipes away the flowing tears. 

The door opens, an extremely tired looking Theo stands before us; along with an exhausted Vesper, but the tiredness drops from her features as her eyes widen and examine my bloody appearance. "What the fuck?!" Vesper says in fear while she steps towards me, "Draco! I— What?!"

"I'll explain in a sec, take her to my room and clean her." He instructs to Vesper before he begins to walk off, "I'll be back." And with that Draco strolls off, not caring about the blood I accidentally got onto his white school shirt.

Vesper gulps, her eyes widen in distress. "I—" She stutters, unable to get the words out. Theo steps forward, grasping my hand and leads me back to Draco's dorm.

"You're okay." Theo smiles, I faintly nod in understanding. 

"I— I don't understand." Vesper walks behind us, her voice shakier than ever.

"Neither do I, but Draco does." Theo shrugs, stroking his thumb up and down along my skin.

Theo guides me into Draco's dorm, then towards his bathroom. "Don't tell me you want me to shower her too?" He chuckles at Vesper, however she snaps out from the shocked state.

"Of course not." Vesper scoffs at Theo before taking my hand from his, "Come on, Ray."

"Do you think Draco will care if Ray wears his clothes?" Theo asks, his hand on the sliding door.

Vesper shakes her head, "Obviously not, did you see how fucking mad he looked?!" 

Theo scoffs, "Wouldn't want to be in the path of that." Theo closes the door after he finishes speaking, then Vesper locks it. She looks at me with worry before pulling me into an embrace.

"I don't know what happened, but Draco's going to deal with it." She explains softly, her hand gently rubbing my back in reassurance. I nod against her, then Vesper pulls away and steps beside me to turn the shower on.

Draco's POV

Where the fuck was he?!

I've been wandering the halls for fucking five minutes. 

It's stupidly late for a detention, and I'm bound to receive one too soon— but I could give less of a shit. I can't believe I didn't see it. That's why he's been avoiding the topic about, why he's been stupidly cocky about it.

He fucking raped her.

Caused her so much pain that she came to my dorm crying, drunk and a deep, bloody cut on her wrist. 

Why'd she go to my dorm though?

Finally, I see Oskar strolling down the hall I was heading through. He seemed like he wasn't worried at all, as though he didn't care what he did.

"Argento." I yell, only being a few feet from him. Before he has the chance to speak, I grab his collar and shove him against the corridor wall.

"What the fuck?!" Argento retaliates, attempting to nudge me off him.

I scoff, "Are you serious? Why the fuck did you rape her?!" 

His fall drops, the warm in his skin vanishing as he turns a pale white. "I—I... she wanted it." He anxiously blurts.

"Fuck you." I spit, instantly slamming my fist into his jaw and releasing my grip on his collar, to which he descends to the floor. "If you talk to her or even go near her, I will fucking kill you." 

"Do you fucking understand?!" I spit.

"She'll want me again, just watch." He smirks.

Is he fucking serious? I was being kind about this, but not anymore.

Raven's POV

Vesper changed me into one of Draco's Quidditch hoodies, it's really big on me as it reaches my mid thigh— but it was comfortable. We were sitting on the sofa, with Vesper kneeling in front of me and fiddling with my hands; she wants me to tell her, but I can't say it again, it hurts my heart to talk about. 

"It—It hurts, Ves." I feel a tear trail down my cheek, to which Vesper leans forward and wipes it away.

Suddenly, the door bursts open, making all three of us jump."Sorry." Draco mumbles, he then closes the door gently. He makes his way towards us while Vesper stands up and sits herself beside Theo. Draco seats himself next to me, I shuffle on the sofa cushions and lay on my side; resting my head upon his thigh. I notice him suck in a breath, so I go to sit up. "It's okay." Draco rakes his fingers through my damp hair, the calming sensation inducing me to relax and lay my head on his thigh again. 

"Draco," Vesper says with annoyance, "Why do you know before me? Why happened? Why's she drunk?!"

"Calm down." Draco huffs, the tips of his fingers gliding along the side of my face. "I don't want why she came here first, but I'm glad she did. I have no fucking idea why she's drunk."

"And... what happened?" she queries, her voice no longer shaky but now controlled and worried. 

Draco inhales sharply, "Argento...... he— raped her." I hear Vesper gasp.

"What?!" Vesper yells in shock, causing me to jump.

"Stop being so fucking loud," Draco seethes, "Quieten down."

Vesper sighs, "Sorry."

I couldn't really feel right now, well feelings I couldn't. For the first time in my life, there were no thoughts in my mind and nor were they whizzing around and stressing me out. It was probably because I'm drunk, or that I finally told someone about him. But the sensation of Draco gently rubbing his finger tips along the fading bruise on the side of my face was bringing me a sense of comfort, and it helped.

"So.. what now? Do we tell Dumbledore?" Vesper asks.

"No." I murmur, drawing circles atop Draco's thigh with my finger. "Father will know, i'll get hurt."

"I think I may of got the message to Argento, to leave her alone." Draco tells, brushing a few strands of hair behind my ear.

"What did you do?" Theo asks in a sort of shock, "The cunt doesn't listen to anyone."

"Well— he wasn't moving when I was done with him." He shrugs in a way that it wasn't important or that he'd get suspended.

Vesper huffs, "Merlin, Draco— I.. thanks I guess."

"It's fine," Draco's fingers trail down to my jaw, where they softly graze over the bruise Father gave me.

⋆  
⋆

I was really excited to write this chapter!! Honesty could not wait to show that Draco does care about Raven, but he hides it.

I'm also thankful I've made Raven talk about it! I don't think i'd know what to write if I didn't!

She also deserves to heal, and since this is a smut, I can finally begin writing towards that!


	24. Chapter 24

"You deserved it." Father yelled, his booming voice echoing throughout the icy, caliginous bedroom.

I looked up at the man with pure terror, he strode towards my little figure huddled into a corner, my legs up against my chest and hugging my arms around them tightly. 

He kneeled in front of me, "You deserved what Oskar did."

Father's expression was shrouded in fury, his top lip twitched from the erupting volcano of rage.

Another figure stepped from the darkness, my eyes widening on the sight of Oskar Argento.

"Do you want me to do it again? You better enjoy it this time." Argento laughed.

My body jolts as I awaken, sighing in relief when I realise it had only been a bad dream; not real. I feel the coolness of the rooms air prickle the skin of my pale face, the icy sensation is harsh upon my eyes. The bright sun that beamed through the black lake's murky waters illuminates the room, creating a light that's soft on my sensitive eyes. I wiggle around beneath the cool sheets, but a warm, cosy blanket coincides with the coolness and inducing a perfect temperature.

Rubbing my eyes with the icy tips of my fingers, they steadily flutter fully open and I begin to glance around at my surroundings. Wait what? I sit up, reminiscing over last night to figure out why I'm currently in Draco's bed. I groan when it all hits me like a truck, my drunken brain stumbled to his room and confessed everything to him— Merlin, he probably hates me.

The gentle sound of trickling water engulfs my hearing, immediately soothing the thumping headache that pierced my temples. Divulging my hearing to the comforting audibles of pattering water, I lightly run circles along my temples. Tugging the sheets off my body, the arctic autumn air clouds across my bare legs. Shivering from the sudden change of temperature, I shuffle to the edge of the bed and slip off to my feet. The habitual contact of the cold floor is void, I glance down at my feet and soon realise Vesper's black fluffy socks were on my feet, which is strange since they're her favourite and she never lends them to anyone. 

Rising to my feet, a state of curiosity filling my mind as I attempt to avoid the incoming thoughts of overthinking. Hauling the sheets back, laying the hem perfectly along the bottom of the pillows, my eyes land on a clean ashtray that situated on Draco's nightstand. A cigarette packet lay beside it, the lid flipped open and displaying the contents of it being half full.

"You can have one." A voice says from across the room, the abruptness causing me to jump. I peer behind me, my eyes happening upon Draco, who was only wearing grey sweatpants. Smiling in appreciation, I turn back around and slide a cigarette from the packet. Using the metal lighter that was also there, I position the filter amidst my lips and ignite the flame. Hovering a little orange flame against the end of the cigarette, I inhale deeply as the tip glows a bright flaming tangerine colour. 

I glance to Draco briefly, our eyes meeting as he exits the bathroom, devoid of a towel in his hands. Sighing, I decide to wander his room with inquisition. Beside his desk, a heavily filled bookshelf was positioned with all six shelves packed with books. The bottom shelf seemed more crammed than the others, so I chose to investigate that shelf first. Inhaling a long draw of the cigarette, I stop when I reach the bookshelf, then carefully descend to the floor and kneel. 

I hear footsteps radiate from behind me, however I'm too fixated on knowing which genre of books interested Draco; weirdly, it interested me to be knowledgeable on others favourite novels. "What are you doing?" Draco asks, I look behind me and spot Draco perched on the end corner of his bed, his eyes riveting on mine in confusion.

Shifting my eyes back to the bottom shelf, "Looking, if that's okay?" The smoke escapes my mouth as I speak.

"Go ahead." He says calmly.

Rubbing the tip of my index finger along the spine of the books, I instantly take note on the amount of astronomy books he owns. The bottom shelf seemed to consist of astronomy; famous astronomers novels, simple information textbooks— but mostly consisted of the biographies of known astronomers findings, which is really interesting. "You like astronomy?" I turn to look at Draco, to which he patently shrugs. I hum quietly, enthralling my gaze upon the second shelf.

Once more, I glide my index finger across the hardback spines, mostly because it helped my eyes stay concentrated. The second shelf had lingered up to the astrology genre and mixed with Arithmancy textbooks. Lifting the cigarette to my lips again, I inhale deeply and hold the smoke in my lungs— the nicotine reaches my nerves and brain, inducing a sensation of alleviation upon me; my body immediately calms and loses an tension.

Lifting myself onto my knees to be easily level with the third shelf, my eyes beam with the sight of romance novels. All of them were jammed into the three feet of shelving space, even some stacked atop others from the zero shelving area. My gaze lands on my top ten favourite romance, Outlander, and it being my version of the book— not the one Draco had let me borrow but took it back from me. Smiling, I skim over the other half.

I spot A Rose in Winter, which is about a woman torn between two men— it surprised me that Draco read so much romance novels, he never struck me as one who's fond of them at all. Not to be offensive, but Draco seemed like the type of reader to divulge their focus into non-fiction or novels about mystery and crime— never lovey dovey romance.

The remainder three shelves were mostly school textbooks or more astronomy— clearly he keeps the romance ones in an unpredictable place, three doesn't seem like a predictable number to me. As I stand, the rush of nicotine runs through the sudden blood flood, causing my body to dwell with tranquility. Feeling curious still, and avoiding Draco's very strong stare on my back, I saunter to in front of his desk. Everything was so neat; placed perfectly, parchments stacked evenly, books atop each other from biggest to smallest.

"Winters." Draco says, tearing me from my curious state. I whip around, ambling to the bedside and grabbing the ashtray before taking a seat beside Draco.

"Yeah?" I raise my eyebrows, taking a draw from the cigarette and tapping the ash into into the little circular tray.

Draco parts his lips then inhales sharply, "Why did it take you a week to tell me?" 

I gulp, furrowing my eyebrows as I ponder if I should be truthful. However, seeing as I spilled the honest and dreadful truth yesterday— I might as well. "I was.. um- I wanted to deal with it."

"Deal with it?" He queries on what I said, I glance at the floor when keeping the eye contact become difficult. Inhaling the smoke, I close my eyes and allow the vague smoke to escape my mouth. 

"I— I thought I'd be able to deal with it, like I did with Father," I tilt my head up, fixating my eyes upon the ceiling, the sight of smoke dancing and dwindling in the crisp air. "Obviously not." I huff, drawing a long inhale from the cigarette before reaching the end. With the ashtray in my lap, I press the end of the smoke into the metal and extinguish the subtle blaze. I stand up, stepping to my right and placing the ashtray on the bedside. "Look, I'm sorry for— troubling you." I smile, then begin wandering past Draco but he softly grasps my left hand. 

"Stay." Draco instructs, his voice vanished from stern and loathing tones. 

I nod, "Okay." Listening to Draco, I take a seat where I originally was.

"Does it hurt?" He asks, his eyebrows furrowed with concern.

"Does what hurt?" I question with confusion, however a sudden pain of a faint burning sensation shrouds my left wrist. Gently, I tug back the sleeve of the oversized hoodie, my eyes instantly land upon the slash that was vertical on my wrist. A few strip bandaids lay over the cut, hauling the skin together to reduce the scarring. "Oh." I peer up at Draco with shame.

Am I stupid? I got drunk, tried to send myself into the world of eternal life and came to Draco for help? Out of all people?

"Why did I come here?" I knit my eyebrows, Draco simply shrugs. We're ripped from the silence of the room as a knock radiates throughout the room. Draco yawns lowly, taking his wand from his pocket and muttering something under his breath. The door opens slowly, however the movement is heightened as Ivy rushes in. Her eyes flicker to Draco, then me, and I notice her waterline fill with tears.

Ivy bolts towards me and stands directly in front of me, her hands cup my face gently as tears begin flowing down her tan cheeks. "Ivy?" I falter, growing worried that his strong girl was presently sobbing in front of Draco and I. Draco flicks his wrist, to which the door closes and he stands up before ambling to the sofa. I watch him slip a cigarette out from the other packet on the coffee table, then fixate my eyes on Ivy again.

"I- I didn't warn you enough." Ivy murmurs, her hands caressing my face softly and she sobs louder when her brown eyes scan over the bruise beside my eye. "He— He did it to me, t—that's why I was so— mean about it." 

My eyes widen, she's been through this too? I suppose it makes sense now, it explains why she was so relentless in keeping me away from him and endlessly warning me about him too. I felt guilty, I should've listened to her; but I didn't, I was delusional and actually thought he liked me— I'm only a trophy to him. 

What is wrong with me?

"I'm sorry, Ivy." I frown in sorrow, my words causing Ivy to fall to the ground and rest her chin upon my knees. In a consoling manner, I rake my fingers through her hair while Ivy gazes up at me with sheer remorse. Her forearms lay above my mid-thighs, conveying saddened looks as she sobbed quietly. "It's not your fault."

Ivy sighs shakily, "I know."

"What are you going to do?" Ivy asks concernedly, kneeling and bringing her chin off my knees. She wipes her tears away, looking at me with a weak smile forming.

I shrug, "Nothing."

Her face drops in an instance, "Why?! He'll get away with it, Ray! Yo—you have to tell someone."

"I can't." I gulp, tugging the sleeves on the green hoodie further down and clenching my fists; the fabric stopping me from digging my nails into the skin of my palm. 

"Why?!" She retorted, anger clearly brimming within her.

"Emerson— She'll tell you when she's ready." Draco interrupts, my eyes immediately shifting to the left and viewing the smoke escape his mouth. 

Ivy stands, she wipes her tears from her face once more before strolling to the door and exiting.

"Oh." I thread my fingers through my hair, then decide to make my way towards Draco.

I take a seat beside him, bringing my legs onto the sofa and crossing them. Draco glances at me blankly, before he reaches his hand over and I flinch. His hand drops slowly, resting atop my knee and an expression of desolation plastered across his features. The smoke escapes his lips, slowly diminishing into the air. His hair was still damp, a few droplets of water trickling onto his bare shoulders. Purple, faint hues lay under his eyes to indicate he evidently hadn't had much sleep. My eyes wander down, rapidly meeting with specks of green tints visible on his knuckles, purple and red bruises swelling around the deep, green marks.

Carefully, I reach forward while remaining eye contact with Draco. I briefly glance down, lightly caressing my fingers along his knuckles before looking up again. "You didn't need to do that." I admit with guilt, still skimming my fingers across the bruises. 

"Don't be stupid, of course I did." Draco snickers, I twist my lips to the side and tilt my head to the left, resting the side against the sofa cushion.

"Mal—"

"Draco, to you." He chimes in, quickly correcting me. I smile, knowing he didn't hate me as much I thought, seeing as I've earned the first name basic. 

"Draco." I correct, acquiring a soft hum from him. I gulp, watching the vague smoke expel from his mouth. "Did you mean what you said last night?" Anxiously asking, fearing his reply.

He draws his bottom lip between his teeth momentarily, "Yes." 

My bottom lip quivers from the mere thought of Argento, "Wh...What if he tries to talk to me?" I quaver, fiddling with my fingers in my lap.

"Then I'll kill him." Draco shrugs in a way that the consequences or action meant nothing to him. 

"Oh." I fret, tugging on my bottom lip to stop it from shaking.

Draco sighs, "I don't want you to get the wrong idea, okay? I'm doing this because you don't deserve more pain, not because I like you or whatever." 

I nod, "I know." 

"I'll leave now, I want to see Ves." I awkwardly smile, standing up and brushing the hoodie down as it had became uneven. Ambling to the door, I turn around before I exit. "Bye." Draco merely nods in response, then I leave the door and close the door behind me lightly. 

⋆  
⋆


	25. Chapter 25

Angel was told about the situation by Vesper, considering the girl came to her dorm to find dried droplets of blood on the bathroom counter— and Angel freaked out, so Vesper told her. When I returned to my dorm after leaving Draco, I was hauled into the tightest embrace by Angel as she muttered curses at herself for not noticing Argento's vile doings. I assured her it wasn't her fault, as well as promising her I'm fine, which in all honestly; I'm not fine. 

Being with Draco last night felt good, like I knew I was protected with him. As though no harm would come to me if I stayed in his presence, that's supposedly strange I guess. I've never really felt protected by a male before, only Vesper made me feel safe, but now Draco does too. To be truthful, I am not sure why though. Even after Argento, my father, Draco's father and majority of the boys in this school— I can still feel protected by a boy. I'm not entirely certain to why I do, however I just do. 

None of us have seen him this morning, so we all guessed he had gone to the Great Hall or slept in a classroom— but that conversation on Argento got shot  
down my Draco extremely quickly, even before Ivy would announce the best medieval torture devices and methods to use on him. They would of been interesting to here, and imagine of course, however Draco seemed to get very infuriated by the topic of Argento; and I don't wholly believe any of us wanted to push his buttons today.

Ivy had understood my reasoning to not informing Headmaster Dumbledore or any Professor for a matter— but doesn't know of my reasoning. Vesper plainly promised her that she and Angel will find out when I'm ready to, which should probably be soon. I trust them now, they deserve to know— and Draco knows, so that undoubtedly annoys and confused them. 

Honestly, I'm hoping that Argento's unwanted presence drives him out of the school and he leave forever. Ivy promised that if he doesn't leave willingly, she'll tell Headmaster Dumbledore about her experience with him instead, which will definitely expel or suspend him. Obviously, I begged her that she wouldn't need to do such a thing, but Ivy is a relentless and determined girl... so arguing with her on that is pointless. 

This morning was strange, even stranger when I comprehended what Ivy and Angel were wearing when I entered the dorm. Ivy wore a pretty wooly, dark beige turtleneck and the material felt like you were touching clouds or fluffy kittens. Along with that, she wore musky denim jeans and her favourite autumn shoes. (Ivy only them in special occasions; Hogsmeade), the shoes are a black leather with no sign of wear as she barely wore them, a yellow and black tag was stitched the back with the words 'Dr Martens'; Ivy promised to buy me a pair for Christmas. 

Matching the strange, prettily dress up party that Ivy had going, Angel was attired well too. She wore a plain, loose white crop top along with baggy jeans that are dusky green shade, then a three tone flannel of red, blue and cream— however it was quite worn, so it was hard to tell. Angel wore her usual shoes, the Dr Martens, but hers were more of a boot.

"We're going to Hogsmeade!" Angel beamed after I finally asked what the occasion was. Usually, I'd be bummed and want to stay in bed, however I actually want to go today. I need to get some good memories of Hogwarts to overthrow the Argento incident. 

It was also nine o'clock in the morning, so plenty of time to turn this day into a day different from the others — enjoyable and good.

"What should I wear?" I ask, standing in front of my wardrobe that's terribly sparse of pretty clothes, unlike the other two. 

Angel giggles, "Ray, borrow mine. I promise I have clothes that don't show your arse, you have proof." She twirls and points to her outfit, in which she was practically covered head to toe in material. 

"I'll pick something." Ivy smiles while she walks over to Angel's wardrobe and opens it with ease. I saunter to Angel's bed, where the wardrobe was against the wall to the right side of her bed. Angel sat on the corner, her eyes fascinated on what outfit Ivy would pick out. "Ooo, there's a cute short sleeve here." Ivy holds a shirt to her side, it's a striking red and seemed tight fitting. 

"Uh— I'd rather long sleeves.." I awkwardly inform, to which Ivy nods and places it back on the clothing hanger rack. 

Ivy takes a short, red dress with cream lines on the fabric to create a box like pattern. The sleeves were short, however, and only covered half of my upper arm. Ivy wanders over, then places the dress to the side of me before proceeding to my wardrobe. She racks through the copious jumpers and hoodies I own, eventually hauling an oversized grey zip up jumper out. Once again, she situated the garment beside me then smiles.

"Here." Ivy says, seemingly proud of herself. "It's cold out, so I doubt you'll take the jumper off."

I nod, picking up the dress and jumper before making my way into the bathroom. Carefully hoisting off Draco's hoodie, being wary of the wound on my wrist, I place it on the countertop. Draping the dress over my head, I push my arms through the holes and swivel the fabric down. Thankfully, it's a modest length compared to most of Angel's bold dresses, this dress an adequate amount of inches past my backside. I slip the jumper on, cuffing the sleeves as it's quite oversized. 

"This okay?" I step out of the bathroom, Angel claps happily and Ivy's face beams with glee.

"I'm a fashion designer." Ivy smiles, then she quickly rummages through the top drawer of Angel's chest of drawers. Ivy retrieves black socks, folded into a ball. I wander over to Angel's bed again, taking a seat on the edge. 

"Who's coming?" I question, catching the socks Ivy softly threw at me. 

"Um..... Me, Ivy, Luna..." Angel trails on while I slip Vesper's fluffy socks off my feet and replace them with the much thinner black socks, to which they ended a few inches below my knee. "Is there anyone you'd like to invite?" She asks, I slide my black converse on after Ivy drops them at my feet. 

I gulp, preparing for their doubts. "Draco." I glance up at Ivy, who's mouth dropped, and Angel, who's conveying an unconvinced expression. 

Angel clears her throat, "Draco?"

"I feel safe around him, please." I stand up, embarrassment rushing through me from their shocked and doubtful appearances. 

Ivy nods, "Yeah, of course, that's if he agrees." Angel chuckles and hums in agreement to Ivy. "I'll go ask him, you two start walking down." Ivy informs, and we all walk to the dorm door.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Ivy, Angel, Luna and I all stood outside Hogwarts waiting for Draco. Ivy ensured he was coming, but wasn't sure where he was or what was taking so long. Angel and Ivy were growing impatient, however Luna and I were calmly awaiting for his presence.

Roughly around ten minutes had past since Ivy arrived here after talking with Draco, and we were beginning to lose hope. Until Luna sighs in relief, to which we all turn around to see Draco and Theo steadily advancing towards us.

"Took them fucking long enough." Angel rolls her eyes, the face of utter annoyance upon her dainty features. 

Luna giggles, "Angeline, I believe we waited barely fifteen minutes."

Angel scoffs, "That's a long time for boys to get ready."

Draco's POV  
a few minutes earlier to arriving

"Draco," Argento held his hands out in defence, "You have to believe me, she wanted it. I don't know why she's lying." He staggers on his words, giving me even more reason to not believe a word he spoke. 

I roll my eyes, "Just fuck off, I don't believe you." I rake my fingers through my hair, realising the time and immediately note that I'm late. "Fuck." I mutter under my breath, swiftly strolling up the Theo's dorm with Argento trailing behind me. 

He's pathetic for trying to justify himself, I would rather he admit it instead of him begging for forgiveness and attempting to earn my trust in him— which will never happen. It's embarrassing that he's trying this hard to explain the 'situation', which I don't understand why he's still trying since neither Raven nor Ivy were lying. Both the girls never cry, Raven usually goes blank and stares at you, while Ivy just laughs it off or some shit— but this morning Ivy cried and last night Raven cried.

I have no reason to believe either of them are lying, Argento's cocky and disgusting enough to do such sickening things. To be honest, I'm surprised I never saw it— girls always got more distressed over him than Blaise or I, it was practically in plain fucking sight and I never noticed it. Now look what happened, I am like a fucking bodyguard to Raven and I didn't think that'd ever happen. 

Also, it's always believe the victim. Correct? 

Argento huffs, "She's lying."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP." I turn to him, his irritating self pissing me off more than words can explain. For some reason, Argento smirks and parts his lips to say something, but I can't tolerate his voice any longer.

He falls to the floor in a louder thud, my hand shooting in pain from the already present bruises. "You are fucking insane?" I seethe, "Stand up." Argento just sits there, staring at me with pure amusement on his face. I groan under my breath, then grab him by the collar and pull him up myself.

"What? You in love with her now? huh?" Argento eggs on, causing me to be bewildered to why he's doing this.

I scoff, "Fuck no." 

Then I couldn't endure his face any longer either.

After multiple punches to the fucking sickening student, Theo eventually answers the door and hauls me off of Argento. "Fucking Merlin, Draco." Theo sighs, patting my back in reassurance. "We're gonna be late." He informs, walking past Argento's limp body and advancing down the boys dormitory corridor.

I glare down at Argento; his top lip busted and bleeding profusely, bruised nose and countless cuts on his face. There's fresh bruises forming over the ones from last night, no doubt causing him a great deal of pain, however he deserves every single drop of the agony. "Leaving this school would be the smartest idea, Argento." I spit, then follow Theo out of the common room.

Theo and I walk for the five minutes through the school until we're at the front, the girls already there and Ivy looking quite impatient. We amble down the stairs, I instantly notice Raven's eyes on my hands and her face drops. 

"Was— Was he there?" Raven asks with a shaky voice, I watch as Luna clutches her hand to soothe her. 

"Yeah, but I dealt with him. It's fine." I inform, Raven weakly smiles. 

Angel coughs, "We're going now."

Ivy laughs in astonishment, "Yes we fucking are, let's go snails."

⋆ ⋆

There's roughly ten more minutes of walking until we arrived at Hogsmeade, and if I'm honest; the girls seemed a lot more excited compared to Theo and I. I decided to come because of Raven, she clearly, but strangely, feels safe around me. She hasn't really told me that, however her saying she wants me to 'protect' her definitely implies she feels safer with me around. Which, I suppose, I'm not entirely bothered by it. 

I feel bad for her, and I hate that I do. It shouldn't, but knowing she can relate to me is very aggravating. She hasn't attempted to relate yet, nonetheless, she will sometime soon. Although, I hope she doesn't, conversations about father piss me off— the only reason students become known of it was when Argento saw my father torturing me because I lost a Quidditch game in third year, so it's that pricks fault that people know about it. Fortunately, no one suspects a thing anymore, I've managed to cover it up pretty well; just like Raven does, except barely no one knows about her. 

To be honest, it's sad. It's depressing to see her walk around the school halls as though she lives a perfectly normal life with a perfectly normal family, sort of scary to comprehend how much shit people can easily hide. Raven intrigues me though, however I also hate her for something she possibly accidentally did; whatever, whether it was on purpose or not, it caused my life to turn to shit. 

Theo had jogged up to Angel, Ivy and Luna a few seconds ago, leaving Raven to silently wander along the path of oranges and browns leafs alone. "Winters." I call her, she instantly stops and turns, waiting for me to reach her. She smiles while we begin walking together.

It hurts me that Argento did that to her, I shouldn't told me to back off or some shit. She's so.. innocent and pure, barely knowing anything about sex or drugs or any of that crap. I wouldn't be surprised if Argento ruined it for her, possibly for the rest of her life too. Raven deserves to be treated well, treated how she should've been since she was a little girl; you know, make up for all the times she was punched instead of hugged, or spat on instead of being read a bedtime story. I'd hate to admit it, but Raven has it worser than me— I have a mother that cares, she may be terrified of father and unable to stand up for herself and me, but she cares. Vesper's told me so much about their mother and how the most caring words she says are 'Gimbel, clean up Raven', and that's fucking heartbreaking. 

However, she has Vesper and I know Vesper cares for her— so at least she has someone that loves her.

"You seem deep in thought." Raven breaks the comforting silence, her voice still audible of a slight quiver. 

"Always am." I admit, then the sudden contact of my hand in Raven's brings my eyes down to meet hers. Her lips were twisted to the side, running the tips of her fingers along the dried blood and dark bruises on my knuckles. 

Raven's sapphire eyes twinkle in the sun rays that peak through the dense trees, "Does it hurt?" She asks softly, still holding my hand in hers and observing the marks.

"No." I reply, then, for some reason, I unexpectedly intertwine our fingers and drop them to our side, stopping her from looking at them any longer. "I don't want to looking at them."

Her brows knit together, "Why?" She doesn't appear to be reacting to our hands held in one another's, more focused on why I didn't want her looking at them.

I shrug, "Don't want you worrying." 

"I always worry, it's a problem." Raven giggles, gradually stepping closer to me as we walk side by side. "Draco?" She softly says, her voice speaking my name causing a fire of adoration to ignite within me, but I immediately brush it away. 

I hum in response, glancing down at her petite figure. I'd be lying if I said she wasn't attractive, because she clearly is. She just always looks to serene, even though she's fighting multiple internal battles which will possibly forever remain at war with her. When she was sleeping, I couldn't bring myself to wake her up this morning and ask her to leave; I just couldn't, I wish I could. As much as I'm starting to bear her presence, I don't want Raven to get the wrong idea between us. Me helping her is nothing more than me helping me, and Raven seems to frequently get the wrong idea— seeing as what happened with Argento. 

"Um.. Ves told me there's a reason to why you don't particularly like me," Raven begins, I mentally curse at Vesper for allowing her mouth to spill out rants. "What's the reason?"

I huff in annoyance, "I'll tell you some other time."

Raven nods in agreement, then remains her eyes on the ground the entirety of the way.

⋆ ⋆

Currently, I had been left alone with Raven, thanks to Ivy and Angel's dislike to reading; how can you dislike reading? Luna and Theo were probably with them as well, all remaining at The Three Broomsticks while Raven and I wandered to this little bookstore in Hogsmeade. It's location is pretty hidden, being quite a few minutes from the main stores that students visited; Honeydukes, all those. I wasn't even sure if other students knew of this bookstore, but of course Raven knows— she knows about bookstores and libraries all over England.

The bell of the store rings subtly as Raven pushes the door open, the warmth of the small store immediately clouds over the cool prickle on my skin from the icy temperature outside. Raven holds the door open for me, causing me to furrow my eyebrows at her in confusion.

"What?" Raven questions, tilting her head slightly from my baffled expression. 

"Why did you hold the door for me?" I ask, watching as she lets it go as I enter. 

She shrugs, "I always have to for my parents, also people of higher class than me." 

I sigh, "Don't hold the door for me, Winters."

"Okay." Raven nods, sending a brief smile before she begins steadily wandering through the aisles. 

Strolling behind her, watching as her index finger runs alongs the spines of the books and her eyes viewing the titles intensely. Occasionally, she'd come to a halt and slip a book out of its place before reading the blurb on the back; then placing it back perfectly. 

"Draco." Raven says, turning back momentarily as we start ambling down the third aisle. I hum in response, observing her as her eyes shift down to my hands that were in my pockets, before skimming her eyes along the books again. "Where did you find the rewritten Outlander novel?" 

"Some bookstore in London, why?" I retort, to which Raven shrugs patently.

She sighs quietly, "I've never seen it before."

I chuckle lowly, "Yeah, it's not entirely popular amongst readers. Apparently it's too long and was unnecessary to be rewritten." Raven turns around, a small smile perking up on her pink lips. "I think their just pussies though, it's not too long at all. It's better in my opinion."

Raven giggles as she comes to the fourth, the final, aisle. "Their pussies for not wanting to read it?" She saunters towards the middle of the aisle, stopping in front of the romance novels. 

"Of course," I scoff, viewing her crystal eyes flicker over the books slowly, "What's wrong with a little more descriptive words?" 

Raven smiles while I lean against the back wall shelves beside her, leaving only a foot between us. "There's nothing wrong with more descriptive words, I liked the rewritten version more; even if I only read five chapters." 

A rush of guilt runs through my veins, "Do you want to finish it?"

"Yeah, I suppose so." she nods hesitantly, possibly wary of my response. 

"When we get back, I'll give it to you." I shrug, watching Raven's face beam with joy.

She tucks a few strands of her hair behind her ear while her eyes fixate on the novels spines, "Thank you." 

Raven ended up borrowing this novel called 'Firestarter' by Stephen King, and I never took Raven as someone who enjoys horror books; but you learn something new everyday with this girl. Even though she 'borrowed' it from the kind, elderly man who owned the bookstore, I quickly rushed back inside to pay for it for her— she may be annoyed with me, but she deserves to be bought something in her life. 

We all met up again, then advanced to Hogwarts again. Like before; Theo, Luna, Ivy and Angel were all ahead while Raven remained by my side, her nose already stuck into the novel. 

"Winters." I say, obtaining her attention as she glances up at me momentarily. "How many books do you own?" 

Her lips twist to the side, "Um.. maybe ten or so? Most are school textbooks, I usually just borrow novels."

I knit my eyebrows together, "How come?" 

Raven sighs, folding the corner of her book like she always did then shuts the book, holding it against her chest. "My parents don't give me money, only to Ves." Raven begins, keeping her eyes off mine as she talked. "Ves gives me some money, but I don't want to spend it on books— I dislike borrowing though, I wish I could help out peoples small businesses, y' know?" 

I smile at her, thinking intently on how considerate she was. "I bought that book for you, if you want more just let me know."

Raven gasps, "Draco! You don't need to do that!"

"Shush, deal with it." I smirk at her shocked expression, then softly nudge her shoulder as we walk.

"Thank you." Her cheeks glow a pink hue, her eyes trailing over the leafs that crumbled under her feet.


	26. Chapter 26

Raven's POV

If I'm being completely truthful, I was confounded from Draco mentioning that he bought 'Firestarter' for me, no ones ever done that before. I'm even more bewildered over the fact that he'd buy me novels whenever I wanted, which I might stray from doing. It feels wrong, me being a halfblood and him a pureblood; I have grown up with the constant criticism of my blood purity, endlessly reminded that I don't deserve respect from families of purebloods— nor respect from anyone for that matter. 

I can't seem to fathom that someone of higher superiority wanted to spend their money on me, not even my own family did. Honestly, being allowed to eat dinner at the table instead of my room was the bare minimum in my household— receiving money was frowned upon, including respect and treated like a human; I was deprived from basic human rights at home, so someone wanting to buy me things feels categorically unfitting to me. Honestly, Draco's presence near me felt like I was breaking fathers rules, associating with purebloods corresponded to an consequential crime. 

At home, during fathers business gatherings, sociable events, meetings or any other type of occasion— I'd be commanded to remain in my room at all times. Sometimes, I snuck out to find food, seeing as I'd typically starve during these occasions and I would earn stern glares or confused states. I'm either a mystery, a secret even, to some wealthy families or I'm known and hated by them— no in between.

In this present moment, I sat quietly in Transfigurations while reading the book I borrowed, but had bought for me, from the store. It was really interesting, I had read some horror/ thriller novels in the past and found them to be quite gripping; suspense seems to captivate me. With these sort of novels, it's awfully difficult to compel yourself from flickering to the last page to see the ending, but the build up of tension and suspense is worth it. Obviously, Stephen King's my favourite horror author, he's extremely talented in creating enough tension— it's impossible to put the book down, honestly. 

"Morning, Winters." Draco says from beside me while he takes a seat, I briefly smile and glance at him before fixating my focus to the captivating words of the novel. "Good book?" He chuckles, realising my complete concentration.

"You have no idea." I confirm, gently flicking over to the next page. When I realise it's the next chapter, I fold the corner and shut the book, which is much to my dismay; trust me. 

Students begin entering the classroom, transfigurations used to be quite irritating and easily my least favourite class— however it was slightly better considering Draco was less of a dickhead, except my name was rather popular amongst Gryffindor boys, so I'm barely ever get a break. 

"Hey Raven." A boy smiles at me as they walk past, my eyes widen at the sight of Harry Potter's cheeks growing blushed as our stares met. I immediately look away, Harry ambles to his desk with the redhead boy; Ron. 

Draco snickers, "Got yourself a little lover?" 

I roll my eyes, "I hope not."

Transfigurations were alright, Professor McGonagall informed the class that the essay was due a week before christmas, which it's now a week into October and December is multiple weeks away. So Merlin knows why the woman's so relentless. 

Fortunately, I have Potions now, that is easily one of my top three favourite subjects. Weirdly though, we hadn't been entirely informed on the assignment task. Since Professor Slughorn was new this year, barely no one could explain why we hadn't received it yet— but I'm sure he would soon.

Angel sat beside me in Potions, with Ivy opposite me and this girl named Daphne beside her— Professor Slughorn seemed to be really fond of group desks, so he spilt us the class into sections of fours and assigned us to a desk. I don't mind group desks, it made everything better since we were one of the back tables.

"Ugh, did you see bloody Minerva glaring at me when she announced the essay due date." Angel groans in annoyance, "Stupid woman doubts me."

I laugh quietly, "That explains why she keeps reminding everyone."

Angel rolls her eyes, "Literally forgot one essay last year and now the woman believes I'm a failure."

"Then remember to hand in your essays, Angeline Fletcher." Ivy mocks Professor McGonagall's voice, causing Angel to grip the desk from utter aggravation. 

Professor Slughorn clears his throat as he stands at the front of the class, waving his wand towards a blackboard where chalk begins to write upon the board. The words were 'Amortentia', girls start to whisper amongst themselves. I knew much of this potion, from all the potion books at home. Two more words transpire beneath it, those being 'Veritaserum' and 'Felix Felicis'.

"Now, I'll be discussing your assignment for this term." Professor Slughorn announces, "It's quite lengthy, but I'm sure you'll all manage."

"The assignment is broken into four sections; research, analysis, practicable and observations." He continues, attaining a few grumbles from students as the work load seemed tedious. "For research, you must break down all aspects of the potion, meaning ingredients and it's uses."

"Analysis must be four parchments worth of information, consisting of your research worded into essay worthy paragraphs." Professor Slughorn proceeds, "Practicable is self explanatory, you'll be concocting the potion of your choice from the three I have assigned."

He clears his throat, "Observations must be essay format, explain what the potions smelt/ looked like. I'll pass around a task sheet." Professor Slughorn finishes, then flicks his wrist in the air with his wand and a single parchment lands in front of all students. "Your partner is the student beside you, you may discuss the favoured potion and begin your research."

"Next lesson I will be discussing each of the three potions!" He announces before the classroom scatters with mere whispers. 

Angel slaps my thigh excitedly, "We must do Amortentia!!" She beams, but keeps her voice at a low whisper. "Oh my, Ray I think Merlin blessed me as your my partner." 

I giggle at her eagerness and sheer glee that I was assigned as her partner, "I'm not doing all the work." I raise my eyebrows at her, nudging her gently as I know she'll probably do the bare minimum. 

"I know..." Angel trails her voice on, "But your doing N.E.W.Ts, our assignment is going to definitely get me an O."

"Very possibly." I shrug, glancing past Angel and seeing Draco joking with Blaise. Shifting my eyes back to a joyful Angel, I open my advanced potions textbook to the contents, then skim my eyes to the Amortentia page number. 

Flicking through the pages, I find the chapter on Amortentia and slide my book to in-between Angel and I. Ivy and Daphne were whispering amongst themselves, probably discussing the potions they'd chose. 

"So, why'd you want to do Amortentia so badly?" I ask Angel, her face lighting up. I knew I was in for a massive rant from Angel about Amortentia. 

"I want to know who I truly desire, that's so interesting to me. Like how you love books, I love knowing who I desire." Angel shrugs as though what she said made complete and utter sense, I nod in response and smile at her. "Don't you?"

I chuckle, "I'd probably smell books." 

"Pfft," Angel rolls her eyes, "Did you not meet anyone during your five years of being at home?" She purses her lips in thought, "Surely you did?"

Shaking my head side to side, "Nope, only really left my house to visit bookstores and libraries, not flirt with the boys on the streets."

Angel softly giggles, "I feel like I know what your type is though."

"Don't ask, Ray." Ivy interrupts, her voice crammed with plea. "You'll ponder on it for too long, Angeline has this terrifying ability to know what your type is." 

Daphne scoffs, "Angeline, try me first."

"Yes, ma'am!" Angel glances at Daphne, her eyebrows furrowing as Daphne props her chin atop her hand and keeps the eye contact with Angel. She thinks for a few seconds, then smirks playfully. "You want someone who's funny and playful, since your home life is quite stern and dull. So you want someone who'll give you spirit and make you feel alive."

"Okay stop." Daphne halts Angel from speaking anymore, causing Angel to chuckle in response. 

I awkwardly smile, "I think I'll pass."

Angel pouts, "Can I do it dinner, please? I'll let you tell me my destiny number."

Sighing in defeat, "Fine." Angel beans with joy. 

Angel and I manage to write down a few things about Amortentia, our research parchments a muddled mess of dot points and cramped in words. Even though I'd probably end up completing the entirety of the assignment, Angel was exciting to be around, as well as the calm aura I felt when I was with her.

The day went by pretty quickly, I was looking forward to telling Angel her destiny number. The day that Ivy and I learnt about the Chaldean table, along with our own destiny numbers, we told Angel all about it. I wanted to figure out Angel's, however she's apparently 'scared' of being called out— seeing as Draco and I's dark side and negatives were quite extreme. It was shamefully true as well, so that's Angel's reasoning, which is totally understandable. 

I sat at dinner with Angel practically bouncing up and down in her chair as she awaits to know what her destiny number is, but I'm sure it's mostly because she wants to tell me my 'type'; she's eager for me to finish so she can expose me. If I'm honest, I have no clue what my type is, boys have never been on my mind to the point where I ponder on what qualities and aspects of men interest me. 

"Okay, Ivy's here, you can begin." Angel smiles, and I nod.

"I just need to calculate it all, give me a sec." I inform, beginning to envision the Chaldean table in my mind and add all the numbers from her name. 

"In your mind?!" Angel says in shock, "Bitch, you're a walking fucking calculator."

I laugh, breaking down the compound number in my mind. "It's two." I announce, bending down to retrieve the Arithmancy book that was in my bag. 

"Ready?" I say, smiling.

Angel nods gleefully, "Of course."

I flick through the pages until I reach the chapter on destiny number two, "Gentle, tactful and almost always diplomatic." I start, watching Angel's eyes widen in shock. "Forgiving and understanding."

"Two can handle even the most crushing burdens and keep going without breaking, then bounce back and continue being their gentle spirit." I smile, knowing how true Angeline's was.

Angel laughs in surprise, "That's fucking terrifying, but continue."

I giggle, "They defend their friends and have an unshakable loyalty." 

"Awe." Angel pouts, her eyes glistening like puppies eyes would.

"They expect to be treated like a princess in return." I laugh, Angel swishes her hair behind her shoulder. "Negatives are overly sensitive to criticism, often discontent which leads to them being seen as spoiled and lazy."

Ivy snorts, "Merlin— if I couldn't believe in the universe anymore, then this does it." 

Angel laughs with her, "It's not wrong, why do you think I attack my attackers?" She raises her brow at Ivy and I, a sassy smile on her face. "Now, your turn, missy." 

I nod, maintaining eye contact with Angel as she tilts her head in an investigating manner. She twists her lips to the side, her twinkling eyes piercing into mine as she attempts figures it out. Angel blinks before chuckling softly, "Oh wow."

"Oh wow, what?" I reply, knitting my eyebrows together. 

"Well... it seems like you want someone who will protect you, and most importantly want them to be quite possessive of you; as you like to know that your theirs and no one else is." Angel confesses, making my eyes widen.

I gulp, "How do you do that?!"

"How do you have a calculator in your brain?!" Angel retaliates in the same surprise manner as I did.

"Had it drilled into my mind until I could." I shrug, her face dropping.

Angel blinks for a few seconds, "That's.. a shame? And I don't know why I can, I just can." 

"Interesting." I say, until a someone taps me on the shoulder, causing me to faintly jump in shock. 

I turn around, spotting Daphne as she takes a seat to my right that was free. "Uh? Yeah?" I furrow my brows in confusion, Daphne's knee bounces up and down rapidly.

"You know my sister, right? The girl that's in fifth year? Astoria?" Daphne questions, her words practically knocking me off my feet.

"She's a fifth year?!" I sputter, Daphne steadily nods with her lips pursed in shame. 

"Yeah.. she looks older, probably how she got Draco," She shrugs in admittance, "Anyway, I've told her to back off, but she seems really angry that your hanging around Draco."

I snicker, "Shame. we're barely friends." Honestly, that hurt to say. But I need to convince myself we are, so I don't feel anything for Draco.

Daphne nods, "That's what I thought, she's childish so just ignore her. She can be an evil little bitch if she wants." 

"Okay— thanks, I guess." I reply, not sure on how to respond to that. Daphne stands up, then walks out of the Great Hall.

I turn to Angel, her face contorted with the same amount of confusion as me. 

We both shrug at the same time, instantly brushing it off. 

⋆  
⋆


	27. Chapter 27

"As you all know, the essay is on the Cruciatus Curse," Professor Snape's voice trails on in his typical monotones, his entire appearance feeling like an extremely boring black and white film. "The essays are due on the seventh of December, plenty of time to put effort into it." He glares at a few students with a slaughterous and petrifying manner, the few students cowering into their chairs and gulping in fear.

I trail off into my mind for remainder of the full class, knowing that if I paid attention Professor Snape's dispirit will soon rub off on me. Defence Against the Dark Arts was one of my favourite classes at home, so I was not allowing Professor Snape ruin it for me. Strangely, I hadn't seen much of Draco this morning, nor had he shown up for class; but I push the thought aside, I'm sure he's fine. 

The day went on, Charms was relatively easy and mediocre in terms of excitement. Professor Flitwick had a small conversation with me, asking if I understood the essay requirements and if it was too much for me— which I was, yet again, confounded by. It's as though all the Professor's doubted me. The charms essay is stupidly simple, you have to write two pages each for three charms; I chose the Reductor Curse, Drought charm and the knitting charm, all absurdly easy and none troublesome to write about. 

Transfigurations passed, still no sight of Draco. So, without the snarky comments or remarks of Draco mocking me because of all the boys that tried to flirt with me, Transfigurations had been rather boring. Although sometimes his presence irritated me, seeing as he always spoke his mind and didn't seem to care if it hurt you, he made Transfigurations bearable. Even more weirder than his absence, I hadn't seen Argento anywhere— not that I practically wanted to, but I just found it strange how he was no where to be seen.

As I walk to the library, it now being my study lesson, which I hope would change to an actual subject next term; but a girl can only dream. Around a five minute walk away from the library, I hear footsteps heighten in volume from behind me. Momentarily, I take a glimpse to see Angel jogging up to me. "Angel?" I question, she pants for a few seconds before clearing her throat. 

"Um— if you see Astoria, run." Angel informs, her breath still unstable from her running.

I knit my eyebrows together, "Why?" I ask in confusion.

Angel huffs, "She's being the little jealous bitch she always is." Then, Angel jogs back the other way and yells that 'she didn't want to miss her Herbology class.'

In bafflement to her words, blinking to see if that actually just happened— which it definitely did as I watch Angel disappear down a left corridor. I shake away the strange moment from my mind, then continue walking to the library. 

Sitting in my usual spot, right at the back of the library in the corner, I quietly read 'Firestarter'. Thankfully, no librarians had disrupted me nor had students. It'd surprise you to how many people asked you questions in this place, it's sort of insane. Recently, most of them had been boys from all four houses asking how I was and what I was doing, which got really repetitive and boring. 

In a quiet headspace, my mind devoid of pestering thoughts and only filled with the words I was reading, footsteps sound in the silence and I choose to ignore them, considering it's probably someone asking how my day was going. They take a seat at the booth I was sitting at, the cushion of the chair dipping from the weight. 

Glancing up, expecting to see a random Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw, but instead I see him. Oskar Argento smirks at me, his brown eyes flickering up and down my frame. Immediately, I feel my bottom lip quiver from the sight of him. "What are you doing here?" I ask, composing myself and refusing to meet his eyes. Argento had a dark, deep bruise on his left eye, tones of greens and yellows visible. His top lip had a fairly large cut on it, along with his nose quite bruised. The entirety of his face was scattered with a few tiny cuts, and his jaw had a huge, deep bruise on it. 

"Came for round two." Argento chuckles, shuffling towards me on the seat.

"No." I state quickly, nudging over towards the wall and pressing my side against it as I attempt to get away from him.

"Good, you weren't worth it anyway. I have to move schools because of you." He shrugs, still budging closer to me relentlessly until his side is right against me.

I gulp, "Stop." Glancing up, my eyes meet his and a zap of fear shoots through my timid figure. I feel my breaths quickening, growing shallow and rapid. My heartbeat races from the brewing fear of being around him. 

"You were hot, until you told people. I said it was our secret." Argento advances in making me more uncomfortable as ever, "So fuck you, I bet you'll be a prude for the rest of your life. Learn to loosen up, Winters." He hisses, his hand collides with my thigh. I push it away instantly, feeling claustrophobic between the wall, Argento and the table in front of me. I needed to get away. 

"Please leave." I mutter, closing my eyes as I attempt to compose myself. 

Argento snickers, "Not even one last fuck before I leave?" 

I gulp in fear, "No." Then, I had enough; either I'm about to cry or raise all hell, so I need to leave before any of those two things happen. I grasp my book, thankful that I dropped my bag at my dorm before I started study; so I didn't need to worry about anything else. I climb onto the desk, shuffling over to end and instantly begin walking out of the library.

"Hope you reminisce on our times together, sexy." Argento calls out, I pick up my pace to a fast walk and exit the library as quick as possible. 

Eventually out of the vicinity and sight of Argento, I remain in a fast walk while I head down the corridor, then make a sharp left and bash into someone. They grunt, but don't stumble back at all; in a way that they were a rock or a statue. I stagger backwards, however the person grabs my upper arm and I evade the embarrassment of falling over. 

I glance up, my eyes widening at the sight of Draco. "Oh, hi." I awkwardly smile, brushing down my skirt and attempting to flee.

"I need to talk to you." Draco announces, I have no time to reply as he immediately keeps his hold on my arm and guides me down the hall he just came from.

"What about?" I inquire, finally grasping my words after the fearful conversation with Argento. From Draco's silence, I huff. "Argento's moving schools." I blurt, mentally kicking myself as he's bound to ask how I know that.

Draco comes a halt, the hallway we were currently in was devoid of students and professors. He takes his hand off me, slipping it into the pocket of his pants. "How do you know that?" Draco quizzes, his eyebrows furrowed. 

"Um... he was in the library." I murmur, my voice similar to a squeaking mouse.

"Winters, speak up for fucks sake." He badgers sternly, I sigh quietly while I attempt to calm myself.

Shakily, I manage to get the words out. "He was in the library."

"Did he hurt you?" Draco queries, his voice less sterner than before. I shake my head side to side, indicating no. "Thank god." He sighs in relief, Draco rakes a hand through his platinum hair as he glances down at me. "We have to stop being near each other, I can't do this."

I knit my eyes in puzzlement, "Why?" 

Draco grumbles under his breath, avoiding eye contact as he stares at the floor and retrieves a letter folded parchment from his pocket. He holds it in front of me, shaking it slightly to imply he wanted me to take it. Completely perplexed, I take the parchment from him and begin unfolding it. I instantly gather that it's a letter from the acknowledgment on the top.

'Draco,'

I gulp, continuing to read the letter.

'Your mother and I have recently became acquainted with a new friendship at Hogwarts, that being the half-blood daughter of Wilder and Cecile Winters,' 

What have I done?

'I assure you no consequences of this mistake if you terminate this friendship and act towards the girl like how she truly deserves.'

Oh no.

'Be smart boy, don't be absurd. Wilder Winters gave me his word and he requests you stop associating with the inbreed at once.

,Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy'

"I— I'm so sorry." I pass the letter back to Draco, to which he snatches from me and shoved it into his pocket.

"Save it, I don't want to hear it." Draco rasps, his horrible, cruel attitude was back again. "Argento won't be here, so just drop it." He adds harshly, then wastes no time in storming off, his shoulder nudging mine as he barged past.

Gulping, I begin walking to common room. 

⋆ ⋆

Evening fell, mostly everyone was in the common room; either reading, studying or talking. I sat on the left side of the leather couch with Angel beside me, Ivy was laying down with her legs atop of Angel's thighs and her head on the armrest. Before Draco's little outburst and 'terminating' our friendship, he actually allowed me to keep Outlander; which he gave to me when we returned from Hogsmeade. 

I was about halfway through the novel, and I couldn't stop thinking about how Draco said something along the lines of 'what's wrong with a little more descriptive words'. It angered me that I kept thinking about it, I didn't want to. Draco doesn't want anything to do with me, well his parents definitely don't. I suppose, if my father wasn't a brutal asshole who beat his daughter because of something she can't control, Draco wouldn't hate me so much and might go against his fathers orders. But, alas, my father is a vile man and Draco listens to his father.

I was hoping not to see Draco for the remainder of the day, seeing as it'd possibly be weird and awkward, however Draco and Astoria were sitting on the opposite couch; and not keeping things PG rated. It's irritating me, honestly. His hand rested on her thigh, rubbing the tips of his fingers along her inner thigh. I roll my eyes, shifting my focus back to the book. 

"Did you get the message, Winters?" Astoria breaks the silence, a silence that I was happy with until she ruined. She seems to be the type of person to ruin things. 

"Be quiet." I huff, avoiding her evil glare that I physically felt pierce my skin. 

Astoria scoffs, "Since when did you go around giving out orders?"

I remain quiet, refusing to give her the satisfaction she craved.

"Speak, bitch. I'll get your father here again." She bickers from my quiet demeanour, I notice Angel glance at me through the corner of my eye. 

Closing the book and resting it atop of my lap, I bring my eyes up to meet Astoria's murderous glare. 

"I dare you," I spit, her face dropping in surprise from my clearly unexpected response. "He barely did shit last time, so I dare you." 

Astoria wipes her shocked look away, her top lip twitching in anger. Suddenly, she stands up in sheer infuriation. I notice both Ivy and Angel looking at me with confusion and concern, however I brush it away. Sighing, I place the book upon Angel's lap and stand up as well. "What are you doing, Astoria?" I smile, containing myself from laughing at her bursting anger. 

"You mean, what are you doing?" She tilts her head slightly, "So what? You fuck Oskar and think you can get Draco next? Really?"

Ivy and Angel scoff, I glance back at them to see them both basically holding one another back from lashing out on Astoria.

I snicker, "That's real funny, Astoria. First the jokes about my father and now Argento? Are you mentally stable?" 

Astoria huffs in exasperation, then steps towards me. "I can joke about whatever I want, Raven."

"No ones stopping you, but aren't people supposed to laugh at jokes? I don't hear much laughter." I state, her face heightening in fury. 

"I will send a letter to your father." Astoria threatens, her teeth gritting roughly. 

I laugh, "I hope he bashes the words 'Astoria's loose pussy' onto my skin." I hear Draco snicker from behind Astoria, to which she whips around and glares at him, but he keeps a smirk on his face. 

Astoria stomps like a toddler having a tantrum, "You're pathetic, inbreed!" 

Smiling, I wave as she storms off and a scowl escapes her as she notices my waving. Not having much time to react to Draco's obvious amusement to what occurred, Angel grasps my hand and drags me towards our dorm. 

⋆ ⋆

Seated on Angel's bed, my back against the headboard with Angel beside me and Ivy in front of us, Angel hands me a cigarette from the packet. I smile in thanks, positioning the filter amidst my lips and retrieving the lighter that was adjacent to the ashtray. Angel passes a cigarette to Ivy, to which we all light our cigs. 

After the scenario that just broke out, Astoria practically exposed my home life and there's no easy way to hide it from Ivy and Angel for any longer. Thankfully though, barely anyone else was in the common room— so I think only Angel and Ivy heard. As we entered the dorm, I promised I'd tell them right now, so here we are. I'm about to tell them everything. 

flashback to New Years of 1991 going to 1992, Raven age 12

"Father, what did I do wrong?" I questioned the man in front of me, the face of sheer rage across his features and clouding out any soft sights. His eyebrows firmly furrowed, breathing heavily and lips pressed in a firm line. 

"Everything." Father yelled, "You are an absolute shame to this family."

I gulped, "I'm sorry."

He strode towards me, causing me to cower back into a corner. My knees buckled as I found my body weaken and struggle to stand. 

"You're a burden to my life," He continued, "A complete embarrassment to me."

"You know, your little friend that's the son to Lucius Malfoy loathes you." Father spat, "He found out you were an inbreed."

My face fell. 

"You're utterly useless, no family would want you— not even muggles." Then, his fist collided with my jaw and I dropped to the floor.

Everything, I told them absolutely everything. From what father does, to what Vesper's been through and even to what my home life was like— and it isn't pretty. 

"I— Oh." Angel's unable to get any words out, both girls shocked and unknown with what to say.

Smoke escapes Ivy's mouth, "That's horrible, Ray. I'm so sorry."

I shrug, taking a long draw of the cigarette. "It's fine, it's not your fault, don't be sorry."

"So, Draco knows?" Angel manages to speak, but something quite off topic— I don't mind though.

Nodding, I exhale the vague smoke from my lungs and watch it dance in the cool air.

"Is that what those bruises were?" Ivy asks, her brows knitted in remorse. 

"Yep." I admit, inhaling a copious amount of smoke. 

Angel scoffs in aggravation, "That's disgusting that Astoria said that, what the actual fuck is wrong with her?" 

"I agree, she can't say those things." Ivy agrees with Angel, however I sigh in response.

Biting my lip in thought, I flick my eyes between the two girls. "Don't worry yourself about it, I've dealt with it for years, so I'll be fine."

"Your welcome at my house these christmas holidays, if you want to. I may be a pureblood but Mum and Dad don't really give a shit." Angel smiles, to which I subtly smile back. 

"Maybe." I shrug.

⋆


	28. Chapter 28

The rest of the week was tiring, it consisted of students spreading rumours as to why Oskar Argento had moved schools— my favourite rumour was because he turned himself into an moth and spied on girls as they showered, which isn't that far fetched honestly. No one really disclosed the real reason, apparently Draco threatened the students in Slytherin who were known with the actual reason; so I highly doubt they'll be rambling their mouths any time soon. 

This week may of been bearable if Astoria left me alone, I really seemed to push one of her buttons, considering she never gave me a break from her comical jokes. However, I'd laugh at her and she would throw a temper tantrum, which were pretty amusing to watch. Vesper told me the worst news, she heard Draco and Astoria go at on the night that her and I had that little argument; they evidently forgot about a silencing charm and subjected poor Vesper and Theo to endure the sounds.

Draco was acting cold and rude towards me again, which wasn't anything new nor difficult to deal with. He took the book away from me again though, said that it's a wise idea. That's stupid as fuck, why can't the boy just let me read the mother fucking book?! 

It's a Saturday evening presently, Slytherin had a game of Quidditch against Ravenclaw (Ravenclaw won last weekend against Hufflepuff) and thankfully Slytherin won; Draco didn't tumble on the ground this time. However, I didn't attend the match, since I could barely tolerate the worry I felt last time and I definitely didn't want to stress myself anymore than I already was.

Up until now, I had been endlessly worrying about when I'd receive a letter from the Winters residence. Even though Draco told Vesper that he has Astoria under control, I don't trust her one bit. I just know she'll do it behind his back if she felt vile enough to. Slytherin threw one of their 'small' parties, which I didn't want to attend at all. Nonetheless, I have two friends who insist I should come, so I gave in and went. People seemed more drunk compared to last time, but that's possibly because I came to common room an hour after it had began.

I wasn't dressed too special and party looking, I'm wearing an oversized hoodie that's a pretty green colour with a grey streak along the chest and sleeves, and paired with a short black skirt and my converse. It's the deal I made with Angel, I would come to the party if I could dress comfortably, and obviously she agreed.

Currently, I had just managed to get Angel to her bed and lay her on her side so she wouldn't vomit in her sleep. The girl was beyond wasted, essentially stumbling over her own feet and bruising her knees over and over. She definitely needed sleep, her night had ended short. Ivy left with Luna to Ravenclaw common room, so I was left alone. Then, a brilliant idea comes to mind, what if I go hang out with Vesper.

I decide on my idea, turning off the light in the dorm as I exit the room, softly closing the door behind me. The music that sounded from the common room is much quieter now, considering everyone was either vomiting, sleeping or left to hook up with someone— or you have me, the most sober and most bored. I glance at the two students passed out on the couches, giggling hushedly from their strange sleeping positions, then turn down the boys dormitory corridor. 

Ambling towards Theo's dorm, I lightly knock on the door and hear footsteps radiate from inside the room. Around a few seconds later, the door opens and Vesper stands in the doorway with glowing red eyes. "Bit high?" I giggle, stepping in as Vesper moves to the side to allow me to. 

"Merlin— Ray, you have absolutely no fucking idea." Vesper murmurs through her laughs, she closes the door behind me. Vesper grasps my hand, then leads me over to Theo's bed. It surprised me that so many Slytherin students had their own dorms with bathrooms to themselves and sofa's, but I couldn't help but think that wouldn't they get bored sometimes? "Theo got this bud from Draco like on Thursday, and I had two fucking bowls and I'm so high it's not funny." She flops onto the bed, patting the spot beside her. 

"Where's Theo?" I ask, confused as I couldn't see him. 

"Right here." Theo emerges from the bathroom, steadily shutting it behind him. "My fucking limbs aren't working."

Vesper laughs at him, "You want some?" She asks me, nodding her head at the clear bong on Theo's nightstand. I shuffle myself further onto Theo's bed, sitting cross-legged in the middle while Theo and Vesper budge themselves to rest their backs against the headboard. 

"Okay." I affirm, Vesper hands me the bong and laughs when her eyes meet mine. "Why are you laughing?" 

Theo snorts, "The magic of muggle herb, Ray." 

I furrow my brows, amused by their stoned demeanours. "I'm too high to pack your bowls, can you do it?" Vesper says, passing the little metal tin of weed to me. Nodding, I begin pinching the chopped bud into the bowl, remembering how much Vesper always put in mine. 

Vesper hands me a lighter, I bring the mouthpiece to my lips and position my hand comfortably on the bong. I ignite the lighter, hovering the flame upon the green herb and watch as it engulfs a vivid orange. Chucking the lighter in front of me, placing my hand under the bong now. Inhaling deeply, I view the herb get sucked down the stem. Immediately after it sinks, I take my thumb off the air hole and expel the milky smoke from my lungs.

"Oh, it tastes better than last time." I admit, tasting the residue of the smoke on my tongue; it tasted fruity, like berries or something. Almost right after I finished the bowl, I feel the effects begin to hit me. "Oh." I say in surprise, glancing up at Vesper who was nodding in agreement.

"Trust me, have a second one and you'll be having a conversation in your own head." Theo laughs abruptly, causing Vesper to catapult into a state of giggles. 

"Dear god." I snicker, then begin packing another bowl for myself. This time, I pack the herb to the brim of the bowl.

Vesper gasps, "Look at you go!"

I giggle, picking up the lighter and lifting to the bong to my mouth. Setting the herb ablaze, it takes longer to fully ignite but the smoke was smooth and didn't feel harsh against my baby lungs. Inhaling the smoke, this bowl being seconds longer than my first one, I watch the bud get sucked down the stem from my sharp inhale. Holding it for a second, I exhale the thick, white smoke into the air and view it dwindle smoothly upwards.

"Oh wow." I cough, feeling a slight tickle at the back of my throat. "Draco's bud is strong."

Theo scoffs, "It's bloody crazy."

"His tolerance is fucking high though." Vesper shrugs, taking the bong and metal tin from my lap and placing it on the nightstand. 

"Does he smoke a lot?" I question, to which they both shake their head side to side. 

"Nope, barely ever smokes," Vesper informs, staring at the light on the ceiling as though it was interesting? "It's a mystery to why he can have two cones and survive."

Theo breaks out into laughter, "It's because of his dick, Ves."

"Excuse me?" My eyes widen, Vesper glares at Theo before shifting them to me and looking softly, completely dissimilar to the stare she gave Theo.

"Theo's sharing too much information, but if you must know... Girls always talk about how Draco has like a big dick, so Theo jokes about how his body mass is big or whatever." Vesper says seriously, then smirks as she conceals her chuckles.

"That's.. um.. nice to know?" I reply awkwardly, Theo abruptly stands and saunters to the dorm door.

"I'll be back ladies, I am fetching food and water because my mouth is drier than the Sahara Desert." Theo discloses before exiting the room and gently shutting the door behind him. 

Vesper giggles, "Yay, girl time." She sits up and crosses her legs as well. "So, I see you got to first name basic with Draco."

I knit my eyebrows together, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Do you like him or something?" She queries, "It's fine if you do, he's not that bad."

"No, I don't like him." I retort gently, "He doesn't even care about our friendship."

Vesper hums, "He'll come around, and please don't take this the wrong way— but if you want to like forget about the thing with Argento, go to Draco."

"What?" I question on what she said, not entirely comprehending much since I'm quite stoned; that's a lie, very stoned.

"Well... He's good in bed." Vesper admits, pursing her lips in thought. "Argento did it to a girl in my year, and she went to Draco. Said he 'showed' her what sex is meant to feel like." 

I hum in response, pondering on what she said. 

There's no doubt in the world that Draco's attractive, like extremely. It's sort of intimidating, knowing I attend school and in the same year as someone so striking in appearance. He wasn't just his appearance though, everything about him captivated me. The way he had control of his words, expect the insults, but the good things he said would send me into a state of bliss. His words just rolled off his tongue so effortlessly and smoothly, it's clear as to why he gets so many girls.

Even though his eyes sometimes scared me, as the glare he would pierce towards you felt comparative to a laser shooting through you, or in a way that your soft butter and his glare is a butter knife— slicing through with ease. Against all that hostility, I saw the glint in his eye when he talked to me and, my god, did it interested me. Seeing past his silver gaze was impossible though, knowing he bottled everything inside and constructed an indestructible defence wall; stopping anyone from getting inside and understanding the reasons to his actions. I wanted to understand him, so badly.

"Oh my god!" Vesper shrieks, "You're thinking about him!"

My eyes widen, how long was I quiet for? "So what?" I scoff, fiddling with the hem of my skirt, "He hates me anyway."

Vesper pouts, "He doesn't hate you, he's mad at you."

"Why?" I knit my brows together.

"Something about when you guys were younger..." She trails her voice on, wary of if she should continue this. "I know you're going to go straight to Draco after I tell you." 

I shrug, "Lock the door after I leave then, so he can't attack."

Vesper and I giggle briefly, then she sighs gently. "This is a bad time to talk about this, since we're stoned and all— but you deserve to know."

Nodding, I wait for Vesper to confess it to me. 

"After that event at the Malfoy's, when his father caught you two hanging out.. he told our dad everything..." Vesper begins, grasping my hand and lightly stroking my thumb along my knuckles. "Dad gave you Veritaserum without you knowing, and I watched it all happen. You told dad everything about you and Draco's friendship." 

"What the fuck?!" I scoff in shock, but Vesper shushes me quietly.

"He obliviated your mind, making you forget you ever told him." She sighs, glancing at me sadly.

I blink blankly at Vesper, "He made me confess my friendship with Draco to him?!"

She nods, affirming what I said.

"What is wrong with him? Draco thinks I purposely— oh my god." I start rambling, however I obtain a realisation that made my stomach churn.

"What?" Vesper asks, her brows furrowed.

I gulp, "I'm the reason his father started hurting him, you said it all started in third year after christmas.. that was the last time Draco and I hung out."

Her eyes widen, "Merlin, Ray."

"What— What do I do?" I say frantically, Vesper clasps my hands in hers and squeezes gently.

"Calm down first," She sweetly breathes with me, helping me compose myself. "Go talk to him, don't lash out or anything."

I nod, shuffling to the end of the bed and slipping off the edge. Deciding to have another bowl before I leave, I point to the bong and Vesper nods. Quickly, I pack the herb to the brim of the bowl. 

Finishing the bowl, I feel my high get enhanced incredibly. Placing everything where it was before, I briefly hug Vesper and amble to the dorm door. "Good luck." Vesper smiles, I smile back before exiting the dorm.

Possibly, this is a stupid idea. Draco doesn't want to be seen with me, or hang out— either or. But he needs to know the truth, I just found out the reason to why he's never liked me. And of course it had to do with my fucking father. I don't understand, wasn't Lucius Malfoy's words enough to father? 

Did he not believe him so he decided to spike my drink with Veritaserum then obliviate me? 

Is he that fucking insane?

Whatever, I don't care. I'm too stoned to give a crap about father, he isn't worth thinking about; Draco on the other hand is. I understand why he's mad at me, he thinks I told father everything willingly— I'm the reason his father became physically abusive with him. If father never forced the truth out of me by using a potion, then Draco might've been safe and never been touched by his Father— but because my fathers an ignorant asshole, Draco's health has been seriously damaged.

I reach Draco's dorm, I sigh deeply before tapping my knuckles against the wood. Waiting for a few seconds, the doorknob twists and the door opens. Draco stood there, he rolls his eyes and goes to shut the door but I quickly budge myself past him.

"Listen to me, please." I beg, Draco grumbles under his breath and shrugs, allowing me to speak.

"Are you high?" Draco asks, causing me to blink blankly at him.

I gulp, "Yes? but that's besides the point, I know why your mad me." 

He curses inaudibly, then grabs my wrist and guides me over to the sofa. With annoyance, Draco sits down and hauls me beside him. "Ves can't keep her mouth shut, can she?" Draco chuckles lowly in irritation, "What did she say."

"Um— she said your mad at me because I told my father everything about our friendship." I begin, Draco rests his head back and closes his eyes, sighing deeply. "I'm the reason your father started being— abusive."

"Yes." He bluntly affirms, the realisation crushes me instantly, a feeling of sheer remorse filling me.

"Draco. My father gave me Veritaserum and then obliviated me." I blurt, knowing I couldn't beat around the bush with this one.

He scoffs, "Really?" 

"Yes, do you think I'd act so oblivious if I knew! Draco, I can not believe you think I'd actually tell my father that!" I exclaim, Draco glances at me and draws his bottom lip between his teeth. "I'm not lying, I promise. You meant everything to me, I would never willingly impart the truth to him! You know I wouldn't." 

Suddenly, Draco gently cups my face and leans forward, smashing his lips against mine. Taken aback, I hesitate but quickly ease into the kiss. Draco pulls away, his silver eyes looking into mine intensely. "I should've asked first." Draco chuckles, but I cut him off by meeting my lips upon his, I feel him smirk against me from my impulsive action. Growing bolder by the second, the weed taking over my systems and blocking me from thoroughly thinking on my ideas; I shuffle forward on the sofa, shifting my leg over his and straddling him. Situating one hand on the side of his neck, then the other on his shoulder, Draco lightly bites my bottom lip and causes me to gasp softly, he uses that moment to dive his tongue into my mouth; our tongues fighting for dominance. 

Draco hands immediately glissade along the side of my body, then stop when he reaches my arse. Unexpectedly, he grips my rear with one hand while the other travels up to my waist, then shifts to the small of my back. He draws me closer towards him, so my breasts pressed up against his chest— leaving absolutely so space for Jesus. 

This feels right, regardless that our fathers forbid it— it just feels so heavenly and right to me. Our lips locked onto one another's like the final piece of a puzzle, fitting perfectly. His hands on my body sent rushes of unknown emotions through my veins— ones of craving, eagerness and desire, all these feelings were so new to me but it felt right.

Draco tugs on my bottom lip as we part from one another, both panting quietly from the intensity. I loosen my grip I accidentally had on his shoulder, our eyes gazing into each other's as we catch our breathes. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do that." Draco admits, making me smile and my cheeks begin to glow a pink hue. I sit back on his lap, playfully with the collar of his shirt. He removes his hand from my arse, steadily meeting with the side of my face and tucks a few stray hairs behind my ear.

Draco sighs, "That was a bad idea."

"No, it wasn't." I quickly spurt out, hoping for this moment to go on for a little longer. "That was my— um.. first kiss." Shamefully confess, weirdly inducing Draco to smirk. 

He raises his eyebrows, "Was it really? Did he not—"

"He didn't." I shake my head briefly, glancing down to avoid eye contact. 

"Look at me." Draco instructs, I instantly look up and meet his argentine gaze. "I'm sorry for not being able to protect you from your father— or Argento."

I hush him softly, "It isn't your fault." 

Draco's hand traces my jawline in a gentle manner before running his thumb along my bottom lip, tugging it down as he takes his hand off me and places it on my thigh. "Astoria's not going to tell your father, trust me. I know you've been worrying about it."

I smile, "She seems really unpredictable."

Draco rolls his eyes, "She is."

"So.. is this like— what is this?" I question curiously, biting my lip as I wait for an unwanted answer.

"Um— ask me on Monday, I need to figure shit out with Astoria." Draco leans forward, planting a soft kiss upon my lips. I feel my cheeks grow a rosey glow, smiling like an idiot.

"Who would've known you were secretly soft." I giggle, 

Draco rolls his eyes and slides his hand along my thigh. "Don't push it, Winters."


	29. Chapter 29

"I kissed Draco." I blurt out to Angel as she walked out of the bathroom, she comes to a halt from the abruptness. 

It was the next morning, I had fallen asleep on Draco's bed; again. Honestly, I'm not sure how or why I got to his bed, but I did. Last night was strange, I actually kissed Draco— in the moment, it felt so amazingly right and that it was meant to happen, however I feel guilty now. Draco was correct, it was a bad idea. If anyone found out, like Astoria, all hell would break loose and I'd undoubtedly be dragged back home by my hair. I put Draco in danger, this is why I always think with my head and not my heart— because my heart seems to want people that are either bad for me, or come with consequences; Like Draco.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad my first kiss was with Draco, he's been my friend since I was a little girl. I know he'd rather he was my first kiss instead of anyone else. But, I still felt horrible for kissing him back, it was thoughtless and silly. Only bad things would come from it, and I need to focus on school work; as well as keeping myself on a quiet level so Astoria didn't owl my father— we all know she'd love for father to visit Hogwarts and hurt me, just because I kissed Draco; or hung around him. 

To make matters worse, if Astoria were to find out and inform my father, I can't pull myself out of that bottomless pit of dooming consequences. Father wouldn't care, he'd say I deserved what Argento did if I were to bring it up. There was no way that I could protect myself from my raging father, not even the excuse that I was raped would fill him with care or compassion— Argento's a pureblood, to father he's someone who treated me how I deserved.

"Excuse me?!" Angel eventually gathers what I said, then wanders to my bed, sitting beside me. I had sat on the edge of my bed, with my knee bouncing up and down. I needed to tell someone, I need someone to tell me that I was stupid and nonsensical.

"Tell me it was a bad idea." I beg, glancing to my right and pleading with her using my eyes. 

Angel snickers, "Don't need to beg me to say that, Ray. That was a bad idea."

Then, from Angeline saying it was a bad idea— realisation hurtled at me like a speeding truck, winding me as my breaths shake and my knee continues to bounce with worry. 

I put him in danger.

I'm the reason he was put in danger in the first place.

I'm not good for me, I'll ruin everything again. 

"I know." I sigh, shuffling on my bed so I was laying on my back, with my head resting upon Angel's thigh. Angel's hands gently touches the side of my face, where she brushes away strand hairs from my face in a soft manner. "I was high, and it just happened."

Angel purses her lips, "Yeah, that's understandable. You probably heard the rumours about him, y' know, big dick and fucking great in bed." I laugh at her straightforward self, not seeming to care nor hold back her crude words. 

"Yeah, Vesper told me. Said I should go to him if I wanted someone to show what sex is meant to feel like." I giggle, remembering how stoned I was last night and that I actually ended up going to Draco's room. 

"Did you fuck him too?!" She says in shock, my eyes widen and shake my head to indicate no. 

I sigh deeply, "I was way to high, plus he said he wanted to sort shit out with Astoria."

Angel scoffs at Astoria's name, "I fucking hate her, and her granny pussy."

"Me too." I laugh, fiddling with my fingers that rested atop of my stomach. "I shouldn't of kissed him, Angel. It's dangerous."

She knits her eyebrows, "Dangerous?"

Oh, Merlin. I haven't told her how it's essentially my fault his father started being abusive.

I gulp, "I found out the reason why he holds a grudge against me."

"He has a grudge against you?" Angel queries, to which I vaguely nod. 

"Third year, christmas, that was the last time I ever talked to Draco. His father caught us talking, so he told my father." I begin, calming telling Angel all about what Vesper told me last night and what I said to Draco.

It felt good, being able to tell someone about my life. I could rant to someone without them being able to relate to me, seeing as Draco and Vesper could. But Angeline, she hadn't been through any of this— so I felt sympathy from her, instead of pitiful empathy. 

"Oh gosh.. Ray. That's tough." Angel laughs faintly, hiding her shock with humour— which I don't mind. "Your father is an utter asshole."

I nod, "He is. Sometimes I wish they sent me to live with my real father, but then again, I'd miss Ves." 

She gently threads her fingers through my hair, collecting a small amount from my middle part and begins to slowly braid my chocolate brown tresses. "Like I said, Ray, you're welcome at mine. Ivy might invite you as well, but her aunt is really... similar to Draco's father."

I smile in appreciation, "Thanks, if it gets too tough I might." Angel smiles, then proceeds in plaiting my hair.

"I think you need to tell Draco," Angel sighs, "I know you wouldn't want to lead him on, but he's weirdly understanding in him own way."

She's right, I need to tell him before anything serious happens.

"I will, he said he's talking to Astoria today. What if I go to talk to him and she's there?" I question with worry, the last thing I needed was for Astoria to get the wrong idea. That would end badly.

Angel giggles in a way that I was clueless to something, "Ray, this is crude but Draco will literally fuck Astoria and she'll shut up."

Furrowing my brows, I shoot her a disgusted look. "That's wonderful to know."

"I know," She rolls her eyes, still chuckling quietly. "But it's true, she won't owl your father if Draco tells her too. She's so oblivious, he makes her suck his dick and she shuts up— like she didn't get anything out of it?" 

I laugh in a hushed manner, concealing myself from breaking into a fit of laughter from Astoria being basically whipped. "She seems obsessed with him."

Angel snickers, "That's an understatement, she'd do anything for him." She finishes the second braid, then begins a third one on the other side of my hair parting. 

"Can this stay between us? I don't want anyone to know, I wasn't really planning on telling you either... it just came out." I smile with hope, to which Angel nods sweetly. 

"Of course, it's not my business to tell anyway. But you must tell Draco, I don't want you getting hurt from your father." Angel finished the third braid quicker then the others, then gently flicks her wand at the end of the plait and mutters a spell— the braid becoming tied at the end. 

I twist my lips to the side, "I will, but it won't stop father.. trust me."

Angel nods, "I feel horrible that you've been through so much, Ray." She pouts in sadness, causing me to smile in hopes to enlighten her mood. "O.M.G! I have a good idea!" She beams randomly.

"And what's that?" I ask with curiosity, sitting up again and glancing at her. 

"I know we went to Hogsmeade last weekend, but let's go now." She smiles, excitement bursting through by her wide, joyful grin.

Once again, I'd normally want to lay in bed and ponder on things— but I want to go, go and have fun. "Yeah, that sounds nice." I agree, Angel stands up and practically jumps with glee.

"So, just us? Girl time? Argento's long gone." Angel begins happily, but is wary of talking about Argento as her voice quietens.

I nod, "Don't feel weird about talking about Argento, I feel better if I come to terms with it. I know it sounds fucked, but it's how I deal with it." I admit, Angel smiles joyfully.

"Of course, you okay with what your wearing?" Angel ponders, I glance down at my brown, loose jeans that are held up with a black fabric belt. My top was a pretty, cropped tank in a brown shade as well. The wound on my wrist was visible, but like I said, I prefer to come to terms with my issues and stray from running away. Ivy had changed the strip bandaids that Draco originally put on the cut, which she said he did a good job at— seeing as the scar would be reduced extremely. 

Obviously, quite a few people had seen the wound, mostly being Slytherin students. Angel would occasionally glance at it, however would fixate her eyes on it and hastily shift her attention away from it. Everyone that knew about it didn't seem to ponder on it too much, which made me feel slightly sane. 

"Yeah." I nod, happy with my outfit. It was cold out, so I'll just bring a black zip up jumper if the icy wind becomes unbearable. 

Angel looked stunning as ever, wearing a plain white shirt that's tucked into her denim jeans. It's paired with a faded red jumper, making her outfit stray far from simple. As always, she wore her boot Dr.Martens and I wore my worn in converse.

Agreeing with each other that our outfits looked stunning, which initiated Angel to start a playful argument and wouldn't allow me to exit the dorm until I agreed I looked pretty.

"Fine. I look pretty." I roll my eyes in defeat, Angel smiles as though she had accomplished something, then we begin making our way out of the common room and through the castle. 

⋆ ⋆

Around one third of the way down the path that lead to Hogsmeade, after deciding that taking the train there was boring and Angel wanted to take in the scenery. Plus, the temperature was perfect for a little walk, and the leaves of vibrant oranges, faded reds and subdued browns were scattered thickly over the path; the drier and older leaves crunching under our feet. 

Watching the ground as we leisurely wander down the colourful path, I examine all the different shapes of the autumn leaves. Some were still speckled in green fragments, the freshness and water within causing them to roll from the winds breeze. Many were five pointed, dry and crumbling more than the others, being sparse of hydration and withered to a shrivelled appearance. The leaves were rustling on the branches in the crisp, autumn air; occasional harsh blows of winds causing multiple leaves to snap off the twigs and cascade to the damp ground below. It was ever so calming, Autumn was by far my favourite season.

"So— I know we should probably talk about negatives about Draco, or not talk about him at all... But is he a good kisser?" Angel asks, wary of her question. I giggle softly from her concern, clasping her hand in mine and subtly swinging them back at forth.

"He was my first kiss, I'm not sure what's considered good or bad." I admit, glancing up at the sky that peaked through the trees, speckling glints of light everywhere.

Angel hums in thought, "Did you wish it would end?" 

I laugh, "No."

"Then it was good." She informs, causing me to chuckle at her. 

"Have you never kissed him?" I question, eager for her answer. 

"Nope." Angel replies, my eyes shifting from the sky to her striking green ones. "I know it's crazy, I may act quite promiscuous but I have only had sex with around four people." 

I furrow my eyes, "No offence, but that's surprising."

Angel chuckles with angelic tones, matching her nickname all too well. "I know, but I don't count it as sex if I don't finish."

"So you've done it more than four times?" I query, Angel nods in affirmation.

"Yeah, don't have sex with Hufflepuffs unless their seventh years, they seem like the last generation of good fucks." Angel confesses, I break out in soft chuckles. 

I nudge Angel as we walk, "You are rather unique, Angel."

Angel smiles, "So are you, Ray." She nudges me back, "I know your okay with the topic of Argento, but I feel weird talking so openly about it— however I hate that I couldn't do more to help."

Sighing deeply, feeling the fresh air fill my lungs. "Angel, I assure you that it's fine. I have all of you helping me now, and that means so much to me." 

"Really?" Angel purses her lips, conveying a sorrowful glance. "I'm glad we're useful at something."

I faintly laugh, "I was the one who didn't listen to you both, it's on me and please don't try convince me it's not."

Angel scoffs, "It's not, it's Argento's. But I'm not going to convince you."

Everything Angel said was always correct, it seemed quite strange. I'd never verbally tell Angel this, but she was similar to Draco in some ways. She had a way with her words, always knew what to say and everything she says makes you ponder on it— just like Draco did. However, Angel was slightly kinder about it all, whereas Draco's brutally honest and straightforward. Angel's nicely honest but straightforward. 

She's amazing at advice, and she always tells me what I need to hear— even if I really didn't want to; like this morning for example, I was dreading the words roll off her tongue that would tell me I made a mistake, but it was what I needed to hear. She helped put my mind in space, assist with gathering my thoughts and bringing me to reality; despite that it may pain me. Without her, I'd probably be pestering Draco, but she brought me back down to my feet and told me what I must hear; that I needed to set things straight with Draco, he doesn't deserve pain and bruises because of me acting with my heart.

As we arrived at Hogsmeade, Angel dangled a pouch that clinked loudly as she shook me, then informed me that she would buy me some pretty clothes or candy— obviously, being my typical self, I assured her I didn't need to be bought things, but she's persistent and said I couldn't change her mind. Firstly, we went into this cute clothing store that Angel always visited, apparently it's where she buys most of her clothes.

"Angel, you are not buying me all this." I point at the clothes that were on the counter, the shop assistant staring at us awkwardly as we argued. 

She turns to the clerk, "All these, thank you." Then passes the lady the bag of galleons, before glancing at me again. "Ray, I will actually murder you if you whine again." 

I huff, "Yes, ma'am." 

Angel giggles, "That's more like it." 

I watch as the clerk folds the garments into a neat pile, then carefully slides the pile into the paper bag. She counts out the galleons from Angel's coin pouch, "That's forty one galleons, miss." The clerk looks at Angel, affirming the price to her. ($200USD)

"Okay." Angel says without concern, my eyes widen at the blonde from the price and that Angel simply didn't care. The clerk hands Angel's pouch back to her, to which she places in her pocket.

"Bye now." The kind clerk says, passing the paper bag to Angel. 

"Thank you for your help." Angel beams, taking the bag from the woman and sauntering out of the store. 

As we trek to the next store, I glance at Angel in surprise. "That was a lot of money." I spurt, inducing Angel to chuckle. 

"Not even," Angel rolls her eyes, "That woman had good taste in clothes."

Yeah, Angel asked the woman to pick out a few garments for me. The clerk seemed to be bursting with glee internally when she immediately began collecting clothes for me, occasionally taking a glimpse at my appearance and holding the garment beside me. Honestly, the lady definitely had good taste in clothes— everything she picked out fit perfectly and looked amazing on me, so Angel bought the whole lot of it. Forty one fucking galleons worth! 

"You didn't have to buy everything." I trail my voice on, peering at Angel who had a bright smile on her lips. 

"Yes I did," Angel snickers, shifting the bag to her right hand and grasping my hand with her left. "You looked so pretty in all of them."

I smile, accepting defeat and allowing Angel to buy me whatever she wanted. 

Soon, we left Hogsmeade with multiple bags— bags of clothes, candy, even alcohol since the clerk at the alcohol store believed Angel was eighteen; which, no offence to Angel, she looks young, so Merlin knows how she got away with it. 

Eventually, Angel and I had arrived back at Hogwarts, and we instantly went back our dorm. Angels currently hanging my new clothes on the metal hangers, colour coordinating them, which was entertaining to watch. 

Through all the fun and the amazing day I had, being in the walls of the castle brought back the realisation that I had to speak with Draco soon. I'm dreading it, but i'm hoping he understands; Angel said he's an understanding person, just has a strange way of showing it. Whatever the hell that means. Yesterday night was a mistake and felt ethereal, nonetheless if it felt right; it was thoughtless and a spur of in the moment. Mostly, I'm worried about his reaction— he said he had always wanted to do it, so maybe he felt something towards me? I hope he doesn't though. But Draco's smart, wise even, he knows my situation and his own, and what occurred last night was a one time thing. 

I can't risk getting him hurt, nor getting commanded back home to resume homeschooling. 

Hogwarts is as amazing as I thought it would be, except all the negatives that had occurred, but I'm hoping to look past that. I have brilliant Professors, despite Professor Snape; he's rather dull and I feel a cloud of dispirit loom over me when I'm in his class. Other than that, I like most of my Professors. I have two amazing friends, who are known with information I never thought I'd disclose to anyone, but here we are— they know. 

I don't want to leave this school, especially because of acting with my heart instead of my head. 

"Hey, Angel. Can you tell Draco to meet me at the Astronomy tower at seven?" I ask Angel, who was sitting on her bed comfortably. 

"Of course, you'll miss dinner though." Angel reminds, but I shrug. 

"That's fine, can I have a smoke or two?" I stand from my bed, it was nearly seven o'clock anyway.

Angel nods, "Sure thing." She leans over to her beside, grasping the entire cigarette packet and holding it in front of her. I wander over to the side of her bed, taking the packet and slipping it into the back pocket of my brown jeans. 

"When you come back, tell me what happened." She smiles, I nod in agreement. 

I giggle, "You know I will." Retrieving the metal flip lid lighter from Angel's nightstand, I lean over her frame and pull her into a tight hug but being wary of the wound on my wrist. "I'll see you soon."

"Yes you will." Angel rubs my back, then releases from the embrace. Sliding the lighter into my other back pocket, I walk over to the door and exit the dorm. 

I can do this.

⋆  
⋆


	30. Chapter 30

The view from the astronomy tower was beautiful, I can't believe I hadn't been up here yet. I chose this place because I wanted to have a civil conversation with Draco, devoid of arguments and I believe a calm atmosphere will assist in keeping the mood serene. The last thing I want to do is aggravate Draco, what I'm soon to tell him is quite irritating and he may feel like I lead him on— I'd be annoyed if he told me what I'm about to tell him.

It's the brutal truth, I have to act with my head again and shut down my feelings from overpowering me; this wasn't a time to be all lovey dovey. In all honestly, I have always had feelings towards Draco— little me had the biggest childish crush on him, it's almost embarrassing. I may of not talked to him much, even when I was thirteen, but I loved his presence and all of him. 

Draco was the first actual friend I ever had, if I was known with the consequences of associating with him when I was younger— I probably would've avoided him and not attend family events all together, but I wasn't fully aware of my fathers loathing towards me. It broke me that I'm the reason for Draco's father being so cruel and abusive, I never wanted something so vile to happen to him. If I could go back in time with the knowledge that our friendship would cause Draco harm, I'd stop being friends with him to stray from it all. 

"Hi." Draco says from behind me, the nicotine currently rushing through my bloodstream induces a sensation of tranquility, the calm making me not flinch or jolt from the suddenness. 

With my legs dangling over the edge of the astronomy tower, Draco sits beside me and drapes his legs over the side as well. 

"Hi." I sigh, glancing at him briefly before enthralling my eyes on the setting sun— Autumn sun sets around seven o'clock, and the majestic colours that filled the sky were beautiful; shades of paradisiacal pinks and violets, the radiant orange that surrounded the glowing golden sun as it set over the highland mountains. The incandescent orange of the sky blossoms it's bedazzling colour across every surface it could reach, I glance to my right and view the beautiful radiance light up Draco's features and creating an orange hue along his pale skin.

"Draco," I begin, catching his attention as he hums lowly. Peering back at the setting golden orb over the mountains, I sigh to compose myself. "What happened last night was.. what's the word?" I question myself, mentally kicking myself as I had my words planned out but they had all slipped my mind.

"Wrong?" He answers for me, "It was wrong but needed." 

I nod, agreeing with him. "Yeah, exactly that. I'm happy that my first kiss was you and that you know the truth now, but we can't."

"I agree." Draco says bluntly, I look over at him to see truth written all over his face.

"It's dangerous, I'm putting you in harms way. I shouldn't of acted with my heart." I confess, twisting my lips to the side. 

Draco's POV

I knew Raven wanted to be talk to me about this, after Angel asked me to meet Raven at the astronomy tower— I just knew it was because of last night, it made sense. I'm not certain if Raven knows she does this, but ever since she was little she seemed to remove anymore from harm. 

When a couple walked past us at one of her families events, she asked me to bully her and those were the most words I got out of her that night. 

August of 1992, Winters Residence.   
— Draco age twelve

I watched Raven's eyes widen, being fixated on something behind me. I glanced over my shoulder, noticing a wealthy couple ambling towards us.

"Draco, say mean things, now." Raven said with worry, I whipped my head around and stared at her with confusion.

But quickly understood what was happening. 

She didn't want to couple to get any wrong ideas, our families are incredibly known to many.

"Pathetic little inbreed, all alone." I blurted, hating every word I spoke.

Raven nodded, indicating I was doing well. 

"You're so pitiful, why can't you just go back to your room?" I continued.

The couple walked past, smiled at me but scowled at Raven.

"Stupid halfblood, no one would want to hang out with you." I longed my voice on until the couple trailed down the stone path, at a distance where they were unable to hear anymore.

"That felt bad, Raven." I said, glancing at with guilt. 

She shrugged, tilting her head back on the bench and enthralling her eyes on the night sky. 

"I can take care of myself, Winters." I inform her, to which she turns her focus from the setting sun to me. 

Raven sighs, "I saw the letter, Draco. I'm not blind, it clearly said 'no consequences'." She reminds me on what the letter said, invoking a sense of anger to fill my veins. 

"Don't tell me what I already know, either." I huff, watching her purse her lips and knit her eyebrows subtly. 

She glanced back at the sun, which was merely poking out from behind the mountains, the lack of sunlight clouding the land with brewing darkness. "You were right, Argento's not here so I'll be safe." Raven brings the half burnt cigarette to her lips, inhaling deeply and holding the smoke in her lungs for a few seconds before exhaling it into the air. "I'm not causing more pain because of my feelings, I always think with my head and that's done wonders for me— I don't know why I let myself act on my heart."

"I don't— that kiss was from a build up of longing, Raven, you know that." I disclose, knitting my eyebrows at Raven as she nods in agreement. 

Raven's right though, but I hate that she's trying to help me. I currently have everything under control, Astoria's backing off and my father believes I've stopped associating with Raven— without doubts too. Raven doesn't need to help, even if she wants to, I don't need it. She has better things to worry about other than instigating an outburst from my father if he found out we kissed, or still hung around one another; that's not for her to concern herself with. 

I suppose I'm somewhat thankful that she cares, but it makes me feel weak and as though I'm not able to deal with problems on my own— and I've never felt like this. Ever since I become friends with her again, I've noticed how she's made me doubt myself, which I wish she didn't. I enjoy her company, I always have. Her being silent or blunt was never an issue for me, she shared the same interests with me as a child and still does; that being reading, the universe, silly shit really. I feel serene around her, it's sort of impossible to lash out on her anymore— the situation that happened with Argento made it even more difficult to not be soft around her. And I hate myself for it.

Glancing down at her left arm, seeing the cut in plain sight. It looked to be healing well, the final scarring appearing minimal and unnoticeable. I find it weird that she's so open with her issues, she walked around the halls with short sleeves and acted as though she didn't have a healing cut on his wrist— people would notice and stare at it, but she didn't care. Weird. 

Raven sighs, laying down on her back and watching the stars begin to transpire from the disappearance of the illumination of the beaming sun. The stars twinkle brightly, Raven's aquamarine gaze fixates on the sky, observing a particular star before flickering her eyes to a different one. "You can see the constellation Cassiopeia." Raven notes, "Draco, lay down." 

Willingly, I lay down beside her and my eyes immediately find the constellation she was talking about. "Did I lead you on?" She asks with concern, the smoke escaping her mouth dwindles into the subtle breeze. 

"No." I admit, being completely truthful. 

"Okay." Raven replies quietly, her eyes still flickering over the stars, "Pegasus is visible too." 

I let Raven quietly talk about the constellations she can see, it's the most she'd say when we were younger. I'd just listen to her, taken aback by how much she knew at such a young age. Her eyes would always find the constellations with ease, barely taking her a minute to locate the cluster of stars. I'd ask her questions about it, how she knew so much and how she found that so quickly, but she'd shrug; Raven always shrugged. 

Somewhat, I found it strange that she didn't tend to answer questions relating to her intelligence— and she wouldn't answer to why she'd be quiet about it, so I'm completely oblivious to it all. She's different, and that annoys me. I wish it was simple for us to be friends, but it's not and it never will be.

"Andromeda galaxy, above and to the left of the top star of Pegasus." I watch her face light up as she notices the galaxy.

"You're such a dork, Winters." I chuckle at her childishness, to which she giggles in response.

She sighs softly, "I know."

Raven's POV

Draco and I stayed up at the astronomy tower for an hour, its now roughly eight o'clock. Dinner had finished, the halls dimmed and barely lit by lanterns. It was calming that I had confessed all of that to Draco, I think he understood, even if he didn't verbally say he understood; but we were on the same page. I'd wish it was easy, if only I was a pureblood then we wouldn't have to deal with any of this, it's stupid and unfortunate. 

When we arrived to common room, thankfully none of the people in sixth or seventh year were there— it was mostly filled with first to fifth years, which is lucky. Astoria would've gone mad if she saw Draco with me, and we don't want a ballistic Astoria owling my father to inform him on how disrespectful and troubling I was.

"So, what happened?" Angel asks, walking over to my bed and sitting on the edge beside me.

"He felt the same way, I couldn't explain what the kiss meant in words— but he did." I inform Angel, "It's all sorted."

Angel hums, "Seemed easy?"

I nod, "It was, I had just been stressing myself out that he wouldn't understand." 

"I told you he would." Angel smiles, reassuring me. 

"I know you did." I roll my eyes, chucking under my breathe.


	31. Chapter 31

Sunday night passed quickly, it wasn't interesting and I fell asleep relatively early; around ten o'clock, which is extremely unlike me. 

"If Minerva reminds the class on the essay due date while glaring at me, I'm throwing hands." Angel growls beside me as we begin walking to Transfigurations, she chose to come to class early with me, I'm not sure why. 

I take my nose out of the book I was reading, that being my version of Outlander. The fact that I no longer had Draco's book was irritating me, I wanted to know how the ending transpires in the rewritten version— but Draco's being an ass about my having his possessions. "That'd be funny." I say to Angel, briefly glancing at her before locking my eyes back onto the words. 

Angel scoffs, "It would be."

We make it to class, being ten minutes early. I take a seat beside Draco, who was strangely here before me, but instead of him reading like he usually was, he had his arms on the desk and rested the side of his head upon them. His eyes were closed, soft and quiet breaths escaping his slightly parted lips as he sleeps peacefully. I liked this sight of Draco, he looked so tranquil and sparse of worries, his features gentled and not filled with tension.

"Aw, he looks nice when he sleeps." Angel giggles, her desk being in front of Draco and I's. 

I smile, "I know."

The ten minutes of waiting for class to begin went by rapidly, my free time of reading unfortunately over. Professor McGonagall hushed the class, then began discussing the next topic of spell we'd be attempting on tomorrow's lesson. Classes like these where you'd jot down everything the Professor says were unarguably boring, hands on work is a lot more fun— plus, I liked to see Draco's reaction when I succeeded in transfiguring Cauldron cakes into Cabbages on the first try; it's entertaining seeing how baffled he gets.

"Miss Winters, you wouldn't mind waking up the sleeper beside you?" Professor McGonagall halts in teaching the class, all their eyes swivel onto me then on Draco, who was still sleeping peacefully. 

"Not at all." I force a smile, to which Professor McGonagall notes in thanks before returning to teaching the class. Students eyes revert back to Professor, no longer being nosy and staring at me. 

Hesitantly, I poke Draco's arm and he doesn't react. "Draco." I whisper, but fail in awaking him again. "Fuck me." I mutter under my breath, scooting closer to him and ensuring my chair wouldn't screech across the ground, I stop when my arm was touching his.

"Wake up." I whisper again, grabbing his bicep and shaking him slightly. Eventually, I hear him murmur quietly and he lifts his head, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands. "Finally." I scoot back over to the right, putting space between us again.

Draco groans in annoyance, "Why'd you wake me?" He asks, his voice husky from just waking up. 

I gulp, "I was told to." 

He chuckles lowly, shifting his eyes to mine and smirking cheekily, "What a good girl."

My eyes widen, I stare at Draco in disbelief. 'good girl'? For some reason, I felt an unfamiliar sensation rush through my body and sends a pulsating throb to my core. In confusion, taken aback from the sudden feeling, I clench my thighs together and lean forward in hopes to ease the throbbing. 

I watch as his eyes flicker down, his smirk growing. His silver gaze lingers back up to meet my sapphire ones, the power in his stare causing my breaths to quicken. Unable to bear the unknown tingle and his intimidating glance, I rivet my eyes to the front of the room and ignore his eyes that remain on me— shooting daggers into the side of my face from the strength behind his gaze. 

Eventually, the day ended hastier than usual— Potions consisted of Angel and I rambling about topics that had nothing to do with Potions, Charms was quite dull except I sat beside Hermione in that class and we talk about our favourite books. I spent my study in my room, the hour and a half speeding by rapidly.

As I sat on my bed, deciding on reading Firestarter after my morning book was Outlander, my minds finding it impossible to focus on the book; which never happened to me. Reading was my favourite thing to do in the entire world, I'd read to escape reality and enter a new world, or to pass by time— but right now, concentrating on the printed words on the pages is practically implausible. I like to absorb the words, engrave them into my mind and that didn't seem to be happening right now. 

I fold the corner of the book, shutting it and placing it on my nightstand. My minds whirling with thoughts that I didn't want to think on, and those endless thoughts were reminiscing over what arose in transfigurations this morning. The feeling that struck my core was so alien to me, I had never felt such thing before. 

'Good girl' 

Merlin, why can't I get over it? 

It's just two words, no particular meaning, however I can't stop thinking about it. 

Suddenly, I'm ripped from my thoughts as my mattress springs down beside me. I glance up, seeing Angel smiling gleefully. Budging over, I allow Angel to sit beside me. She crawls onto the bed, slipping her shoes off as she does, then rests her back against the headboard. 

"Someone's in deep thought." Angel giggles, shuffling her feet to lay flat along the mattress and raising her knees up. 

"Please distract me." I sigh, needing the thought to leave my mind this instant. "I beg."

I peer to my right, Angel's face contorted with confusion and inquisition. "What's the thought your pondering on?" She asks kindly, hoping to get the truth from me— which she always does. 

"Don't hate me," I begin, sighing to release all the tension from my body. "Draco said good girl to me, and I had the weirdest sensation like down below, and he obviously noticed so he smirked, which made everything worse. Help."

Angels face drops in the concern, then she smiles playfully. "Did Draco fucking turn you on?!"

"That's what being turned on feels like?" I reply in shock, realising how it made sense. 

"Aww, you are such an innocent girl." Angel giggles, my hands awkwardly fiddling with the hem of my skirt. "Don't be shy, Ray."

"I'm not shy," I state, "I'm shocked."

Angel's brows furrow, "Why? You've known him for ages and you recently kissed him, it's pretty obvious." She shrugs, pursing her lips as she awaits my reply. However she quickly adds something, "He's also fucking hot, I don't blame you at all."

"Well, I need to not be turned on by him— I'm meant to just be acquainted with him." I confess, groaning in utter exasperation while I tilt my head back and close my eyes, sighing heavily. "Can you make him ugly or something?" 

She lets out a sharp laugh, "No magic could make that boy ugly, plus don't be ashamed or anything."

"I thought Argento ruined it for me though, like I was genuinely convinced I'd be a prude for the rest of my life." I disclose, Angel softly exhales in thought.

I open my eyes, glancing at Angel again, "Everyone deals with it differently." She subtly shrugs, moving her arm behind my neck and pushing my head to rest on her shoulder in a gentle manner. "Look, take it as a compliment that Draco's flirting with you."

"I don't want him flirting with me, Vesper's fucked with my head." I laugh, to which Angel chuckles with me. 

If I'm completely honest, what Vesper told me had somewhat excited me— saying that he's good in bed and all that, it doesn't help that I'm curious either. I had never been turned on before, the feeling was amazing and I loved it; but it felt so strange to me, I didn't know how to act on it. Draco knew he had affected me in Transfigurations today, his smirk and amused gaze conveyed it all too well— which only made me more curious. Draco and I kissed because of the build up of emotions we had for each other when we were kids, however I assumed he lost them when he comprehended what halfbloods meant to his father; utter trash and scum of the Wizarding world. 

Even more so, to add to my confusion on why I feel this way, I truly thought Argento ruined it for me. I accepted that I'd never be able to enjoy, or have sex, with someone because of that incident, however that's clearly not the case with me. The night that Argento stole my virginity from me, I felt purely disgusted in myself and concluded that I'd never be able to show myself to someone that way; even if I felt safe, comfortable with the person and vulnerability didn't hit me. I genuinely convinced myself I'd be a prude for the remainder of my life, and have to adopt children because of the incident— But I felt the exact opposite. 

Not in a slutty way, though. I wasn't disgusted in myself, nor sickened with the fact that my body was so exposed to Argento that night— I dwelled on hating myself for a week after it occurred, then since I opened up to Draco; I had came to terms with it and I'm dealing quite well with realising what happened. Obviously, I'm totally confounded by it all. After I had regarded myself gross for a week straight, thinking about sex feels strange to me. 

To put everything straightforward and in a simple way, I wouldn't stop myself if Draco and I ended up kissing again. It would quite frankly divulge into it, he just has his affect on me. When we kissed, all my dooming thoughts and tiring worries had completely vanished, leaving me with a clear mind and able to focus on the new sensations I was feeling. It may of felt wrong and right at the same time, it was definitely dangerous— but surely, if I fuck him and remain 'acquainted' with him, no one would find out.. right?

"Do you know what he's like.. in bed?" I ask Angel anxiously, feeling strange from the outlandish conversation topic. Angel giggles, stroking my hair softly. 

"You actually wanna know?" She replies, questioning my judgement before she begins. "Don't want to scare you off."

I snicker, "Why would it scare me off? It's just sex."

"Merlin, Ray, you have no idea." Angel sighs, continuing to rake her fingers through my hair. "You know Pansy? Pansy Parkinson?"

Nodding, "Yeah."

Angel takes her arm off me, dropping it to her side and standing up from the bed. "Let's go, she'll tell you."

"Ooo this is fun." I joke, hopping off my bed and following Angel out of our dorm. 

I wasn't known with Pansy all that well, we hadn't had a conversation nor briefly acknowledge each other in the halls; she didn't entirely seem to notice me, well that's how it appeared. I remember Angel telling me about Pansy a few weeks ago, saying she was Draco's 'fling' back in third and fourth year. However, a fling in their definition was someone he fucked more often than the others, which is rather vulgar in my opinion.

Usually, on some late nights where I would ruminate repeatedly on insignificant and meaningless events or things, I would inevitably end up pondering on why Draco is so sexually active. It was a main topic amongst many girls, continually being brought up and gossiped about— it's implausible to just sit there and ignore it, why block it out when you can listen? Nevertheless, it invoked my curiosity to soar higher, my mind frequently skimming over how it must help him to forget the actuality of life.

It irritated me, I wanted to know how it felt; how it's supposed to feel. Shamefully, I might try sex with a random if Draco doesn't want to— not that I'm wholly sure I'd like to... but to put my standards low again just to become accustomed to doing it unforced, me being in control, I would lower my standards. From weeks of contemplating over my worth and craving to be in control, it brewed a longing feeling within me. It felt absurd to think about, however I needed to know the pleasure that comes with sex.

"Angeline?" Pansy opens the door, her brown hair straightened compared to its usual wavy state. 

"Hey, Ray wants to have a little chat with you." Angel smiles, grabbing my shoulders and lighting pushing me forward. "Have fun." She walks off, leaving me in the doorframe of Pansy's dorm.

"Uh—" I stutter, unsure of what to say. "It's about Draco."

Pansy smirks, then clasps my hand in hers before shutting the door behind me. She leads me over to her bed, where she sits against the headboard and pats the space in front of her. Taking a seat adjacent to her, crossing my legs and I immediately begin fiddling with the loose strings of my socks. "Draco?" Pansy questions, raising an eyebrow at me. I nod in affirmation. "Huh, I'll tell you everything— but first, I'm Pansy, we haven't really met." She holds her hand out, 

"Raven, but everyone calls me Ray." I shake her hand and we share a quick smile.

"So, what do you want to know?" She queries, tilting her head slightly as I gather my words. 

I sigh, "I was hoping Angel would join, I don't know to.. talk about this shit." Shamefully, I admit. 

Pansy's hazel eyes twinkle as she glances at me with inquisition. "Oh, are you comfortable with talking about it? After the whole—"

"Yes," I confess truthfully, "It's actually made me.. want to know about sex."

She giggles lively, "Ah, yes, I got you." Her hand situates on my knee, "So you want to know what Draco's like?" 

I nod, hiding back a smile from how silly this seemed. 

"Well, there's no way to beat around to bush— you'll be hobbling around like a bloody penguin afterwards." Pansy discloses, my eyes widen in surprise. "Yeah, exactly. Did you want to fuck him or something?"

Hesitating, knowing being honest right now would help in Pansy assisting me. "Well.. we kissed the other night, and we talked about and agreed that is was a build up of emotions— since I've known him since I was like eight."

"No way!" Pansy beams, squeezing my knee from her random burst of shock. "Your the girl he always talked about."

I knit my eyebrows together, "What?!" 

Pansy grins, her pearly white teeth showing. "In third year, before him and I started fucking, he'd always talk about this girl that hung out with him at family events n' shit." 

"Really?" I blink in bafflement.

She nods, "Yep, then after Christmas he came back to school and said he despised you."

"Oh yeah.. we fixed that issue." I awkwardly tell, tugging at the string of my white socks and twirling it around my index finger.

"I know the reason, I may of.. um.. attacked your sister and yelled at her." Pansy laughs shamefully, "That didn't go well, got a busted lip and proven wrong."

I hide back my smile, "So you know about his father? and the reason why he hates me along with the truth?" 

Pansy raises her eyebrows as he nods, "Sure do, I'd never tell a soul though, but I don't mind discussing Draco in bed." She reaches over to her nightstand, hauling the drawer open and ferreting her hand around until she yanks a notebook out from  
beneath stacks of papers. "I wrote a list, I mostly made it for Astoria and I wish I never did." Pansy rolls her eyes, "The bitch is obsessed with him, it's ridiculous how she knows he fucks other girls but doesn't care."

"I don't particularly like her either." I laugh quietly, then Pansy places the notebook on my lap. 

"Now, it's brief but you can ask questions on them." Pansy informs, I flick the pages of the notebook and realise the first page had what I was looking for.

1\. dominant 

"Dominant?" I query her, glancing up from the parchment and to her.

"You are not allowed to be in charge, he likes having power over girls in bed." Pansy imparts joyfully, seemingly gleeful with talking about these subjects. "He tells you what to do, what you can touch, all that stuff." 

My eyes widen, "Wow." She giggles, ushering me to continue.

2\. dirty talk

"Feel like that's self explanatory." I shrug, twiddling with the edge of the page between my thumb and index. 

"Yep." 

3\. rough, very

"Oh Merlin— rough." I feel myself get winded, coming to the realisation that Draco definitely wasn't a softie.

Pansy giggles, "Yeah, trust me though, it's not as bad as it seems."

I furrow my brows, "What's it like?" 

"Like not slow fucking at all, honestly feels like he's going to break you." Pansy shrugs, "It's good though, like the nice type of pain." 

4\. NOT VANILLA

"Isn't vanilla like just sex? Nothing too special?" I quiz Pansy, our eyes meeting and I fail to contain a smile. "This is so funny to talk about."

"I know, but it's entertaining, is it not?" She places her hand upon my knee again, "But to answer your question, yes, sex with him is far from vanilla."

I hum, "Explain?" I inquire nicely, Pansy smirks, yet again, and a long sigh escapes her. 

"Goodness— you're aware that Draco's going to like.. destroy you?" She chuckles, squeezing my knee. "You act so innocent, and you are. He's going to practically dive head first into fucking you, I know I would."

"You would.. fuck me?" I cautioned, being wary if I heard her correctly.

Pansy nods, "Well yeah, you are really pretty." My face begins to flush with warmth, no doubt my cheeks growing a rosey hue. 

"Thank you." I smile, earning a smile in return from Pansy.

"We're getting sidetracked, I'd explain the non-vanilla shit but it's better left a surprise." Pansy admits, taking her hand off my knee and brushing strands of her hair that had fallen over her face. 

"I'm not even sure if I want to fuck him— it's all complicated between us." I falter, twisting my lips to the side while Pansy glances at me in visible thought. "Last time we kissed I was really stoned, I'm not sure if I'd be confident enough to ask him to fuck, or whatever."

Pansy snickers, "Ray, was he sober?" I nod, Pansy continues. "Did he initiate it?" I nod once more, "So, he was sober, initiated, there's no way in hell he doesn't want to fuck you."

I sigh, "What if he doesn't want to? Because of the whole.. Argento thing."

"Pfft, Ray, I'm almost certain he'd fuck you just to get Argento's touch off you." Pansy chirps, her words being rather convincing. "Say, I'll talk to him."

"You won't like— mention I was here?" I warily ask, Pansy chuckles from my worry.

She shakes her head, "No, I won't, I'll just have a little talk with him."

"Thanks." I laugh, "How will I know I'll like it though.. I'm scared that if he agrees, I'll think of Argento."

Pansy scoffs, "If your fucking him, no thoughts will come to your mind, trust me." Her hazel eyes linger between my eyes and my lips, "Can I try something?"

I nod hesitantly, but curiously. 

Unexpectedly, Pansy cups my face while she leans forward and softly clashes her lips against mine. Her lips felt warm, gentle upon my own with her hands cupping face brings a sense of comfort through my veins, helping me ease into the kiss and move my lips in rhythm with hers. I place my hands atop of my thighs, pressing down while I move myself closer to her. 

Taken aback quite a bit, however the feeling of doing something so touchy and impassioned with another made me feel in control, just what I've been craving to feel for weeks. Doing this freely, knowing I could stop if I wanted to had eased my worries and understanding that I was kissing someone who doesn't appear to have bad intentions.

Pansy draws back from the kiss, dropping her hands from the side of my face and sends me a cheekily smile. "Did you think just then? About Argento or anything?"

I shake my head side to side, realising what she meant. "You were right."

"Of course I was," Pansy chuckles softly, grazing her finger tips across my hands that were still situated upon her thighs. "You're a good kisser, Ray."

"I am?" I wonder in surprise, never did I ever think I was. "I've only done it twice now.."

Pansy nods, "Merlin— it's like you were born to fuck." She giggles, causing me to chuckle with her. "Trust me, if you get uncomfortable, Draco will stop. I know he cares about you."

I smile, "I appreciate your help."

⋆  
⋆

felt like we didn't have much of Pansy's presence! 

if you don't understand why Raven isn't more reserved after being taken advantage of, I'll explain it real quick.

↝ Raven wants to feel in control of the situation, knowing that she's with someone who respects her and would stop if she became uncomfortable. 

↝ she also wants to feel what sex is actually like, seeing as Oskar ruined her first time, so she wants to change her perspective on sex

↝ as well, she wants to forget about his touch, hoping that another's will help heal her 

It's quite common for people to want sex after being raped, either to forget about it or to heal from it.

In Raven's case, she just wants to have sex with someone who will show her how it's meant to feel.

you may think I'm moving on too fast with Raven healing from the experience, but I healed from mine in a few weeks ♥

Like I said in the beginning, I like to write about my experiences and raise awareness. 

Everyone is different, and everyone heals differently ♥


	32. Chapter 32

Draco's POV

Raven, fucking Raven Winters.

Never did I think I'd be thinking so studiously over her, since the conversation at the astronomy tower on Sunday night I have been endlessly questioning how I felt for her. Her reaction to me on Monday honestly caused everything within me to heighten to a categorical level, how her striking eyes widened when she comprehended what I said, how I noticed her thighs press together and that she anxiously looked away; seemingly concentrating arduously on whatever it was, which I have a clear idea on what it actually was.

I found it surprising that she got turned on after everything, but I suppose I'm content with the realisation that she's looked past Argento and concluded that sex does not feel like what that sickening boy did to her. 

Me thinking about her like this is dangerous, along with extremely unpredictable. For some exasperating reason, I have to use all my strength within me to hold myself back from her; if she wasn't high that night, I probably would've fucked her. She's so hard to resist and I have absolutely so clue why. 

Relentlessly daydreaming upon on all the tiniest and simple things she probably unknowingly does only grew my friend feelings into something more, and it was wrong. Raven's just so pretty, I can never keep my eyes off her. If I'm truthful, she's always been so pretty to me, even as a kid. It's not just her looks though, it's every tiny thing about her. How she's so quiet, five weeks ago I thought she was insane for being so silent, but I don't mind it anymore; it only dragged me in even more, I want to be close to my childhood friend again— but it wouldn't be easy.

Her twinkling, captivating eyes were a mixture of freshly bloomed lilacs in spring, icy blues of a frozen over lake, along with speckles of pretty teals and glistening gems of emeralds and jades. They're so striking, I could honestly examine all the colours of her iris's if I wanted to. Behind all the vivid hues of her eyes, I notice a wall of defence built up but recently it had seemed to weaken slightly; Raven allowing it too. Nevertheless, I still couldn't see past her gaze and fully understand her, but I'm sure one day I will.

Raven's smile, her fucking smile seemed to effortlessly settle a blanket of serenity over me. Yet, it still had its mysterious aspect and the usual power behind it, her smile was always meaningful towards anyone. Typically, if Raven didn't feel like speaking much, she would smile and it appeared to show her answer instead of her telling it. 

I hate myself for thinking about her like this, it's so unlike me. Firstly, it's nonsensical and even Raven said the kiss didn't mean anything— but I know she felt the same feeling I did, a feeling of craving and longing for one another's touch. I had never felt like that with anyone, and it supposedly worried me. 

Secondly, it's essentially unsafe, seeing as our fathers would not even authorise us to be friends, I'm sure fucking her wasn't allowed either; even though they'd never find out anyway. The worst thing is that Raven would be worth it, I just don't want her father to loose it with her. I'm fine with bearing it, but she's been through enough. 

Thirdly, catching feelings for Raven, again, would be tiring. I liked her in first, second and third year, but stopped when my father began being abusive and basically drilled into my mind that Raven was an inbreed, which meant she's the scum of the earth and an embarrassment. Not to mention that she supposedly told her father everything, which I now know the truth of— so I don't really have any reason to dislike her.

Fucking hell, she is driving me insane. 

"Why aren't you in charms, Draco?" A girls voice sounds from behind as I sat on the leather sofa in common room, having decided to skip charms because I could not be fucked with that little man called Flitwick for another day. 

"Because I'm not." I reply to Pansy, who takes a seat beside me and sighs loudly. 

Ignoring her, I keep my focus on the Potions revision book— needing to get a move on with the assignment, considering Blaise's strengths weren't laid in Potions at all, so I have to do all the fucking work. 

"I talked to Raven the other day," Pansy announces, the usual sweet tone in her voice that shown through when she wanted attention. 

"Okay, and?" I question, maintaining my eyes in the potions textbook. 

"She's a good kisser." She states, her words making my eyes immediately widen. I shut the book, glancing at her as I attempt to locate any sign of her lying.

I snicker, "Winters kissed you?" She definitely wasn't lying, why did Raven kiss her though?

"Yeah," She shrugs, "Probably would have asked to fuck her too but that's your job."

Knitting my brows together, I stare at Pansy in disbelief. "My job? What are you talking about? Winters doesn't want that."

Pansy scoffs, "You must be oblivious, Draco. Astoria's fucked with your head." 

"Did you talk to her or something?" I ask, Pansy instantly nods in response. 

"She should be telling you this, but she seems to shy too," Pansy longs on her voice, I glance at her as I impatiently wait for her to continue. "The girl is fucking horny, Draco."

I blink at Pansy, I had suspicions that she was— just wary of acting on it, I don't want to trigger her or anything. 

"Angel told me that you.. turned Raven on... Oh my god I'm saying too much." She rubs her temples in annoyance, her eyes close for a brief moment before she looks at me again. "She's really pretty, you know, and scarily your type."

"Oh, not to mention, she's the sweetest girl I've ever met. And the best girl I've ever kissed." Pansy jokes, her lips perking up as I roll my eyes at her.

I huff, "It is a very bad idea."

Pansy rolls her eyes in sheer annoyance, "Why?"

"Is it not obvious?" I raise my eyebrows at her, Pansy immediately pouts in adoration.

"Awww.. does Draco Malfoy have a little crush on Raven again?" She continues pouting, I sigh and go to stand up but she quickly grabs my wrist, "Stay." She composed herself, wiping the emerging smirk off her face. "I know you more than anyone, Draco, and I can tell your scared about 'falling in love' again, but where's the harm in trying?"

"There's a lot of harm in trying." I scoff, resting my head back against the sofa and closing my eyes. 

"Your father? hers? Draco, you said anything about telling people. You're not affectionate in public anyway." Pansy laughs, annoyingly she's fucking right.

Maybe I'm overthinking everything?

"We will see," I huff, "Thanks for blessing me with the knowledge that you kissed her."

Pansy hums, "She's all yours, I was just proving something to her." I glance back at her, watching as she stands up. "I'd warn her about all your little rules." — and with that, Pansy disappears down the girls dormitory corridor.

Well that fucking complicated things. 

Raven's POV

The day ended slower than yesterday, which I minded a lot. Tuesday's, I had DADA bright and early in the morning, and Professor Snape should earn a medal for being able to dampen ones spirit and joy so quickly. With just a stare and a single letter uttered by his stale voice, it has no trouble in inducing boredom and a lack of liveliness upon me. Draco wasn't in charms, that's not very new honestly, he doesn't seem to ever attend Charms. However, his absence from Transfigurations confused me profoundly; but nonetheless, he's evidently not in a mood to sit in a class with a persistent woman that turns into a cat and doesn't allow him to nap in class. 

"Afternoon, Ray." Pansy beams, coming up from beside me and walking along with me. I smile in acknowledgment, sending a brief glance before fixating my eyes in front of me. "So.. I talked to Draco."

I turn to her momentarily, "What did he say?" 

Pansy halts in her talking, probably thinking about what to say. "To tell the truth, I told him I kissed you and I saw his face light up with jealously."

"Oh Merlin." I mutter under my breath, hiding back a daring laugh.

"I know, but I told him the truth. He's worried about your fathers, and catching feelings for you." Pansy informs, draping her arm over my shoulder and lightly pulling me closer towards her side; ensuring no one could hear. "He didn't verbally say it, however I think he wants to fuck you."

I furrow my burrows, shocked by her words. "Are you being serious?" 

"Mhm," She replies, I glance at her to see a sweet smile on her face. "Honestly, he's like talking to a brick wall. I wish you luck though." Pansy gives me a little squeeze, then takes her arm off from over my shoulder and turns down a left corridor we were soon to pass. 

I blink, processing what she just said. 

Did he want to or did he not?

Guess there's only one way to find out.


	33. Chapter 33

"Ray," I hear Angel's voice from behind me, then a hand smacks my arse, I gasp and face her with surprise, "Look at you and your little skirt, did you not notice the amount of ogling eyes?" Angel asks me in shock, pointing behind us. I glance over my shoulder, viewing the eyes of students dart away frantically to anywhere but myself and Angel.

I snicker, "I must be interesting to look at or something."

Angel nudges me, "You are interesting to look at, people would be crazy to not take a lil' peak at you." She jokes, making me giggle from her playfulness. 

We were heading to the Great Hall for dinner, and I am absolutely terrified of talking to Draco, or even glance at him for that matter. Pansy undoubtedly told Draco everything, seeing as she mentioned that her and I kissed— which was the most scandalous aspect of our conversation in my opinion, the rest was relatively okay in terms of embarrassing; Well, it wasn't embarrassing really, especially kissing Pansy. That didn't feel embarrassing at all, I wouldn't mind if she told people about that since it didn't really mean anything, she was just proving a point. It just happened to be fun at the same time, helpful and fun.

So, I guess I'm assuming she told Draco quite a lot, but what did I expect? they used to date, meaning they're comfortable with each other, I think. I'd rather she told him we kissed instead of him finding out she had a brief list of what he was like in bed, which I was now known with— that seems stranger than everything else we discussed on Monday night.

"How'd it go with Pansy?" Angel wonders, her green eyes fixated on mine with eagerness to know.

"We kissed." I admit, the words rolling off my tongue with no chance of being held back. 

Angel gasps, "Ray! I send you in there to find out about Draco, not kiss her!"

I chuckle softly from Angel's shocked appearance, "She was proving a point. Said I wouldn't think of much if I fucked Draco, and I was skeptical." I begin confessing to Angel, calming her down almost instantly. "So, she kissed me and asked if I thought about anything, which I didn't."

"Was it good?" Queries Angel, her expression morphing back to interest and inquisition.

Shrugging, I briefly not. "I guess so."

"That's so fun, I'm jealous. So, what was the outcome? Scared? Intrigued?" She ponders on, longing her voice on as she mentions possibly feelings I had towards him. 

I hum in thought, "I'm not sure, honestly."

Angel shrugs, "I get where your coming from, but if you end up doing it— please tell me." She pouts like a little child that begs for a toy they saw in the front of the store, her eyes glistening with beg. 

"Of course." I roll my eyes, entering the Great Hall and wandering to our usual seats.

We sit down, Ivy already being there along with Vesper, Theo and Blaise— but no Draco, is he avoiding me? 

No, I am already overthinking, he's just not bothered to deal with people today. 

That sounds about right. 

Headmaster Dumbledore does a little speech, but I wasn't paying much attention— I think it was about Wednesday Care for Magical Creatures class had been moved to a classroom, not being outside Hagrid's Hut or wherever they usually go.

"Crabbe!! You know I will not hesitate to hex you if you eat all the goddamn potato's." Ivy seethes at the large boy, who throws his hands up in defence. I wasn't entirely hungry, so I decided to hold off from eating and have a big breakfast tomorrow. Instead of eating, I stick my nose into firestarter and focus my attention on the horror novel.

"Ah— there he is." Blaise says, my eyes trailing up to meet where his were— lo and behold, Draco was walking towards us all with his hands in his pockets, looking bored out of his mind. Draco takes a seat beside Blaise, which happened to directly opposite me.

Merlin was really testing me. 

"Where were you?" Blaise asks him, seeming concerned. 

Draco shrugs, "Couldn't be fucked with class." Blaise rolls his eyes at him while snickering, then continues to eat his food.

No please, Blaise talk to him more. Save me from his attention. 

Nonetheless, it was too late, I glance up from my book and immediately meet Draco's silver gaze. Draco smirks, causing my systems to run wild and the deviant sensation to prickle my core. I tear my eyes away from him, refusing to look back up as the wet feeling in my underwear didn't need to grow. From his just smirking at me, I felt myself already completely crumble beneath him and it was a strange feeling.

Like I said, no ones ever had this affect on me and it's bizarre that I feel this way for Draco now; being around six weeks into school, why didn't my body react like this on the first day? Keeping my eyes away from him, compelling myself to focus on just the book as I know if I took a brief second to peer up, I'd find it unfeasible to rip my eyes from his.

"So, how's the Potions assignment going?" Blaise jokes to Draco, nudging him with his elbow. 

"You're useless, Blaise, you know that right?" Draco replies, the annoyance audible in his voice.

Blaise laughs, "I apologise."

"You should join into our group, Draco." Angel informs, I tear my eyes from the novel and glance at Angel. "I'm sure Blaise will find a partner, and Slughorn won't care."

I was mentally face palming myself while thinking about physically attacking Angel, she knew exactly what she was doing. Still refusing to look at Draco, I shift my eyes back to the novel in defeat. There's no point to even begin arguing with Angel, she'd win anyway or wouldn't back down even if she was wrong, so looks like I'm dealing with it.

"You're evil, Fletcher." Blaise snarls at her, I mentally thank him for doing that. "Why can't I join? Winters is fucking smart, I'd get an easy O."

I scoff, glancing up at him. "I assure you I am not doing all the work." 

Blaise shuts his mouth, "Apologies." 

Thirty minutes pass, students now being allowed to leave or stay for the remainder thirty minutes; which most of the Slytherin's leave at this time, which I don't really understand why. Angel and I were still at the table, it was using every muscle and bone within me to resist pouncing on her. 

Draco had left with Blaise, meaning I can now freely look up and not get dragged into the black hole of his stare. As much as I wanted the throbbing sensation in my underwear to heighten, it definitely shouldn't happen while I sitting in the Great Hall, that seems quite vulgar. Nonetheless, it annoyingly intrigued me. 

"Angel, I might hex you." I threaten, keeping my focus on the book.

"It'll be fine, plus he needed saving— Blaise is useless at Potions." Angel admits, shuffling herself closer to me on the bench and wrapping her arms around me. "Forgive me." She pleads, in which I giggle at her.

"I forgive you." I roll my eyes playfully, she takes her arms back to herself. 

"Hey Angeline, Ray." A sweet voice says from behind us, we both glance at the blonde haired Ravenclaw at the same time. 

Angel smiles, "Luna, hey." I too smile at the celestial girl in front of us. 

Luna softly clears her throat, "Hermione just wanted me to inform you that the Tuesday nights have been changed to Friday." She tells kindly, flickering her gaze between Angel and I.

"Sounds good." Angel replies, the girl skips off without a care in the world nor bothering with the few snickers from Slytherin students.

"I guess that's more convenient." I shrug, folding the corner of the books page and closing it. 

Angel nods, "It is, they may of convinced Hermione to drink an alcohol other than butterbeer."

"Poor Hermione." I laugh softly, "We should head back."

"Head back so you can feel what sex is all about?" Angel bubbles, she immediately stands and as so I. 

I roll my eyes, "Not sure yet."

Angel and I begin walking out of the Great Hall, towards the common room. 

"I saw the tension, you were refusing to look at him." Angel giggles, linking her arm with mine. "Might've been a bad idea, though."

I furrow my eyes at her, "What makes you say that?" 

Angel snickers, "Seemed to amuse him more than annoy him."

"You're kidding?" I grumble in irritation, viewing Angel's face beam as she grins brightly to imply she definitely wasn't kidding.

"Just be honest with him, I've seen how you two look at each other." Angel shrugs, ferreting into my pocket and tugging out a gum packet, she holds it out in front and I take a piece, popping it into my mouth. "Probably why Astoria is so bitchy about it."

I sigh, "Fucking forgot about that bitch."

Angel chuckles, "Wish I could forget about her, but do whatever makes you feel comfortable."

"I will." I reply

⋆  
⋆


	34. mature

In this present moment, I'm standing in front of Draco's door at ten o'clock at night with the lanterns on the corridor walls barely illuminating anything, causing it to be quite difficult to see clearly. When Angel and I arrived to common room, the sight of Astoria's hands all over Draco had honestly put me off talking to him— however I found it impossible to sleep, my mind whizzing with numerous thoughts while I felt a craving to feel the pulsating sensation in my core. I had found myself staring at the ceiling of my room after twisting and turning in an attempt to fall asleep, but it was no use.

I pondered on if I was really that annoyed by Astoria being touchy with Draco, he's not mine and he's allowing her to be a leech because it keeps her from owling my father or snitching on me to her own. Annoyingly, I might just have to struggle with that aspect of this. Draco and I couldn't ever be publicly talking as friends without Astoria blabbering her mouth, there's no doubt she'll snitch right away if she found out anything. However, tussling around the pest of Astoria and her obsession with Draco seems tolerable, especially if things go well tonight.

Nerves, anxieties and worry of humiliating myself were gathering inside me, making it almost impossible to knock on his door. It had only been like a minute of me studiously running over whether this was a good idea, or if I had misunderstood the entire scenario; but I truly hope I didn't, that'd be terribly embarrassing. I wasn't nervous because of what could transpire any time soon, it mostly came about from my overthinking of the whole situation- like what if he thinks I'm ugly? What if I'm not good? stupidly overthinking and worrying myself.

Worry never usually consumes me when I take action into decisions, I'm sometimes impulsive and everything seems to happen in the spur of the moment with me— but not this. I had been deliberating this for about an hour, ever since I tried to go to sleep. Eventually, I grew sick of contemplating it, the spontaneous and impulsive aspects of myself had overpowered everything else. So, it all lead up this moment.

With anxieties brewing within me, I force myself to lightly tap my knuckles against the door. I'm not certain to how long I stood waiting, I highly doubt it was a while but my nerves had longed it, however the door finally crept open. My eyes fixate on Draco's, he smirks and lets me in, shutting the door behind me.

"Took you long enough." Draco continues smirking at me, causing my words to get lodged in my throat and unable to escape off my tongue. I gulp, allowing the nerves and tension to sink. 

"You were waiting?" My eyes wander down, seemingly just now comprehending that he wasn't wearing a shirt. His grey sweatpants were low on his hips, showing off a slight sight of his V line. Unable to take my eyes off his physique, I hear Draco lowly chuckle at me.

"Winters, you having fun staring?" He queries me, my face flushing with warmth and a pink hue glowing on my cheeks. I glance up, our eyes meeting and I immediately fall into the powerful trap that his silver eyes had on mine. 

"Yes." I reply boldly, my sudden confidence inducing Draco to raise his eyebrows at me in amusement. Unexpectedly, he steps forward and I take a step back, we continue with that motion until I back into the door.

Draco stands closely in front of me, he draws his bottom lip between his teeth while he brings his hand to my face, tucking stray hairs behind my ear. "Pansy told me you kissed her." Draco glides the tips of his fingers along the side of my face, stopping when he reaches my chin and situates two fingers beneath my chin, lifting my face up higher to compensate to his towering height. 

"Ye— Yeah." I mutter, completely unravelling from his touch.

"I find it amusing that I turn you on, Winters." He smirks as he notices my breaths hitch, I gulp from a lack of words and thoughts; Pansy was right, thinking while being under his touch is quite literally impossible.

"Do you want this?" Draco asks, I bite my bottom lip as I was at an utter loss for words. 

"Yes." I affirm, watching his lips part slightly and he sucks in a sharp, quiet breath. "I want you to fuck me, Draco." Adding onto my words, Draco doesn't waste any time as he cups my face with both hands and dives his lips upon mine. 

The sensation sends prickles across my body, a feeling of craving consuming me from his lips against mine. Desire devours me, overpowering my modest aspects, then replaces it with eagerness and emotions of desire. Gliding my hands up his chest slowly before coiling my arms behind the back of his neck, hoisting myself up to tippy-toes to assist with our height differences. Draco's hands travel down to my waist, then he briefly draws back from the kiss. "Jump." He orders, to which I immediately obey to him and jump. 

Wrapping my legs around his waist, Draco slams me roughly against the door; our bodies now closer than ever. Draco's cold hands trail under the hem of my baggy, white shirt and slowly move up until his hands rest in the curve of my waist, gripping me tightly. I can feel his icy, metal rings against my warm skin and the sensation shoots goosebumps to cloud my skin, a shiver zapping up my spine. 

Draco tugs at my bottom lip as he draws our lips apart, his eyes fixated on mine and I notice a lustful fire behind his stare. "Promise me, Raven, do you want me to fuck you?" His words were so crude, but him asking for consent meant everything to me. 

"I promise, Draco." I breath heavily, biting my lip to conceal my brimming anticipation. 

"Fuck." Draco utters under his breath, then begins to plant kisses along my jawline and down my neck. Moving my head to the side, allowing him easier access, I feel him smirk against my skin from my action. He sucks roughly on my pulse point, causing me to lightly moan from the pleasureful feeling. "Ray, I need you to know some things.." He trails on between rough kisses he plants along my skin, "I don't know if I can go soft on you."

"I don't care." I breathe, moving my hand up to his hair and grasping it gently to bear the surging pleasure.

"You're mine after tonight, I need you to understand that I can take you whenever and wherever I want." He continues through harsh kisses, speckling the side of my neck with purple and red hues.

I sigh in gratification, his words having a sole affect on me. "Yes— I understand."

"You do what I tell you to do, no  
complaining or arguing." Draco proceeds, each one of the 'rules' causing a pool to develop in my underwear. I loved it, being so under his control— he's possessive. 

He halts in kissing my neck, bringing his face up to meet glances again. "Promise?"

"I promise." I nod, attempting to restrain myself. Draco clashes his lips against mine again, moving his hands out from under my shirt and moving them to my rear, supporting me as he walks over to his bed. 

Eagerness is brimming within me, as well as lust and desire. I had never realised how much I longed for his touch until now, and I wanted it badly. Every subtle movement of his fingers against my skin sent shockwaves throughout out weakening figure, quickly becoming unravelled from his mere touch alone. 

I'm slightly desperate, since this is exactly what I've needed after the incident with Argento. I never comprehended that this is what I definitely wanted, but with his body so close to mine, I immediately understand that I want this. There's plenty of boys in this school, nonetheless I seem to crave the one that's the most dangerous for me. I can't see myself with any other student in this school, other than Draco. It felt right that his lips were locked onto mine, or his hands gently squeezing my arse, or even my fingers gripping his hair— only Draco could show me what sex was meant to feel like, no body else. 

Draco places me in the centre of his bed, my head laying comfortably against the soft pillows. Wasting no time, he hovers over me and uses his knee to spread my legs apart before positioning himself between them. His hand contacts with my neck, to which he gently squeezes the sides and I feel his rings dig into the fresh hickeys. Gasping quietly from the cool sensation on the tender skin of my neck, Draco smirks into the kiss and trails his other hand down my side, stopping at the hem of my shirt. My shirt had rode up, now putting the black lacy underwear I wore on full display.

I hadn't really though about what I was wearing, I practically bolted out of my room without a second thought so my confidence wouldn't leave me from pondering what to wear. Wearing only the loose, white shirt and black panties, I accidentally made it all too easy for Draco— which I don't mind, I want him badly. 

Our lips part, Draco releases his heightening grip on my neck and tugs at the hem of my shirt. Leaning up slightly, allowing Draco to take my shirt off, he effortlessly hauls it off and throws it to the floor. Draco bites his bottom lip, his eyes wandering over the sight of my bare chest. Then, I realised; I didn't feel vulnerable, I felt comfortable and safe— just how I hoped I would feel.

He dives back down, his lips against mine tougher than before from the anticipation and lust cramming within us both, craving for one others touch. His hand snakes back onto my neck, gripping tighter than the first time but just enough strength for it to feel amazing and that I can still breathe freely. His other hand grabs both my hands in a swift movement, shifting them above my head and pinning them there.

"Keep them there." Draco murmurs against my lips, I nod in response and my words unable to be enunciated, then he breaks the kiss and starts planting rough kisses along my neck. Slowly, he travels further down, his hand departing from my neck and clasping my boob while he continues kissing down my body. 

He reaches the hem of my panties, biting his lip before hooking his fingers beneath the fabric and tugging at them. Willingly raising my legs to help him remove them, his index and middle finger immediately slide through my folds with ease. It feels heavenly, I couldn't believe I was about to fuck Draco Malfoy.

Dragging my bottom lip between my teeth, my eyebrows furrowed from the surging pleasure. I flicker my eyes between Draco's lustful eyes, which were watching my every move with amusement, and where his fingers slipped between my folds slowly. I buck my hips, pleading for him to stop teasing me. "Please." I whimper, gripping the pillow while I beg for his fingers to enter me. Gazing at Draco with plea, I view a glint flash across his eyes as he draws his bottom lip between his teeth and carefully plunges his middle finger into me. 

My back arches from the much needed sensation, I softly moan and enthral my eyes on Draco's finger slowly move in and out of me. "More, Draco." I beg, grasping the pillow even tighter in my hands. I flicker my eyes up to Draco, who appears all too amused by my begging state and proud of himself for utterly weakening me with ease. 

"Of course, princess." Draco leans down, kissing my neck softly and adds his ring finger into my core, the coolness of the metal ring against my sensitive, warm skin conveys goosebumps to shroud my skin once again. His words bounce around in my mind, completely divulging myself into the sudden pet name. His thumb begins circling my clit while he picks up his pace, moving his fingers faster and curling them inside me. He moves up again, watching my features contort from the overwhelming pleasure. Our eyes remain on one another's with desire. 

"Draco—" I moan, biting my lip to stop myself. Viewing Draco's free hand nearing me, he tugs my bottom lip from amidst my teeth and runs his thumb along my lip.

"I want to hear your pretty moans, love." Draco coos, making me melt beneath him. "Let them out."

His thumb runs circles firmly over my clit, my back arching from the sheer pleasure rushing through my veins and the pressure on my core. Draco's fingers thrust in and out at a gratifying pace, curling faultlessly inside me. I can feel my walls tightening around his fingers, and I think Draco noticed it too. "Cum for me, scream my name." Draco whispers, his hot, minty breath causing the hairs on my neck to prick up. 

"Draco!" I scream, with his pace faster than ever, I feel an invisible coil within me and I shake as I cum for the first time ever. I had never been into self-pleasuring, so I had no idea what to expect— but it definitely wasn't this. The sensations dreamlike, I'm catapulted into a sight of stars as I squint my eyes shut. It was unlike what I thought It'd be, better than I imagined. Coming down from my high, I open my eyes and breathe heavily. Draco's argentine gaze was on mine, a smirk on his lips from realising he was the first person to ever make me cum. 

"Fuck, you look so hot when you cum." Draco kisses my lips gently, removing his fingers from my pussy and parting his lips from mine. "Suck." He holds the fingers that had just been inside me in front of me, running the fingers of his fingers along my bottom lip. I hesitate for a second, then open my mouth and Draco's slides his fingers in. Enclosing my lips around his fingers, tasting myself and sucking his fingers clean.

"Good girl." Draco takes his fingers out slowly, drawing down my bottom lip as he does. "Tell me if it hurts, okay?"

I nod, watching as his hand shifts down to the waistband of his grey sweatpants. My eyes widen in a slight fear when he tugs the fabric down, revealing his erect dick. The rumours were definitely correct, absolutely no lie at all. How was it going to fit? 

Draco seems to notice my brewing worry of his large size, "Don't worry, princess, I'll make it fit." Draco holds his cock, rubbing it along my soaking pussy and the sensation was tripled from my recent climax. "Look at me." He orders, in which I instantly flick my eyes from his dick to his eyes, enthralling my gaze on his as I anticipate the new feeling soon to shoot through me. 

I watch as Draco bites his lip, pressing firmly as he guides his tip into me, and I immediately comprehended that I most definitely wasn't walking tomorrow. His eyes stay on mine, intently reassuring me with his gaze while he pushes more of himself inside. "Fuck— you're so tight." He groans, his husky voice rushing tingles through my veins and my heartbeat quickens more than it already was. Sudden, he shoves the rest of himself inside me and inhales sharply. 

Wincing, I gulp while Draco begins steadily moving half of his dick out of me, then thrusts it all inside again. "Shit." I whimper, feeling tears prickle the corner of my eyes. After a few slow thrusts, I adjust to his size and feel the tingling agony turn to sheer pleasure. "Fa—Faster." I beg quietly.

"What was that, Ray? Speak up." Draco slows his pace, teasing me.

"Go faster Draco, please." I buck my hips, with my eyes still on Draco's, I watch him smirk with amusement and instantly listens to my begging, thrusting his hips quicker and rougher against mine. His hands move down to my legs, where he firmly grabs one and places it around his waist, realising what he was doing I freely move the other; interlocking my ankles behind him. 

The position gave him more access to shove deeper inside of me, tears that were prickling my waterline escape from his soaring pace and trail down the side of my face. Draco wipes them away, smiling down at me with pure pride from invoking tears to come about. His icy hand squeezes my neck again while the situates beside my head, propping himself up.

"Holy shit— you feel so good." Draco moans lowly, causing me to whimper in response. "I-can't-believe-I'm-finally-fucking-you." He plunges rougher than ever into me in between his words, my mind completely drowning in the realisation that he's wanted this was much as I did. 

His pace is at a merciless pace, slamming his hips against mine, the intensity earning him loud whimpers and soft moans to escape my mouth. I move my hips with him, getting ahold of the rhythm and fucking him back. Bouncing off his dick, the knot within me tightening again— but this time it feels a lot more powerful and intense. My climax brews inside me, making it impossible to keep my hands above my head for any longer. Going against what Draco said, I quickly move my arms to his back and feel his muscles tensing beneath my touch.

"Fuck— Draco." I scream, Draco shoves himself harder and faster inside of me, his hand squeezing my neck tighter with a ruthless strength and his hips slamming against mine vigorously. Digging my nails into his back, Draco groans from my motion and dips his lips to lock against my neck again. 

With the sensation of him sucking the tender skin of my neck aggressively and the powerful thrusts inside me, my climax grow closer and closer, soon to topple over the edge and utterly consume me. "Dr—Draco, I'm—" I'm unable to get the words out as Draco interrupts me.

"Hold on, Ray." He murmurs beside my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I gulp, then part my lips as delirious moans escape my mouth. Draco nips at my skin, I gasp in response but it quickly turns into a moan as he sucks on the spot he nipped.

My nearly orgasms becoming implausible to restrain, I'm soon to let go and allow it to take me over. "I can't— hold it anymore." I manage to say through my shallow breaths, Draco kisses my neck one last time before moving up and fixating his eyes on mine. With my walls clenching around his dick, I feel his large size completely fill my tightened pussy and causing a sweet agony to shoot through my core. 

"Me— either." Draco stutters, shoving his large dick into me at a extreme pace, his hips slamming against mine were bound to cause bruises. "Shit— cum right now, be a good girl." He also attempts speak through his sharp breaths, simply from his word the knot within me snaps abruptly and I feel everything spin as I hit my climax. 

Draco thrusts into me more aggressive then ever, before I feel his warm orgasm hit my walls. He throws his head back, a low moan escaping him as he rides himself through his climax. His shoves slow down and grow sloppier, us both panting to collect our breaths. Draco kisses my neck one last time, then flops beside me and hauls his sweatpants onto his hips again.

"Fuck, didn't think you'd be that good." Draco chuckles, turning to face me. I smile as our eyes meet, my cheeks growing warm and flushing a pink tinge. "Do you want to stay?" He asks, sitting up and grabbing my shirt from the floor. 

"Okay." I take my shirt from him, quickly putting it on and tucking my hair behind my ears. "Do you usually let girls stay over?" I question curiously, budging over to the left on his bed so he'd have more space. 

Draco smirks at me, shuffling over to the space I had gave him. "No I don't." He admits, hauling the covers from beneath him. I lift myself off him, letting him tug them from under me as well. "And before you ask why, it's because they are just hook ups." He answers the question that was soon to leave my mouth. 

"I'm not a hook up?" I smile, allowing Draco to bring the duvet over me. 

"No, you aren't. Get over here." He orders, making me giggle. I nudge closer to him, in which he grabs me and holds me against him. Moving my leg to lay upon his hips, his hand shifts to my thigh and he grazes his hand lightly along my skin. Hesitantly, I rest my hand above his chest and feel his heartbeat beneath my palm, it was already stable. "Winters, don't be hesitant." 

I nod, laying the side of my head against his shoulder. "I'm just.. I have never done this."

Draco chuckles lightly, "Obviously, but relax." 

"Okay." I sigh quietly, drawing circles on his chest with the tip of my index finger. "Am I really not a hook up?"

"No, you're far from a hook up. Why'd you think you were?" Draco asks with concern, seemingly as though he made it clear it was a hook up— which he never did.

I just felt like I was because of everything girls would say, I wanted to make sure.

"Um— it wasn't you or anything, just what I've heard girls say." I admit, Draco sighs and grabs my waist, pulling me on top of him. My legs either side of him, I relax into the the sudden contact and rest my head against his chest. 

"Don't listen to them." He says, his hand skimming beneath my shirt and slowly gliding his fingers along my spine.

I nod against him, "Will Astoria know I was here? Or anyone?" 

"Probably not, we'll figure out how to sneak you out in the morning." Draco murmurs quietly, his other hand raking through my brown locks and detangling the knots that formed from before.

"It sucks that we have to be a secret." I huff softly, "Why do I have to be a halfblood?"

Draco sighs, "That doesn't really mean shit to me anymore, Winters. Just keep this on a down low until we figure out what to do."

"Would you be with me if you could?" I question him, my voice quiet and growing coarse from how tired I am. 

"You know the answer to that." He scoffs, obviously not verbally saying it.

This felt nice, it's a shame it can't happen all the time.

⋆   
⋆

yeehaw, that was a rollercoaster of emotions ! but we got there in the end!!!

Hope you enjoyed them finally b@nging ;)

please vote! it helps me grow and expand my stories to more audiences!


	35. Chapter 35

Draco's POV

Why does it feel so right? It shouldn't, this was dangerous. It's meant to feel wrong, as though it was stupid and nonsensical that we fucked; but it doesn't. 

It fucking doesn't.

Having Raven beside me, with my arms coiled around her waist and holding her body against mine felt so undeniably heavenly. In a way that she's meant to be here and no where else. Raven and I fit together like the two final puzzle pieces of a jigsaw, placing perfectly without any faults or chance of not fitting— and it seriously annoys me. 

I never felt like our friendship was wrong, even after what my father told me about her being a halfblood and everything she disclosed to her father. Honestly, it hurt when he first told me, but when Raven confessed the truth to me— I found no reason as to why I should hold my grudge against her for any longer. Raven being a halfblood meant absolutely fucking nothing to me, it never usually did anyway. I saw past her 'scum' blood status, maybe if I was known about it when we met things would be different.

Easter Holidays, Malfoy Manor, 1992

Narrator POV

"Hey." Draco said, sitting beside the chocolate haired girl who was by herself, her back rested against the trees bark. 

Raven smiled, acknowledging his presence. While Draco leaned on the tree as well, he took into sight of the book she was reading.

'The Stranger Beside Me: Ted Bundy: The Shocking Inside Story'

"Isn't that a muggle serial killer?" He asked her, to which Raven nodded. 

Smiling, she turned to face him, enthralling her eyes upon his features. Draco had came back from Hogwarts for Easter, she'd usually be excited about hanging out with him— but her father had threatened her once more and reminded her that she doesn't deserve pureblood's attention. Her face dropped, shifting her eyes back to the book.

Raven noticed how Draco was sitting on the dirt, completely unaware that his expensive trousers would become dirty. She didn't mind her clothes getting messy, seeing as she wore a hand me down of Vesper's jeans. 

"Draco, you'll get your pants muddy." Raven whispered, keeping her eyes on the book.

He scoffed, "I don't really care, Raven. It's nice to hear your voice for a change." Draco loved Raven's voice, it was always so tranquil and hushed, no audible tones of aggression or stern; just soft, gentle tones. She didn't talk much, but she spoke to Draco more than she did to her own parents. 

The sides of her lips perked up, "How's Hogwarts?" She asked curiously, flipping the page over.

"Fine, Potters annoying." Draco spat Harry Potters name, it made Raven giggled quietly. "You're talking more."

Raven glanced up, her eyes met with Draco's. "I suppose I am." She sighed, her eyes back on the true crime book she had recently became indulged in. "Vespers inside, you should hang out with her."

He furrowed his brows at the girl, confused as to why she said that. "Why would I want to be with her?" Her lips twisted to the side, processing what he said, unable to think of words; she shrugged.

Raven hadn't comprehended that Draco didn't know she was a halfblood, or maybe he did? Either way, she wasn't sure, so she kept her mouth closed.

"Aren't true crime books scary?" Draco questioned her, leaning over slightly to read the page she was on. She chuckled, shaking her head side to side.

"No, it's interesting." She admitted, "I suppose it's scary to think about what went through peoples minds when they realised someone was soon to murder them."

Draco was gobsmacked, she was rambling her mouth more than ever before— right in this moment, she had said more than ever in her entire life. "That's scary." He replied, trailing his eyes over the words as Raven did as well. 

Raven's POV

Shuffling my body around in the cool sheets, feeling the sensation of warm body heat cloud over the icy temperature of the room and the sheets, I flutter my eyes open to see Draco beside me. Jolting in surprise, my mind reminiscing over last night.

Fuck.

I fucked him.

No no no no no no!

Sitting up, shifting my eyes over Draco once more. Diving my focus onto how gorgeous and calm he appeared when he was asleep, his lips were slightly parted and the side of his face nuzzled into the dark grey pillow. His arm was stretched over my lap, once over my chest but had moved from me sitting up in shock. 

Maybe I should just savour this moment? Remove all the stupid, annoying and unnecessary thoughts of the negatives that could arise from this scenario from my mind, and replace them with the positives— which were a lot. 

The negatives were mostly branched from both our fathers reactions to this. It wouldn't end well if they ever found out; I'd be commanded back home, used as a daily punching bag and sparse of my new friends. Draco would earn a dealing from his father, but I highly doubt he'd be dragged home and forced to be devoid of human interaction. 

Positives, well there were many. They could probably overcome the negatives, considering they seemed so overpowering and made me feel like the negatives didn't even matter. I've always wanted this, he's never left my mind ever since the day I met him- And now look, he showed me what sex is meant to feel like and I wasn't considered a hook up to me, which made my heart swell. He made me feel safe, comfortable and changed my perspective on sex. 

It's a shame it's so dangerous.

I'd do anything in my power for us to be safe, especially Draco.

We just fit together. Never an awkward time between us, even when I was silent and he'd just sit there— there was always such an amazing aura surrounding us. 

"Stop thinking." Draco mumbles, ripping me from my deep thoughts. He rolls onto his back, rubbing his eyes tiredly with the palm of his hand. 

I sigh, "I'm stressing." 

"Come here." His hand that lay upon my lap hooks under my thigh, nudging me closer to him. I shuffle back to beneath the covers, letting Draco hold me against his side. Resting my head along his shoulder, his hand moving under me and laying on the curve of my waist. He sighs deeply, "Please stop stressing."

I gulp, "I can't. I wasn't thinking, last night was—"

"Don't finish that sentence." Draco says sharply, I immediately shut my mouth and chew at my bottom lip to stop myself from blurting anything out. "It was not a mistake, Ray."

"It was dangerous." I admit, gliding the tip of my fingers across his collarbone in a light manner. "I don't want you to get hurt."

Draco scoffs, "I won't."

I sigh, accepting defeat and realising he was right. Draco's smart, he knows how to hide things from his father— as do I. I'm just overthinking this entire situation, I need to calm down.

"I didn't hurt you, did I? Is that why your overthinking this?" He asks with concern, I trail my finger along the side of his neck and across his jawline.

"Of course not," I move myself atop of him, situating my legs either side of him and propping my chin upon his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat beneath me. "It was— great?" I hesitate, unsure of how to compliment someone on sex. 

Draco chuckles, "Princess, I'm so glad you didn't let him get to you." His cool hands slide beneath my shirt, glissading along my sides, dipping in with the curve of my waist. "And that you came to me, not some random kid who would have no idea what to do."

"Also, are you like— on any birth control?" He questions with sheer concern, seeing as he came in me. 

Nodding, I contain a smile. "Yeah, muggle birth control."

"But your not active or anything?" He says with confusion, I giggle in response. 

"It does more than stop you getting pregnant, like regulates everything." I inform, Draco nods. 

I giggle, his icy hands shooting chills through my body and shrouding my skin in prickling goosebumps. "Can we be friends again?" I question, sitting up on his hips. Draco budges back, resting his back against the headboard and gliding his hands along to top of my thighs. "Like old times?"

"Yeah." He agrees, causing me to smile like an idiot. "I'm surprised I didn't care you off." His signature smirk emerges on his lips, the throbbing sensation in my core coincides with the soreness and I gently draw my bottom lip between my teeth. 

"I like your rules, Draco." I confess, he chuckles lowly from my response. 

"Good," He twists his finger under the fabric of my underwear, then lets go and traces his hand back up to waist, squeezing firmly. "Because you'd have to deal with them anyway."

I smile, but my face drops as Astoria comes to mind. "You still have to do shit with Astoria, don't you?" Furrowing my eyes, warily glancing up to meet his eyes. 

Draco rolls his eyes, "No."

Conveying a confused expression, I open my mouth to speak but the words escape in silence. Closing my mouth, not even attempting to make my words vocal. 

"Last time I fucked her was ages ago, like second week." Draco informs, loosing his grip on my waist before stroking his thumb up and down in a soothing aspect.

I furrow my brows, "But— Ves said she heard you and her." 

Draco smirks, "That was Blaise and her, they were in my room flirting so I left. I always use a silencing charm, he doesn't." 

"Oh." I feel my heart stabilise from hearing those words, "Does that bother you?" 

"Nah, it would if it was you in her place." His fingers trail up my side, feeling his thumb move over my nipple before descending back down and resting on my hip. 

Smiling, my face flushing with warmth. "Was she just a frequent hook up?" 

Draco shrugs, "We dated, but she mostly did it for the title, which is pathetic." 

"I don't like her." I twist my lips to the side, Draco snickers.

"Me either, really." 

I sigh, "Why'd you date her then?"

He smirks, once more, "Curiosity killed the cat, Ray, haven't I told you enough?" 

"Yes, but I can't help it." I roll my eyes, feeling Draco grip my hip. "What time is it?" 

"Not sure, like eight?" He replies, his other hand parts from my thigh and lingers up to the side of my face, where he softly brushes stray tresses behind my ear. 

Pursing my lips, "How are we going to like— sneak me out?" 

Draco hums, "When class starts I guess."

"So... we stay here for an hour?" I question him, to which he merely nods in affirmation. "Will Astoria see me?"

"No, hopefully no one will be here." He reassures, "Cuddle now." He says childishly, I give him and lay back down, his arms immediately hold my against his chest. 

⋆ ⋆

Draco successfully snuck me out, which would of been easier if I could walk— so we had to be extra careful because he was practically carrying me to my dorm. He waited for me to get changed into my uniform and robes, then we walked to Arithmancy together.

Of course, Ivy was extremely suspicious and kept raising her eyebrow at me the whole lesson, which I nudged my attention from. I'll tell her, just not yet. Arithmancy was good, Draco decided to sit next to me again; blessing the poor Ravenclaw from his usual napping, that he thankfully didn't do this lesson— he actually did his work, it's like him fucking me or something had made him pay attention in class.

If I thought Draco's state was intimidating, then I wasn't prepared for Ivy's. Never have I seen the girl so skeptical in my whole few weeks of attending Hogwarts, she looked as though she was bursting with questions, but she held it all back; I know tonight I'm going to a mouthful of frantic questions, so I'm preparing myself for that.

Currently, it was ten minutes until Potions ended, and Draco hadn't fell asleep yet. Since he was Angel and I's partner, we had to move to a desk in a dark corner to compensate with the larger group we had. Blaise paired up with a Ravenclaw that chose to do the assignment alone, which they'll continuing doing— Blaise didn't seem to be paying a lot of attention.

"Why did we have to Amortentia?" Draco groans in annoyance, propping his chin atop of his palm and flicking his eyes between Angel and I. 

Angel giggles, "It's easy and interesting."

He rolls his eyes, "The others are easy and interesting."

"You accepted her offer, Draco." I snicker, earning a smirk from him. Almost immediately, I close my mouth and focus my attention on composing myself. 

"Exactly, so deal with it." Angel grins at him, showing her pearly teeth.

The remainder ten minutes of the lesson consisted of Angel and Draco arguing, which wasn't that annoying, mostly entertaining. It was over stupid and pointless things, like why we were doing Amortentia or Draco bullying Angel's handwriting, which he's attain a scowl from the girl. 

I was nervous, absolutely terrified that someone knew, or heard something. But Draco said he uses silencing charms, I really hope he wasn't lying. It was obvious that Astoria would not hold back from raising hell if she caught Draco and I. It would end with horrible and terrifying consequences that neither Draco nor I wanted.

We exit the Potions classroom, and I seemed like I had jinxed myself. Astoria was storming towards us, the face of pure fury. I briefly glance at Draco, he returns the quick glimpse and he sighs sharply. 

"Draco!" Astoria seethes, her anger flowing out with her tone. She reaches us, that being Draco, myself and Ivy. 

I glance around, searching for someone I knew so I could escape— and my face lights up with the sight of Pansy wandering out of the potions room, I catch her gaze and nod her over. 

Pansy instantly walks over in a fast pace, standing beside me. "What's got you in a fuss, Greengrass?" Pansy smiles at the infuriated girl in front of us, only egging her on and heightening her brimming fury.

"Draco nor Winters were at breakfast today!" Astoria bellows, appearing like an angry bull having a red flag being waved in front of me, me being the red flag.

Draco snickers, "What are you implying?" 

She posh looking girls stomps her foot, throwing a tantrum like a toddler. "Look at her neck! You too have fucked!" 

My eyes widen, "No." I blurt out, seeing as everyone had gone absolutely silent. 

"Ohhh." Pansy giggles, I turn to her in confusion and she suddenly grabs the back of my neck, slamming her lips against mine.

This was a good fucking excuse.

Instantly comprehending Pansy's intentions, I ease into the kiss and coil my arms around the back of her head, pulling myself closer to body. With our breasts practically pressed into one another's, being around the same height, She deepens the kiss by slipping her tongue into my mouth. 

Right now, I don't care if people are looking or whispering, this would definitely get Astoria off Draco and I's back. Honestly, he might be a little mad about it all, since he said I was his. But, surely, he understands the purpose of this. 

Pansy's hands travel from the back of my neck, trailing down my body and stopping at my arse. I smile into the kiss, realising what she was doing. Everyone's completely quiet, not a single peep emitting from them. Pansy grabs my arse, barely lifting my skirt up but just enough for Astoria and everyone around to see my exposed skin. 

Usually, I'd hate it, but I didn't. 

Pansy had practically saved me. 

She pulls away, kissing my lips once more before turning to Astoria. "I did it, apologise for the confusion." Pansy smirks, grabbing my hand in hers. I glance at Ivy, who was smiling devilishly, Draco didn't seem mad at all— more relieved. He bites his bottom lip, examining his eyes over my figure and I smile. 

"Uh— what?" Astoria laughs awkwardly, trying to save herself from the rage she just displayed.

Pansy scoffs at Astoria, "Don't tell your homophobic too?"

The girl gulps, "N-No." Astoria conveys an irritated glare towards me and Pansy, then storms off the way she had came. 

When she was out of hearing distance, Ivy turns to me in shock. "Ray! You naughty girl!" Ivy nudges my arm with her elbow.

"You're welcome, Ray." Pansy smiles, "I have to get to Herbology, but if you need saving again, just come find me." She informs before repositioning her bag on her shoulder, then slowly strolls off.

Ivy gasps, "You and Draco!"

"Emerson, shut up." Draco rolls his eyes, I giggle from his aggression. "Tell anyone and I will hex you."

"Yeah— please be quiet about it Ivy." I plea, grasping her hand in mine in hope. 

"I don't want to be hexed," Ivy laughs, "But I wouldn't tell anyway, we have study now." 

Ivy pulls me away from Draco, leaving him in the middle of the hall. "Bye Draco!" Ivy's voice echoes through the corridor walls, I turn around momentarily to see him cockily smirk then start walking down the corridor that Pansy went down.


	36. Chapter 36

"What was that all about!" Ivy asks, we decided to sit in the grassy courtyard for our Wednesday study time. Honestly, I actually want to study and proceed working on the Transfigurations essay, which I had done around half.

If I was just doing O.W.Ls, I would have finished the essay by now, but alas, I'm not. My stupid self decided on N.E.W.Ts for all subjects, so I need to work extra hard. Alongside that, I'm also trying to prove to the Professors that I can bear two more elective subjects— especially Professor Snape. Having so many studies was extremely boring, if I wasn't good at time management and spacing my assignments or essays out, I probably would've finished them all by now. Around five studies a week seems insane, two would sit well with me.

Ivy wouldn't let it go, she had been nagging me the entire way. Through the halls, past students, across bustling classrooms and all the way until where we are now— sitting on the grass, beneath a large oak tree. I'm hesitant on telling her everything, seeing as I went to Angel, but Ivy deserves to know as well. 

I sigh, "Last night, Draco and I.. um— y' know." Awkwardly informing, I watch Ivy gasp as though it was the first time hearing it. Rolling my eyes, I take my transfigurations textbook from my bag. Flicking to the pages until I come across Non-Verbal spells, that's what the essay is about. 

"Ray— Merlin, I have so many questions!" Ivy blurts, the eagerness in knowing displaying through her chirpy tones.

I shush her, "If you keep your goddamn voice down, I'll tell you whatever you want to know."

Ivy quickly nods, seemingly very excited to know. "I'm so happy that you didn't let Argento ruin it, neither did I and it was the best decision I made."

"May I ask.. who you did it with?" I question her with inquisition, Ivy definitely didn't appear the type to be so libidinous— quite the opposite actually, like me I guess.

"Um... Ah— Adrian fucking Pucey." Ivy erupts into laughter, obviously reminiscing over the memory. Conveying a confused expression, utterly unaware of who Adrian Pucey was and why it was so funny. "Oh— of course, when I was in fifth, he was a seventh. It's funny because I was so young and desperate."

A giggle escapes me, but I quickly restrain it back. "No, you can laugh. It was funny, I wanted to forget so badly and Adrian always flirted with me, so I went to him."

"How long after the Argento thing?" I query, Ivy purses her lips in thought.

She hums lightly, "Two weeks? I think?" 

"Yeah— I was three week." I confess, scratching the back of my neck. "Are you comfortable talking about it?"

Ivy nods, a sweet smile on her face. "Yeah, of course, did you want to?"

"I think so.. I'll tell you about Draco tonight, when Angel's with us." I promise her with a kind smile, to which Ivy continues with her sweet grin. 

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Ivy poses, I sigh and slip my transfiguration book into my bag again— I'm clearly not getting any study done. 

Positioning my bag behind me, I lay down and rest my head upon my bag, keeping my hair from getting grassy and dirty. Ivy follows what I said, her bag must be much comfier from the jumper she had inside it. "How did it affect you? or whatever you'd call it." I advance, maintaining my eyes on the sun rays that peaked through the oak tree's green leaves.

"Well— I was kind of in shock at first, we never talked and one day I was really drunk, and it happened." Ivy unbosoms, her voice calm and devoid of shakes. "Unfortunately, I fucking remember everything."

I extend my arm over, clutching her hand in mine and intertwine our fingers, reassuring her. "First week I was a bitch, I though I did something wrong so I made sure no one thought I was— active and wanting sex," She halts for a second, "Does that make sense?"

Nodding, I squeeze her hand lightly. "Yeah."

"Second week, I was starting to come to terms with it. I wasn't a virgin when he did it." Ivy spills willingly, her freedom to easily talk about this baffles me, I wish I could. To be honest, I probably could but I would stutter the whole time— it's scary and nerve-racking. "It was a Saturday, Slytherin lost a game against Gryffindor. I got mad at myself, then went to find Adrian."

Ivy sighs, "It helped. He wasn't bad at it, made me realise again that sex was good." She finishes, I smile at the thought of her being free to Argento. "What about you? You don't have to though."

"No, I want to." I clear my throat, "You'd understand." Glancing at Ivy briefly, she nods and I look back up at the green, rustling leaves.

"Um.. the first week I felt like— disgusted in myself. I hated the thought that I must've looked so vulnerable under him, and that he saw so much of me." I start, Ivy's squeezing my hand this time; and it was helping so much. 

I needed to talk about this. 

Not just an 'I'm over it' or anything brief like that, an actual rant. It just felt so good to get it out instead of keeping it inside, my poor brain was soon to explode from the copious amount of thoughts that whizzed around. Obviously, Ivy is the best person to talk to about this. She's been through it, she can relate, she understands. Angel wouldn't, I don't really love sympathy as it makes me realise what I've went through isn't normal. But empathy, induces a feeling of worth inside me, helping me understand that I'm not alone and deserve kindness or compassion.

Seeing as I never got told nice things at home, I suppose I long for it.

"I concluded that I'd be reserved for the rest of my life," I laugh slightly, knowing that wasn't the case at all and last night proved that. "Second week, I completely drowned me. It pained me so much that I ended up at Draco's dorm, being held in his arms after having enough of it all." I gulp, typically I'd feel ashamed of talking about these things— but I didn't at all. 

Ivy brings my hand over to her, resting it on her stomach and she gently grazes the tips of her fingers along my knuckles with her other hand— still keeping a firm grip with the other, our fingers interlocked and sending adoration throughout me.

"Third, it was okay. I had you, Angel, Ves.. everyone. Then he left, and I felt so much better." I broadcast, my heart swarming with joy as I spoke their names. "I'd add Draco to that list, but he was worried about shit and I barely saw him." 

"Then— in class on Monday, Draco.. turned me on and after that I realised I wanted sex." I reveal, chuckling at myself. "I suppose it seems desperate, but I wanted to know what it's meant to feel like and be slightly in control."

Ivy takes a deep inhale and exhales heavily, "Thank you for telling me, Ray."

"That's okay, thank you as well." I give her hand a little squeeze.

"So, since we can't talk about Draco yet, what's with you and Pansy?" Ivy giggles, shaking my hand in hers with excitement.

I laugh quietly, "Well, we kissed on Monday after she was proving to me that it's like impossible to think when your kissing someone. I didn't believe her, so she kissed me and she was right."

Ivy scoffs, "Naughty, Naughty girl. How was it?" She asks inquisitively, letting go of my hand and playing with my fingers. 

"Good, I think I might be bi." I admit, Ivy gasps and rolls to her side. Peering to my left, viewing her mouth agape and her eyes wide. "I'm not sure though, I haven't thought on it much."

I sit up, my back growing sore from the hard ground. Ivy moves up as well, crossing her legs and continues to twiddle with my fingers. With my legs out in front of me, I ponder on if I was actually bisexual.

Pansy is the only girl I've kissed, but I don't feel weird about it at all. It feels nice, and not wrong to me. Her lips are smooth, like soft butter and taste like cherries. She moved her hands on my body in an mesmerising way, but Draco still did it better.. of course. Draco and I weren't dating, or a thing, I'm not entirely sure what we are. But, I should definitely ask him before I dive back to Pansy and truly see if I'm into girls.

"I'm sure you'll know soon." Ivy reassures, I smile kindly at her.

I hope so. 

⋆ ⋆

Study ended, even though it wasn't a study at all. Dinner soon passed as well, Ivy had briefly Angel about Draco and I at dinner. So, after it ended I was dragged up to our dorm and we all sat on my bed— we figured mine was comfiest, which I don't believe so. 

With my back against the headboard, Angel beside me and Ivy in front— I find it hard to compel my laughs back from how interested and eager they appeared, almost dying to know. 

"So.. Ray, having a little fun, are we?" Angel jokes, nudging me with her shoulder. 

I roll my eyes, "I am."

"We're waiting." She beams, clapping her hands excitedly. 

"Well.. I went to his dorm, and he said 'took you long enough', which had me taken aback since I thought he didn't want to do stuff with me." I begin, viewing their faces contort with surprise. "Then, he said all these 'rules' and made me promise that I wanted it."

Angel gasps, "I knew he had rules!! What are they?" 

I twist my lips to the side in thought, attempting to remember them but my mind was fogged from the way his lips felt against my neck. "Uh— the first one wasn't really a rule, but like a warning, which is funny. It was that he didn't know if he could go soft on me, but I said I didn't care."

Ivy smirks, "Oo, bit carnal, Miss Winters." Angel laughs at Ivy's remark, as do I. "Continue." Ivy ushers, her smirk forms back into an excited smile. 

"The first rule was that after tonight, I'm his and that he can take me whenever and wherever he wants." I reveal, both the girls in a state of shock. "Second was that I do whatever he says, no matter what." 

Angel slaps my thigh playfully, "I might have to steal him for a night." 

I giggle, "Maybe."

"Maybe?" Ivy furrows her brows in bewilderment, "You two aren't a thing or?"

Shaking my head side to side, "No, it's dangerous, Ivy. Our fathers and all, plus we're keeping it quiet." I shrug, Angel pouts in guilt.

"That's so shit," Angel lets out a long exhale, "So your friends with benefits?" 

"I guess so." I agree, pursing my lips, "But we can't even be publicly friends without Astoria snitching or something."

Ivy sighs, "I think you should go talk with Draco, like get things cleared up between you both."

"That's a good idea." I agree, "Now?"

Angel and Ivy both nod, "I hear Astoria got a detention today, so quickly head to Draco's." Says Angel, encouraging me.

I hop off my bed, "Okay, I'll come back tonight, I'm too sore." I giggle, Ivy's eyes widen and Angel claps in cheering manner. 

This will be easy.


	37. mature

Once again, I find myself outside of Draco's dorm— but this time, I had knocked instantly. I was truly terrified that Astoria would whip around the corner, then not even think twice before owling my father; because we all know she'd do it. Astoria doesn't seem to care, actually she definitely doesn't care. She's the reason everyone became suspicious of the bruises on my face, Astoria got my father to Hogwarts because I 'talked back' to her. 

Merlin knows the damage that would occur if father found out I had sex with Draco. Not only that, but my father and Draco's are business partners at the Ministry, it's unarguably unavoidable that Draco would get hurt because of my father telling Draco's. I didn't want that, it's the last thing I'd ever want to happen. As much as Draco reminds me that he can handle myself, which I understand he can, I want to avoid causing pain towards him. 

Firstly, this would mean that Draco and I have to a complete secret. If we decide to still fuck and all that, we'll have to be surreptitious and ensure no one finds out. The corollary being that Draco and I meet up at nights, where I go back to my dorm when I get used to the soreness and able to walk, or sneak out in the early morning. We can't hang out in public, only in one another's dorms or quieting talking in class, seeing as neither one of us can control where the Professor's seat us. 

Alongside being an absolute secret and refrain from talking in the halls or in the vicinity of students, We might have to play along with the little scenario that Pansy initiated. To be honest, it surprised me, practically catapulted me off my feet from how abrupt and unexpected it was, nonetheless, it worked. Astoria actually believed that the hickeys were from Pansy, she was gobsmacked and it was extremely entertaining seeing how bewildered she was. 

I wasn't sure if Draco would be mad about what Pansy did, he didn't seem too angry about it. Like I said, he smirked at me, not stormed off or argued with me. Typically, if someone calls you 'theirs' that means your theirs, but in Draco's view— that obviously didn't relate to girls. Besides, he can't be angry, can he? It wouldn't make sense, Pansy did us a favour and essentially saved us from the impending doom of our fathers. 

Waiting for barely ten seconds, the door opens without the sound of footsteps, nor the sight of someone behind it. I enter, seeing Draco sitting comfortably upon his bed with a book open on his lap and his wand in the other. He furrows his brows at me, probably not expecting me at all. "Did anyone see?" Draco asks with worry, I shake my head to indicate no. 

Closing the door behind me gently with my foot, I wander over to the side of his bed and stand there quietly. Draco smirks, then pats the space beside him, allowing me to sit there. Wearing only Vesper's fluffy black socks that she said I could keep, which shocked me but I accepted defeat before even trying to argue with her on that; a tight, white singlet that showed off my curves and baggy green sweatpants that rested on my hips loosely, showing off a little of my abdomen.

I crawl onto Draco's bed, his eyes watching me with pure amusement while I snuggle myself beside him. Draping my leg over his hips, he leans over and places his wand on the nightstand, then coils his arm under me and glides the tips of his fingers along my arm. He was wearing black sweatpants, with a grey fitted shirt that showed off his biceps— and it was impossible to not look at it. 

"I have inquires." I proclaim, Draco hums in response as he reads the novel that was in his hands intently. "What.. are we?"

Draco remains quiet for a second or two, "Friends."

I nod against his shoulder, "Thought so."

"What are your other inquiries?" He mocks my voice, I roll my eyes and ignore his ridicule.

"About everything, Draco." I huff, glancing up to see his eyes focused on the book— He's lucky I know he can multitask, otherwise I'd be removing that book from his hands. "Just.. everything."

His hands travels down to my waist, lazily resting there. "Ask away." Draco says bluntly, but no sign that I was irritating him.

"The whole 'i'm yours' thingo." I advance, still glancing at him and realise he wasn't entirely bothered by what I said. "Explain it, please."

I watch him smirk, eyes still on the novel. "Means you belong to me, princess." He clarifies summarily, the smirk fixed to his tempting lips— wait no, I can't. 

Furrowing my brows, I question him more on that. "What does that mean though?" I rest my head back on his shoulder, focusing my eyes on the book he was reading. "That I'm only yours, no one else's? Like we're dating but not?"

"I guess, but not really, you only belong to me so don't go around fucking any boys." His crude language caught me off caught, but I can't help but smile from his possessiveness. 

"What about girls...?" I wonder on, peering back up to see his reaction.

"You want to fuck Pansy?" Draco's captivating, argentine eyes finally meet mine and a glint of amusement is clearly visible.

Draco's POV

"You want to fuck Pansy?" I look at Raven, her face dropping with surprise. She hesitates before ripping her eyes off mine, laying her head back on my shoulder. 

When Pansy and I dated in third year, she had told me as soon as we started being together that she liked girls— which doesn't bother me at all. But it made me feel weird, because I not only had competition with boys but girls now too. I'd get jealous if I saw her talking with a girl, just like how she would when I'd talk to girls as well; our jealousy is probably what broke us up, honestly. 

I couldn't really deal with it, Pansy's got a flirty personality and she doesn't seem to understand when she's flirting. However, it bothered me way to much. Practically the whole of our year felt like competition to me, seeing as Pansy was open with being bisexual so girls would flirt with her and all that annoying shit. Even when we broke up and remained a thing, I hated her talking to girls— irrespective of us being broken up, it still annoyed me. 

But with Raven, she can go do whatever she wants and I don't mean that in a rude way. She's been reserved most of her life, been confined in her home and practically never having time to explore that side of her; sex and her sexuality. As well as that, what Pansy did today was fucking smart. Astoria was shaken, clearly believing it— I'd probably believe it as well if I wasn't known with the whole situation. Plus, it was fucking hot. 

Alongside that, Raven and I couldn't date ever. Well, at least while we're at school; maybe if we're still close by the end of seventh year, we can become more than friends— but we just have to see where it takes us. With our situation though, being secret and all, I suppose I can't get jealous for any reason. We aren't dating, we're friends.. who fucked, not boyfriend and girlfriend. As much as I'd want to be able to be public with her to keep the fucking leeches of boys from her, I can't. But she's wise, I know she'll turn me down.

Weirdly though, I didn't feel jealous that she kissed Pansy. When I dated Pansy, I essentially yelled at girls to fuck off, but with Raven; I'm glad Pansy did that. To be honest, and unlike me, I think I'd be okay with Raven getting with girls— it doesn't really seem like a problem to me. Her and I aren't dating, she deserves to have fun with other people as long as other people are girls. Maybe it would keep Astoria away if she realised Raven was having fun with girls, Astoria knows I'm one to want keep a girl to myself, so it hopefully convince her.

"No— I don't know, I just... I think I'm bi, but I don't know if I am." Raven blurts out, hesitation taking her over. "And Pansy kissed me, so I thought you'd be angry since I'm yours now— and I wasn't sure if your being like pretend nice to me—"

"Raven, be quiet." I hold back a laugh, her words being incredibly frantic and unthought of as she tries to justify herself, which she shouldn't need to do. "You can have sex with girls, I don't really mind."

"Really?" She queries with confusion. 

"Yes." I affirm, she sits up in shock and stares at me in bewilderment. "Why?"

I smirk, "Because you're clearly confused about it all, you deserve to figure all that shit out. I think I made Pansy like hate men."

Raven giggles, laying back down again and her fingers fiddle with the fabric of my shirt; pulling it back and letting it fall back into place. "So you wouldn't be mad?" She asks, pondering on what I said.

"No, you can do anything with girls— as long as you tell me." I feel Raven gulp against my shoulder, evidently effected by what I said.

"Okay," She agrees quickly, "So, we're just friends who fuck?"

I shrug, "If you want to call it that, then sure."

Raven goes quiet, then sighs. "You'll get with other girls then?"

"No? Why'd you think that." I furrow my brows in confusion, she shifts in the spot and rolls onto her back and stares at the ceiling.

"Because you're letting me get with others." Raven says quietly, I huff and shut the book, placing it on the nightstand. She turns to the left, facing me with guilt. "I feel bad, won't you want to get with someone too?"

I smirk at her, "You're too solicitous and heedful for your own good, Winters." 

Raven rolls her eyes, "I am not."

"Are too, but I don't want to fuck anyone else other than you." I admit, her pale cheeks flush a pink tinge. 

The sides of her lips perk up slightly, clearly holding her smile back. She glances back up, eyes fixated on the ceiling in an attempt to restrain her smile. "Am I that good?" Raven asks, her voice hesitant and tones of disbelief. 

"Yes, you have no fucking idea." I scoff, gently grabbing her by the waist and hoisting her to straddle me, perfectly placing her upon my hips. "Are you sore?"

Her eyes widen, realising what I was asking. "Not that much."

"Good." I situate my hand on the back of her neck, pulling her lips closer to mine. Feeling her warm, shallow breaths against my lips, I flicker my eyes from her pink lips to her eyes. "Do you want to?" I ask her, making sure she was fine with it. 

"Yes." Raven immediately affirms, I smash my lips against hers, hearing her moan softly from the contact that she so readily needed. 

Who would've thought that Raven Winters completely weakens under my touch?

I can not explain what she does to me, it's implausible to even try put into words. The feelings to new to me, I've never felt anything like it before. 

I crave her so much.

She feels amazing, the slight touch of her body on mine made it practically impossible to keep my hands to myself; I think she feels the same way. After last night, I couldn't stop thinking about her. All throughout today, I was hoping she wouldn't be sore anymore and thank the gods— she wasn't. I wanted to fuck her every second of today, just seeing her kiss Pansy sparked something inside of me and it's preposterous to understand. 

I want to hear her softly moan as I rub my thumb over her clit, I want to mark her skin with purple and red hues to prove to her that she's mind— I want to do everything to her and it's driving me insane. 

Raven places one hand on the side of my neck, the other on shoulder and she squeezes gently, compelling back her eagerness. Her warm hand against my skin felt dreamlike, the warmth clouding over my much cooler skin. Moving my hands to her waist, then her hips, I warily begin guiding her hips to glide against my hardening dick. 

Raven's POV

Draco positions his hands on my hips, steadily guiding them to move against him. His dick hardens under the movement, I squeeze his shoulder firmer in an attempt to forbear the brimming eager and lust within me, ensuring it doesn't take me over. With our lips roughly pressed upon one another's, moving at an aggressive rhythm, Draco realises I was comfortable with what he was doing and pins my clothed core lustier against his erect cock.

Unable to hold back, Draco takes a hand of my hip and grasps my hair into his clutch. Drawing our lips apart roughly by tugging my hair, he smirks when I gasp from the vigorous strength. He releases my hair from his grip, my body dropping in pleasure but rapidly heightens within me again as he plants a rough kiss upon my lips. "Take your clothes off, princess." Draco murmurs, his hot, minty breath sends shivers up my spine and his words completely take control of me.

Eager for this to continue, not wanting to wait any longer for the craved pleasure, I draw my bottom lip between my bottom teeth and immediately obey to him. Moving off of his lap, much to my dismay, I stand beside the bed while keeping eye contact with Draco. Hesitation doesn't fill me, nor does vulnerability, instead only confidence overpowers me, I hook my fingers around the waistband of my green sweatpants, not breaking eye contact for a mere moment as I haul them off my hips and allow them to drop to the floor.

Draco bites his lip roughly, his silver gaze wandering across my figure in awe. Latching my fingers under the hem of my singlet, I pull the fabric over my head and drop it to the floor careless of where it landed. Stepping out of my sweatpants, I crawl back onto Draco's lap and sit on his hips again. I gasp, realising how hard he was. "You— are you fucking pretty." Draco breathes, his hand contacts with my neck and pinches the sides firmly. With the unyielding grip, he drags my face closer to his and instantly collides his lips against mine.

He puts his other hand back on my hip, directing me to move across him. I moan into the kiss, feeling his dick rub against my clit in a firm pressure. Draco parts his hand from my neck, placing it on my hips and grinding me heartily against him. His strength soars, gripping my hips with more power, the cool rings no doubt nicking at my skin from the sturdy pressure. Shifting my hands down from his shoulders, slowly gliding over his clothed chest before tugging at the hem of his shirt. His hands release from the grip on hips and our lips part, he leans his back off the headboard; allowing me to haul his shirt off.

I bite my lip with the heightening anticipation building rapidly within me, my eyes flicker down and I take in his toned chest. Smiling in glee that I was soon to feel the amazing pleasure, I crash my lips onto his and feel him smirk into the kiss. Eagerness becomes utterly inconceivable to hold back, and I daringly trail my hand down to my pussy, but Draco's hand grips my wrist and stops me. I draw back from his lips, conveying an expression of plea.

"Is someone getting horny?" He smirks, placing my hand to my side and releasing his grip from my wrist. I nod in response, begging for him to touch me. Draco bites his bottom lip, I moan from the eventual contact of his middle finger rubbing across my clit through my panties. With our eyes locked on each other's, Draco hooks his fingers under the fabric and I feel his cool touch against my tender skin. In an excruciatingly slow pace, I feel the air hit my pussy as he hauls the fabric over. "Is this what you want?" Draco purrs, I feel myself completely melt from his words.

I nod, "Yes."

He raises his eyebrows, "Yes what?"

"Yes, Draco." I buck my hips with impatience, Draco slides his finger along my folds and mutters curses under his breath. 

Draco's eyes leave mine, shifting down watch his finger move against my pussy. "You're so wet." He murmurs, bringing his bottom lip between his teeth again. Viewing Draco completely divulge his attention to my dripping core, two fingers plunge into me at the same time. Arching my back from the suddenness and the sweet agony shooting through me, I grip his shoulders firmly. Draco glances up, our eyes meeting and the sight of amusement and pride clouds his eyes, seemingly loving my reaction.

His fingers slowly plunge into me, but soon grow to a steady pace and his thumb runs circles over my clit. The sensation induces chills to shoot up my spine, delirious moans escaping my lips as his fingers begin to curl inside me. Draco grabs my chin with his free hand, springing his lustful gaze between my eyes and lips. With his rough grip on my face, he hauls our lips to collide once more, our hunger and longing for one another noticeable through the aggression rhythm of our lips.

The pace of his fingers thrusting inside me heightens, as does the vigorous rubbing on my clit. Moaning against his lips, Draco suddenly bites down on my bottom lip with pure desirous pressure. I expected to hate the feeling, but it felt like something out of this world; I'd never comprehended that pain during sex would interest me, but here we are— and I'm absolutely drowning in the sensation of him biting down on my lip.

I can feel my nearing climax, my walls steadily tightening around his fingers. His hand that was holding my chin travels to my neck, squeezing firmly, enough pressure to allow me to breathe but induce sheer pleasure to rush through me. 

Enthralling my focus on the sensational contact of his fingers curling within me, my climax grows quicker and more intense. Gripping his shoulders rougher than ever, I whimper to inform Draco that I was about to let go. Unexpectedly, I feel him puncture my bottom lip from his surging hold on, causing me to gasp. His fingers slow down however my climax remains nearing, he draws my face back and fixates his eyes upon the puncture. "Fuck." Draco mutters, leaning forward and licking the blood off my lip. Blinking at him in shock, I feel my core throb from his impassioned action.

My orgasm's closer than ever, focusing on Draco licking my blood had been swept to back of my mind— now attentive on the climax soon to take over. "Draco— I'm gonna—" I'm unable to get the words out as Draco's fingers move quicker than ever, causing me to gasp. The grip on my neck tightens, the pressure on my clit deepens.

"Cum for me." Draco whispers against my lips, his breath rushes over the little cut on my lip. Almost immediately after I heard those words leave his mouth, I feel myself topple over the edge. Arching my back, my breasts pressing up against his chest, my body convulses as he rides me through my climax. "Such a good girl." His lips meet mine, kissing ever so lightly, the feeling much different to the past force in my core. 

He draws my face back again, this time releasing his hand from my neck. Draco takes in my weakened figure; swallow breaths, lips parted, my body slightly twitching while his fingers move slowing in me. I sigh as he pulls them out, holding them in front of his lips. Watching intently, Draco slides his fingers into his mouth and sucks my juices off. Biting my lip with lust, his eyes remain on mine as he smirks, pulling them out of his mouth. 

"Ride me." Draco orders, his voice less calm than before. 

It was baffling me how he stayed so composed and resisted himself from slamming his dick into me, if I was in his position— I would immediately break and the wall of restrain would crumble rapidly. I suck on my bottom lip, tasting the mere trace of my blood on my bottom lip; the taste tangy and metallic, but I weirdly liked it. Moving my hand down to the waistband of his sweatpants, I haul it back and large cock springs out against his stomach. I'm not sure why, but it seemed a lot bigger. Maybe it was the confidence I felt yesterday night, because I feel less bold right now.

Gulping, Draco rubs his tip against my soaking folds and I bring my hand back up to his shoulder, squeezing tightly as I prepare for the pleasureful pain to erupt in my core. Draco's breathes shake while he positions his hand on my hip, gently situating his tip against my pussy and pushing it inside me. His firm hold on my hips, he moves me down into him steadily and allowing me to adjust to his size. 

"Fuck—" I whimper, gripping his shoulders tightly. My sound seemed to push a button within him as he shoves me down onto him, forcing me to take the entirely of his dick in a rough push. Wincing quietly, now with both of Draco's hands on my hips, he moving me up and down onto him. Sitting back, confidence finally taking me over, I situate my hand behind me and atop of his thigh, thrusting myself onto him.

"Holy shit, Ray." Draco purrs, his eyes enthralling on the sight of me riding him. Honestly, I was not sure if I was doing it correctly, but I suppose I was considering his pleasured expression. Draco was biting down on his bottom lip, darting his eyes from my own and to where his dick was deep inside me. Moving my hips faster, unexpectedly hitting my g-spot and I moan louder. Draco closes his eyes, completely divulging into the sensational feelings.

I throw my head back, bucking my hips faster and his large dick thoroughly filling my tight pussy. "Fuck— Draco." I whimper, tears already prickling the corner of my eyes.

Suddenly, in a swift movement, Draco grabs me by the waist and flips us over. Being positioned on my stomach now, Draco grips my hips and hauls my arse into the air. He thrusts his whole length into me in one motion, moving easily into my slick walls. The new position makes me feel absolutely everything, his dick stretching my tight pussy out as he shoves roughly into me. 

His hand clasps my arse, gripping roughly and the other contacts with my upper back, pinning me down onto the bed and ensuring my back stays arched. My moans were muffled from my face against the pillow, the tears escaping my eyes but pooling his pillows instead of trailing down my cheeks. The mascara that I had been wearing irritates my eyes, I shut them firmly to get rid of the aggravation caused by the makeup.

Out of no where, Draco gathers my brown, tousled locks into a makeshift ponytail and he hauls me up aggressively. His hand moves to my neck, choking me undoubtedly firmer than the other times. My moans and whimpers were reduced to mere sounds from the rough hold, completely muffling my vocal chords. There was unarguably going to be bruises forming, but I liked the idea of that way too much.

"Cho—Choke me harder." I manage to enunciate, my voice soft and quiet from the pressure. "Plea—Please."

"You like being choked?" Draco says, I could tell he was smirking even if I couldn't see it. 

"Yes, Draco, I do." I whimper, his hold immediately tightening and I feel my breaths weaken. 

This is sadistic, but I love it. 

His motion becomes powerful, thrusting into me stronger than ever before. The hold on my neck doesn't increase or weaken, remaining a steady grip thats just enough so I barely breathe. "Fuck— you drive me insane, princess." Draco plunges himself deeper inside, I scream as I feel his slam against my cervix. 

"You do to." I breathe, wincing from the surging sweet agony bursting into my core. 

I didn't want this to end, it feels so fucking amazing. Never did I see myself getting absolutely choked out by Draco as he fucked me ruthlessly, it completely weakened me. Just from his stare I felt myself unravel beneath him, this was doing extreme wonders to me.

His other hand reaches around, rubbing his index finger in circles over my sensitive clit. I shake in reaction to my tender clit being toyed with again, the sensation quadrupling from my past climax and the new one that was brimming, very close to consuming me. "You feel so fucking good." He slams harder and faster into me, causing me to scream in pleasure. 

My eyes were still prickling with copious amounts of tears, unable to hold them back as they trail down my cheeks the moment they form. The hot tears tingle my sensitive eyes, dragging the smeared mascara along my flustered cheeks with them. I feel the cool air dry my warm tears, reminding me on how much of a mess I looked like— but the good kind of mess.

Draco's finger on my clit doubles in pressure, along with his merciless pace. From his large size, I swear he'd be poking my organs and rearranging them from the ruthless movement. I move my one hand in front of me, grasping the headboard with all my strength and the other darts to Draco's wrist, my fingernails digging into his skin to all attempts to hold back my loud screams. Nonetheless, the soaring mixed sensations of sweet infliction and titillation causes my screams to escape.

"Fuck— I'm gonna cum." Draco spits out through his shallow breaths and low moans, his finger rubbing domineeringly and the hold on my neck is utterly crushing my moans to mere whimpers. 

"Me— to-too." I manage to reply, my walls tightening around his dick and causing the pleasureful pain to surge to a merciless level. His thrusts were overpowering my senses, making me completely lose all thoughts and only able to focus on my towering climax.

Draco draws me closer to him, my back now against his chest as his aggression shoves remain the same ruthless motion. "Shit— scream my fucking name, now." Draco whimpers roughly beside my ear. Screaming his name loudly, I feel myself completely topple over the cliffs edge as I reach my powerful climax. My body convulses against him, his hand still gripping my neck firmly and his plunges into me grow sloppier as I feel his warm orgasm hit the walls of my pussy. With his shoves slower, he rides himself and I through our climaxes. 

Breathing heavily, I release my grip from his wrist and situate it on the headboard, composing myself. I twitch slightly as Draco pulls himself out of his, his breathes deep and heavily while he collects himself as well. His hand lets go of my neck, he flops onto his back and the mattresses bounces. I feel my knees give way, sliding onto my stomach against my will. 

I hear Draco chuckle from beside me, then the mattress raises again as he gets off. With my face in my pillow, attempting to control my legs that were shaking, the mattress dips again. I feel my underwear get slid onto me, Draco positions it comfortably on my hips. Moving my head to the left, observing Draco literally dress me. 

"What a sight." I giggle, bringing my arms under the pillow and sighing.

His eyes meet him, and his quickly widen. "You're a sight, Winters. Did I fuck you that hard?" Draco smirks, probably implying the trails of mascara tears running down my cheeks.

"Yes." I reply, he snickers before tugging my sweatpants on. "Can I stay here?" I ask with hesitation.

Draco smiles, "Of course." 

I manage to sit up, kneeling on the bed and facing Draco. He passes me my shirt, which I take off of him and slip on. Adjusting it to sit where I wanted it to; slightly ruffled at the bottom to show more of my stomach. Suddenly, I remember something— something important. 

"Oh fuck." I say, frantically shuffling to the edge of the bed.

"I wouldn't do that if I were— yeah." Draco laughs as I stand up from the bed, immediately falling to the ground from the soreness in my core and thighs, as well as my shaking legs. My body had completely gave up on me. 

"Help me." I demand, holding my hand out for him to assist me to my feet.

Draco smirks at my weakened self on the cold floor, "Magic word?" 

"Please." I pout childishly, he rolls his eyes before taking my hand and dragging me off the floor. Sighing, releasing I wasn't going to be able to get what I needed, I crawl onto his bed and tuck myself under the covers. 

"What were you rushing to get?" He asks, getting in beside me and instantly hauls my body against him.

"I haven't taken my birth control," I confess, causing his breath to hitch. "It's okay though, I'll just have it tomorrow morning."

"You won't get pregnant?" He queries with noticeable worry, I giggle and nudge my chin up to meet his eyes, the dim light in his room making it so I can just see his face. 

I plant a soft kiss on his lips, utterly drowning in the entirely different sensation. "No, I won't."

"Good." Draco sighs in relief, I giggle some more from his concern. "What?" He questions me, I exhale as I conceal my laughs. 

"Nothing." I nuzzle my face into the nook of his neck, smiling in adoration from the gentle close contact.

Draco hums lightly, "So, choking huh?" He says teasingly, the tips of his fingers grazing along my shoulder in a soothing manner. 

"Shush." I feel my face glow a bright rosey shade, thank god it was dark.

He chuckles lightly at my shyness, "Goodnight, Winters."

"Night night." I reply quietly, my exhaustion taking me over.

⋆   
⋆


	38. Chapter 38

It was a Thursday, I had woken up in Draco's bed at the perfect sneaking out time of six o'clock. Breakfast starts at eight, and Slytherins tend to sleep in until breakfast time anyway, so I knew I'd be safe. Draco was sleeping peacefully and I didn't want to awaken him, he looked way to comfortable for me to do such a thing. So, I stumbled to my common room with the worst soreness in my core.

Maybe lying to Draco that I wasn't sore anymore was a silly idea, seeing as I got completely and utterly destroyed last night. Everything I moved, I winced and people would start to ask questions; especially that it's know throughout the entire school that Draco's usually the one behind limping girls. But, hopefully students keep their eyes and nosiness to themselves. 

Currently, I had just entered the Great Hall for dinner. I decided to leave study earlier, seeing as I wanted to stray from students in the corridors to stare at me while I limped. The soreness was practically tripled, every movement caused a tingling sensation to shoot through me. Even with a slight glimpse at me you'd noticed that I had an eventful night, it was essentially written all over my face. So, for a day or two I need to heal, which is much to my dismay honestly. 

Draco made me feel things, things I never thought I would feel in my entire life. How his lips would kiss my tender, ivory skin in such a soft technique that resembled gentle little fairies dancing along my skin, and how the pressure could quadruple in a mere second and create deep purple bruises on my neck; I loved both of them, the rough and the soft, and he knew when the right time was to use which one. It all felt so amazing, I can't get over it. He feels so amazing. Despite the fact that it's rather a tingling pain in the beginning, the sensation of his dick so deep in my core sent butterflies to fly around in my stomach and a powerful pulse to my core, which caused it to be so difficult to keep my legs from clenching together.

I love every second of it, it's just so out of this world— heavenly.

Abruptly, Angel slides on the bench and crashes into my side. Her arm wraps around my waist, squeezing me closer to her. "You didn't come back until six in the morning, Missy Moo." Angel jokes, Ivy takes a seat beside Angel and grins at me. 

They both definitely know. 

"Oops." I contain my smile, eating the blueberry muffin as I finally feel myself collect an appetite. "It's the end of the day, why are you bringing this up now?"

Angel laughs, "Wanted to let you heal.." I scoff at her. 

Ivy leans over so she's able to see me past Angel, "You're telling us later." I roll my eyes nodding. 

Chewing on the muffin, chatting with Angel about how Professor Snape always seems to rip our spirit out, I notice Draco walking into the Great Hall with a book in his hands. "It's your lover." Angel tilts closer to my ear, ensuring no one would hear.

"Shut up." I nudge her with my elbow, giggling at her childishly. Suddenly, I feel someone come up behind me and a book is placed on the seat area beside me. Furrowing my eyebrows, I glance up to see Draco with his back turned and making his way around to the other side of the table, his hands lazily in his pockets.

Damn, why is his walk hot too?

Shifting my eyes to the book he discreetly deposited to my side, I hold back a gasp and instantly pick it up. It was the rewritten Outlander book, however the cover seemed to be its real front and back; not concealed to appear like a Potions textbook. Briefly glancing up, I meet eyes with Draco and I smile, to which he smiles back for a mere second before continuing joking with Blaise and Theo.

"What is it?" Angel asks, peering over to see it. "Ew, books."

I roll my eyes, "Books are good, Angel."

Angel snickers playfully, "If you say so." 

Thirty minutes pass, Vesper had entered the Hall and decided to sit beside me for a change. Which, thankfully, she asked and the apologised to Theo beforehand, that seems funny really; why would she need to ask for permission to sit beside me? Most of the Professors had left to begin setting up their classes, leaving there to be just students in the Great Hall. 

I hadn't seen her in a while, well I do see her around the common room, or the corridors, Great Hall, but we didn't really talk a lot recently. I'm not sure why, I highly doubt it's anything serious. Vesper needs to focus on her study, our parents are expecting good grades from her this year and Vesper must have a decrease of detentions to clear her report card; But our parents are unarguably going to pay the school to remove her troubles, so Vesper has it pretty easy.

Supposedly, I'm glad she holds our parents respect. Vesper's more of a troublemaker, clearly, and has problems with school; so I guess she needs our parents to send money to the school in a bribe to remove her wrongs. Me on the other hand, I believe I can cope without fathers money. I don't necessarily get into much trouble, heck I haven't even been blessed with a detention yet, and I hope not to be. 

We were talking about typical things; our classes, Vesper's hatred for Professor McGonagall because she always announces the essay due date while staring at her, which made Angel crackle into laughter and told Vesper she does the exact same to her.

"It's so fucking irritating," Angel scoffs, leaning over me to talk to Vesper, "Why can't she look at someone else? I'm sure there's other people who've missed essays before."

Vesper nods in agreement, "Exactly— I hate her." I watch Vesper's eyes trail off to behind Angel, scanning slowly as though she was viewing something moving. Angel and I notice, both of us glancing to the left and my eyes widen at the sight of a fuming Astoria Greengrass; again. I stand up immediately when she reaches us, she clearly wasn't going to be friendly.

"Astoria." I say bluntly, awaiting for her heartwarming compliments.

"Raven." Astoria replies back, glaring with sheer infuriation. "Care to explain where you were last night?" She tilts her head evilly, a vile smirk on her perfect lips.

I furrow my brows at her, composing myself to remain calm and not break all hell on this girl, "Is that any of your business?"

Her hazel eyes pierced into mine, "Yes, it is my business." Astoria snarls, her teeth gritting firmly. 

Momentarily, I peer down to Angel and Ivy, seeing in my peripheral that we had caught quite a few eyes of nosey students. "Leave me alone, you bother me." I smile kindly, the pure evil in her flaming eyes heightens.

"I saw you go into your dorm this morning, around six?" She informs, I blankly stare at her.

This girls reaches for reasons. 

"Why aren't you fucking saying anything?!" Astoria's voice yells, gathering the attention of students from other houses.

"Can you not? Are you that much of an attention seeker that you need to make up lies?" I scoff, returning her glare with a repulsed one. Her face contorts from the sight of my changed facial expression, the anger within is evidently drowning her as I watch her fist clench. "You going to hit me, Astoria?" I pout, deciding to play around with her rage.

Astoria stomps the floor, "Why are you so obsessed with Draco!?" 

I feel the side of my lips perk up, my smile growing unreasonable to hide away. Losing hope on tucking away my laugh, I chuckle at her. "Funny joke." I grin, shifting my eyes to her fists once more, viewing the whites of her knuckles. "Hit me, that'll be even funnier." I egg her on, suddenly Vesper grabs my hand and tugs slightly to attain my attention. 

Glancing down, Vesper mouths the words stop, but I roll my eyes and dart my focus back to Astoria. "Why do you think I'm obsessed with Draco?" I ask her, furrowing my brows in confusion. 

I find it funny how no ones really stopping this argument. 

"Firstly, you even admitted he was attractive!" Astoria bellows, I bite my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing again. "Secondly, I think you fucked him! Your limping! Girls can't do that!" 

Okay, now she's just oversharing.

"Thirdly, you need a male figure because of your dad beating you all the time!" The steams shooting out of her ears, she looks like a raging bull.

I gulp, "Excuse me?" 

Astoria hesitates, however realised that she had found a weakness. "You heard me, should I owl him and tell him all the horrible things you've done?"

I blink at her blankly, she stupidly continues. "Oh yes, dear Mr Winters, so sad to inform you that your inbreed daughter is a slut, she slept with Draco and Pansy, probably more. She bullies me all the time, from Astoria." Astoria grins after reading out what she'd say on the letter. 

Then, I punch her. Straight in the jaw. Astoria squeals, toppling over her feet and falling to the floor. Crouching down beside her, she holds her jaw in pain. "Don't you ever fucking speak about shit that isn't your business, Astoria." I seethe, her eyes filled with pure malevolence. "I could care less about the consequences, I will fucking punch you again."

Astoria smirks, "Do it. I dare you."

I stare at her emotionlessly, "If you fucking say so." My fist collides with her nose, I hear a crack and the feel the bone break upon my forceful hit. Shaking my hand, Astoria starts crying uncontrollably. "You fucking asked for it." 

"I'll get you kicked out of this school." Astoria grasps her nose, blood gushing profusely from both her nostrils.

"Whatever. Thanks for telling the entire school about my father, means a lot." I smile, then I stand up and walk out of the Hall like nothing had happened. 

I feel so vulnerable, I hate it. This is the feeling I've never wanted to come across again, especially after Argento. I can't believe it. She's a low person, however I never thought she'd do that. The last thing I want is for people to be gossiping or whispering about me as I walk past them on the halls, or in class, or anywhere for that matter. 

Astoria had gotten to me. Truly. No one ever gets to me like that, Draco had in the beginning of the year when he mentioned my father; but he didn't talk about it again after that day. He probably saw how it affected me, seeing as I just stared emotionlessly at him. Which, I suppose, probably frightened him to a point that he decided to never mention it again. Astoria doesn't seem to have a limit, I saw the look in her face when she said it; she did not care at all. She looked proud, pleased with herself for sharing such personal information about me to the entirety of the school. 

Now, everyone knows about my father.

I hear footsteps from behind me, I turn around to see Angel and Ivy. "Go away, please." My bottom lip quivers, I watch as Vesper clasps their hands in hers to keep them from running to me.

Rushing to the astronomy tower, thankful for the three smokes that Angel had gave me when she bought a fresh deck of cigarettes of a seventh year. 

I feel tears trail down my ivory cheeks, my mascara running along with them. Sitting cross-legged on the edge, a foot away from the metal pole railing, I stare up at the twinkling stars. The crisp, autumnal breeze flushes against my cheeks, drying my mascara smeared tears. 

Why did she have to say that? 

Astoria's soon to incontrovertibly owl my father, or her own, and inform them on everything; she evidently won't leave out any details, Astoria loathed me because of suspicions that I'm sleeping with Draco— which I am, but she has no way to prove that. The words escaped her mouth in a way that they meant nothing, as though your father abusing you is funny or meaningless. 

It's not funny nor meaningless.

Very soon, my father is bound to visit me with the inevitable decision of yanking my hand and dragging me home; only to be used as something so worthless, I'm treated like a slave at home.

Winter's Residence, April, 1989  
—Raven age ten

narrator POV

Raven opened the door to the Winters mansion, allowing her parents. Her parents shoot the poor, confused girl a repulsed scowl, not even thanking her nor smiling in appreciation.

Why did they make her do this if they'd never thank her for it?

They thank the maids and house elves, why not her? 

She doesn't understand what she ever did to deserve it, Vesper gets treated like royalty; 

earns money, 

gifts on her birthday/christmas, 

smiles, 

praises,

Vesper gets talked to like she's a normal girl, but Raven does not. She doesn't receive presents, only from Vesper. No money, smiles, praises...

and because she's a halfblood?

Raven doesn't understand, it's not her fault. 

*

1990,  
Raven age eleven 

"Raven, get me more wine." Mother asked Raven, her glass of wine had been emptied in under ten minutes. 

Raven typically stayed on the sofa with her mother, grabbing her glass after glass until she'd fall asleep— then Raven would know her help is not needed for the rest of the night. 

The eleven year old girl skipped over to the kitchen with her mother's wine glass in hand, her beady, pretty sapphire eyes land on the the half empty bottle on the counter. She places the glass beside it, then steadily pours to yellowish liquid into the glass, almost to the brim. 

She carefully wanders back to her mother, placing it in her hand that was waiting. 

Raven continued this routine for another five times, then the mother fell asleep. The girl closed her book, quietly moved the glass from her mother's hand and situates it on the coffee table. 

The only words her mother spoke to her that night were, 'Raven, get me more wine.'

*

1991,  
Raven age twelve

"Open the door for the guests." Father ordered the girl, a prominent bruise surrounded her eye, but she didn't seem to be that bothered by it. 

Willingly, she opens to the door and watches her father put on a facade. He smiled at them, shaking their hands. It was a man and a woman, the man had long platinum hair and the woman had brown with white under hair dyed.

Raven concealed a smile when she saw he friend, Draco, walk in. He glanced at her, then followed his parents into the gathering in the dining hall. 

Father didn't thank her for opening the door. 

She watched the elves get better treatment than her.

If they are slaves, then what is she?

*

1993  
Raven age thirteen

"Sickening girl!" Her father bellowed at her, "How dare you embarrass me!" 

Raven's bottom lip quivered, "Wha— what did I do?" She asked nervously, dreading his answer or action.

Her father scoffed, "Hanging out with Lucius Malfoy's son!"

She froze, staring at her father.

Draco's father had caught them together, undoubtedly made her own father aware of the situation.

"You, you are an inbreed!" He yelled, his brown eyes displayed obvious anger. "He is a pureblood, you are not allowed to associate with them!" 

"Wh—why?" She questioned

"Because it's humiliating! How dare you do such a thing! I should send you away to an orphanage, obliviate you as well." He threatened, filling the girl with utter fear. 

She shook her head, "Please don't."

He laughed at her, evilly. "Maid, bring the tea." Her father ordered a maid who was standing in the corner of the room, a cup and saucer in her hands. 

She walked over, placing the tea on fathers desk and left. 

'Why am I having tea?' Raven thought

⋆   
⋆


	39. Chapter 39

(still flashback,   
narrator POV)

"Tea?" Raven questioned, sitting on a wooden chair and the cup of green tea in her hand.

"Yes." Her father affirmed, nodding at her to drink it. 

Reluctantly, the brought the edge of the white china cup to her lips and took a sip. It tasted rather good, the green tea flavour was slightly sweet; just how she made it herself.

The tea was a perfect temperature, so the girl finishes the cup quite quickly then places it on her fathers study desk.

"Good?" He asked her, confusing Raven even more as he was being mediocre to her. 

Raven nodded, "Yes."

"I have questions and you'll answer them truthfully." Her father informed, Raven hesitantly nods again. "Who is Draco Malfoy to you?"

"My friend." Raven replied

His face contorted with fury, "How do you know him? What do you do together?"

"We hang out at family events, like christmas. He's the only person who gives me company at the events." Raven revealed, "We talk about anything, he usually just sits with me in silence. I read, look at stars."

"Pathetic." Her father seethed, his teeth audibly gritting. "Do you like Draco?"

Raven nodded, "Yes, I like him."

He nostrils flared, anger taking him over. Unexpectedly, he held his wand to her temple and said the words 'obliviate' without hesitation. 

Raven's POV

The tears kept streaming down my cheeks, and the icy air would instantly beginning drying them. 

I felt so horrible.

Everyone knows.

They know about my father. 

I hear faint footsteps ascending up the astronomy tower stairs, the pace steady and hushed. The steps grow slightly louder, but I remain ignoring whoever was coming up the stairs. Focusing my mind on the feeling that the nicotine does to my system with each inhale, my body relaxes and loses the tension, the buzzing thoughts decline to a steady pace and I find myself unable to ponder on them intently; it's all rather amazing. Amongst the three cigarettes I was given by Angel, one was actually a joint and it was incredibly tempting to just light it up and allow my body to be consumed with happiness.

I just want to feel okay.

Louder and louder the steps grew, then I felt the vibration through the cool stone floor. Inhaling the calming substance from the cigarette, holding it in my lungs for a few seconds before slowly exhaling, the person sits beside me in silence. 

Just from the quietness, the aura I felt from the person next to me; I comprehended it was Draco.

If it was Angel, she wouldn't immediately asked if I was okay and if I needed anything. She'd give me a hug, then try crack a silly joke that usually invoked me to laugh and it'd cheer me up. 

Ivy, she'd grab my hand in reassurance and squeeze it gently, or rub my back soothingly. She would ask if I wanted to talk about it or if I was comfortable too. Vesper was the same, accept she'd expect a nod or shake my head to answer her questions, it would solace her. 

But Draco, he stays quiet. He always did. His mouth wouldn't utter a joke, a question if I was feeling ok or needed someone to talk too. He didn't expect me to shake my head or nod to questions, nor did he hold my hand or pull me into a tight hug. His lips would remain shut, the only sound escaping him would be his soft breathes. He'd glance at me occasionally, I saw in the corner of my eye, but he would look away after a brief second.

Draco didn't talk until I did. He never forced me to tell him my feelings, or what was wrong. He'd let me do it in my own time, which is why I preferred Draco to console him. 

I suppose, he's not quite good at it; but that's not a bad thing. I'm not, at all. We both sort of relate in that aspect, being shitty at consoling people— but that's why I liked his presence instead of others. We were so similar, as much as he'd deny it. 

Taking a long drag from the cigarette, I close my mind and feel the chemical rush into my bloodstream. The longer inhale induces a stronger sensation through me, my body relaxing completely and not a single worry on my mind. 

Peace.

Narrators POV

"That was fucked up." Raven laugh, the smoke escaping her mouth as she spoke. 

"Yes it was." Draco agrees, She glances to her right and faces him. The full moons glow illuminates his pale skin, 

'why was he so beautiful.' Raven ponders, enthralling her eyes over his features.

His nose was so perfect, the bridge of his nose small and curving faultlessly; his nose was honestly making Raven jealous, why couldn't hers look like that? The silver iris's of specks of icy blue topaz and gems was glinting in the magical light of the moon, inducing his eyes to appear much pretty than usual. Raven examines his lips as they slightly part, he sighs quietly. 

Raven clears her throat softly, looking away from the boy and to the night sky again. "Was anyone talking about it?" Raven asks, already knowing the answer but needed him to vocalise it.

"Yes." Draco confesses quickly, not a sign of hesitation.

The warm tears flow across her mascara stained cheeks again, the breeze had dwindled to a mere nothing and the air was still. Her tears now streaming without being dried by the wind, freely sliding to her chin and down her neck from her head being tilted. Realisation hits Raven from Draco's admitting her ruminating thought, a feeling of being winded hits her chest and she takes a long inhale from the cigarette to be sparse of the painful feeling.

"Astoria's going to owl my father," Raven says quietly, flicking the cigarette in her middle and index finger and watches the ash fall to the ground, joining the other flicks of ash that were there. "And I'm going to be dragged home, beaten and never see anyone in my life again." Raven laughs, she couldn't help it. She's overwhelmed by the actuality of it all, the realisation that it was bound to happen soon feels comical to her. She had always thought she'd get through two years of Hogwarts without trouble, it's not even second term yet and this has happened.

"Don't say that." Draco scoffs, disappointed by her negativity. "Vesper isn't allowing it, she went off on Astoria and made her cry.. more." 

Raven chuckles again, the thought of Vesper yelling at Astoria felt nice, she got what she deserved. She knew there was other ways to go around it, but Astoria had stepped over the line.

"How does Astoria know about my father, Draco?" She wonders, turning to face Draco and he sighs deeply. "Did you tell her?"

Draco shakes his head, "Of course not." 

She gulps, "Then who did?"

"My father." Draco informs, she shouldn't known that.

"Oh." Is all Raven manages to vocalise, she finishes her cigarette with one last inhale and extinguishes on the stone floor. She slips the joint from her blouse pocket, popping the filter side amidst her lips and instantly lighting the end with a spare lighter that Angel had given her. 

As the first hit enters her bloodstream, Raven feels the subtle effects already transpiring. Raven peers at his, the silver eyes of his watching her intently while she takes her second drag from the joint. Inhaling for a few seconds, Raven double inhales ensuring she felt the full effect of the muggle herb. 

Draco wanted to take the joint off her, she shouldn't use drugs to deal with her problems. If we placed in Ravenclaw or the other two houses, then she probably never would've become known with drugs— and it somewhat annoyed him. He did drugs, occasionally, but never to deal with problems; mostly for fun. However Draco noticed that when things got tough for Raven, she'd either be high, smoking cigarettes, or drinking and completely regretting it. It wasn't healthy, but he isn't her dad.

Raven lays down, her eyes watching the stars closely. "Lay down." She pats the cold stone beside her, Draco sighs and willingly reclines to rest on his back. "Look at them." 

"The stars?" Draco questions, she nod excitedly. Instead of peering up at the glinting stars, he takes note on Raven's appearance. She looks distraught. Her cheeks are stained with mascara tears, fresh warm tears still flowing from the corners of her eyes. Eyes red, both from crying and the weed. He wanted to tell her it was okay, but that's a lie— it wasn't.

Raven inhales deeply, she had been smoking so deeply that half the joint was gone from her long inhales. But, she didn't care. The effects were hitting her just what she wanted them to do; 

—making her feel happy. 

Only soothing numbness and thoughts of stars fill Raven. The marijuana taking over her system beautifully, rushing through her bloodstream and causing her limbs to feel like they were melting. 

She feel so happy.

Stars were so beautiful to Raven, she loves them. You could create your own shapes with them, or become familiar with a particular star and name it whatever you want. It fascinated her that they were light years away, and that most of them were currently exploding— but you can't tell from the crazy amount of space between Earth and the star. She liked how people's personalities derived from stars, how the different placements of Planets affected each individual differently. 

"Look at the stars, Draco." She sighs, focusing her eyes on one sole star and reviewing it, then shifting to a different one. 

Draco softly chuckles, "Why do you like stars, Raven?" He knew the answer, but getting her to talk about her likes made her feel happy and Draco knows that. 

"All stars have a reason." She smiles, discussing her likes always interested Raven, she never found anyone fond of stars; except Draco. "A unique reason to everyone, whether someone correlates it to a loved one... or how they're apart of a made-up constellation to someone."

"A reason to shine, I used to believe I had a reason to shine like them." Raven softly continue, the feeling of expressing her emotions to Draco made her feel sick, however she couldn't stop. It felt good to get it off her chest, even if it was to a boy who'd pretend she didn't exist outside of his dorm. "And now I'm falling to pieces." Raven laughs at herself, hating what she was doing.

Through her talking, she had managed to finish the joint and she's never felt more amazing. It's all hitting her at the same time, causing her happiness to fill her.

"I'll miss you, y' know." Raven smiles, turning her face to the right and meeting Draco's confused gaze. "Since I'm no doubt going home."

Draco frowns, "You're not going home, Ray."

She sighs deeply, "I like it when you say Ray." 

He can't help but smile from how high and cute she was, Draco knew the dangers of letting himself enthral his focus on Raven was a bad idea— he caught feelings the day he met her and they went on until third year, he'd always liked her. Then, he hated her, but he has the truth now and he thinks he's catching feelings for her again. He doesn't want to hurt her, let alone getting her hurt from him acting with his heart— however, he can't stop it. 

She's just so beautiful to him. It's almost insane how much he liked her, he'd do anything to make it possible for her to stay at Hogwarts or even make his family accept her.

But, alas, that will never happen.

His families purist beliefs were drilled into their mind, just like Raven's parents. 

There was no chance.

She's worth the risk, though.


	40. mature F/F

"You should of seen her face." Pansy giggles, placing her hand upon my mid-thigh as we sat side my side on her black sheeted bed.

Draco had taken me to back to my dorm, I was a giggling mess the entire walk back. Thankfully, Astoria, or no one that matters us to know our friendship were in the common room; so we wouldn't be caught and no letters sent to our spiteful families. 

While at the astronomy tower, Draco didn't utter a word after what I stupidly told him. Like I said in the past, it felt good to unleash my worries and thoughts that endlessly eat away at my poor, damaged mind; but that, what I said, was far to nonsensical for me to announce. I had enjoyed discussing with Draco about my concerns, however after that I feel as though I'm getting too comfortable. The feeling is strange, I dislike it all to much and can sense my defensive barrier building up again— and I'm allowing it too.

It was conveyed in a way that our friendship, or fondness for one another, was life long and authorised by our parents; as though we were permitted to spend time with each other and share laughs, glances, smiles and conversations without consequences. I say fondness because I can see the unique glint in Draco's argentine eyes when I speak to him, they light up with fascination and adoration as they listen intently to what I say. I've seen how his eyes would slowly dart in between my eyes and lips, then I'd notice the smirk displayed on his lips when he sensed he had caused me to be effected by him.

Everything, every single mere aspect of when we were children and young adolescent years were shining through amidst us both; and I refuse to let it grow, to become more was idiotic. It's a harsh word, trust me I am absolutely aware of it, but I cannot allow Draco, nor I, attain torture from our impulsive and impassioned doings. 

Truthfully, Draco has helped me so much. Without him, Argento would still linger at the front of my mind all day and night, just awaiting to pounce at my weak point and cause me to sob until the earlier hours of the morning. Draco made him leave my mind, even when I wasn't with Draco in appropriate or scandalous settings, Argento never came to mind. He was gone, forever, and Draco did that. He's helped me oh so much, and there's only one way to repay him— to protect him.

"Pansy, tell me what you said to her." I urge, her expression bringing me a great deal of doubt to my mind— A huge smirk on her lips, eyes sparkling with pride and confidence, let's not forget how self-assured she seems by what she said to Astoria Greengrass.

Apparently something went down after I left, a few seconds after Vesper guided Angel and Ivy back to their seats in the Great Hall. Pansy was just back to tell me, we had smoked a joint together. 

Draco may of taken me to my dorm, but I wasn't sleeping away my current blissful high, I was going to treasure the feeling and long it until it ended. Angel and Ivy are thoroughly exciting to be stoned with, however I felt like a change— and Pansy's interesting, of course stunning and the best conversationalist.

Where's the harm in making new friends?

"Well..." Pansy trails on, she shuffles on her mattress and hauls the black sheets over her shoulders, then lays on her right and faces me. Copying her actions, laying on my left and facing the jet-black haired girl in interest as I await the 'drama'.

narrators POV   
one hour earlier...

The majority, well the entirety, of the Slytherin house watched as Raven Winters ambled out of the Great Hall, which was filled with the silence of gobsmacked students and no one had yet uttered a mere whisper. Supposedly, the face of Astoria Greengrass who appeared rather comparative to a raging bull had scared them all to hushed mouths. The girl had blood continuously gushing from her no longer perfect and dainty nose, the flawless curve was bruising a vile green and crooked to the left side— it was quite a look. A girl, once so utterly faultless and bold, was on the cold floor of the hall with shock. 

She was going to murder Raven Winters, but that wasn't her first priority. 

Astoria stood up, her eyes instantly on the blond boy who just sat there, in total bewilderment as the other students. "Have anything to say before I ruin you and your little girlfriend?" Astoria smirked at the boy, feeling no remorse and couldn't care less for the damage she'd cause if she were to open her mouth to Mr Winters or Mr Malfoy.

He just laughed at her, "You are pathetic, Astoria." His chuckles faded, turning into a smirk that drilled anger into Astoria. "I wouldn't get with that inbreed, you should know that." 

As the raging girls about to reply, another female student enters into the Great Hall. She stared at all the eyes on her, feeling quite bold from all the attention but can't help ask the question as to why there's attention on her. The hall was silent, eyes either on her or the girl standing in between Slytherin and Ravenclaw house tables. Her hazel eyes flickered to Draco, noticing his plea for help, then when she sensed Raven's presence void; she knew something horrible had just happened, which she was too late to protect both Draco and Raven from— but hopefully she wasn't too late. 

Pansy walked up to Astoria, constraining herself to keep a straight face; but the blood flowing from Astoria's nose and the bruises on her jaw, as well as the bridge of her nose was practically unachievable to maintain a blank expression. She let a small smile show, the corners of her lips twitching upwards ever so slightly, but it was just enough so Pansy could now hold herself back.

"Your little girlfriend, Parkinson, is sleeping around with Draco." Astoria crossed her arms over her chest, sending Pansy a pompous look. Her eyebrows raised, broken nose turned upwards to the ceiling and lips pressed firmly in a line. 

Pansy snickered, unable to control herself. "Firstly, Greengrass, what gave you such an impression? Secondly, Draco is very much single and may fuck however he wants." Pansy smugly replied, she understood explaining Draco's availability would pester Astoria; even if it was dangerous to announce while the conversation was about Raven.

"I don't care if he's single," Astoria forces the words out, feeling repelled by the realisation that he wasn't hers anymore. "He may get with whoever he wants, as long as it's not that inbreed." 

"That inbreed has a name, and it's Raven." Pansy sneered, sickened by Astoria. 

"Anyway, I have that impression from the way she was limping this morning, Parkinson." Astoria broadcasts, her voice louder to ensure the majority of the hall would hear and spread the gossip.

Then, Pansy started laughing, uncontrollably laughing at Astoria. Astoria stared at her as though she was a maniac, watching as Pansy wheezed for air and her laughs turned quiet, having to clap her hands to indicate how utterly comical she found it. "Oh my dear Greengrass..." Pansy giggled, catching her breath at last. 

"What?!" The girl asked in frustration, her top lip twitching.

"Dildos." Pansy announced, quite loud but somewhat discreet. 

Students gasped, whispered, cheered, whistled and banged the table in cheers— mostly boys of course. 

Yes, this would become a rather popular topic for rumours, it would be travelling around the school quicker than a wildfire on an arid, blazing summers day. Raven hates rumours, she wanted to be quiet and kept away for the two years of her schooling— but God clearly has other plans, plans in which Raven doesn't wholly enjoy. Pansy knew this, but she also gathered that Raven would much prefer a rumour she's with Pansy other than Draco.

Astoria's eyes widened, "D-Dildos?" She questioned Pansy in surprise.

"Oi! Parkinson, better let me watch next time!" Blaise cheered, causing the girl to smile at him. 

Draco was fine with this, Raven can't mean so much to him. He has to be comfortable with this.

Pansy smirked, "You can join next time."

The Slytherin table caused an uproar from the words Blaise had earned, he was taken aback. Nonetheless, he felt pride. 

Draco didn't care, he couldn't. 

end

Raven's POV

"Good god." I gulp, Pansy's eyes brewing with self-assurance. "Dildos."

Pansy laughs gently, "I know, I'm sorry it was all I could think of. Can you explain why you and Draco have to be so.. secret?" She asks kindly, clearly hoping for an answer. 

I sigh, "My father.. hates me around purebloods, especially the Malfoy's. I know you are a pureblood, but father doesn't do business with your family, so he won't care as much."

Pansy purses her lips, "You should've went to a halfblood, Ray. I don't want to put you in trouble, and I know everything. You're kinda the talk of the school." 

"That's fucking amazing." I groan in annoyance, "I wanted a quiet time here, not for everyone to know my business."

She places her hand on my shoulder, rubbing her thumb up and down with reassurance. "Dumbledore will no doubt here about it, he'll do something." Pansy says sweetly, sending me a quick smile.

"I think Draco and I have to stop, we're both catching feelings again." I unveil, sighing deeply. "Suppose you know about his and I's little friendship." I laugh quietly.

Pansy nods, "Of course, do whatever makes you feel safe."

"Yeah." I smile, glancing down.

Peering back up again, Pansy and I's eyes lock on one another's. Her hazel eyes were so striking, the viridian and forest green coincided with the acorn and chocolate tones all to well, creating a powerful and perfect concoction of colours. The olive tanned skin of hers was unblemished only with a few freckles sparsely scattered on her umber cheeks, the skin of her cheeks was also flushed a very vague pink, possibly from the muggle weed. A prominent, bend of Pansy's cupid bow trailed to the most plump and dusky pink lips. 

I allow my eyes to linger back up to her eyes, unarguably aware that Pansy noticed my fixated stare on her features. "Pansy." I murmur, then she leans forward and our lips meet. 

This felt different than the first few times, entirely dissimilar; but in a good way. The first kiss we had meant close to nothing, a simple action Pansy did to show me that thoughts were vanished during moments like this. Second kiss, it was solely done to distract Astoria from Draco and I, and too prove that Draco hadn't caused the hickeys on my neck— but this?

This was an explosion of sensations. Not wholly affectionate feelings, the ones in the mind or heart, but physical. Her lips felt so paradisiacal, perhaps the muggle weed that's presently storming my systems caused the sensation to be enhanced— that's definitely the reason, but nonetheless, it still feels absolutely heavenly. 

My bloodstreams flowing with the effects of the marijuana, creating all five of my senses to heighten. 

Sight, my eyes were closed softly, only seeing black but occasionally little shapes and lights were appear that didn't seem to have any meaning. But then, I'd imagine how Pansy and I looked to someone standing near us, seeing two girls with their lips locked on one another's so passionately. Then I could see it, my eyes imagined the scenario and I love it. 

Smell, the scent of black liquorice that we had been eating to fulfil the munchies that transpired from the weed. Her lavender perfume wafts into my nostrils, overpowering the liquorice. The alluring smell of her hair was also lavender, she truly smells like your walking through a field of fresh lavender and feel the pollen stick to your clothes, the scent following you around for days. With the multiple aspects of her lavender scents, it truly conquers all smells.

Taste, a piquancy of the black liquorice lingers from her soft, silky lips to mine, bringing the taste of the sweet candy on my own lips back to me. The candy grows stronger as Pansy lightly bites down on my bottom lip, causing me to allow her tongue access to mine; the sweetness meanders to my tongue swiftly but amazingly, then falls to the back of my throat and the liquorice taste expands to every corner of my mouth.

Hearing, sounds of us both heavily breathing, with the occasional sharp inhale from one of us as we'd take a quick gasp for a breath before continuing. Our sounds were accompanied by the slight ruffling of the sheets if one of us adjusted our position, becoming more comfortable into the kiss.

Touch, her lips felt like what clouds would; as you'd reach your hand up, the clouds fluffiness grazing upon the tips of our fingers in a celestial way. Her hand that was on my shoulder had travelled down to my waist, squeezing gently as the kiss grows more intense— we both know where this is leading to, and it doesn't seem like either of us is stopping it.

Sight, smell, taste, hearing and touch were all mixing together brilliantly; the muggle herb only intensifying the sensations between us both. 

With the tension between us heightening, I feel a wave of confidence storm through my veins. Taking the moment of boldness, allowing it to control me, I place my hand on either side of Pansy's shoulders and push her so that her backs against the mattress; I suppose it's lucky the girl has a double sized bed, otherwise she might've been pushed onto the floor, but that wouldn't of stopped us.

Shortly after I had pinned Pansy to lay on her back, I quickly bring my leg over and straddle her. Our lips never once left each other's, still locked tightly with no intentions of letting go. 

This felt sort of wrong, like how it seemed with Draco and I. But we knew it felt wrong and it landed with us having sex twice. Draco said I could do this, he didn't even seemed bothered— so what's holding me back? nothing.

Bringing my hand to rest beside her head, propping me up, I use the other to gently cup her face. The rhythm of our lips roughly moving against one another's is a completely different sight of how lightly our hands were, two completely dissimilar pressures but it mixed so well together. Pansy's hand grabs my chin, drawing me off her and how lips eventually parted. She smirks, "Getting bold, Ray?"

"You know it." I reply, smiling at her. Our eyes were displaying the same thing, lust and anticipation. It was oh so obvious, even the dumbest person on earth could see it.

"You sure you want to?" Pansy asks, removing her hand from my chin and slowly moving to the knot of my school tie.

"Yes." I affirm, Pansy adds a second hand to my tie and unknots it, all while keeping eye contact with me. As she begins to unbutton my blouse, I copy her actions and effortlessly loosen her lazy knotted tie, dropping it to the floor.

Her hands brush along my skin while she undoes the third button, moving to the fourth. "Draco's fine with this?" She ponders, her voice quiet and lustrous. 

I nod, "He is." Pansy returns my words of approval with a playful smirk, then leans her face up and capturing my lips with hers. She leans back down, but our lips never unlocked as I moved down with her. She reaches the last button, as do I, and I shrug my white blouse off before letting it aimlessly fall to the floor. 

Pansy takes ahold of the dominance, shoving me off her with her hands and pinning me on me back. Taking off her blouse off as well, it descends to the cool floor and Pansy deepens the kiss. Her tongue battles with mine, but my lack in experience causes me to almost immediately lose and Pansy's tongue adventures every crevice of my mouth. The warmth of her hands surrounds my breasts, squeezing lightly to see my reaction.

From her knee being in between my legs, nearing my core torturously, she feels me buck my hips against her and she smirks into the rough kiss. She moves her body up and down, her knee rubbing along my soaking panties and across my clit beautifully. I bring my hands around to her back, unclasping her bra, which seems to excite her extremely. She pulls away, smiling lustfully at me. "You seem to be knowing what your doing, Ray, sure you've only done this twice?" She plays, I tilt my head with amusement at her.

"Guess I'm a quick learner." I retort boldly, her eyes inflaming with eagerness from my confidence. The bra straps fall down her arms, my eyes widening upon the sight of her full breasts and throwing her bra onto the floor. 

"Would you like to learn how to pleasure a girl, Ray?" Pansy asks while she moves her hands between my back and the bed, unhooking my bra easily as though the mattress wasn't even there. 

I smile with anticipation, "Yes." 

Pansy smirks, slipping the straps of my bra down my arms slowly while keeping strong eye contact with me. The straps meet my wrists, to which Pansy slips them off and drops my lacy black bra to the floor amongst our other clothes. "Well firstly, my quick learner, building the tension is a must." Pansy begins, moving her knee from between my legs and over my hip so she's now straddling me. 

I think this may be a new favourite lesson in Hogwarts. 

"You can do this by.. light touching." She mentions, tilting herself down a pressing a soft finger upon my lips, tracing my bottom lip. "But not just the lips." Her index finger trails from my lips to down my chin, then along my jawline. She travels her finger gently to my neck, gliding over the multiple hickeys that Draco had given to me. Pansy giggles, "He's quite good with hickeys."

I smile at her, briefly nodding in agreement. Pansy proceeds, the tip of her index finger now outlining my prominent collarbones, "I suppose, your appearance already brings tension." Pansy admits, her finger dragging down to the area between my breasts.

"What do you mean?" I ponder, collecting my breaths and composing myself beneath her tantalising touch.

"You're so striking in looks, Ray." Pansy says sweetly, "Anyone would grasp tensions just by looking at you, it may not be worth it in bed then." 

"O-oh." I stammer, her finger now gliding down my stomach and over my belly button, playing with the hem of my skirt. 

"Oh, indeed." She smiles, unzipping my skirt and shuffles it down. I lift my hips, making it easier for her to take my skirt off. Kicking it off myself, moving my foot to the left where my skirt resided on and dropping it to the floor. "Secondly, kissing." Pansy advances, leaning back down again and plants a kiss upon my lips, then releases just as quickly as it transpired. "But not in one area, everywhere." 

The dominance in me takes over once more, and Pansy suspected it while I pin her back on her bed, me straddling her again. "Everywhere?" I whisper against her ear, softly kissing below her lobe. 

"How do you know what to do?" Pansy jokes, making me giggle.

"I've already had practice." I grin, then proceed to plant kisses along the tender skin of her neck; right where the pulse point was. Pansy sighs into my touch, allowing me to scatter light kisses across her neck.

"Then," Pansy breathes as I still do my motion, "Build up the power in the touch." 

I immediately know what she means, so I jump straight into it. 

Kissing rougher on her neck, moving my hands that were on her shoulders further down, boldly fondling with her breasts and feeling her nipples in between my fingers, slightly pinching as I squeeze her breasts firmer. Nipping at the skin of her neck, undoubtedly causing little bruises to form. I move down, completely unsure of what I'm doing but it's so exciting that I simply cannot stop myself.

It felt amazing, just as good with Draco— but I feel guilty thinking about this, he will always feel the best. No matter what. I suppose it's the suppressed emotions, or the slight feelings we have— nonetheless, Pansy still felt utterly blissful.

I suck on her skin roughly, creating a trail down her chest to her full boobs, where I change my force to much lighter; just to mix it up a little, I guess Draco taught me a lot. Kissing the area beside her nipple, I hear Pansy shakily exhale from my doing, I'm evidently doing something right. Making my kisses firmer, locking my lips beside her nipple and creating numerous hickeys over her breasts, then move back up to her mouth, where we both moan into the kiss. All while I did this, Pansy had unzipped her skirt taking it off herself, clearly allowing me to continue the kissing and not trouble myself with her skirt. 

Pansy holds the power again, shoving me onto my back. She dives to my neck, roughly creating harsh, fresh hickeys over Draco's. Copying what I boldly did, Pansy squeezes one of my breasts in her warm hand and covers the other in purple hues. "Another way to pleasure a girl is to know how to work your tongue." Pansy proceeds in her teaching, causing me to smile with eagerness. She sits up straight on my lap, I instantly feel how soaking she is from her sitting on her hips. "I presume you've gave Draco head?" She ponders, smirking.

"Yes." I reply back, Pansy grins and holds her index in front of my mouth. That was a lie, but there's no harm in that— I'm bound to end up doing it any time soon anyway. 

"Lightly suck on the tip of my finger." Pansy instructs sweetly, I comply and bring my lips around the tip of her finger, sucking ever so lightly. "I don't believe you haven't been with a girl before."

I giggle, "It's definitely my first time, don't I seem like an apprentice to you?"

Pansy rolls her eyes, chuckling softly. "No, you seem experienced." 

"Surprising." I say, licking the tip of her finger gently. Pansy smiles, taking her finger from my lips and circling it over my nipple, the cool air of her dorm dries the wetness on my nipple, causing goosebumps to shroud my skin. 

Pansy dives back down, our lips meeting once again. The eagerness is evident from the way we attack each other's swollen lips, hungrier than ever. Pansy was right, tension is important. 

As our lips are locked securely, tongues vigorously fighting for dominance and breaths heavier than ever, Pansy leans further down and our breasts press up against each other's. The warmth of her body so close to mine is alluring, a woman's body so close to mine felt the same way as a boys did— in the manner of enjoyment and pleasure, but both two completely different sensations, however as heavenly as each-other. Pansy's hands travel down my body, tracing the dip of my waist and I feel her smile against my lips. "You know boys would go crazy for your body." Pansy pulls away, informing. 

I furrow my brows, "It isn't that special."

Pansy scoffs, "It is. the curve of your waist, I'm sure Draco's hand could fit around him, and how your hips subtly curve out." Her hot breath fans across my lips, I am currently fixated on her words of complimenting my body; it is so amazing, I never saw my body as something so worthy of compliments like these. "You should show it off more, it'll make you more bold, especially knowing that it makes you impossible for people to keep away from."

I smile, then our lips lock on each other's again. I ponder on her words as we aggressively make out, her words mixing with what Ivy and Angel say may be starting to convince me. If my bodies so worth showing off, why not do it? I felt comfortable enough being naked with Draco, and now Pansy, surely being dressed scantly meant not much more.

Pansy parts lips, smirking at me before trailing kisses down my chest and abdomen, stopping at the hem of my panties. Placing her hands on my thigh, she pushes them up so my knees are in the air and feet flat on the mattress, legs spread and giving her complete access. Wearing a skimpy g-string today seemed to have done me favours, even though it's my most uncomfortable one; it's the most flattering and smallest. It's black, lacy and barely any fabric, perfect for moments like this, is it not?

As the covers were off of us both now, giving us display of each other's bodies, Pansy flutters her eyes up at me before moving her face closer to my core. I gulp, watching as she kisses my heat through the flimsy material and shifts to my inner thigh. Sucking roughly on my inner thighs, creating dark red hues that will definitely be purple by tomorrow, she slowly moves back to my soaking pussy. Pansy smirks, peering up at me momentarily while she hooks her fingers underneath the black fabric, tugging it to the side and giving herself access to me. The icy air meets my now unclothed core, a sensation that feels so good from the air hitting my wetness.

"Told you, tension is important." Pansy purrs against my core, her breath fanning across the sensitive skin. Her eyes flicker down to my pussy, slowly moving in and licking upwards at the most blissful pace. The sensation of her warm tongue mixing with the cool air creates the faultless feeling, a feeling of nothing bad came across me; just perfectness, there's no way for this to feel bad, it's truly only infallible.

Pansy licks up and down a few glorious times, each sole spot of my skin that she glided over felt amazing. Her hands pin down my thighs, stopping them from clenching together or moving at all for that matter. She begins sucking on my clit, causing me to throw my head back from the tantalising feeling. Propping myself onto my forearms, watching Pansy lightly suck on my clit with pure intents of making me climax from her determined face. Pansy released from my clit, licking strips up my pussy again. I can feel myself getting better by the minute, mixing with her saliva it was a pool of liquids.

Sucking on my clit again, the pressure heightened compared to the first time, I bite my lip as I watch her lips enclosed around my clit and sucking firmly. Keeping one arm propping me up, I use the other to gather all of her caliginous black hair, maintaining it from getting it her way. Pansy smiles at me from my action, then proceeds in sucking on my sensitive clit. 

Pansy licks a single strip up my pussy, then kisses up my body before moving off the bed. She pats the edge of the mattress, instructing me to sit there. Listening to her quickly, eager to feel the sensation again, I sit on the edge of bed. Pansy positions one of my legs over her shoulder, my other leg supports myself by situating on the wooden frame of the bed, the mattress had moved and allowed my foot to comfortably stay there. 

Her tongue contacts with my pussy again, smirking onto my smirk as my eyes widen from the sight of her hand moving under her underwear, beginning to pleasure herself while pleasuring me. Not questing her doings, although I'd much rather attempt to pleasure her myself, but I presume she thinks I should take note on what she does to me first; so that next time, I know.

Pansy moans against me, her lips still surrounding my clit as I watch her hand move in her panties. Her eyes notice when I'm focusing on so she uses her other hand to move her underwear to the side, giving me sight of her middle finger running over her clit. I bite my lip, enthralling my eyes on the sight while her tongue suddenly plunges into me. My back arches, then with one hand I grip the edge of the mattress and the other gathers her hair again, slightly holding her against my pussy.

Her motions on herself and my own core enhances in both pace and pressure, but slows down the pace of her tongue as it focuses on my clit and then uses her fingers to begin moving inside me. Watching her fingers plunge into her own core, noticing the pace was the exact same to the one in my pussy and knowing we were feeling the same sensations excites me. Her fingers start to curl within me, my eyes roll back from the surging feeling and my head drops back as well. With an arched back, gripping the sheets and holding her against my pussy, eyes and head rolled back, and becoming a moaning mess, I feel my much needed climax closing in.

I moan softly, feeling my orgasm becoming nearer and nearer. Her fingers curl blissfully inside me, the same motion on her own core and her moans were telling me she was nearing her orgasm as well. "Fuck." I whimper, bringing my eyes back to meet hers, which seemed to never had left mine. Biting my lip firmly, my climax soon to overcome me, I feel Pansy pick up her pace on sucking my clit and, diving and curling her fingers inside me, a louder moan escapes both our lips.

Soon to climax, her fingers curl against my tightening walls with power and our moans grow louder, echoing throughout the room and occasional soft whimpers audible from me. Keeping my eyes on Pansy, my climax closer than ever, I notice her nod to imply she's soon to cum as well. I glance at her fingers that were deep in her own core, moving quickly and using her thumb to circle her clit, the sight causing my climax to brim.

Arching my back, I feel my orgasm take over while Pansy moans into my pussy, her body convulsing as well. Watching as her fingers continue moving into both our pussy's, riding us through our highs. Pansy smirks, gliding her tongue up my folds a few times and licking my juices up, she stands up and sits beside me. "Want to clean me up too?" She asks, nodding towards her core. I smile, tugging my panties back over my exposed skin and dropping to my knees.

Glancing up at Pansy, I flicker my eyes back down to the sight of her core practically dripping with juices. I move her panties over a bit, giving me more access before gently gliding my tongue up her folds, feeling the sweet taste cloud my tastebuds. After a few more slow, tasteful licks, I hook my fingers under her underwear and place it over her heat.

I stand up, gathering my uniform while occasionally peering at Pansy, us both smirking with delight at each other. Slipping my blouse on, not worrying about my bra seeing as it'll come straight off when I return to my dorm and shower, gradually doing my buttons up. "The good things about girls is that you're rarely sore in the morning." Pansy chuckles, making me giggle with her. 

"I suppose that's true." I smile at her, pulling up my skirt and sipping it up.

"I was thinking," Pansy begins, clearing her throat and walking to her walk in robe (rich families, am I right?) 

"Uh oh, you were thinking." I joke, watching as Pansy walks out of the small room, slipping on an oversized purple hoodie that ended a few inches down her thighs. 

Pansy giggles while I clutch my tie and bra in my hands, awaiting for her to speak. "Since we need to convince people that you're definitely not with Draco, why don't we hang out sometime?" She asks, standing in front of me with a smirk on her face.

I raise my eyebrows, "There's something more to this, I can tell, spill it."

"Like act like we're dating or something? You can tell your sister or whatever that it's for show." Pansy shrugs, I twist my lips to the side in thought.

This doesn't seem like a bad idea.

Smiling at her, I agree. "Sure thing, girlfriend." 

Pansy rolls her eyes, "I'll meet you outside your dorm in the morning, girlfriend."

I giggle softly, peering back at her momentarily while I wander to the dorm door, placing my hand on the doorknob and twisting it open. "See you then, girlfriend." I joke back again, "Thanks for teaching me." I wink boldly, completely shocked by myself but instantly conceal it. Opening the door, I exit her dorm with a final glance at her amused expression, then amble to my own dorm.

⋆   
⋆  
a/n

my lord I haven't wrote something like that ever 😳  
— truly surprised by myself

I hope you liked this chapter! 

I'm sorry if you're not into girls or don't like Pansy, but this is crucial for the story so pleasE bear with me.   
— as well as that, I'm aware this is a DRACO fanfic and not a PANSY fanfic, but I truly promise it'll make sense!!! 

just hold ya horses! 🙈  
— also, there will be Draco smut still. Did you think I'd get rid of that brilliance? I'd hope not. Draco deserves some fun!

Anyway, please vote! Comment funny things or whatever, wattpad comments have a different vibe to other comment sections and I love it! so pls entertain me and show me your love for this book 🥺🥺

bye now!

btw, this is my longest chapter!  
5710 words!!!


	41. Chapter 41

Friday morning, it had been barely five minutes past seven and Angel felt the need to awaken me. From her energetically jumping on my bed and vigorously shaking me with excitement, for god knows why, I had found it impossible to go back to sleep and use the hour left until breakfast— but I was now completely wide awake. 

After yesterday night, I feel so free and it's incredibly strange. I suppose Pansy and I having fun had made me realise I actually may be bisexual, which is quite exciting honestly since I finally know the true answer to that question now, so I'm overjoyed. Ivy was awake, but had taken use of the shower ever since she woken so I hadn't seen her much.

I rake my hands through my dark expresso hair, ridding it from the few tangles that had transpired while I slept. Presently, I'm still in my pyjamas which were only an oversized t-shirt and the baggy green sweatpants. Standing in front of the floor length mirror that us three girls shared, straightening my hair out with my fingers as I quite dislike brushes, it makes the subtle curl in my hair to frizz and not appear nice in my opinion; plus, my fingers do the job just as well.

Angel lingers over to my side, only wearing her school blouse that wasn't buttoned her and lacy black Brazilian underwear. She stands beside me, nudging me with her elbow. "Yes, Angel?" I glance at her, raising my eyebrows.

"Your act with Pansy last night has everyone talking, it sounded so real." Angel laughs, my face dropping with the realisation of what she said.

I clear my throat, "That— wasn't an act." 

Angel's eyes widen, "Oh my god." Just as Angel was about to explode with rapid questions and burst with joy, Ivy exits the bathroom wearing her full school uniform and squeezing her hair dry with the dark grey towel. "Ivy! Guess what!!!" Angel beams, I glance at the floor to hide my smirk from the two of them. 

"What?" Ivy questions while getting relentlessly shaken by the shoulders from Angel, who definitely comprehend everything in under five seconds.

"I had sex with Pansy last night, and apparently a lot of people heard and thought it was real. With Angel thinking it was an act, she shocked because she now knows it wasn't an act." I blurt out, taking a clean shirt of the hanger in Angel's wardrobe. (we share now, it's quite fun). 

I watch Ivy's eyes widen, just like Angels did, "So your saying everyone was eavesdropping on you two actually fucking?" Ivy raises an eyebrow, the corner of her lips perking up into a smile.

I roll my eyes, "Unfortunately." Sliding my t-shirt off, dropping it in the hamper beside the wardrobe. I wasn't wearing a bra, but I'm faced away from them and actually rather comfortable around Ivy and Angel now. 

"That's— exciting." Ivy says, seemingly happy for me. 

Latching the clips on my bra, I swivel it around on my body so it's facing the right way, then I lean over slightly and put my arms through the straps. Standing up straight, I hoist my breasts up in the red push up bra that I decided to cheekily wear. "I guess it is." I reply, shrugging my shoulders. 

"So.. do you the know the answer to your question." Angel asks, stepping into her skirt and lifting it up onto her hips.

Putting my school blouse on, I turn around to face the two while buttoning it up. "Yes, and I am.. I think, it's confusing." I laugh softly, reaching the third button. 

Ivy smiles, "What did it feel like?" 

Humming in thought, finishing buttoning up my blouse and heading for my grey skirt that was also hung up on a skirt hanger, "Um.. it was good, would definitely go back to her." I admit, hoisting my skirt up my hips and zipping it up. 

"Just you did with Draco?" Angel raises an eyebrow, sitting on her bed and sliding her shoes on. 

I roll my eyes, "I guess so." 

At this moment, I feel weirdly guilty. Sure, Draco said I could and that it wouldn't bother him, nonetheless I still feel bad. On top of that, I can feel myself becoming tied to him again, growing a fondness for him— and that is not good. Draco and I are friends who occasionally fuck, not friends with feelings who occasionally fuck; it's dangerous and I can't risk it. 

Maybe stopping with Draco is a good idea? But then again I know i'll miss it, but maybe we just need to ensure with each other that it's strictly for fun and no feelings are to get involved— then it will all be sorted and I don't need to worry. But that seems stupid, I can't continue to fuck him and not catch feelings for him again— however I think I have a solution to that.

Finishing up the rest of my uniform, ditching the school robe for the morning as Professor Vector, the Arithmancy Professor, is quite lenient and lets you off the hook with practically anything. Switching the robe for an oversized green zip-up hoodie of Ivy's that she allowed me to keep, seeing as I have a love for oversized things and especially jumpers.

Honestly, I'm somewhat nervous to speak with Draco but it's totally necessary and needed— I just know i'll ponder on it for longer than I need to, so telling him as soon as possible would essentially assist in my overthinking. Also, he's pretty easy to talk to, I mean sometimes he is and I'm hoping he will be today, because I am not in the mood for an argument.

"Angel and I are heading down a few minutes early, I want to get the fucking pancakes with the two oafs eat them all." Ivy informs, rushing out the door with Angel latched to her; both eager to snatch those pancakes before Crabbe and Goyle, which is very understandable. Every Friday they always eat majority of them, leaving Angel and Ivy will crumbs so they clearly weren't allowing that to happen again.

Hoisting my book bag onto my shoulder, the thick strap being quite long so the bag draped down to my hips, I hear a knock at my door and I immediately know who it is— my new girlfriend. I grab the novel Outlander from my nightstand, slipping it into my bag and skipping to the door. 

Exiting my room, closing the door behind me, I smile at Pansy who was leaning against the wall adjacent to my dorm, smirking at me with excitement. "Morning." I say while we begin walking down the girls dormitory corridor and into the common room.

"Good morning," Pansy beams, clasping my hand in hands and intertwining our fingers. "So.. I've heard some talk and we may of forgotten a silencing charm..."

I giggle softly, "I'm well aware, Angel thought we were acting."

Pansy snickers, "We're pretty good actors then."

"I know." I reply, sighing quietly. 

We step into common room, eyes of numerous students immediately dart to us. I watch as boys elbow their friends, whispering to them before whistling at us loudly, girls glared at us (for god knows what reason), whereas some smirk at us. Pansy and I ignore it all, smiling at each other when we caught ones eye in the corner of our own, attempting to hold back our laughs with difficulty. Exiting out the the common room, we instantly burst into laughter.

"Did you see their faces?" I laugh, stepping closer to Pansy's side.

Pansy scoffs, "How could I not? That was eventful." 

Continuing to giggle about the recent experience, we saunter to the Great Hall while holding hands and earning even more stares, which doesn't really bother either of us; I suppose Pansy liked the attention and I liked that people thought we were together, and not with Draco. As much as I shouldn't enjoy it, I truly do, and that's the attention I mean. I wasn't getting attention from my father, at least that's what I presume since the expressions of students we walked by were devoid of sympathy of remorse, only shock or practically drooling. Maybe I was getting some attention from punching Astoria twice, fortunately breaking her nose on the second. But, I don't really mind, as long as I'm not getting consumed with sorrowful glances than I'm fine.

Like I've always said, I hate sympathy. It's utterly irritating when people try to console you when they have absolutely no idea of what it's like, you can't even explain it without them feeling worse for you; so it's better to not tell them at all and decline conversations where people want to check if your okay. It's just better than way, always has been.

Pansy and I eventually enter the Great Hall, the states were stronger than ever now and it was rather overwhelming. You had the Hufflepuff boys on the end of that table that always looked terrified of me, which they now appeared like stone statues and essentially not breathing incase they breathed the wrong way while around me, and that I am totally sick of. "Give me a second." I say to Pansy quietly, letting go of her hand and she waits at the end of the Slytherin table, chatting with that Daphne Greengrass girl.

I wander back over the Hufflepuff boys, one of them had noticed me and whispered to all his friends, the four students eyes now on me as I kindly walk over to them. Taking a seat on the end space, beside one of the more attractive boys, who seemed less scared of me. I sweetly smile at them all while they all gulp in fear, expect the one beside me. 

Glancing up at his, viewing his rose tinted cheeks that seemed to be his most standing out feature, I flicker my eyes over his sharp jawline, then his bright blue eyes. Darting my eyes away from his and around to the other three, continuing to smile at them friendlily. "I—" I begin to speak, but the boy in front of me physically flinches from the single letter I uttered before I was disrupted by him.

I blink at him blankly, "What's your name?" Asking him, keeping my eyes on his. 

He looks purely petrified, which I'm sick of. So, I need to become friendly with them and tell them to stop. "J-Justin Finch-Fletchley." Justin stutters out after his friend elbowed him, urging him to speak up.

Justin had dark brown hair, gelled down with a side part. If I'm honest, and in no way am I being rude, he's not very interesting to look at— he looks like any other boy I would see walking the streets of London or the towns in England, just a simple looking boy. He seemed rather stuck up though, in my opinion of course. His brown eyes were on mine in fear, still, but hopefully he'd feel comfortable soon after I talk to his other friends. 

"And you?" I raise my eyebrows at the boy beside him, he noticeably gulps before opening his mouth to speak, thankfully not having to be elbowed.

"Michael Corner." Michael smiles back, being the second boy to be kind with my presence around. The boy looked rather sweet to begin with, but he is a Hufflepuff, most of them seem friendly. 

He has shoulder length hair that's a deep black, an overall shaggy appearance of his hair. It was swiped over his forehead, somewhat like a fringe. However, it was rather glossy and shone in the beaming sun rays that shot through the large windows in the Great Hall. His eyes were blue, except more of a green shade compared to the boy beside me. Michael's cheeks weren't flushed a bright pink anymore, only showing the true colour now and finally being sparse of fear. Just what I was hoping for. 

I didn't want them to be scared of me anymore, it's so tiring coming into the Great Hall three times a day to be greeted with their faces first, considering their table is in the middle and the boys always sit at the end. They'd never not be terrified by me, I am far from an evil person or even a bully for that matter, what happened with Astoria was purely out of anger. And, these boys haven't angered me or caused me harm. I just don't understand why they always appear like statues and hold their breath when I walk past, it makes matters worse that they take in their last breath LOUDLY so I can essentially hear them doing it; it irritates to me a level.

Typically, I'd deal with these students by ignoring them, and I'm usually able to deal with annoying people or things— but I am done.

"And you..?" I question the other boy beside the one I was next to, leaning over to meet his eyes.

The boy blinks at me, then answers, "Ernest Macmillan." Ernest forces a smile, the corners resisting to perk up and convey a sweet smile. I giggle at him, taking in how impossible he found it to give me a brief smile in return to mine. 

This boy was scrawnier than the other two, being a lot skinner than the other two. His hair is blond, yet the same shaggy appearance as his mate Michael that was sitting opposite him, it didn't have the glow however, but it was a nice shade of golden blond. The eyes that remained on mine were still somewhat frightened, his iris's a deep blue, in a way they appeared like the ocean— their nice appearance striving far from his distinct terror on his eyes. Eventually, he builds up a smile and I return it with my own. 

I flicker my eyes to the boy beside me, who was glancing down at me with inquisition. "Cedric Diggory." Cedric answers before I had even opened my mouth, I grin at the boy for finally having one of the three be very friendly. "Now, may I ask what brings a Slytherin to the Hufflepuff table?" He questions, making me smile from him diving into conversation.

"I just wanted to have a little chat." I shrug, keeping my eyes on Cedric's blue ones. "Needed to get something across to your friends, but while I'm here, how haven't I seen you in any of my classes? These boys are sixth years, right?" I tilt my head slightly in question, maintaining my eyes away for the other three as I spoke to Cedric.

He laughs lowly, his cheeks flushing more pinker than before. "I'm a seventh year, prefer sitting with sixth years though." Cedric informs, smiling kindly at me. "So, what information did you want to get across to them?" He asks, the smile still visible. 

"Well," I begin standing up and extending my arm over the table, having to bend over slightly to reach Justin. "I'm Raven." I smile, Justin comprehends what I'm doing and shakes my hand. I move my hand in front of Michael, to which he instantly shakes with a smile. Then I lean over Cedric, muttering an apology for my rudeness of leaning over him. Ernest shakes my hand, able to smile without forcing it. 

I sit back down, smiling at the four. "So— Justin, Michael, Ernest and Cedric, I'd like to say that I we can be friends, yes?" I raise my brows at them, to which they shrug and nod. "I would prefer it you'd know I'm not going to hurt you, or punch you like I did to Astoria— she deserved it. You four haven't done such things to annoy me." They all glance at me with shock.

"Since we're now friends and acquainted with one another, how about we stop being silly and give me a smile instead of holding your breath in fear?" I grin at the four boys, they seemed to be in shock still.

Michael clears his throat, "You, a Slytherin wants to be friends with us?"

I smile, "Sure, will you all stop thinking I'm some evil person?"

"Of course, Raven." Cedric warmly smiles.

"Yeah sure." Ernest shrugs, his eyes on the two boys that hadn't said their approvals or understanding.

"Sure." Michael and Justin say at the same time, giving themselves a high-five and yelling jinx before laughing. 

I stand up, moving myself off the bench and to the front of their table. "Glad we're friends." I smile, then walk back over to Pansy who was smirking at me. 

"What was that all about?" Pansy wonders, holding my hand again.

Glancing back at the four boys, all staring with mouths open and soon to droll, "Just needed to ask them something." I look at Pansy again, nudging her side as we sit in a different stop for breakfast; the seat where she always sits, which is beside Daphne. 

Half of breakfast time goes by, and Dumbledore had only just cleared his throat to announce the necessary morning announcement he made if there was classroom changes or important news. The Hall quietens, politely and patiently waiting for his announcement. 

Headmaster Dumbledore clears his throat once more, standing in front of the whole school. "Now students, I hope you all had a restful sleep and are eager for classes— but I have some rather important matters to discuss." He begins, and I have a dooming feeling in my gut that it has it do with me. "Firstly, would Raven Winters and Astoria Greengrass accompany me back to my office after my announcement." Dumbledore broadcasts, eyes from the other houses instantly dart to the Slytherin table and wander over the heads until they saw Astoria or myself.

I sigh, glancing at Pansy who strangely seemed like she's about to laugh. Elbowing her side to stop her, I lean into her ear to whisper, "Be quiet, you'll make me laugh." I mutter, Pansy peers down and smirks. Knowing the smirk was never to be wiped off her face as it's the only way she seemed to hold her laughter back, I glance to Headmaster Dumbledore again as he proceeds.

"I have been aware of some new rumours spreading about the school, I would assure you no consequences if the words do not leave your mouths. Please know that the rumour is not true, and that lies were said yesterday evening." Headmaster Dumbledore discloses, and I sigh deeply in relief.

He had told the school it was a lie, thank god. I don't think he knows how much that means to me, the school would undoubtedly believe the man considering he's essentially a genius and scarily knows everything— is there any reason as to not believe him? I know that if I were one of these many students unaware of the real situation, I'd believe the Headmaster instantly.

"Thank you, enjoy your classes and I hope to hear no rumours." He finishes, stepping down the few stairs and makes his way between Slytherin and Ravenclaw house tables, nodding his head at Astoria as his passed her. Astoria stood up, trailing behind him. I sigh as he nods at me, and I stand up as well. 

"Good luck, girlfriend." Pansy grins, unexpectedly standing up as well and cups my cheeks, roughly kissing my lips. She draws back, planting a much softer kiss on my lips then departs her warm hands from my face. As she sits down, I roll my eyes and walk away, however Pansy swiftly slaps my arse and I smirk in return, peering back at her briefly.

I mouth bye to Pansy, then exit the Great Hall to see Headmaster Dumbledore standing adjacent to Astoria, chatting with her sternly. Wandering up to the two, Dumbledore glances at me and nods to acknowledge me, "Let's have a small discussion in my office, shall we?" He rhetorically asks, to which Astoria and I nod and begin following him to his office.

⋆ ⋆

Sitting beside Astoria, us both having our own wooden chairs and thankfully not having to share of a bench or what not. Headmaster Dumbledore sat in front of us behind his large desk, which was scattered with parchments and a quill lazily laid beside all the numerous papers, it seems like he was doing something important. It had been probably two minutes since we sat adjacent to the old wizard, us both awkwardly staring at him as we await for him to speak.

There's no lie, he seems thoroughly disappointed. 

"I presume you know what this is about?" Dumbledore questions, earning a mere nod from both Astoria and I. He nods his head, sighing heavily. "I'd like to begin by saying I will not tolerate an argument in this room, we will be polite to one another and solve this problem appropriately." 

We both nod again in understanding. 

"Very well," Dumbledore leans back in his grand office chair, his wrinkly hands on either side of the armrests and his right fingertips tapping against the wood as he ponders on something. "Starting this off, both of you need to understand that your actions were inappropriate, even if they had intentions. Even though this doesn't disregard what you did, I would like to hear the story from both sides, seeing as you both disappeared after the event and I only got onlookers perspectives." He says with disappointment, "Miss Winters, I'd like you to hear your side of the story first."

Astoria scoffs quietly, only audible to me as we were closer, but unfortunately Headmaster Dumbledore hadn't noticed. 

I clear my throat, "Well— Astoria seems to have made an incorrect judgement about me and a student in Slytherin house." I start, glancing at Dumbledore in case he wanted to ask about what I said. 

Headmaster Dumbledore picks up his quill, then begins writing along the lines on a parchment in front of him; it may be an incident report, seemed similar to the ones I had seen with Vesper, seeing as you get a copy sent home along with your report card. "Would you mind discussing he student and the supposed incorrect judgement, Miss Winters?" Dumbledore peers up from his small glasses for a brief moment, then proceeds in writing something.

I gulp, "Um— Draco Malfoy and the incorrect judgement is that we are together, because we're not I'm actually with Pansy Parkinson."

Astoria gasps, but keeps her mouth sealed in case of further consequences. "Ah I see, continue." He ushers on, probably writing down everything I say.

"I asked Astoria why she thought I was obsessed with with him, which she said, and I quote, 'you need a male figure because of your dad beating you all the time'." I unveil, I can practically hear Astoria's teeth gritting.

Honestly, I'm thrilled to hear her side of the story. 

Dumbledore nods as he writes, exhaling heavily. "Ah— I would like to privately discuss that after this if your comfortable?"

I nod, hesitatingly agreeing. I'll just lie, it always works.

"So her comment led to you physically abusing Miss Greengrass, are you aware she's a fifth year student?" Headmaster Dumbledore raises his eyebrows, glancing at Astoria then keeping his blue eyes on mine.

"There's multiple other reasons, Sir, and yes I am aware she is, but that shouldn't disregard anything, what she said is vile and not her business to share." I snap, trying desperately to keep myself polite but I can NOT STAND the girl beside me. If I could, I'd do it again.....

"I'd like to hear the other reasons, Miss Winters. — And I must agree, such words never should of been uttered by a girl of such high morals, Miss Greengrass." Headmaster says, looking at me but then at Astoria as he conveys his words to her.

I smile at him, continuing. "Astoria may of egged me on, Sir."

The conversation proceeded, Dumbledore didn't seem to be taking sides and would converse how both our actions were wrong when they were brought up. Surprisingly though, Astoria admitted that what I said was correct and she had been riled up with emotions after her breakup with Draco, which apparently happened at the end of fifth year, so why is this girl conveying it as though it happened yesterday?

It shocked me that Astoria's perspective was essentially what I had told him, but obviously twisted it in a way that I displayed flirty intentions with Draco that caused her to have bad judgement— which is just comical. The conversation went on for roughly ten minutes, ending in a detention this afternoon with the Headmaster himself to solve the problem between Astoria and I, and Merlin knows what that's going to be. But it's an easy consequence, plus it wasn't going on my report card, which I'm thoroughly glad about. 

But now, that means I have to talk with Dumbledore about my father, and I am not looking forward to this at all. 

Sitting awkwardly in front of him, bouncing my knee up and down, I hear the door click and that meant Astoria was gone. Dumbledore was still seated at his grand office chair, allowing Astoria to guide herself out of his office and back to her class. "Miss Winters, should I be concerned for any reason?" Dumbledore begins, my breaths instantly hitch. I know from rumours that Dumbledore's great at mind reading, so I blank my mind just like how I practiced at home with after reading my books.

I shake my head side to side, "No, Sir. What you announced this morning is true, the rumours and actuality of it is a lie too." I say boldly, if I were quiet I'd come across as hiding something, don't you think?

"You're positive? Miss Greengrass said a lie that angered you enough to physically hurt her?" He questions my words, making me sigh and collect my thoughts.

I gulp, "Fine— My real dad hurt me once, when I met him, and the father I live shows me no care." I lie, pretty well in fact that Dumbledore nods in understanding. "That's it, I assure you."

Headmaster Dumbledore exhales deeply, "I trust you, Miss Winters. However just know that help is not far, don't feel too shy to ask for help." He informs, which I nod to in agreement. "Well then, I hope to hear of no troubles and I'll see you after dinner." 

And with that, I leave his office then instantly head to the hour and a few minutes of Arithmancy I had left from Dumbledore taking around twenty— which I wouldn't of minded if I had something important to discuss with a particular blond boy, who's in my Arithmancy class. It was the only class I'd be able to trick the Professor into thinking we were getting books from the library, which I needed to do but also talk to Draco— and Professor Vector would allow us to leave for a few minutes.

I am nervous, but it needs to happen.

⋆   
⋆


	42. Chapter 42

Eventually, I had made it to Arithmancy and the long walk took five minutes off my conversation I needed to have with someone, but perhaps I'm overreacting, I still had a little over an hour to discuss it with Draco. 

Stood against the wall beside the door of the Arithmancy classroom, the door wide open but the only sounds were quills against parchments and textbook pages flickering, which means today's lesson was quiet working on your assignment that was due the same date as DADA; seventh of December. Professor Vector had allowed us to work within the people beside us to complete our assignments, she mostly let the class loose but we were silent so she never took away that privilege, which other Professors had to abolish from their classes since everyone would end up the opposite of quiet.

Finally building up the confidence, I enter the classroom and see my spot between Ivy and Draco is just waiting for me to sit there. I smile at Professor Vector, who nods in response and attends to a student who had their hand in the air. I amble over to Ivy and Draco, taking a seat between them. 

"Finally." Ivy whispers, our stares meeting. I place my bag behind me on the floor, only taking my Arithmancy textbook out. 

I roll my eyes, "I know."

"So, what happened?" Ivy asks, nudging closer to me so our conversation is private and unknown to other students.

"I have to go back after dinner with Astoria to solve our issues," I inform, glancing at Draco briefly but notice he's too busy doing his assignment. "And get this, Astoria practically said the same story as I did— that it was from her egging me on and all that shit." 

Ivy chuckles softly, "She's insane, did Dumbledore discuss the thing Pansy said?"

I snicker, "Do you think such man would discuss what Pansy said?" I raise my eyebrows at his in disbelief, to which she chuckles and continues on with her work. 

Five minutes pass, I felt like I should've just sat in class before storming back out with Draco, that would seem strange. Considering I could of got the book I needed when heading back from the Headmasters office, so I might as well pretend the thought had completely slipped my mind. Also, I wanted to be discreet about this, not wanting anyone to watch me leave the room with Draco. 

I shuffle on the bench closer to Draco, "I need to talk to you." I whisper, he turns to me and furrows his brows, but I stand up and pay not attention to his confusion and make my way to Professor Vector's desk.

"Professor, is it okay if Draco and I head to library to get books we need for our assignments?" I ask quietly, smiling at her warmly.

Professor Vector nods, "Of course." Replying with the same quietness as I spoke.

Making my way over to Draco, who was already standing at the door waiting for me, I smile as I meet his side. We walk out of the door, heading to the library that was a mere few minute walk, not being that far away. Draco looked thoroughly confused the entire walk, I hadn't began talking yet and I wasn't planning to until we were in a place where he'd have to remain quiet; no yelling at all costs. 

Eventually, we made to the library and I immediately turned to Draco as we entered. He returns the stare, appearing concerned. I sigh, moving closer to his side so the conversation was secret. "It's about us." I say silently, being quite thankful that the library had barely any students here this morning.

"And what is it?" Draco asks, following my steps to the aisle that had Arithmancy and all its branching topics of simple and difficult available in two long sections of the bookshelf. 

"Us, I can't continue if there's like— feelings involved." I begin, slowly skimming the tip of my finger along the spine of the books, tracing my finger over each individual spine as I read the title on the side.

"There never was." He scoffs, seemingly surprised that I had said that.

I glance at him, "I was just making sure." I look back at the titles of the books again.

I sigh, "It's dangerous, Draco." 

Draco snickers, "Are you serious? We've fucking been over this."

He's right, we have, but I worry too much about everything. 

"Draco— After what Astoria said, I don't think we should... continue this." I confess, the words felt so wrong as they left my lips, in a way that everything I said was a lie— and it is, I don't want it to end at all, but I can't risk it. 

Suddenly, Draco grabs my wrist and drags me out of library, everything went by so fast and soon I'm standing in a classroom with no professors nor students, just Draco, as well as being backed into a desk. "Where is this coming from?" Draco questions me, his height towering over me from how close we were. I grip the edge of the desk with my hands, glancing up at him while biting my lip in thought.

"I know it's only strictly fun, no feelings— which there isn't I just feel bad." I begin, feeling nervously with how close he was too me. "Well— I fucked Pansy, and I guess I feel guilty that your only getting with me.. so I just—" I blurt out, Draco's eyebrows furrowing as he comprehends what I'm saying.

Draco blinks blankly before opening his mouth to say something, but closes it and chooses not to say it. "So what your saying is you want me to fuck other girls?" He clarifies, and I nod in affirmation to his words.

"Yes," I sigh, knowing I'm going to hate all of this if he goes through with it. "It is only fair."

"Fine." He shrugs, his hand contacts with the side of my face and he tucks stray strands of my brown hair behind my ear. "But you can't get jealous, you wanted this." 

I nod, "I know."

Supposedly, I have the idea that if he gets with other girls that it'll make me not catch feelings for him and nor will he catch feelings for me— if he sleeps with other girls, than I can sleep with whoever I want, and that's exactly what I'll do to forget any feelings I have that may of been unearthed.

"Hm, like to see how this will end." Draco snickers, causing me to furrow my brows at him.

"You know if you only fucked me, girls would start to think somethings up, shouldn't you live up to your title?" I snap, watching the smirk on his face grow. "I think you should live up to your title."

Draco nods, "Of course." He tilts his head, viewing my bothered expression with amusement. "You can get with other guys then, princess, but you'll get bored and come back to me— I promise." 

I blink, trying to understand what he said. "What— This isn't ending, it's just you can fuck whoever you want."

"I know," He bites his bottom lip, taking a step back and viewing my short skirt with lust. "And so are you," Draco steps forward again, leaning down and plants gentle kisses on my pulse point. "What I'm saying is that they can't please you like I can, you'll realise soon princess." He leans back again, smirking at how weakened I became just by him kissing my neck. "See, none of them can do that simply by kissing your neck."

I gulp, "I have books to get." I move from the table, hearing Draco chuckle lowly and follow me out of the classroom, but of course, just like Pansy; he slapped my arse as I walked past, very nice. 

I ended up getting my books, Draco and I returned to class with no one being suspicious; I mean, we were only gone for a few minutes so there's no reason to be skeptical about it, plus barely anyone knew we had left.

I felt good about telling Draco that, all we are is fuck buddies I guess. Honestly, I know Draco ruined my expectations for being in bed with boys, Pansy ruined my expectations with girls, but I'm open to adventuring new things and new people. 

Confidence is all I felt, I wonder if Draco feels good or hates himself for making me realised the greatness about sex— without him, I'd still sob in my sheets while I ruminate on how sex is irremediable for me. But, alas, he helped me out of that hole and I suppose he's created quite a curious girl out of it.

And the funs only beginning for me.

⋆   
⋆

ahhhh Raven becoming confident!! yayyyyy

IMPORTANT ;; please don't call her a hoe, or any of that sort in a disrespectful way. She's being open and venturing into her sex life, not selling her body and begging for pleasure. 

— It's all strictly fun for her as she finally feels free with her body and isn't worried. 

— she also won't be hooking up with random students, mostly people she's friends with. (Pansy, Draco; they are friends) 

thank you!


	43. Chapter 43

4th of November.

It's been two, nearly three, weeks since Draco and I's little chat, seems like it was honestly yesterday but then again— the amount of girls I'd find on their knees with Draco in empty classrooms, bathrooms, or literally anywhere was absurd and reminded me that we had our chat weeks ago. Guess it made me gather realisation, like truly grasp the actuality of what I agreed to.

Hating to admit this, but Draco was right— right about essentially everything he said that day, I could never be pleased as well as Draco did to me by anyone. I had only been with two guys, a random Ravenclaw boy who now thinks we're in love; I have my own Astoria that Draco has, and I only got with him because I saw Draco with a girl and it annoyed me— so out of spite I spelt with the random student. 

The second, oh lord the second boy, it was Blaise. Spur of the moment, I came into commons cursing at myself on a Friday night, Angel and Ivy were at Hermione's for their typical sleepovers, so Blaise came to my dorm and asked if I was okay— then I kissed him, one thing lead to another and boom, we slept with each other. Of course, I made him swear on his grave that he wouldn't tell Draco; I practically got with his best friend, I don't see Draco getting with Ivy or Angel— and I feel shit about it.

But neither of them made me feel things like Draco did, I prayed that someone could pleasure me like Draco, however I seemed to never be blessed with that desirable need. Nonetheless, after Blaise, which was a week ago, I told Pansy and she got mad that I hadn't told her the details; she didn't care that I did it at all, and that made me feel relieved. I thought she'd hate me or something, seeing as we're still fake dating. Back to sex though, Pansy made me feel amazing, but it's never like Draco and I hate myself for thinking about it like that. 

Draco's fucking addictive, he's basically a drug to me. I can't get enough of him, I endlessly crave his touch but every time I go to his dorm I either get ignored, or the door gets answered by a random girl with one of Draco's shirts on, or he answers then smirks and closes the door. It's as though he wanted me to explode, and soon, I'm going to. 

I just want him to give so much pleasure that my eyes roll back, that my toes curled and my nails dug into his skin. I want to feel him, I'm craving him and I hate it. I'm trying to get over him, he's clearly toying with me because I was so self-assured that I wouldn't go crawling back to him, but I was crawling back to him. He knew what he was doing, I'd watch him smirk at me or he'd randomly start running his finger tips over my inner thighs then abruptly stop— it hasn't gone further than him touching my thighs.

But, that's what I get I suppose. If he wants to act like that, then I'll only give him a taste of his own medicine. Honestly, I love this new side of me, I'm so confident and it makes me feel utterly great. Plus, Vesper knows about the whole situation and she's glad I'm comfortable with my body and healing from the experience in the third week of school— she just wants me to stay safe and not get pregnant, the reason she's so lenient is because she acted the same way in sixth year and knows it's only fair I experienced it all as well.

Presently, it's dinner and I had just walked into the hall alone; Pansy had a detention with Professor McGonagall over yelling at a student to stop kicking the back of her chair, which was fun to watch. I was smiling at the situation transpire, but my smile dropped from my face as I turned around and saw Draco smirking at me; ruined the vibe honestly. I'm not being nice to him until he's nice to me, and toying with me isn't nice even if it's playful— He turns me on then leaves or stops, and it's relentlessly bothering. 

"So, Cedric, how's seventh year?" I ask him, sitting in the same spot I sat in all those weeks ago when I finally told the three Hufflepuffs to stop being so frightened of me, who wouldn't known that it'd lead to me being good friends with one of them, Cedric. Michael's cool, Ernest and Justin now sit across from each other so Michael was in front of me now, which doesn't mind me. Ernest and Justin scare me, not in a fright type of scare, it's more of a creepy scare, seeing as all they talk about is muggle video games and it's strange. 

"Same as Sixth but a tad harder, especially if your doing N.E.W.Ts." Cedric shrugs, taking a sip of water from his glass.

I worriedly chuckle, "That's reassuring." 

Over the past three weeks, I've become rather... less reserved you could say. I don't entirely read books for all hours of the day, finally broke that habit from hanging out with Pansy, Angel or Ivy most of the time— so I mostly read in my free time or in classes where the Professors are too oblivious to know, it's when I get my peace and quiet time. 

Sometimes, I loathe how bold and spontaneous I've become. I'd dwell on it for a few minutes, but then I remembered how joyful Vesper was when she realised how unreserved I was— she was proud of me, I felt like I really made her happy, so I'll continue to be the opposite of who I once was; even if it bothers me. I suppose, it made my emotion wall build higher and stronger than ever, which is really good for me. Practically no one could get it and I could hide things so well it's quite worrying, seeing as I have a letter from the Winters residence about a conversation on the subject at school will be happening during the Christmas holidays— and I am so utterly thrilled for that. I know it's not good, but no one needs to know about it.

Cedric smiles, "You chose to do it all your subjects, I'm only preparing you." I softly laugh at him, rolling my eyes playfully. 

Before you say anything, no, Cedric is not up for discussion on someone I'd sleep with— we're only friends, and he likes some girl named Cho Chang, apparently she's in sixth year. Being more outgoing had made me become known with so many more people, it was amazing. I had been acquainted with more of Cedric's friends, seventh years as well, but mostly with the people on his Quidditch team, which he happens to head of the team and of Hufflepuff house— how luring. Cedrics just a good boy honestly, and Cho Chang seems great for him.

"I know, anyway, how's things with Cho?" I ask him, picking a roasted carrot off his plate and popping it in my mouth. 

Cedric frowns, but swiftly turns it into a smile and shakes his head laughing at me. "She's good— did you hear what Dumbledore said before dinner?" He asks, my brows furrow which answered the question for him. "There's a ball, before Christmas, seeing as students are bummed about the Triwizard tournament not happening here after rumours it was." Cedric informs, I instantly feel myself beam from that information. "Suppose the Headmaster forgot to tell us that weeks ago." He laughs warmly.

"Huh, that's exciting." I shrug, "What type of ball?"

Cedric furrows his brows in thought, "Winter Wonderland?"

I snicker playfully, "How original."

"Oh, I know," He jokes, "It's sort of silly, but I was thinking of asking Cho to go with me." His cheeks flush a rosier pink, the blue eyes of his refusing to meet mine in embarrassment. 

Pouting in awe, "That's cute, not silly at all." I continue pouting, Cedric softly laughs at me childishly pouting from how shy and embarrassed he was acting. 

Through the three weeks, it's strange how close me and this boy grew. If I saw him in the halls, I'd give him a hug or wave happily if I was talking with friends, it's nice though— having a male friend that isn't.. well.. a mere root than a boot. That's really the only simple way to put it, plus we'd never do it anyway as it's more of a brother and sister type friendship, so that'd be incredibly weird. But, nonetheless, we've actually studied a few times together and he talks about Cho a lot— I don't have much to talk about, once I told him about the Ravenclaw boy I got with and said I could do better, which I can, it was in the moment and I needed someone to make Draco jealous with; even though it didn't work.

"Time will fly by though, do I get it over and done with or wait a little longer?" Cedric asks, I prop my elbow on the table and rest my chin upon my palm, facing him. 

"When is it specifically?" I question.

Cedric swallows down his sip of water, "fifteenth, that's the date all assignments and essays are finished on." 

"Wait until the beginning of December, that seems like a good time to ask." I assist, to which he immediately nods in agreement with me. "Oh! you must let me help you ask her!!" 

"How? Won't it only be a small asking to my date to the dance?" He quizzes me, and I scoff playfully.

I fiddle with the end of one of my braided piggy-tails, "I think you should buy her something pretty, then ask her down at the black lake or something," I shrug, his face lighting up with excitement. "Just make it cute, I guess." 

Cedric grins with glee, "What would I do without you?"

I smile at him, "Probably not a lot."

Thirty minutes pass, I noticed Draco walk in a few minutes ago and sent me the coldest glare when he realised I was sitting with Hufflepuffs— It's not irritate him though, I like Cedric's company. He has this homey feeling to him, a feeling of which I've never been quite habitual to, so I guess being around him makes me feel warm and loved; even if he doesn't love as a friend, he still conveys that feeling.

Unexpectedly, I feel someone's hand on my shoulder and lightly squeeze, I glance up and see Pansy smiling at me. "Enjoy detention?" I smirk, intentionally bringing it up to playfully annoy her. 

Pansy rolls her eyes, "Loved it."

I turn to Cedric, "I'll see you around." I say to him, getting up and ambling to the Slytherin table with Pansy.

From my change in location at the table, Astoria had taken my old seat and essentially drove Angel out since the girl despises her, then Ivy rapidly joined Angel who now sits with Pansy and I. It felt nice being away from Draco, normally I'd be opposite him during breakfasts and dinners, it only bothered me more so sitting away from him is doing me wonders. However, I do miss trying to discreetly tempt him, even though he never gave in. 

Astoria, ah, my favourite person in this school— we 'sorted' our issues all those weeks ago but Dumbledore leaving us in his office for an hour, and we bickered for the first thirty minutes before cooling down, then proceeded for another twenty minutes. I assure you, even if Headmaster thought it solved anything, I think it may of made problems worse— the girl kills me with kindness and I loathe it, she's seriously asking for it. 

But, alas, the past few weeks have been amazing and I hope the remainder of the first term is as well. 

⋆   
⋆

I actually really dislike time jumps, but it's necessary and I don't feel like writing about every single individual day— it'd get boring and repetitive, so time jumps are a must :)

please vote, it would mean a lot!! 

also, we're getting to the good bits ;)


	44. Chapter 44

20th of November and all the girls were chatting about some stupid dance or winter ball that was happening in December, that's weeks away? Don't they have anything more exciting to talk about? Clearly not. I wasn't excited for it, seems rather pointless to me but it's not my choice whether the dance continues or not. 

Two girls I let suck my dick have asked me if I was going, or if I wanted to go with them, and I swear girls get more delusional by the day— surely they'd know my intentions by now and realise it was only for fun, I get something out of it and so do they. But, I was not attending that dance with a date, too much effort honestly. Mostly, I'm going because I know Raven will, she's into dressing pretty and shit— which she always looks pretty, but she doesn't need to know that.

I've been teasing her for the past month, it's been rather eventful until I'd find her flirting with some random student she doesn't even know, it's as though she's treating me how I treat her and it's not annoying, just amusing. She's trying to hard, I warned her and said she'd never be able to find someone who can please her like me— and she clearly hasn't, considering the three times she's knocked on my door and been ignored, or I'd make a girl answer it for me, which was even more entertaining.

However, I want it just as bad as she does, I just want to see how long she can wait before she'll lose the reins and all control of herself. It seems interesting I guess, I'm not trying to irritate her, just build the tension to a point where's she begging on her knees for me, and that is a sight I won't be able to resist from— so until that happens, she's going to have to wait and so will I.

Unfortunately, Raven does it better than ever other girl and that's the annoying aspect of trying to keep her waiting, if I didn't have such good self control then I would've been the one at her dorm instead. Shame though, I can't wait to feel her again, she's ruined my expectations for girls in bed and I hate it— why did she hate to do that? Every single fucking time I had sex, I forced myself to imagine the girl was Raven and it's the only way I could finish, Raven is completely consuming me. She's like a drug and I need to hold off for a little longer, just until she snaps and then I'll destroy her.

I walk past Raven sitting with her pitiful Hufflepuff friends, which she's taken a liking to one of them; Cedric Diggory. Apparently it's only friends, but her and I were purely friends and look what fun we got up too— However Pansy assured me Raven and Cedric are just friends, then felt the need to tell me all about Raven.. which she relentlessly does now as she realised it bothered me.

Taking a seat at the Slytherin table, being completely thankful that Astoria wasn't attending dinner tonight so I won't be pestered by her. Blaise was here, but talking with Theo on how Slytherin was bound to win this first season of Quidditch, which I hope so. We hadn't lost one match throughout the entire three months, so I'm pretty confident we'll win this half term. Just wish father wasn't fucking there, he stresses me out and think too much, fogs my mind— but then I remember how I'd feel empathy from Raven if she saw the bruises of my failures, which made me focus again.

"Draco," I hear the voice of Pansy beside me, groaning when I peer up at her and she laughs in response. "I'd expect a nicer acknowledgment considering I'm fucking her for you."

I coldly glare at her, "You going to tell me all about it? again?"

Pansy smiles kindly, "Yes." She shuffled closer, but leaves a few inches of space between us. "You must miss how she feels." Pansy begins, I prop my elbows on the table and hide my face in my hands, barely enduring the first of her little talks with me.

"No." I reply bluntly, causing Pansy to giggle. 

"Don't you want to hear her moan your name instead of mine?" Pansy continues, and I sigh with the realisation that I have to bear this for the third time this month. "Or how wet she gets from your words alone?" 

Glaring at Pansy once more, she doesn't seem to be backing down at all. "Don't you miss the feeling of her touch, Draco? I know you'd love to know how confident she is now." Pansy smirks, and I roll my eyes at the black haired girl in annoyance. "Tough cookie to crack today, aren't you?"

I scoff, "Do you think Winters would approve of you talking about her like this? 

Pansy smiles, "No, she knows I do. Told me to continue actually." She shrugs, her smile being smug and full of pride— like usual. "Taught her a few things, she isn't mine Draco, you can fuck her if you'd like."

I grumble under my breath before standing up and storming out of the hall, Raven and I's eyes briefly meeting as I walk past her but I immediately tear them away from her and continue to the common rooms, hoping to find a girl on the way. 

⋆  
⋆


	45. Chapter 45

3rd of December, 12:52pm.

"What do you think Cho would like?!" Cedric bursts with nerves, the worry in his voice incredibly noticeable and makes to somewhat difficult for me to hide back a smile.

Another week, nearly two, had passed and Draco was practically a stranger, I suppose I should get used to this feeling though; it's how it should've felt since I started here, silly feelings never should of taken over my wise mind— it's there to think, ponder on decisions and ruminate if your judgement is sensible or even smart, not lay around being lazy and letting your heart take over; the heart is meant for pumping blood through your system, not pumping for a boy you stupidly caught feelings for.

Yes, I'm a shocked as you.

Raven Winters has fucking caught feelings for Draco Malfoy, again. 

I remember the first time I did, it feels like yesterday. Such good memories, times from when we were young adolescents and our minds had begun shitting themselves from the storm of hormones conquering our once stable systems, but we had been taken over by the wave of hormones and our minds couldn't properly judge our choices; leading to hazardous emotions of fondness towards one another. 

It's silly, I know, but it's all scientifically true. Proven that adolescents minds aren't fully developed to the ages of 21 for woman, and 25 for men, which is why boys are much careless and reckless I suppose. But Draco and I in the year of 1993, when he was going back to Hogwarts for his third year, we had completely came to terms that we liked one another— and I felt intimidated by it all. 

Summer of 1993, Malfoy Manor.  
— narrator POV

"Raven." The blond boy acknowledged the girl he takes a seat by, sitting with their backs against the trees bark. 

The tree was the further away in the garden of the Malfoy Manor, through the years it became their meeting spot and as well realised their friendship was forbid from their families morals.

A pureblood must marry a pureblood and halfbloods deserve scum like themselves.

The two of them had gathered that something was keeping them from hanging around near their parents and the girl knew, but couldn't tell the boy— he has such purist parents and god knows how he'll think of her when his father talks dirt on her, so she keeps quiet about her blood status. 

"Draco." The girl replied, her eyes fixated on the book she was reading— Outlander. She found it rather interesting, entranced by the main woman's love for two completely different men, she often wondered if she had to pick between two men after falling in love twice; but then again, that'll never happen and she knows it.

"What are you reading?" Draco asked her, peering over slightly to visibly see the words on the page.

Raven smiled at him, shuffling over and rested the side of her head on his shoulder, moving the book so he could read to. "It's romance, you won't like it." She joked, Draco snickered at her before laying his head upon hers.

They talked for a few minutes, never once felt awkward from being so close to one another; it had became so accustomed to them that they were totally comfortable with it all. 

"Draco," The chocolate haired girl begins, breaking the two minute silence of reading they had going. Draco merely hummed, implying he was listening. "I think I like you." She stated, gulping down the lump that formed in her throat.

Draco sighed, "Me too."

They felt peace at that moment, but they never would of known that it'd be ruined on the upcoming Christmas that year, nonetheless, they treasured this moment as though it was the last time they saw each other— but it was unknowingly their second last time together ever, for a few years at least.

Raven's POV (end of flashback)

It's all rather funny, I guess. We liked one another, never thought anything would tear us apart; but his fathers words had got to Draco and turned him against all wizards who weren't pureblood's, including me— but it changed after a month of me being at Hogwarts, only for it to be ruined from me letting him slip between my fingers; it's for the best though, it'll protect him and he can look for a pureblood girlfriend, not a half-blood that his family despises. 

"Do you know the colour of her dress?" I ask as we enter the boundaries of Hogsmeade, it's awfully freezing today so dressing in a tempting manner was out of the question— so I wore a grey, oversized hoodie that was fluffy on the inside, with plain black mom jeans and my converse. Thanks to Angel, I don't own much warm clothes, but what I was wearing did me favours; I felt warm and not cold, so it did its job.

"Blue." Cedric informs, shrugging while momentarily glancing at me. "She won't tell me much unfortunately."

I hum in thought, "Jewellery maybe? I don't know your budget though."

Cedric lightly chuckles, "There's no budget when it comes to her."

"Aww," I pout, to which he rolls his eyes in response, "Aren't you a cutie." 

"Yes, sure, whatever— wasn't your girlfriend coming with us?" He asks while we head towards the jewellery store in Hogsmeade, I blush from his words and peer at the floor.

Sometimes it bewildered me when people would talk about Pansy to me, they always called her my 'girlfriend' and it made me realise that her and I were still pretend dating-ish. After the random Ravenclaw boy and Blaise, I felt somewhat guilty even though she couldn't give one care about it, which was honestly strange to me— but, it caused me to become anxious that someone would open their gossiping mouth and a cheating scandal about me might cloud over the school. 

Thankfully, the Ravenclaw boy kept his mouth quiet because he's 'in love with me' and Blaise was silent about everything because of obvious reasons; He's Draco's friend, him being a pureblood— all that. Plus, Blaise didn't want anyone knowing despite how thrilled he seemed to have slept with me, which is fortunate.

"Uhm— yeah, she's meeting us later." I reply, we reach the door of the jewellery store and I step in front of Cedric to open it, but he immediately stops me by swiftly grasping the handle before.

"Ladies first." Cedric smiles, twisting the door handle and opening it towards us. I sweetly smile back, ambling into the warmly heated store.

The shops relatively small, a few exquisite items in the windows of the store that looked extremely expensive and something that appeared in my wildest dreams. Necklaces that glistens in the light, luxurious diamonds and gems surrounding the entirety of the necklace. Rings of silver and golds bands with big, deluxe jewels on them— all so very recherché. I had never owned such pricey items, only borrowing Vesper's jewellery that our parents buy her every special event. 

I become accustomed to this though, that being not receiving invaluable and premium items as gifts or not at all for that matter. Supposedly, it's rather sad but since I'm so familiar with it all, having possession of such divine things overwhelms me so I guess doing without them is working quite well for me.

Cedric enters in after me and instantly heads towards the jewellery store owner, who was behind the glass counter in the centre, but I decide to view the right side display cases with intentions of looking at the left cases as well. I wander to the two metres of glass encased jewellery, leaning on the edge of the glass counter as I take a closer look at the back pieces. 

While Cedric talks to the owner, I enthral my eyes upon practically all of the sparkling gems; this jewellery business is small, just like every other store in Hogsmeade, and is run by this old man who has a passion for making ravish items— and he's quite successful seeing as his business has grown so much since Vesper took me here, which was a few years ago. There's even a sign saying he now offers personalised jewellery, meaning you can get exactly what you want, so that's new since I've been here.

My eyes always seem to dart to the most expensive items, causing me to smile at myself from how I actually do appear to have a rather dangerous taste for costly and opulent things, which I thought I hadn't; but clearly my mind deceives me and adores pricey items.

I finish examining the twinkling necklaces, bracelets, rings and much more, then I'm met with the sound of Cedric softly calling me over. Turning around on my heel, I saunter towards Cedric from the left glass cases and stand beside him. "Yes?" I ask, raising my eyebrows.

"I found two that I think she'll like, can you give me some girl advice?" Cedric questions, causing me to lightly giggle. The owner holds two gorgeous necklaces in the palm of his wrinkly hands, with the blue diamonds flatly across to show it off more. In awe, I fixate my eyes upon the left necklace, which is a beautiful sterling silver with two light blue diamond pendant's. It's beautiful, and the sapphire size is just perfect as well.

Darting my gaze to the second necklace, the necklace itself is a shiny gold, which is different to the first one, and the jewel is resembling a tiny daisy. Five, small sapphires surround a single diamond to create the daisy shape. The necklace is quite dainty, but it's definitely subtle in a good way. "Wow, Diggory, you have good taste in jewellery." I say impressed, slightly nudging him with my elbow playfully. Warmly chuckles escape his lips, his blue eyes on mine as he edges me to assist him. "I like the second one more, it looks like it'd suit Cho— from the way you talk about her and all that." I admit, fixating my eyes on the tiny daisy once more.

"I agree, this is the one I had personalised— but I stupidly had second thoughts, I like that one more too." Cedric beams, his eyes on the owner once more as he nods in affirmation, I wander away as the price tag didn't need to be announced to me as well. 

Eventually, Cedric and I finish buying Cho Chang a few things, which was mostly the necklace and her favourite lolly, that I was too distracted by the various sweets in Honeydukes to even notice Cedric buy it. However, I'm sure of whatever he got her, she'll love. 

We met up with Pansy, and after an hour Cedric headed back up to Hogwarts in preparation to ask Cho to the winter dance, which was really cute to see how excited and eager he was. 

Pansy and I had just walked into a dress shop, both being curious of the dresses either though we weren't planning on buying anything— I didn't have any money anyways though, so I can't unfortunately even if I do find a nice dress. 

I linger beside Pansy, my hand caught in hers as her other skims through the racks of dresses. We had gotten a few stares from our holding hands, but we both brushed it away as it's only to convince students and we don't entirely care of other's opinions anyway. Pansy halts in her motion of flicking through the dresses, a gasp leaving her lips from the gorgeous dress. 

It's fully white, the material glowing from the sun rays beaming off the silky fabric and causing it to glint even more. Tiny straps kept the dress on the wooden clothes hanger, creating the ruching at the front to be noticeable. It's truly beautiful. 

Surprisingly, Pansy and I hadn't even talked nor planned about attending this winter wonderland dance on the fifteenth of December, I suppose assignments and study have endlessly been on my mind and giving me no time to myself at all, not even much time with Pansy either. So, the topic never came up since I found out about it, even though I'd quite like to go; but it's awkward going by yourself. 

What if I asked Pansy? no, that's weird. 

No it's not, it's fine.

"Hey Pansy—" I start, but she instantly cuts me off by blurting something out.

"Would you like to go to the dance with me?" Pansy turns around from gazing at the dress, a joyful grin that causes her dimples to show on her tan cheeks. 

I smile in adoration, "I was about to ask the same thing." We crack into laughter, Pansy squeezes my hand tightly from our surging laughs.

"I'm not letting you be the man in this relationship, girlfriend." She chirps, giving my hand a single squeeze and I roll my eyes while smiling at her excitedly. "Now, since we're going, dress time."

"Think you've found yours." I shrug, peering at the white dress she had stopped on.

Pansy scoffs, "I could not pull that off." 

I snicker from her negativity, "Yes, you could." Pansy glances at the dress, then at me in hesitation, before fixating her eyes across the silky dress once more. She hums in thought, trailing her hazel eyes up and down the entirety of the dress.

"Can I pick your dress?" Pansy eagerly swivels to face me again, her whole expression beaming with excitement.

"Go on." I smile playfully, Pansy grins before taking her dress off the clothes hanger and marching to the dressing room as though she were on a mission. She comes back to my side again, but rapidly leaves as she begins scanning over the copious dresses and gowns in the store. As she looks herself, I take a seat on the cushioned benches between the four changing rooms and wait for Pansy to return. 

Roughly five minutes pass, Pansy rushes towards me with three dresses in hand and a grin on her face. "They look pricey." I admit, raising an eyebrow at the girl who's smile was practically glued on her face. 

"And? I'll pay." Pansy shrugs, drawing the curtain back from the changing room and placing my three dresses on the opposite hook of Pansy's sole dress. "Don't complain, lovey." 

I close my mouth, stopping myself from spurting the complains and protests. "Thank you, Pansy." I say instead of arguing, which is something I've seemed to have to get used to and it's quite strange.

"Okay! Good." She beams, "Tell me what you think." Then rushes into the changing room and draws the black curtain over.

Barely a few minutes pass, the curtain is drawn back and Pansy steps from the room. I smile with awe at Pansy, the dress looks sensational on her, in a way it appeared that it had been made just for her. It cinches at her body in all the right places, the slight tightness around the chest area keeps her breasts in place with her void bra, and is a perfect length on her. "Stop staring." Pansy whines, concealing back her resisting smile, "What do you think?"

"You look fucking amazing." I disclose, Pansy steps towards me and stands adjacent to where I sat, then leans down and plants a soft kiss on my lips. 

If I'm honest, I'm not really sure what Pansy and I are. Our kissing, holding hands and flirting in public has became so habitual to us that we unintentionally do it now, without being nervous or awkward either; it's all rather weird. I like Pansy, only friends way presently but I feel a little more for her, it's just confusing. She's wonderful, incredibly kind and the sex is well astounding, but Draco still haunts my mind and I think Pansy knows that; which is why we haven't gone further and tried to explain feelings or what not, because of Draco and I'd weird friendship.

"Aww," Pansy pouts, her hands contacting with the sides of my face gently and tucking my hair behind my ears. "Thank you, Ray."

I smile, "No problem, are you getting it?"

Pansy nods, "Of course, it's your turn.." With a spin on her heel, she descends into the changing room.

Quickly, she exits with her dress in hand and sits beside me, her grin wider than ever. I huff, preparing myself to hate absolutely every aspect of my body in such pricey and flawless looking dresses. Alongside never wearing costly jewellery, gorgeous gowns and pretty clothes weren't given to me either— at wealthy families events and balls, I wore the most simple clothes that you would presume I'm a muggle or not of wealth, seeing as jeans and shirts was all I wore to them; it's embarrassing, I know.

Entering the changing room, I haul the curtain over and glance at the first dress on the hook. It's a pretty rose pink that drapes to the floor with a slit down the side, seeming quite promiscuous and alluring in my opinion. I change out of my jeans and jumper into the elegant floor length dress, turning in the mirror to get the angles and strangely I don't hate myself in it— I actually suit the costly appearance, appearing like the true pureblood I wished to be.

As I step out of the small room, Pansy's eyes widen and she claps while I give her a little twirl. "Very cute, next one." Pansy beams and I return to the dressing room. 

Swapping from the elegant pink dress to the second, which is a caliginous black fabric with sparkles throughout the entire gown. It splayed out more than the first, causing my hips to appear slightly wider and waist smaller— this dress is also absolutely ravishing. I show the dress to Pansy, to which she has the same reaction to the first and ushers to back to try to final one.

My eyes widen at the price tag, which I sillily decided to look at before even trying it on, but hopefully it looks unflattering on my body. This gown is a subtle beige colour, the corset top is bedazzled with sequins in the shape of stars that are colours of blue and gold. The skirt is scattered with the blue and gold star sequins as well, a mesh like material that flowed out and narrowly trailed on the floor. Warily, I face away from the mirror as I slip the gown on and zip the corset top up. Exhaling deeply and turning around, I quietly gasp from how enchanting it truly is.

Hauling the curtain back, Pansy immediately stands from the mere sight of me as I stepped out. Her eyes widen, lips ajar and no sounds uttering for her while she takes in my appearance. "You look like a princess." Pansy bursts with glee, softly clasping the tips of my fingers in hers and drawing me more out into the open. Her eyes examine me fully as she walks around my presence in a whole circle, the huge smile never once left her face.

"It's pricey.." I hesitate and Pansy instantly hushes me, giving me once last look up and down before clapping eagerly.

"We have a winner." Pansy chirps, "You have no say, I know you love it."

I roll my eyes, "It is pretty."

Pansy scoffs, "Only you can pull something off like this, it's heavenly on you."

"Aww stop." My ivory cheeks grow accompanied by a vague pinky hue, causing Pansy to smile even more. "Thank you so much."

"My pleasure, Ray." She smiles while her index finger traced over my collarbone. 

⋆   
⋆


	46. Chapter 46

7th of December, Saturday

Having assignments due on the Saturday lays on a narrow margin of evil and good; evil because it's a weekend and I am certain students would rather be doing something entertaining, but good as you don't need to embarrass yourself in class nor rush it during other classes— so it's nice and bad honestly, probably leaned towards horrible for most students though.

It's around a week until the dance and it's a main topic of talk at the moment, the halls are filled with excited girls who relentlessly squeal and boys who are searching for a date frantically. If I'm evilly truthful, it's satisfactorily entertaining to watch some boys get either turned down or earn a hug in affirmation, both are amusing to watch— it's either the look of despair from being rejected or shock from the girl approving their asking. It also seems that the ratio girl to boy is essentially 1:2, so there's a somewhat war over girls is doubly entertaining to observe unfold. 

Boys right and left were asking any girl in sight, even if they didn't like them or know them for that matter, but they still asked them regardless. I suppose it made things worse that some girls were going with their friends, however some boys would be accepted and forced to linger with the girls group the entire night— so a few boys are relatively upset about that.

This minute I'm ambling to the Great Hall after handing in my Potions assignment to Professor Slughorn. Unfortunately, but obviously, the class didn't have enough time to brew our potion of choice so we're doing it tomorrow, which is a Sunday. Like I said, it's a narrow margin between evil and good, but it's undoubtedly evil this time. We have all of next week, but Professor Slughorn insisted it be done tomorrow so he could immediately begin marking— he should of thought of that before assigning the task practically two months into term. 

With my eyes enthralled on the words of the novel I was reading, which is surprisingly a romance with a little steam, it's nothing too crazy but it does have all chapters filled with interesting scenes. Actually, it's very crazy. Chapters are short stories about affairs, people into S&M, prostitutes, drug users, struggling artists so it's a pretty wild read. The books called 'Bad Behaviour' and that definitely may seem skeptical to students that manage to view the cover, but hopefully they don't. If I'm honest, it's not the best novel I've ever read but it's especially interesting, so that's why I continue reading it. (A/N; this book is real btw, published in 1988 and I have read it, rather interesting to say the least)

Only a few steps from the Great Hall, I'm stopped in my tracks by an unexpected body— Harry Potter. I furrow my eyebrows at him, keeping the book open as he most definitely didn't need to see the title or the cover, the words don't make it clear to what I'm reading thankfully. Gulping, I stare at him for a second or two before speaking up, "May I help you?" I question with confusion, his silence and awkward standing causing me to become more puzzled by the millisecond.

"Uh— Raven, I was wondering if you were going with the dance and if you've got a date yet." Harry nervously asks, scratching the back of his neck and his green eyes on mine in hope. Ah, damn. "I've been too scared to ask you."

"Salute you for your confidence, but I'm going with Pansy." I halfheartedly smile, looking at him with sympathy and guilt since he was unfortunately too late. 

However, this was somewhat strange that he asked me to the dance. Harry and I have talked a mere three words between each time I see him, those being hello's or awkward how are you's or even a vague nod, so I'm baffled as to why he's asked me. Maybe he has a secret crush or something, whatever it is I probably will never know from our lack of conversations.

"Oh—" Harry sighs, "Brilliant, I'm happy for you." He then chirps, displaying a friendly smile and completely swapping his mood from disheartened to gleeful.

"Thank you," I glance at the floor awkwardly, "Having trouble finding a date so I became your last resort?" I joke, peering up to meet his green eyes again in hopes that my harmless ridicule took away the compromising tension.

Harry clears his throat, "Actually your the first girl I've asked.."

I blink blankly at a loss for words, where Harry plainly smiles disconcertingly at me. "Well— may I ask why?" I quiz, curious of knowing his answer that I thought I wouldn't ever obtain.

"Thought it'd be a good way to start talking." He admits, shrugging and pressing his lips into a firm line.

"I apologise, hope you find someone though." I say, praying for this awkward encounter to soon end, "Must give you good luck though, competitions tough." 

Harry nods, then briskly walks past me without another word muttered. I sigh in relief, then proceed to the Great Hall after being strangely halted by Harry. 

As I walk into the hall, the charmed ceiling is a galaxy of clustered stars with swirls of purples, blues and whites that the stars overlapped over— it's been a while since the ceiling was this pretty for a nighttime. Peering around the room, I notice Cedric sitting with Cho Chang and happily smiling with her. 

Cedric had asked her to the dance and apparently, according to the words that Cho spread around to her friends, it was better than she could ever of wished for. Every time I saw her, my eyes would dart down to the dainty necklace that Cedric gifted her with and it fills me with glee, they seemed so happy together.

flashback to 5th of December  
— day after Hogsmeade

"Cedric!! How was it?" I asked as I sat beside him, instantly headed to his table when I entered the hall from the anticipation to know the result. 

He smiled, a huge cheesy grin, and his cheeks blushed a pink hue. "She's just so perfect, Ray." Cedric beamed, then took a bite of his dinner. "Instead of the lake, I took her to this secret spot on a hill and we watched the sunset."

"Aw, do tell more." I essentially bounced in my seat, eager to know the rest.

Cedric blushed even more, if that was possible, "Well, I started by passing the box to her, then as she opened it I asked if she wanted to go to the dance." He took a sip of water, then cleared his throat. "Cho said yes, then we kissed." His face flushed redder than ever.

"That's so cute, Cedric." I nudged him with my shoulder, to which he blushed a crimson red. "Aww, look at you, in love."

"Cho is utterly amazing, you have no idea." Cedric sighed, clearly thinking about the girl.

I giggled, "I think I do."

Cedric nudged me, making me giggle more. "Thank you for helping me, she loved the necklace and without you I probably wouldn't overthought it." 

"That's okay, I'm glad I was helpful." I grin, then playfully ruffle his hair with my hand. 

end of flashback

It's incredibly cute, even if Pansy's asking to the dance was abrupt and in the most random place, I found it cute and couldn't of asked for anything better. Being asked to a dance in a dress store isn't that bad, especially when your date buys your dress for you even though it was 332 Galleons($1600). So, I guess that's my asking out gift and I adore it, therefore I'm over joyed with it all. Honestly, that type of scenario is something I'd never thought happen.

Truthfully, I came to Hogwarts with the intents and purpose of sticking with focusing on my education; not being forced through something traumatic, which induced Draco and I to become narrowly close again, nor be acquainted with various drugs or even have sex over and above that. Alas, it all happened in a mere four months and I am actually glad for every aspect of it. Notwithstanding the fact that I had to endure pain and agony for such blissful events to occur, which would of been nice if I didn't have to experience those moments but it lead to my present self.

I suppose I'm confident now, at times it scares me and I worry myself to the point I disgustingly puke, seeing as I am so up front and social, it's just overwhelming. But, the pros power over my cons, Vesper's so proud of me, I've gained quite a lot of attention from boys and girls, which still doesn't sit very well with me, but I like it at the same time. I've never had such attention before, it's exciting and feels so new. Plus, I'm comfortable and feel safe with my body now, I know I'm in control of the situation and can stop whenever I want— which helps so much more in being spontaneous.

Glancing at the Slytherin table, I note that Pansy isn't here, nor is Angel and Ivy, and there's no way in hell that I am sitting there by myself; I'll either get bombarded by Astoria's killing kindness or gawks by the teenage boys of Slytherin that heard the ordeal of Pansy and I's first ever fuck, and neither I am in the mood for. Suddenly, I hear my name being called, a soft girls voice that didn't sound too far away. Peering around, spotting Hermione waving me over with a joyful grin, I smile back while I start wandering towards her.

"Evening, Ray." Hermione bubbles, closing the book that she was reading as I take a seat beside her. 

"Evening." I reply back, my book shut and the cover faced down on my lap. 

Granted that Hermione actually recommended this book, I still feel rather awkward and not entirely freely candid with the fact that I'm reading erotica while in the vicinity of students, as well as in the castles walls; all rather absurd and definitely embarrassing if one to find out what I have been reading, excessively too, the book's interesting— I wasn't lying.

"I heard Harry talking with Ron a few minutes ago about asking you to the dance, has he?" She asks happily, ignoring the glare that Ron shot at her from disclosing the little conversation she overheard. 

"Oh.. um— he asked me not even a minute or two ago, I had to decline as I'm going with Pansy." I confess, smiling awkwardly.

Hermione frowns, "That's a shame, so you two are actually together?" 

I twist my lips to the left in thought, "You're aware of the whole situation, right?" I question, raising my eyebrows to indicate what I'm saying. Hermione thinks for a second, then nods in understanding. "It's confusing at the moment, there's a few reasons we haven't talked about it or our feelings, I guess that's why it's so baffling."

"Can I ask what the reasons are?" Hermione wonders, tilting her head slightly in question. 

I sigh, "Swear you won't tell?"

"I swear." She smiles in reassurance. I haven't been good friends with Hermione since the incident where I entered her dorm looking like a beaten mess, but I guess we're just friends. We talk in charms a lot, about books mainly, sometimes other topics. I would occasionally attend her little group sleepover on Friday's, where we'd converse there. Nonetheless, I still trust her even if we aren't best-friends, she doesn't tell others about secrets or broadcast my business to the entire hall— so she's truth-worthy.

"The reason is mostly about Draco," I whisper, leaning closer to Hermione so only she would hear. "We had a thing, as you know, and it stopped because I felt myself feeling for him."

Hermione furrows her brows, "You like Malfoy?" She murmurs back, and I shrug in response.

"I don't know, that's the thing. Pansy and I act as though we're actually dating, and it feels like we are— but fucking Draco's always at the back of my mind." I groan in annoyance, glancing at Hermione with a plea of help in my eyes.

"Shuffle down a little." She says quietly, I shuffle along the bench to where there was about a metre between me and student, and the same with Hermione. "What about an open relationship?"

"Isn't it already that?" I bite the inside of my cheek in thought, chewing lightly while Hermione works up an answer. Knowing her, Hermione's straightforwardness and Gryffindor thinking, I'm bound to receive a plain and simple answer. 

"Well, not really." She begins, shrugging vaguely. "You and Parkinson are still acting, what if you talked about your feelings then mention the open relationship?" 

"Hmm." I think on her words, ruminating thoroughly. It's a good idea, nothing can really go wrong unless Pansy likes me and doesn't want to continue an open relationship sort of thing, other than that everything will go smoothly... I hope. "That's an alright idea, but what if she wants the open relationship side of things to stop?"

Hermione's lips purse in thought, "Do you like her?"

Do I? Sort of.

I shrug, "I suppose."

"Would you actually want to date her though? Does she treat you well?" She asks further.

"Maybe, and yes." I quickly reply.

Hermione grins, "Your quick answers seem to be assisting you with your confusion."

I knit my eyebrows, "How? What do you mean?"

"You're not thinking about the answer, so you clearly know how you feel." Hermione admits, her hand contacts with my shoulder and she squeezes softly. "Take a shot in the dark, Ray. If things go wrong, you and Parkinson are close enough to remain friends."

"You're right." I smile, happy that Hermione actually helped me understand my feelings. "So I ask her tonight?"

Hermione nods, "Better now than ever." 

"Thank you!" I kiss her cheek, not entirely focusing on her reaction from my eagerness to find Pansy, then I swiftly stand up and wander out of the Great Hall with my book held against my chest; with the cover hidden, of course. 

I had a clear idea of where Pansy was, she'd be at her dorm smoking, handing in the assignments that are due in an hour or frantically finishing it, you don't really know what to expect with Pansy if I'm completely frank.

Checking the Potions room, I see Angel and Ivy, but no Pansy, which means she's probably at her dorm. 

Hastily arriving at the Slytherin common room, considering Potions classroom is in the dungeons as well, I take note on how lovely and quite the common room— possibly from the students finishing their essays and evidently dinner, it's finally peaceful in this room. Sauntering to Pansy's dorm, I take a deep breath and tap my knuckles against the wooden door. 

Soon enough, the door opens but Pansy wasn't behind as it opened. I enter, immediately seeing her with a joint in her left hand and a quill in the other. Pansy's on her bed, back leaning against the headboard with a parchment and ashtray in front of her. "Hey." Pansy greets smiling, nodding me over as the charm on the door causes it to shut behind me. 

Ambling towards her, I slide my converse off and position them on the floor beside the black velvet ottoman at the end of her bed. I crawl onto the bed and sit adjacent to her, crossing my legs and smiling with curiosity at her. "Looking quite busy here." I giggle, taking in her frantic expression and a burned out joint filter in the ashtray, as well as the whites of her eyes had changed to a faint red from the muggle herb.

"I finally finished the potions." Pansy sighs in relief, passing me a fresh joint that was on her nightstand. 

"You sure?" I knit my brows, questioning her judgement on giving me a rather large joint; around three inches of packed bud. Pansy rolled her joints as though she had no lungs, also in a way that her tolerance was soaring higher than the clouds, which is silly considering she's the biggest lightweight, but it's funny either way. Nonetheless, one of her joints is lethal, thankfully the one I had just been given is a smaller one compared to her past joints.

Pansy nods, extending her arm further and waving her hand in the air, urging me to take it. I roll my eyes, situating it between my index and middle. Picking up the lighter that's beside the ashtray, I pop the joint amidst my lips and flip back the lid of the metal lighter. I press my thumb over the ignition trigger, a warm flame of orange bursts into sight and I lift the flame to the tip of the joint, where the excess paper had been rolled into a spike. The excess paper enflames, spreading down to the herb as I inhale deeply. 

Exhaling the milky smoke, the sweet taste of the bud hitting my tastebuds as it escapes my lungs and mouth. "You should've asked for help, I'd help you finish it." I inform, leaning back on one hand and glancing at Pansy with sincerity. 

Pansy scoffs, "Ray, you do too much. I did it well, just forgot about a tiny section." She reassures, and I nod in reply. "Anyway, what brings you here? Weren't you hanging out with Cedric at dinner today?" 

"He was with Cho, but I did sit with Hermione for a little white." I unveil, slightly anxious to start this conversation.

I watch as the smoke escapes Pansy's mouth, coming out in a straight line from her lips in an O shape. "Ooo, what'd you talk about?" Pansy asks with inquisition and interest, picking up the single parchment and placing it atop the others that were on the bed space beside her. 

"Um... well... about us." I warily inform, her face lighting up with excitement. "You look scarily happy." 

Pansy rolls her eyes playfully, "I've had a little chat with her too."

I furrow my brows in shock, "You and Hermione are friends?"

She shakes her head side to side, indicating no. "Granger's a girl I go to for advice, you know?" 

"Yeah, I got you." I nod, "What did you talk to her about?"

"Same thing." She shrugs, "It's good right? cus' mines good."

I smile, "Mines good too." Inhaling the smoke for a few seconds, I hold it before releasing it into the air of her dorm and tilting my head up, watching as the dense smoke dances slowly then dwindles to nothingness. "I believe, we should talk about our feelings then go on from that."

"I agree, that's what I wanted to talk about to." Pansy admits, taking a drag from her joint and now being halfway through with hers. "Granger probably told you the same as you, her funny Gryffindor answer that's so straightforward." 

Giggling softly, I nod. "It was."

"I'll start, okay?" Pansy exhales the smoke, I smile and nod in understanding. "So, Ray, I actually really like you, it sounds really cheesy and cringe out loud but I do." She begins while I take a longer pull of the joint, it now burning up to halfway. "I know we act like we're dating, and it seems so real... Um— that's all I got." 

Inhaling once more for a few seconds, sharply double inhaling and feeling the smoke fill my lungs. As I sigh, the smoke leaves my mouth and a little escapes out of my nostrils. "I feel the same way, it's just Draco blocking everything and confusing me." I start, taking a lighter draw of the joint before I proceed to take again. "It does seem real, we're like so accustomed with it. So, I was thinking if we gave it a real shot?" 

Pansy grins widely, her dimples noticeable than ever from her huge smile. "Yes! We definitely should." She picks up the ashtray and places it to the side of her, then pats her lap. I smile, carefully crawling over to her while being mindful of her assignment and ashtray, then I turn around and lay down, resting my head on her abdomen and laying between her legs. "What about the whole— I don't know what to call it— the rule on getting with other people?"

"Um— maybe keep it allowed for a little while and if we don't even end up getting with others, we'll get rid of it?" I shrug, inhaling deeply. 

"Good idea." Pansy begins to rake her fingers through my hair, the sensation soothes me and mixes with the muggle herb incredibly well. 

I'm excited for this, I really hope it words— the way it'll go to shit is if I get with Draco, which I've actually managed to accomplish and I barely pay attention to his teasing anymore— despite it still causes goosebumps to form and chills to run up my spine, I need to resist from reacting as it's exactly what he's looking for.

Maybe if he notices I'm with Pansy that he'll back down, then we will be just acquaintances again? That's the safest option honestly. 

⋆   
⋆


	47. Chapter 47

8th of December, Sunday

Potions, the time has come and it's time to complete our Potions assignment. Considering Professor Slughorn was rather silly in deciding on when to apply our minds to begin on the task, being far too late into term, it seems to have caught up with his students as well— so now, we all have to complete the practice observation section of the assignment so Professor can mark the finalised work and not semi-finished. 

Usually, I wouldn't wholly care about having to do this, but everything is impossible when Draco is around and he's in my group for Potions. Alas, I'm with Pansy now and our agreement was that if we don't fuck anyone for through from now to end of January, and if we're still going strong after the holidays, we'll get rid of the open relationship thing we have going on. What this means is that I don't really need Draco anymore, even though I still crave him every single minute of the day, I have to restrain myself and think of Pansy.

She's trying, so I'll try as well.

"Thank you, class, thank you," Professor Slughorn says while he stands in the front of the class, "I know you'd all rather be anywhere but in a lesson, however this is a practical so it'll be much fun." 

Professor Slughorn discusses safety for around five minutes, then allows students to begin brewing their potions from the choice of three; Amortentia, Felix Felicis and Veritaserum. I suppose Slughorn is somewhat right, this might be a bearable lesson seeing as it's brewing potions— it's the best part of Potions class anyway. 

Angel had gone to get the ingredients, viciously leaving me with Draco— but he's presently napping, like he always is, and I hope he remains napping. He'll attain an Outstanding on his assignment whether he pays attention or not, he always seems to get full, perfect marks although he sleeps through majority of the classes, which is incredibly strange. 

There's nothing more peaceful in this world than Draco sleeping, it's comparable to a sleeping kitten. So serene, cute and makes you want to cuddle up with them— but when they awaken, they become evil spawns of Satan; just like Draco, except he's unfortunately cute. Like always, his lips were slightly parted and his eyes softly closed. No tension is visible and his features all calmed, not tensed with furrowed brows or a piercing glare, only and simply tranquility. 

Oh, how I wish it was easy for us to be together.

Alas, I'm with Pansy and I heard he's especially fond of this girl who I've never heard of Layla Murdock. A Slytherin apparently, that I found odd as I have literally never heard such name uttered in that common room, but I'll get my answers after I complete brewing and writing down observations; which Professor Slughorn informed it can be dot points, not full essay form so that's alleviating.

"Okay, I got everything." Angel says, stumbling towards us with arms full of ingredients. I sigh, then begin taking the items off her quickly and placing them on the area beside the cauldron to ensure they were safe incase she accidentally dropped them, and I am in no mood to clean up a mess today. "Are we waking him?" Angel asks, positioning the items she had held of with her hands upon the desk and her green eyes fixated on sleeping beauty.

"Leave him." I murmur quietly to Angel's ear, hoping that Draco wouldn't hear and magically wake up to slander me about something to do with wanting him to sleep.

'Do you like watching me sleep, Winters?' I can practically hear his voice in my head, like I know what he'd say. 

Angel nods in agreement, then we begin the potion. 

Amortentia, as well as the other two potions, actually take over a day to brew— so Professor Slughorn charmed the ingredients to work faster, which means we have to be more precise and careful to establish that no explosions or even death occurs, because you never know. And, I guess, brewing a potion in three hours when it's meant to take over a day, there's a disaster unequivocally soon to happen, it's essentially doomed. Hopefully though, the class being Slytherin and Ravenclaw, we use our intelligence to be sensible and smart— not childish and asking for your potion to explode in your face. 

"In a medium sized cauldron begin melting the glacial ice over a low flame," Angel begins reading the instructions from the recipe we had to modify, since we have three hours to brew and not days, so resting times needed to be fastened and shortened to the compensate to the enhancing charm that Professor Slughorn implemented. "If the ice cracks during the melting process, you must throw potion out and restart."

Placing the glacial sea water ice block into the cauldron, the sight of the charm instantly becomes visible as the ice begins melting swiftly and I cross my fingers in hopes that the quickness doesn't make it crack. "While waiting, prepare the five vanilla beans." Angel announces to me, and we both start preparing the vanilla beans. "This will be a fast brew." She jokes, I nod in agreement. Angel takes three of the beans, whereas I take too. "Add pulp every four and a half minutes, but ours is shortened to thirty seconds."

"Holy moly." I huff, a slight laughter escaping with it. "This is like a speed run for fucking potions." Angel laughs in response, and we quickly proceed.

Hastily, we slice the vanilla beans lengthwise. Scraping the pulp from the inside of the bean, then adding one bean's pulp to the melting ice every thirty seconds. I watch the clock while Angel adds the pulp, our system working quite well. 

Roughly thirty minutes pass, a very lengthy time wait was twenty four hours and it was shortened to about ten minutes, which took most of our time. Angel and I had taken a quick look at the recipe list, realising that we were practically at the easy stage of Amortentia and we might be allowed to leave class earlier, that would be utterly amazing honestly. "Take all of the seeds from the pomegranate and squeeze the juice of each, one by one, into the cauldron." Angel says after the ten minutes is over, "Don't let any seeds fall in, it will ruin the potion."

I nod, then begin squeezing the juice from the copious amount of seeds in the large pomegranate. After numerous seed popping and juicing, I eventually finish it and Angel decides to do the next task. I pick up with recipe parchment, reading the instructions out to Angel. "Once all seeds juices are added, reduce heat by half and slowly stir to stop all boiling." I inform, and Angel does just that.

Suddenly, we hear a yawn from the opposite side of the desk, and it seems that sleepy beauty has finally awoken from their slumber, suppose it's unfortunate that the air kissed him and not a princess or his lover Layla Murdock. I watch as Draco gently rubs his eyes with the palms of his hands, then lazily rests his elbow on the wooden table and props his chin up on his hand, the silver gaze of his viewing Angel and I intensely.

"Good morning." I joke, glancing over at him one final time before fixating my eyes upon the cauldron, keeping the area that I'm in guaranteed of no disasters and explosions, considering my tired mind can not deal with it today.

"Thanks for actually letting me sleep." Draco says huskily, his voice alone sends shivers up my spine and I sigh to relieve myself of those feelings, which they fortunately recede and I quickly compose myself. 

"You are welcome." I reply, briefly peering up and smiling before moving my focus to the recipe again. "Now add the moonberry, rose oil, and belladonna mixture from earlier." I instruct Angel, who immediately adds the moonberry, hastily followed by the rose oil and belladonna mixture with ease and efficiency. 

"Can I do another step?" Angel asks, her forest green eyes appear like puppies begging stares and it makes it implausible to ignore or say no too. 

"Of course." I smile, willingly giving her another step, that I'm rather happy about. My arm hurts from stirring so much, holding paper and reading instructions is much more interesting and fun. "The final portion of the preparation is to drop the pearl into the pot, it should dissolve instantly." I notify, Angel retrieves the pearl and waits for the further steps. "Last time stirring, stir clockwise and then counter clockwise. And it should be done." 

Angel drops the pearl into the concoction and it indeed immediately dissolves. Waiting a second or two, Angel then advances to stir the potion correctly; stirring clockwise, then counter clockwise. Angel places the large metal spoon safely upon a hand towel on the desk, then her hands shoots up and we wait for Professor Slughorn to make his way over. 

When I glance around the room, I spot Slughorn nod towards us and excitedly wavers between strident and desks to reach us. Draco takes this a good time to appear as though he cooperated by moving up the desk to the spare seat beside me, situating his book in front of him and holding his quill in hand. I sigh, jotting down some observations that I hadn't yet written, swivelling my notebook to the side and allowing Draco to read my notes— which I don't really mind, he'll pass the subject either way so there's no harm.

Professor Slughorn reaches our desk, immediately standing in front of the potion and inspecting it thoroughly, he leans in a takes a deep inhale through his nose and exhales in satisfaction. "Well done!! Very well done indeed! Begin writing your observations, then you may hand it in and enjoy your Sunday." Professor Slughorn congratulates us with an individual glance and smile to us three, informing us briefly before heading towards another group, who had their hands flying in the air frantically. 

Thankfully, Slughorn came to their rescue before the classroom would be coated in an ongoing concoction of a Felix Felicis potion, at least that's what I'm amusing would happen— since most potions seem to explode when failed. However, it wouldn't of been my problem anyway, seeing as us three can leave after we conclude our observations.

I take a seat in my typical spot, which is now unfortunately resided with Draco beside me, nonetheless I am certain I'll be able to tolerate him; it's became rather easy if I'm quite frank, you just bluntly reply or agree with him and he'll be endurable. Noticing that Draco had written majority of what I wrote down, I turn my notebook without a difficult protest from Draco. 

Rather quickly, I start jotting information about the effects of each ingredient, aspect and stir motion used for the potion as well as adding how the effects were fastened from the time stamp and charm on ingredients. Writing even more on the colours it had morphed into, alongside the scent before the finalised product (which I am yet to smell). Adding as much as possible, explaining it in a defined way to maintain my expectations from Professors up for continuing N.E.W.Ts, seeing if I had to drop down to O.W.Ls it would essentially destroy any chance of proving myself to my parents.

"Should we smell?" Angel says from the opposite side of the desk, sitting adjacent to me. I nod, jotting down the words 'What I smelled in the Amortentia:' before standing up from my chair and meeting Angel beside the cauldron. Draco soon stands and saunters towards us, standing weirdly close behind us and his height towering above as he glances down, seemingly waiting for us so he can smell it himself.

"Go on then, Angel." Nudging Angel's shoulder playfully, she responds by chuckling and nodding, I peer at her eagerly to know what she smells.

Angel tilts forward, her face barely a half a foot away from the cauldrons contents while she inhales deeply. I view her eyes widen, I'm not sure if it was surprise, shock or excitement honestly. "What?" I ask in curiosity, Angel turns to me with a huge smile. 

"I'll tell you what I smelled after your turn." Angel chirps, in which I nod and bend down slightly. 

I feel myself freeze when my rear brushes against Draco, unsure of what I came in contact with, I gulp down my concern and worries before leaning over. Breathing in through my nose, multiple scents begin to engulf my nostrils. Taking my time in examining each one, my eyes widen just like Angel's when I realise who or who's I had smelled. Giving Draco a turn, Angel happily drags me a few steps away from Draco and the gleeful smile never seemed to have left her face at all.

"So?!" Angel asks excitedly, I sigh as I remember all the scents I collected.

"Expensive men's cologne." I whisper to Angel, she gasps quietly in surprise. "Mint, leather, citrus's I think, parchment or books, the smell after it rains... fucking muggle herb.. then lavender and black liquorice." 

Angel blinks, "Goodness, a whole lot there." 

I roll my eyes, "I know, also you can easily guess who."

"Draco and Pansy." Angel giggles, "Anyway, my turn. Quidditch equipment, men's cologne, cigarettes and sex."

"Sex?" I question her, raising my eyebrows in inquisition. 

Angel grins, "Yes.. sex..." She trails on as though I know what she's talking about, however I don't have a clue. 

"Angel, who is it? I don't know." I pout childishly, Angel's hand contacts with my shoulder as she moves closer towards me.

"Blaise fucking Zabini." She whispers beside my ear, my face dropping immediately after hearing the words leave her mouth. Angel steps back, giggling at my shocked expression of wide eyes and raised eyebrows. "I know."

"Do you like him?" I ask, her cheeks begin to glow a faint pink and she smiles like an idiot. 

Sheepishly, Angel nods. "Yeah, we've been hanging out and I know what I said weeks ago about them being horrible— but Blaise is so much nicer with Argento gone." 

I hum in agreement, "Suppose Draco has too."

"Exactly, it's like he had an affect on them or something." Angel shrugs as we head back to the desk, Draco had handed in his work and left during the time we were disclosing information, which is a shame I wanted to know what he smelled— probably would've been that Layla Murdock girl, whoever that is. 

Angel and I write down our final observations, that being what we smelled. Obviously, I had to cut back from the muggle herb and Angel left out the sex and cigarettes, which clearly is the best decision seeing as I don't need to be questioned about my well-being by Headmaster Dumbledore; even though I guess I appreciate it, I would rather not have to explain why I smelled weed to him— not on my bucket list honestly.

⋆ ⋆

Dinner had just started, it now being seven o'clock and students had filed from the corridors to the Great Hall. With the corridors bare of students, I peacefully wander to the Great Hall from common room after spending the rest of the day with Angel, where we waited for Ivy to join later and shockingly we got high. Considering we smoked at six, and the numerous bowls I smoked were possibly too much, I am presently higher than the clouds and walking through this school is terrifying when you're this stoned.

I told Ivy and Angel to head there without me as I'd catch up to them at the Hall, since I was with Pansy for a few minutes. Then, I seemed to have lost Pansy so I decided to amble to the Hall alone and in fear of my un-sober-ness being noticed— which no ones even paid attention to, so who knows why I'm worrying myself. Taking a deep breath, I calm my worries and I continue walking in peace.

However, my peace is rapidly stolen from me as a girl up ahead had just exited a storage closet, which I funnily know of because of Pansy and I's adventurous natures, I walk a little faster to catch up with her, just to see who she was. My eyes widen when I realise who it is, it's the girl that Ivy kept blabbering about, who Pansy told me about and, alongside that, a bunch of Slytherin boys had been chatting about her arse in commons this afternoon. 

Layla Murdock. 

Some reason, I wanted to laugh, but I resist the urge. It's not like I want to laugh at Layla, more laugh at myself for how low of a standard I am to Draco now. And it's basically pitiful. 

"Layla Murdock?" I ask the girl as I reach her, slowly walking alongside her. 

She glances at me up and down, "Yes, and you are?" Layla questions, I notice her peer back at something and choose to follow her eyes. Looking over my shoulder, the sight of Draco fixing his tie while smirking back at Layla before walking the opposite way to us. I glance at Layla again, she's biting her lip and hiding back a smirk.

"Raven Winters." I reply, pretending to be unbothered by what I just saw— it's humiliating that I am annoyed by it.

Layla's hair is just past her shoulders in length, her hair being dark blonde at the roots and lightening as it glissades to the roots. Her nose is dainty and defined, faultless and perfect. Not to mention her striking jawline, which is flawless and femininely chiseled as well, seeming that female goddesses created her structured features. The pale skin of her cheeks is lightly blushed a subtle pink, with a little artificial blush higher up on her cheekbones. Blue, magnificent iris's of crystal blue oceans looks to be her most noticeable feature, seeing as they stand out drastically from their bright blue appearance. Eyebrows perfect as well, just everything was faultless.

Her clothes were rather scanty, being a tight black pencil skirt and a strapless, forest green crop top that fit around her chest flawlessly, the devoid of much material covering her body makes it seem like she doesn't feel the cold, however it's the beginning of December and it is freezing. Not forgetting to mention, she's relatively tall, around five foot seven and incredibly slim— if I wasn't envious of her face, then her height and body completely does it for me.

"I haven't seen you before, are you new?" I wonder, earning a condescending look from her as she eyes me up and down once more.

She turns her nose up, facing straight as we walked. "No, I'm not new. Seventh year, finally finished essays so I don't need to study any more." Layla replies, her tone filled with superiority. "Have more time to take Draco from all the grubby girls of this school."

I snicker, which Layla doesn't seem to take very well. She comes to a halt and I stop a few steps away from her, turning back in confusion while she examines me again. "Oh, I know you. Your that little half-blood obsessed with Draco." Layla smirks.

Merlin, another Astoria?

"Bet you heard that from the lovely Astoria." I scoff, glaring at her.

"Oh, no, Draco told me." Layla shrugs, pushing her blonde hair over her shoulder elegantly.

I roll my eyes, "Sure, see you around, Murdock." 

And with that, I storm to the Great Hall— I didn't need to hear anymore, I don't think I could bear to hear another word leave that rich girls mouth. 

She's an older version of Astoria, apparently more colder and evil too. 

This will be one hell of a few days left of school. 

⋆   
⋆


	48. Chapter 48

9th of December

Luna stares at me intently, her thin eyebrows furrowed with bewilderment and her rose pink lips parted while she breathed softly. The blue diamond eyes of hers watch me as I pace in front of her rapidly with frustration, Luna is unfortunately being subjected to my mid-day ranting, which she's taking pretty well if I'm completely honest. The ethereal Ravenclaw girl stood patiently and politely in the corridor that's sparse of students, her eyes viewing me storm up and down endlessly while I utter insults about a particular someone to her.

After yesterday, I thought I'd be able to manage with what Layla Murdock told me— however I should've learnt from last time I suppressed my emotions, so it had backfired and it just recently catapulted me into fury when Luna was heading to Potions with me. We were wanting to be early to class, instead my ranting had taken over and I'm praying it's not irritating her or anything.

Like with Hermione, Luna and I aren't best friends— just friends. I talk to her during classes sometimes, or in the halls, but mostly when I attend the Friday sleepover in the two Gryffindor's dorms; Hermione and Ginny, they don't share a dorm unfortunately so we switched between the two. For weeks, I can't seem to gather whether I annoy Luna or interest her, or maybe confuse her even, either way though; her serenity and relentless calm demeanour induced me to oblivious to her true feelings about me, all platonic and friendly of course— but it all has me frazzled. 

Sometimes, it shocks me how my brain manages to worry about things while I blurt out random shit, suppose I'm an exceptional multitasker.

"A seventh year!" I scoff, stopping in front of Luna briefly in disbelief of Layla Murdock, "She fucking said that I'm obsessed with Draco, just like Astoria does— then has the fucking audacity to say Draco told her it?!" 

"Horrible girl." Luna says sternly, making me smile from her change in tone of voice— it no longer sweet and soft, but harsh now. "Shouldn't you tell Vesper this, I appreciate your ranting as it's good to let your emotions out, but I can't really do that."

I giggle, "That's the point, you'll keep it between us and not start a brawl." 

Luna nods in understanding, her aquamarine eyes viewing me while I begin pacing again in rage. "I am not obsessed with him!!" I groan in annoyance, raking my fingers through my hair from the building up of stress induced tension. "Why do people think that?? Have I implied in some way that I am?" I question Luna, who shakes her head side to side, her luscious blonde hair flowing in the cool air as her head moved. 

"It's so annoying, I'm sick of it." I rub my finger tips over my temples, sighing while I come to a halt and wander to Luna, leaning against the wall that she was leant on. 

Luna smiles with reassurance, "It's called teenage girls, Ray. You have the good type, then the bad, and Murdock seems like the bad type." 

I laugh softly, "You are so right, you're a good type, Luna."

"Thank you," She chirps, "As are you."

"What do I do though?" I sigh, tilting my head back and staring at the high ceilings, the bricks appearing to ascend into the clouds from how towering the walls are. 

Luna hums quietly while she thinks, "Since you're with Pansy now, and this is quite scandalous, but maybe tease him?"

"Oo Luna, change of attitude." I joke, turning to her and playfully knocking my fists against the top of her head in a soft manner, "Hello..... what have you done with Luna?"

She chuckles, her small giggles sounding like literal angels or the sound you'd hear as you entered heaven. "She's still here, just trying to help you out."

"Am I annoying you?" I frown, however she immediately shakes her head to indicate no. Sighing in relief, I tilt my head back against the brick and stare at the ceiling once more.

"I actually enjoy your company, Ray." Luna admits, "Your rants are rather interesting to listen to."

I snicker with a laugh, "Are they?" I notice Luna nod in my peripheral vision, a clear display joy on her dainty and heavenly features. Eyebrows raised happily, a sweet smile on her lips that hadn't washed away yet and the visible dimples caused by her excessive and amazing constant smiling.

"Layla Murdock isn't a new name, she always returns out of the blue when assignments and essays are over." Luna informs, shrugging her shoulders slightly and relaxing against the lean on the jagged stone wall. "Never knew she liked Malfoy though, that's unheard of."

I halfheartedly smile, "Even if I did have a chance with him, It's over now." Sighing, closing my eyes and focusing on the nothingness I saw. "What happens if Pansy and I break up or something?"

Luna exhales deeply, "You said it yourself, Ray, it's dangerous and you being with Pansy is safe. Plus, it's obvious you two like each other."

I smile, "I guess you're right, it's just a shame. He helped me so much and now he's— an asshole again."

"He always has been." Luna admits, we both turn to face one another at the same time and we share a kind smile before staring at the ceiling again. "Also, I don't mean to bring up any unwanted memories— but if you'd like to stay at mine this Christmas break so you're away from your father, feel free to owl me and I'll come get you."

"Thank you, that really means a lot." I sigh, bringing my hand up to her shoulder and squeezing gently in appreciation.

All of this is relatively annoying honestly, the whole Draco situation and being acquainted with Satan's wife #2, it's so exciting and just what I've always dreamt for— to have two raging girls loathing me because of Draco, one being a fifth and the other a seventh, I am essentially trapped between the two vicious girls. I wish they'd poof into thin air, or transfer schools like Argento did, anything for their dooming presences to be thousands of kilometres away from me and keeping me out of harms way— despite their words rarely hurt, mostly angered me, I didn't need to punch another student again as I'd earn a lovely suspension.

Besides, being in this school with all this drama and absurdity is insanely better than living at home. It's safer, I feel more comfortable and I'm not repeatedly covered in purple and green bruises or mere cuts. Allowing that I have received saddening and traumatic experiences from my two months here, it's so much better than home by millions.

"We should get to class." I push off the wall, heading down the corridor towards Potions classroom. Luna nods, meeting my side and we start wandering to the dungeons for the lesson. 

⋆ ⋆

The day flew by right in front of my eyes and before I knew it, it's seven o'clock and dinner time. Pansy had a troubling situation with Daphne, so we were sat in my normal spot at the dining table. I had noticed Astoria glare at me, but she merely huffed and stormed to an available seat, fortunately deciding to leave me alone. Typically, I enjoy my usual seat in the hall, it's in the middle and you can essentially see everything and everyone clearly.

And that includes the bothering sight of Draco and Layla flirting in front of me, so I am not currently enjoying sitting in this spot. I actually hate it, it's impossible to resist the urge of plainly punching her in the face— however I got attained with the wonderful information that Layla Murdock's father works for my own father at the Ministry, despite my family being above hers; I can still land myself with a trip back home and an termination of attendance at Hogwarts, which basically means I have to shut up and refrain from lunging over the table.

Thankfully, Pansy's beside me and she's keeping my occupied as she gathered how frustrated Layla makes me, and Pansy wanted me to stay at Hogwarts so she's doing everything she can to keep me here— which is so sweet and precious of her to do, I simply appreciate her to an astronomical level. 

I was sitting with my legs either side of the bench, facing Pansy who was seated normally with both legs underneath the table. At most times, I'd sit like a normal person at the table as well, but I had remembered what Luna said this morning— she said 'make him jealous' in her nice way of saying things, nonetheless I understood what she meant and it's a fantastic idea. Pansy told me all about her little conversations with Draco, where she'd tempt him to get with me or tried to make him envious, unfortunately with very small luck though. He seemed amused by it rather than annoyed, which is the opposite of what we were aiming for.

However, we hadn't been really touchy around him— only slight flirting or normal talking, so I'm hoping this affects him in some way, or even any way if I'm truthful. I just want a reaction, a tiny one would satisfy me. 

To my luck, many students had assignments or essays to complete before the fifteenth of December, which is five days away, so numerous people were completely their work— leaving the Great Hall to be quieter than usual, not to mention that dinners currently at the halfway mark and students had began scattering out. Consequently, giving us less gawking eyes and drools of boys, plus Draco's full attention from the lack of excitement in the Hall tonight.

I shuffle forward on the bench, overlapping my left leg over Pansy's and she instantly faces me, a distinct and playful smirk on her lips. Her hand contacts with my thigh that laid over her own, moving her hand up and down slowly with the sensation sending goosebumps to form briskly. I lean up, going to whisper in her ear. "Play along, I'm testing a certain someone." I murmur, to which Pansy clearly hears and nods in comprehension to my little game.

Glancing at Draco, his silver gaze already watching Pansy and I with amusement. I smile innocently, then slowly bring my index and middle fingers to my bottom lip, tracing them along softly before opening my mouth ajar and slipping my fingers into my mouth. Watching Draco's own lips part while his eyes remain on mine, I suck lightly on my fingers and the side of my lips perk up while he draws his bottom lip between his teeth. Pansy observes me as well, she gently takes my fingers from my mouth and slides them into her own, her hazel eyes fixated on mine as she draws them back and forth.

"Damn, you two are freaky." A Ravenclaw boy says from behind us, then he exits the Great Hall without another word after his compliment and grasping students attention. Pansy and I smile at one another, I lean closer to Pansy while keeping my fingers in her warm mouth and feeling her tongue dance around my fingers. Peering at Draco, I smirk before shuffling nearer to Pansy and closing any space between us. 

Daringly, knowing the numerous eyes of either horny, disgusted, intrigued or infatuated students, as well as Draco and his new little girlfriend, I hook my thumb under Pansy's chin and tilt her head to the right. Biting my lip, I lean forward and slowly lick the side of Pansy's neck, then stop at the pulse point and lightly nipping at her skin. Pansy gasps quietly in response, her hand that rested on my thigh squeezes firmly from the surprising small nip on her neck. 

Licking up from the pulse point to her jawline, then along her jaw and halting at her chin where my thumb is situated. Removing my fingers from her mouth, I use my hand to move her head back to face me and I teasingly trace my tongue across her bottom lip. Looking at Draco momentarily, I tilt my head innocently at him and he undoubtedly seemed like he's soon to burst. He's biting his bottom lip roughly, eyebrows furrowed and eyes fixated on mine.

His attention is straying from Layla, and only to me— the look on her face presently is hilarious, she appears to be brewing with anger and jealousy; but I brush away her envious presence and rivet back to Draco, smirking cheekily before turning to face Pansy again. I run my tongue along her bottom and top lip, making them wet with my saliva and press my lips roughly against hers. Drawing back, feeling my saliva on her lips string to mine, then enthral my eyes upon her lustful hazel gaze and I can no longer keep things tempting nor calm. 

Colliding my lips against hers, Pansy reacts my gripping my thigh before trailing her hand up. Running over the top of my skirt, then my blouse slowly but soon stops at my right breast where she firmly squeezes it through the shirt. I smirk against her lips, knowing this will trigger something inside of Draco from gathering the knowledge that I'm not wearing a bra underneath my blouse, which I'm surprised he hadn't noticed yet.

I pull back from her lips, "We can continue this later." I bite my bottom lip, then peer at Draco and Layla.

"You're a slag!" Layla bursts out in anger, causing Pansy and I to erupt into laughter. "How is that funny?!"

Pansy smiles innocently at Layla, "You, dear, are the one in seventh year and fucking around with sixth years— are they all bored of you so you decide to screw with younger years?" She raises her eyebrows, I snicker under my breath and draw my bottom lip between my teeth, chewing lightly to hide back another laugh.

"Ugh! You two are the ones that are about to fuck in the hall!" Layla spits with disgust, in which Pansy and I just stare and blink blankly at the silly girl.

I smile, "Would you like to watch us though?"

Draco rolls his eyes while he stands up, eyeing my up and down with a visible smirk, then taps Layla's shoulder as he walks past her. Layla sends me a conceited look before trailing after Draco like a lost puppy and attaching herself to him like a leech, I feel sorry for him.

"That was hot." Pansy admits, dropping her hand to my thigh and lightly stroking her thumb along my faintly goosebumped skin. Smiling cheekily towards Pansy, she grins back and we stand up at the same time, then excitedly and eagerly exit the hall with the goal of reaching her dorm before losing control. 

⋆ ⋆ 

Friday, 13th of December

(A/N; the actual   
date of 1996,   
how cool.)

Eventually time passed and soon enough, it's a Friday morning and Ivy, Angel and I were watching the Gryffindor and Slytherin Quidditch team's practicing for the final game of the season tomorrow. Pansy earned herself a detention yesterday in her charms class from calling Professor Flitwick a 'hobbling elf', so she's currently in detention with Flitwick at the wonderful time of seven-thirty in the morning. Considering it's the only time the professor had free, which is extremely unfortunate but she should be joining us three soon as it ends in ten minutes.

Ivy's presently rambling about Harry Potter to Angel and I, however Ivy might as well be ranting to the air seeing as our attention is focused on how the Slytherin and Gryffindor teams have to endure training together; and they appear to despise it a lot. You can sense the tension from where we're sitting, which is on the Gryffindor stand and front row. Their hatred for one another, or intimidation, is especially interesting to watch, since an argument breaks out every five minutes and it's immensely exciting; they either get pulled away by their other teammates or a brawl occurs, it's fun and harmless to view.

"I heard Harry asked you to the dance, Ray." Ivy says, grabbing my attention as I glance at her with furrowed brows. 

I awkwardly smile, "Yep, it was so strange and I declined anyway."

Angel hums, "Did he say why he asked you? Surely he knows you are in a relationship."

"Thought he would, he's friends with Hermione and she knows." I shrug, peering at Angel then at Ivy, noticing their curious expressions. "I made some joke about how I must be his last resort, then he said I was the first girl he'd asked and I froze."

"Oh wow." Angel snorts, quiet and suppressed laughs escaping her.

I scoff, "I feel so bad, it's not funny."

"Ray, it's funny." Ivy snickers, sending me a look of judgement to my humour in relations to the scenario.

Rolling my eyes, I huff in defeat. "Fine, it was sort of funny." 

Ivy and Angel giggles amongst themselves, occasionally bringing me into the conversation but my eyes were enthralled upon the my complex Arithmancy textbook, reading the chapters that we'd be learning next term after the Christmas break. I suppose, it's nerdy that I'm studying even though all of my assignments and essays have been handed in, but Ivy had also begun reading the Arithmancy textbook in preparation; just like me, so thankfully I have someone who understands the importance of skimming over chapters in advance.

Funnily enough, I had actually been successful in causing Draco to be somewhat jealous about the occurrence in the Great Hall on Monday night, that was fantastic news to found out. Apparently he fucked Layla, then ranted to Blaise about what I did and how I must've thought it was 'funny'. It is relatively funny, seeing how turned on he got, but he still managed to run off with a different girl.

I think at this point, Pansy is truly willing to help me with making Draco lose control from how stubborn he's being, she just wants it over and for him to accept defeat; apparently it'll be a long ride to victory though, but I'm certain I can do it.. or at least try harder. Despite that Pansy seems to dislike the fact that Draco has so much control over me, she mostly wants to prove to Draco that he will break before I do, I just pray it's not bothering her.

But, that's a conversation for another day. 

⋆   
⋆


	49. Chapter 49

Saturday, 14th of December

The Quidditch final of the season seems very popular topic amongst chatter this morning and afternoon, it's all Pansy and I heard when he wandered the halls and sat in the Great Hall. Shockingly though, the talk with the girls remained on the dance tomorrow night, and some students were buzzing with excitement. Throughout breakfast, the only words you could hear were Quidditch, Slytherin will win, Gryffindor has to win and are you going to the game? 

Don't get me wrong, Quidditch is interesting to watch despite how much I cringe every time the bludger collided with someone, or when someone fell off their broom and honestly every minuscule aspect of the game. It's so brutal, I used to be able to watch it easily and only cringe at tough knocks about between players, but with the knowledge of Draco's father being present at all games and hurts him if he loses— it made me hate watching it.

I'd stress too much than I should, the first game that I watched had essentially winded me in shock from knowing what was bound to happen to Draco soon, and witnessing it caused it all to become much worse. Viewing the game is impossible, I feel myself growing with worry and concern even if the smallest incident occurs— it's practically implausible to force myself to endure, so I'm unfortunately not attending this game this afternoon; but it's for the best.

The game begins at five o'clock, it being four right now, so I have an hour with my friends before I'm alone and lose control of my overthinking brain. Composing myself during these days is unachievable, I can't seem to hold back my worries at all and majority of the time while I await the winner of the match; I spend it thinking and ruminating the possible outcomes, repeatedly preparing myself to see a bruised Draco and expecting the worst.

Nonetheless, this is the final match and the teams are undoubtedly going to be rough, using brute force to win the trophy. So, I guess I have to tolerate my overthinking mind as this final game is obviously forceful and dangerous from the determination to win. 

So, we breathe and anxiously wait.

"You sure you don't want to come?" Angel questions while her and Ivy head towards the dorm door, soon to exit and make their way to the Quidditch match. 

I nod, "I'm sure."

"Well, don't have too much fun." Ivy winks, then the two quickly say bye and lightly shut the door behind them. I sigh, flopping backwards on my bed and staring up at the ceiling.

Overthinking is becoming repetitive and somewhat boring now, it's just so much thinking over things that aren't even necessary nor important. Draco, of course, is important and definitely necessary, and unfortunately my mind seems to adore torturing myself over a boy that's evidently bored of me; well that's how he makes it out to be. 

Draco may of helped with, but his teasing is growing to seriously aggravate me and one day I will shamefully drop straight to my knees for him— just to feel him again, I am so desperate for it. It sounds pathetic and silly, however it's the whole truth, which annoys me even more. Pansy's great to have sex with, I guess I miss Draco though. His touch set fires alight inside me, whereas Pansy induced fuzzy tingles. It's as though I crave roughness from Draco and love from Pansy, and I absolutely hate how confusing it is.

Yawning, I decide on having a quick nap to soothe myself from my endless kind of thoughts, seeing that sleeping is an easy and safe path to go down instead of drinking alcohol and going crazy on yourself. Still in my short red plaid skirt and grey oversized hoodie, I shuffle my body to lay on my side and nuzzle my face into the soft pillows. Almost instantly as I closed my eyes, I felt sleep cloud upon me and I soon fall into a serene nap, devoid of all intrusive thoughts that I need to stay away from. 

⋆ ⋆

Murmuring at the person who's currently shaking me by the shoulders, I nuzzle my face into the comfy pillow to indicate that I'm sleeping; but they don't seem to be listening to me and continue their motion. I groan in irritation, sitting up and rubbing my eyes with my finger tips to awaken myself as I accept defeat in whoever had tore me from my peaceful rest. 

My eyes slowly adjust to the light radiating from the three lamps on either nightstand in the dorm, a few seconds after tiredly accustoming my eyes, they land on Pansy who is sitting on the edge of my bed with a chirpy smile on perked on her lips.

I yawn, bringing my legs from beneath the covers and crossing them, my eyes on Pansy in curiosity as to why she's currently in my dorm and why she woke me up. Nonetheless, I can't help but feel excited, Pansy never woke me up unless we were doing something fun like smoking, or having sex in a classroom at midnight. "Is the match finished?" I ask, my eyes finally adjusted to the bright lights and I can see properly now. 

"Nah, I didn't want to go." Pansy shrugs, "You should of told me you weren't going either, we could of done fun things." 

I furrow my brows, "What's stopping us from doing it now?"

Pansy grins, "Well... the match might finish in roughly thirty minutes or earlier, so I guess we can begin our fun."

"What's the fun?" I quiz, running my fingers gently through my brown tresses to rid it of loose tangles that annoyingly formed from my quick sleep.

"Have you heard of ecstasy before?" She raises her eyebrows, standing from my bed and holding her hands out for me to grab. I clasp my hands with hers, Pansy carefully hauls me off my bed and to my feet, which I accidentally fell asleep with my converse on. 

"Vesper talked about it once with Theo, I overheard them." I inform, repositioning my plaid skirt that had rode up my waist during my nap, "Apparently it's fun."

Pansy nods, "It is, do you want to try it?" 

I twist my lips in thought, then decide to let loose and have fun. "Sure." I beam, Pansy smiles eagerly and instantly guides me to her dorm. 

The door to her room opens as Pansy approaches it, seemingly charmed to open and close to the owner of the dorm. From my nap, I feel much more energetic and free from exhaustion, which I suppose will be needed in a few minutes. 

I take a seat on the edge of her black sheeted bed while Pansy ferrets through her nightstand drawer, eventually retrieving a small plastic baggie with two red pills in it. Pansy excitedly sits beside me, but pushes herself onto the centre of her bed and pats the space in front of her. Shuffling further to the area Pansy patted, I eagerly sit cross-legged from her while she sits with her legs under her, somewhat kneeling.

Carefully, Pansy shakes the baggie and the contents tumble onto the palm of her hand. She smiles, holding one of the red pills out and I immediately take it from her. I observe the pill, it's a circle shape and relatively large for a normal pill, as well as that the texture is somewhat grainy-like and not smooth; which makes it even more intriguing than it already is. "What does it do?" I wonder, rolling it lightly between my finger tips and fixating my eyes upon the strange red pill. 

"Makes you feel like you're on top of the world, your senses are all enhanced and everything feels amazing." Pansy informs, only growing my curiosity for the pill. I watch as Pansy places the red pill on her tongue, then takes a sip of water and easily swallows the rather big pill. She hands the glass cup to me, which I take in my free hand.

"Does it feel similar to being drunk? or high?" I question further, wanting to know more before I swallow a random pill.

"Both at the same time, I guess." Pansy shrugs, her eyes on mine with reassurance. "I'll make sure you're safe."

I nod, eagerly popping the fascinating pill on my tongue and lifting the cup to my lips, swallowing a large gulp of water and the pills goes down with it. "It should take about thirty minutes, there's a quickening charm on it so it'll hit faster." Pansy notifies, "You'll have fun, I promise."

"When will I know?" I furrow my brows, passing the glass back to Pansy, who then places it on her spruce nightstand. 

Pansy smiles, "Trust me, you will definitely know." Her eyes linger across my frame, a twinkle in her hazel eyes. "Just a warning, you might get really horny.."

I smirk, "How's that a bad thing?"

Her eyebrows raise in surprise and interest, "I suppose it isn't."

Ecstasy, it's a new drug to me. I have only heard Vesper mention it once, she was talking to Theo about getting some and doing it together or something like that. Honestly, the conversation was brief and didn't really hype the drug up. I've heard it's a popular drug amongst muggles, especially when they go to dance clubs or messy teenage parties, but truly I haven't read much into it seeing as it never came to my mind that I'd try it in my life— but younger me was incredibly wrong since a red pill is presently beginning to dissolve and in thirty minutes, I will presumably feel the effects.

Pansy wasn't very precise on the actual effects of the drug, which I assume it may be hard to explain, if it feels like your high and drunk at the same time then that seems difficult to exactly explain. However, I'm estimating from my experiences with being drunk and high, ecstasy feels as though your skin is the softest substance in the world and you find everyone or everything breathtaking.

Honestly, I'm excited. If it feels similar to being high, then I'll be quite alright with it all, same with the good effects of alcohol. As it does have it downsides, but Pansy assured me that we didn't take enough to meet the brink of paranoia, so this actually might be really entertaining and fun.

five minutes   
pass...

seven..

then twelve...

Roughly fifteen minutes later, Pansy and I are ripped away from the little conversation about the 'horny effects' of ecstasy, we were about to reach the interesting part until the common room erupts with cheering and claps. I feel a wave of relief wash over me, assuming that Slytherin has won the first term season cup from their ecstatic talking and booming voices of victory.

"Think they won?" I sarcastically ask Pansy, who giggles in response to my silly joke.

"If I took a wild guess, I think they did." Pansy shrugs, concealing back her smile. 

The match was genuinely lengthy, I had fell asleep at four then woken at eight by Pansy and we had only been in her dorm for under thirty minutes, so the match was roughly three hours long, which is an incredibly tedious time and I'm glad I didn't force myself to bear three hours of torture to my own mind. But, judging from the cheers and loud booming voices, the lengthy game was undeniably worth it since they evidently won. 

Barely five minutes have passed by since they came back to common room and music is already blasting from down the hall, a vibration induced by the bass speakers spreads through the floor, the strength simply demonstrates how loud it is out there. But partying seems alluring and unquestionably gratifying at this moment, I'm not sure if the drugs kicking in or if the sound of a party intrigues me; but either way, it's beyond question that dancing has the air of being quite tempting in this current moment.

"Hold on, I want you to wear something." Pansy wiggles her pointer finger at me, then hops of the bed and hastily advances towards her wardrobe. For a minute or two, she disappears into the walk in closet and soon departs the small room with a bundle of black straps in her hands. Pansy wanders to the side of the bed, nodding her head to the space in front of her and ushering me to sit there. 

Crawling over her large bed to the other side, I take a seat directly adjacent to Pansy and situate my legs either side of hers as she blocked me from positioning my thighs together. "This—" Pansy holds up these two small belt, almost resembling a dog collar or something of that sort. "..Will make you look so fucking hot." She bends over, unbuckling the latches on both the strappy items.

"What are they?" I question, my words coming out quickly as if they perfectly rolled off my tongue.

Pansy grins, "Accessories." Then, Pansy kneels on the floor and slips the strange items over my converse and socks, gliding higher up and halting at my mid-thighs. She stands up again, effortlessly looping the fabric through the belt like latch and tightening it on my thigh, Pansy does the same to the other one.

"These look an awful lot like that kinky harness shit." I joke, fiddling with the strap and looping it through a fabric holding to keep it from dangling in the air. Pansy clips them to the long, black socks I was already wearing using the silver metal clip of the harness accessories. The pressure is tight around my thighs, gripping at them but it felt exciting.

"I suppose they are, just these ones are used mostly for accessories." Pansy informs, repositioning my socks over my knees. "Okay— stand please." As she takes a step back, I stand and the tightness of the harness nicks at my sensitive skin of my inner thighs. I wander to her floor length mirror, shifting sideways and frontwards on my feet as I inspect the strange item clinging to my thighs. 

Honestly, they looked good on me.

I smile at the new look, then a monumental wave of new and unknown sensations wash over my entire body, reaching the tiny crevices of my figure and I feel my system erupt with energy. Stepping closer to the mirror, watching as Pansy moves behind me while I catch a strange appearance of my eyes, observing my pupils that seemed different to their typical size. 

My pupils have dilated to huge, round and truly appearing like frying pans. The gems of blues and rare diamonds of greens that made up my iris's were nearly invisible, my pupils overpowering the iris colours and appearing like huge flying saucers. "Your pupils are really big too." I note, Pansy standing beside me and examining my intrigued self. 

"That's how you know it's kicking in, how do you feel?" Pansy asks, her voice always seeming quicker than usual. 

"I feel fun," I confess, not entirely sure if my words made any sense but they did when I spoke them.

Pansy clutches my hand in hers, thousands of magically vibrant and bursting fireworks spark off inside me, her soft hand feeling comparative to an unbelievably smooth surface that's weirdly satisfying to your senses. The fireworks remain exploding while my nerve endings tingle, this contact of all items currently touching me skin is like heaven.

"Pansy— what if I get.. horny with.. him." I awkwardly say when Pansy eagerly guides me to her dorm door, our fingers intertwined and sending multiple astounding feelings through my veins. 

She giggles, turning around fully after we reach the door. Her other hand grasps mine, gently swinging them and smiling joyfully. "Ray, I know you're craving him, if you want him later in the night then you should definitely try." 

"And you're okay with that?" I query, glancing at the wooden planked floor instead of her eyes. But one hand releases from mine, situating under my chin and using it to lift my chin up, our eyes meeting.

"Of course I am! If I wasn't, then we wouldn't be doing this right now. Plus, ecstasy just has an aspect to it that effects how horny you get." Pansy smirks, tracing her fingers along my jawline. "Everything feels so smooth."

I giggle, "I know! I'm glad you don't mind about Draco, maybe you could sneak and we'll fuck in his bathroom— that'll be exciting."

Pansy's eyes widen, inducing her pupils to be more noticeable. "Stop talking or I won't be able to resist you." She confesses, I smile ecstatically and nod happily in comprehension. "Do I look good?" Pansy asks, her hand on the doorknob. 

As always, Pansy looks stunning and she honestly didn't even need to try— it's natural beauty. Her hair is pin straight, cascading a few inches past her shoulders. She's wearing a cotton black dress, ending an inch or two past her rear and has a rather low-cut, putting her cleavage on display. The dress hugged her curves faultlessly, giving her the most striking hourglass figure that could easily capture the eyes of anyone that took a single glimpse at her. Pansy isn't wearing a bra, which doesn't bother me at all, mostly excites me if I'm totally truthful.

"You look gorgeous, like always." I smile, earning a pretty grin from Pansy in return.

Pansy twists the doorknob, then draws the door inwards into the room and the blasting volume engulfs my hearing, overpowering every other sound that might've been barely audible. But, it feels like the best sensation ever, the sound waves rushing through my system. "How long does this feeling last for?" I say beside Pansy's ear when we step into the corridor, her dorm door shutting behind us.

A huge smile emerges, she leans forward to beside my ear. "The peak lasts for a little over two hours, then barely dies down and carries on for another four hours. Gotta love magic?" Pansy informs, my face lighting up from the knowledge that I'll feel this blissful sensation for two hours. Thinking to what she said about loving magic, I'm assuming she used a few charms to long on the effects and that's the smartest decision in the entire world.

Pansy leads us to the common room, where the room is bustling with Slytherin students and multiple others from the other three houses, appearing as though Slytherins offered to fun to everyone— and more the merrier, it makes the atmosphere of the party more lively with more people. This party is drastically different to the previous ones, there's flashing lights with all colours of the rainbow and they flicker rapidly, my heart begins to thump in heightening bliss.

Students were inappropriately and appropriately dancing amongst one another, numerous alcohol bottles scattered across every corner of the common room, ensuring that everyone had the heavenly experience of being completely out of it. However, this feeling thats pulsating through my bloodstream isn't anything like being drunk, I am aware of everything that's occurring and it's all enhanced to an astronomical level of gratification, alongside bursts of tingles and extraordinary chills cloud my figure, even the flashing lights brought fireworks to explode within me.

I spot Angel and Ivy sitting at the leather couches, the same white substance that Draco had all those weeks ago, and divided into sections then scrapped to lines. With the music vibrating through my ears and into my feet, I tug Pansy towards the two girls and they both glance up with victorious grins. As we reach them, I notice Angel's eyes widen when they land on my thighs then she shuffles closer to Ivy to give Pansy and I some sofa space.

Pansy takes a seat on the far left, resting her elbow on the armrest and I sit beside her, somewhat squished between Angel and Pansy. "Looking quite tempting tonight, Ray." Angel peers at the harnesses on my thighs, in which I softly giggle in response to her shocked voice, seeming astounded and proud of my bold outfit. "Don't worry, it's a good thing. Ivy and I look like actual prostitutes."

I snicker, "No way."

Angel's wearing a rose red, fitted two piece set with the fabric a smooth silk. The tops hem ends two inches above her belly button and the style is a halter top, accentuating her shoulders stunningly. A small, semi-loose skirt stops a few minuscule millimetres past her rear, Angel would be doomed if she had to lean or bend over for any reason at all. Ivy wore a tight, white cotton dress with the hem further down her thighs compared to Angel's bold skirt length, but Ivy's on the narrow margin of doom if she were to bend over. The straps of her simple dress were thin spaghetti ribbons, with a cross hatch pattern at the back— both the girls look sensational.

Ivy leans forward to see past Angel, "Ray, only you could pull off wearing a skimpy ass skirt, oversized jumper and those kinky fucking harnesses and socks." She leans back again, her face becoming out of view from Angel.

"She's not wrong." Angel beams, then leans forward with a rolled, hollow paper in her hands. She positions one side just in her nostril, pressing down on the other nostril then drags the rolled paper across the white substance, sniffing sharply. 

"It's cocaine." Pansy says against my ear, her hot breath hits the sensitive skin of my neck as she spoke.

The room spins magically, however I could instantly pull myself back from the spinning sensation and catapult into it again, it's as though I have complete control of my body while being utterly overpowered by the drug at the same time— it's so strange. In a way, it feels like I have obtained a superpower or unlocked my sixth sense, either way it's extremely thrilling to pull yourself in and out of a spinning room.

Angel and Ivy have around three times of the white powder each, then stand up excitedly while clutching one another's hand. "Wanna dance?" Angel asks, holding her hand out for me. I peer at Pansy, who nods in authorisation and mouths the words have fun, I smile joyfully and take hold of Angel's hand. Patting my short skirt to lay properly and unruffled the fabric from where I had sat, Angel leads me to the bustling dance floor and I glimpse back to Pansy, who's chatting with Blaise as he's on the sofa opposite.

Before I know it, I'm in the amidst of dry humping teenagers, waving limbs of thrill and the stench of alcohol fills my nostrils. Angel still has ahold of my hand, clasping it tightly and our fingers intertwined for ever safety— it's like we're both those backpacks for children with the leads, whereas our arms are the leads to keeping together and not getting swallowed by the drunken teenagers. Angel gets hauled by Ivy into the centre of the dance floor, where majority of the girls were dancing. I lean forward closer to Angel's ear, "I've never really danced before!" I announce, just loud enough for her to hear over the blaring music. 

Angel gasps, but the sound is muted from the music, "I'll show you!! I hope Pansy won't kill me!" Angel yells back, I roll my eyes and nod to imply that Pansy is definitely okay with this— actually, she'd love this. The girl can't keep her hands off me, well neither can I, but if she saw me dancing wit another girl... Pansy would use it as a compliment until the day I died, she truly thinks I'm a gorgeous treasure and I fucking love it. "Just loosen up and go with the flow of me." Angel calls, I nod and feel Angel's free hand grab my waist, pulling me closer to her.

Her fingers untangle from mine, but quickly contact with my waist, Angel's hands now gripping my waist and she unexpectedly spins me around so my back is facing her. Her adventurous hands wander the sides of my body, clutching firmly while she tugs me to press compactly against her front. I gather that my skirts riding up while my rear moves enduringly upon her hips, my body quickly grasping the rhythm and my hips seem to have a mind of them own as they dance with Angel's body. 

"What are you wearing under the jumper?" Angel asks beside my ear, a slight giggle in her voice from the incredibly strange question that could easily be taken out of context.

"Really low-cut crop top." I tilt my head back against her shoulder, ensuring that my words were audible through the deafening music and heavy bass that vibrates the stone floor. 

Angel's hands loosen for a second or two, then return to the firm hold when the evident mother of the group, Ivy, shoved herself through the crowd and in front of me. Ivy nods down to my hoodie, I smile and Ivy hooks her fingers around the hem of my hoodie, then hauls it up and over my head. My unsecured breasts in the extremely low-cut get washed over with hot body heat, sending prickles through my body and ridding me from nerves. Ivy leaves with my hoodie, probably taking it to Pansy or hiding it in the sofa's cushions, which is what Angel had to do with her jumper once. 

Mine and Angel's bodies move against one another's in an enchanting way and the rhapsodic sensations shoot vastly through my figure with the beat of the music, the flashing lights beam in my eyes in a rapturous manner. Students become rapid stop motion from the flickering lights turning colour to black, then colour to black again— appearing like a stop motion film from the mere millisecond void of sight. Suddenly, I feel another body join us and I gratifyingly smile at Pansy, who's front is pressed against my own and our gazes at eye level from our similar height.

"I'm so fucking high!" Pansy bursts, her sensational hands grouping with Angel's tight grip on my waist, whereas Pansy's hands slide along my sides and momentarily running over Angel's hands. I smile, displaying my likewise feeling with my blissful grin. 

"What the fuck are you two even on?" Angel shouts over the music, the grip on my waist soaring from the musics increasing noise and bass, students awaiting the bass drop that's soon to blast through our ears.

"Ecstasy!" I yell back, Angel gasps beside my ear but it hastily turns into laughter.

"Well done!" Angel beams, "I'm high as fuck on coke." I laugh at Angel's straightforwardness, tilting my head back against Angel's shoulder and draping my arms over Pansy's shoulders then cooking behind her neck, hauling her body closer to mine. Everyone's dancing slows by just a smidge as the music lowers, then a pulsating vibration zaps up my legs as the bass drops and students begin their past paced dancing. The sensation felt godly, something from an entirely different and alien planet.

After what seems like a few minutes of dancing, which had actually been thirty minutes, we energetically sit ourselves on the sofa again; all in the same seating place from before, except my leg is draped over Pansy's thigh and resting between her legs. With all the energy inducing chemicals in the drugs, slouching into the sofa cushions is implausible, our bodies being spirited with bliss and thoroughly awakened from the zaps of euphoria jolting in our systems.

The dancing hadn't tired me as much as I thought it would, nor did soreness or aching feet occur, the paradisiacal drugs causing my body to be immune to feeling exhaustion and wanting me to run laps around the world billions of times from the amount of energy I feel. Pansy's hand runs along my thigh, the warm tips of her fingers grazing over my inner thigh in a satisfying manner. 

Despite Pansy notifying me on the effects ecstasy has on your sexual aspects, currently I didn't feel all that turned on, her hands are more gentle, loving and incredibly soothing— not doing the opposite at all. 

I glance at the clock on the ledge above the fireplace, the time being ten o'clock and meaning the party's just beginning. The music has been turned up a notch after Blaise charmed the silencing spell again, possibly to guarantee that no professors or teachers-pet students hear the commotion of the blasting and thumping bass, deafening music or the loud chatter of dozens upon dozens of students. The atmosphere is building, a few students nights ending early as intoxicated students carry their more drunken friends. However, the crowd, music and the powerful intensity of the party never dropped once.

"What made you want to try ecstasy?" Angel questions, her voice louder than usual to compensate with the bellowing music. 

I shrug, "Pansy said it'd be fun!"

Angel smiles ecstatically, "Is it?" 

Smiling with bliss, I nod in affirmation to Angel's question. "Where's Ivy?!" I ask, facing Angel with my eyebrows furrowed.

"Miss Ivy left with a familiar blonde Ravenclaw!" She smirked, shuffling closer to me until our thighs were pressed against one another's, removing the space between us so we wouldn't have to scream over the music. 

"Ivy's into girls?!" My eyes widen in shock, to which Angel nods excitedly.

⋆ 

⋆ 

⋆

Two hours passed, Pansy and I still feel the peak on the drugs rushing through our veins, which Pansy assured the peak could last up until four hours depending on body mass, so considering Pansy and I are relatively skinny and roughly five foot four in height, it's obvious and normal for our peak to long on. Nonetheless, I am not worried or complaining about it— it's essentially a gift from God, allowing us to feel the bliss for longer than usual and we should treasure our highs, not hope for it to settle. Although, Pansy also informed me that the effects after the peak are extremely similar, so it's hard to tell; yet again though, I don't mind at all.

12:08am, the clock above the fireplace read. The party is going strong, only a few wasted and puking students had left for clear reasons. I also may have hooked Pansy up with this really stunning Gryffindor girl named Romilda Vane, who I essentially had to promise Pansy it's only fair and I also saw her eyeing Romilda the entire night, Pansy turned the vibrant shade of red when I introduced them, it was quite cute.

The sofa's were occupied by blacked out students, so Angel and I had resided to the metre of cobble wall that's in between the boys and girls dormitory corridors. We picked this sitting spot since we'd spy the lucky students who snagged a drunken experience in the dorms of those who don't know how to lock their dorms, so they have to regretfully live with the fact that people had sex in their bed—

It had happened to Crabbe and Goyle just a few minutes ago, they share a dorm together so Angel and I spied on them and bursted into laughter from the two boys gasping at a Ravenclaw girl exit their dorm with a Hufflepuff boy. They appeared sickened, but mostly bewildered and then they argued plus bickered for minutes about how the other should of locked the door. 

It's pure entertainment honestly.

"So— my Angel, I didn't see Blaise enter his dorm with a girl." I nudge her slightly, "Maybe it's your chance."

Angel scoffs, "As if he'd ever get with me."

I roll my eyes, "You're sexy, he would definitely get with you."

"You think?" She wonders mindfully, pursing her lips in intense thought.

"Yes." I giggle, causing Angel to burst into childish chuckles along with me. 

"You know what you should do?" Angel elbows me playfully, raising her eyebrows a few times before failingly winking, which it was more of a blink to be quite frank. 

I huff, "That seventh year is probably in there."

Angel shakes her head side to side, "Nope, I saw her leave with some seventh year Hufflepuff."

"Seriously?" I say in shock, the excitement rushes through my veins again and brings back my much missed elated high.

"Yes, it was so obvious," Angel laughs, then randomly begins ferreting her fingers into her cleavage, slipping out a bag of cocaine and opening it up. "Want a little boost?" She raises an eyebrow, I eagerly nod in confirmation. Angel takes a flat, small wooden stick from her breasts, the size of the stick about three inches. 

With the bag open, Angel scoops a little mount onto the end of the flat stick, "Hold your finger over on nostril, then sniff with the other." Angel instructs me, making me giggle softly. I press the tip of my middle finger over my nostril, then I carefully lean forward and Angel brings it up to my nose. Sniffing sharply, I lean back up and tilt my head against the wall, feeling the bitter drug tastes at the back of my throat. 

Angel has a little more as well, before securely placing the stick and cocaine baggie into her cleavage again. We grin at one another with anticipation, I stand up and help Angel to her feet. Giggling like little girls, we wander down the boys dormitory corridor and Angel halts at the door before Draco's. Angel knocks, in which the door instantly opens and Angel glances back at me, then disappears into Blaise's dorm.

Gulping, I gently tap my knuckles against the wooden door and to my surprise, the door also opens immediately after I knocked. 

I sigh, collecting myself, which is pointless as the cocaine peaks in my system and brings the ecstasy alive again.

If I go through with this, it's going to be a long and eventful night.

⋆   
⋆


	50. mature

Ecstasy running wild in my system, the cocaine heightening the already present drug and a euphoric peak from the cocaine rushes rapidly through my drug riddled veins, creating all my systems defensive walls of the ability of resistance and compulsion to my own impulses, but the easy ability is conquered and I know this will become messy very quickly— in the good way or the bad way. 

With my mind unable to thoughtfully judge my choices, I swallow my concerns of coming off as desperate and needy, allowing the drugs to vanquish my worries.

Immediately stepping into Draco's dorm, I hear him audibly groan from my presence and I roll my eyes, the door shutting behind me with a click. "Winters, why are you here?" Draco questions, I glance up from the floor and make instant eye contact with him, the wet feeling in my panties already present from just his eyes.

Dear God... 

Draco's sitting in the middle of his king size bed, his back resting against the headboard with a book in his hands, which he places on the nightstand while I saunter towards him. I gulp, my eyes accidentally fixating upon his bare chest and the noticeable V line from his sweatpants low on his hips. I look back up, a cocky smirk on his lips and his silver gaze eyeing me with amusement, seeming intrigued to be known with my intentions of being here. 

I stand by the side of his bed, fiddling with the hem of my skirt and gazing at Draco, pleading with my eyes for him to understand what I want and for him to give it to me. Unintentionally drawing my bottom lip between my teeth, I notice Draco's amusement only increase with each passing second of me desperately and embarrassingly standing by his bed.

"If you use your words princess, then I might give you what you want." Draco stood up from his bed, standing awfully close to me and his height towering over my much smaller size. I gulp when his hand grips my chin, roughly lifting my face up and forcing me to make eye contact with him. His stormy eyes flicker over my own, the amusement in his expression grows to an immense level. "You're high?" He raises his eyebrows in question, I chew on my lip nervously.

"Maybe." I smile to conceal the smirk that tried to emerge, then start innocently rocking on the heels of my feet while he observes me fervently and his eyebrows furrowing, the grip he has on my chin heightens in pressure.

"On?" Draco queries, I slowly lick my bottom lip to restrain myself.

"Ecstasy and coke." I admit, his eyebrows raising now. 

He smirks momentarily, then his entire demeanour hardens and his features turn cold along with harsh aspects. His hand releases my chin, "Knees, now." Draco orders sternly, gazing up at him for a second or two while I scrap the resistance to his demands— but I immediately lose all my confidence and ability to resist him, he conquers me again.

I drop to my knees, the typical shoot of pain you'd feel from the swift descend was void and the drugs truly have taken over my systems, I'm focused on one thing and one thing only...

Fuck Draco Malfoy like it's the last time I ever will. 

His finger tips graze along the side of my face before meeting beneath my chin and his thumb runs across my bottom lip, the coolness of his touch inducing me to sigh in relief and relax from this finally happening after so many weeks. Draco plies his thumb into my mouth, his bottom lip held amidst his teeth while he watches me allow his thumb to move into my mouth however not permitting me to suck, just endure it.

"Coke and ecstasy usually make you more confident, but you princess.. you still weaken under my touch." Draco smirks, pressing his thumb against my tongue and grazing it over my bottom teeth as he takes his thumb away, dragging my bottom lip down and staring in amusement. 

"Can you blame me?" I mutter, my eyes captivated on his argentine gaze whilst he looked down on me, his smirk only growing from my eventual words.

Draco rakes his fingers softly through my hair, "Are you going to admit you can't resist me, Raven?" 

I gulp, "I can't resist you, Draco."

"Good girl," His fingers continue brushing away the stray strands from my face, "Now, beg for it princess, or you won't get what you want."

Gazing up at Draco with brewing lust and the increasing unbearable craving for his touch, I part my lips to speak but the words refuse to escape from my throat and insist on lodging there. Closing my lips again, I sigh deeply and focus on the drugs pumping through my veins. "Draco, please just touch me. Please, I can't hold back anymore, I need to feel you." The words slip off my tongue like magic, ecstasy and cocaine have finally decided to join in on the fun and assist me.

Draco's smirk morphs to a pleased smile, his thumb stroking along my temple as he kept his cold hand against my face. "See, that wasn't too hard." He murmurs, rubbing his thumb soothingly across my tingling skin. "Strip then suck my cock, love." Draco smirks again, my eyes slightly widening and I blink up at him in bewilderment. 

Grasping reality and allowing the drugs to control me, I bite my bottom lip to compel back the thirst for his touch. I hook my fingers under my scanty crop top, hauling it over my head and aimlessly dropping it to the floor on my left. Continuing to gaze up innocently at Draco, I unzip my skirt and nudge it down my thighs, then lift one knee at a time as I remain on my knees for him and easily remove my skirt, lazily leaving it wherever it went. About to tug my red g-string off, Draco stops me. "Leave that." He orders, so I take my fingers away from the thin fabric.

Draco keeps his hand on the side of my friend, softly stroking his thumb along my temple and seemingly wanting me to do all the work, and I'm going to give him what he wants. Hooking my fingers beneath the waistband of his grey sweatpants, I gulp and drag down the fabric, in which is large dick springs against his stomach and my eyes widen when I realise how big he is. Draco smirks, nodding at me to continue. 

Wrapping my hand gently around the base, I lift myself on my knees slightly to compensate with his height, then flatly glide my tongue from base to tip and enthral my eyes on Draco's gaze as he sharply sucks in a breath. He uses both hands to rake my hair from my face, his touch is soft and soothing, but his eyes tell a different story— they appeared to be brimmed with lust and hunger, he clearly feels the same way but wanted me to break first and he succeeded.

I bring his tip to my lips, twirling my tongue around in circles while he draws his bottom lip amidst his teeth and firmly bites down, the silver eyes of his on mine with desire. Licking up and down his cock in a slow pace, teasing him and having to hold back my smirk, he sighs in alleviation when I take his tip into my mouth. I enclose my lips around him, sucking lightly on the sensitive skin as though it were a lolly pop. Pushing his dick further into my mouth, fixating my gaze on his as I take his size inch by inch. 

With only a few inches left, knowing I'll have to work up to that, I begin bobbing my head and Draco's sharp breaths fill the still air of the dorm, occasionally hearing a subtle groan escape his lips. Picking up my pace, Draco's picks up his rough manners and gathers my hair into a makeshift ponytail, tightly gripping at my roots however he doesn't push my head, only moves along with me. Bobbing up and down on his large dick at a faster pace, his size sliding with ease from my saliva, then something clicks inside of him and he shoves my head down to take all of him.

"Fuck—" He breathes, I moan from this force that I craved, Draco smirks evilly down on me while he starts to guide me harder and quicker into him. 

With mere whimpers of mine being muffled by his large cock being slammed down my throat with aggression, I place my hands on atop of my thighs and allow him to throat fuck me. My murmured sounds of moans and whimpers vibrate against his dick, causing him to grasp my hair tighter and thrust his hips forward, forcing me to bear the tears streaming down my cheeks and the faint gagging. 

"This is what you've been missing out on, princess, did you miss this?" Draco grunts, I faintly nod in response. 

From my hands on my thighs as I allow him to make me look like a mess, I dig my nails into my skin while his cock slams further and harder down my throat, the soreness in my throat from his rough shoves causes it to become sensitive and my eyes tear up even more from the sweet agony. With prickling eyes of tears, a sore throat and nails digging into my skin, I mentally sigh in relief from the eventual harsh sensations that I craved to feel for weeks.

I tortured myself for holding back from Draco, this is what I waited for and I'm never stopping myself ever again. It's just too good.

His pace slows to a mere nothingness, yanking my head back by his rough hold on my hair and releasing my hair from the makeshift ponytail, it now being messily tousled with few tangles. His hand grips my chin again, keeping it in place while he begins to slowly jerk himself off. "Look at you princess, such a little slut for me, aren't you?" Draco spits out, my core erupts with a kaleidoscope of bustling butterflies, my eyes glistening for him to touch me.

"Yes, I'm a slut for you." I feel a single tear trail down my cheek, Draco uses his free hand to wipe it away and he smirks. 

I can feel myself getting turned on even more by every passing second, his piercing silver gaze on mine as his hand slides effortlessly up and down his dick that's covered in my spit. The pool in my underwear is growing quickly, a soaking sensation dampening my thighs from my kneeling position.

Bucking my hips, trying to relieve the tension in my core but something wet slaps across my cheek and my eyes widen when I realise what he said. Draco smirks, enjoying my reaction so he slaps his cock against my cheek for the second time. "Getting impatient, princess?" Draco questions, I furrow my brows to conceal my need for him.

I nod, "Please just fuck me."

"Stand up." He demands, I instantly listen and stand up, my petite size being consumed beneath his intimidating presence. Draco cups my face in both hands, leaning down and crashes his lips against mine. I melt into his touch, moving my arms over his shoulders and wrapping them behind his neck, propping myself onto my tippy-toes and hauling up so he wouldn't have to lean down. As our lips are locked on one another's, his icy hands part from my face and slowly trace over every aspect of my figure before fiddling with my panties, then drawing them off my hips and they descend to the floor.

His hands contact with the back of my thighs, where he lifts me up with ease and I coil my legs around his waist, pulling my body to closer to his and feel my breasts press up against his chest. Draco turns around, stepping a few times before my back collides harshly upon the wall. He keeps one hand under me, supporting my weight incase I slip on the wall, and the other shifts around to soaking pussy. His middle finger slides between my folds, he lowly chuckles into the kiss before drawing back, the darkened stare of his piercing into mine. "Fuck, I've missed you." Draco kisses my jawline, trailing to my pulse point on my neck and licking it gently. 

"Me too, Draco." I sigh into his touch, the feeling of his finger against my pussy and his lips brushing along the sensitive skin of my neck. The tip of his finger begins circling over my clit roughly, causing my body to jolt from the strength and abruptness.

Draco harshly sucks and bites at my neck, he instantly knows where my weak spot is and his lips are creating artworks of purple bruises and little marks on the area. His pressure on her clit surges, my back arches against him and I grip at his platinum hair, a soft moan escaping my lips from the increasing strength rubbing circles along my clit. "Fuck.." I whimper, digging my nails into his shoulder and the other hand tugging at his soft hair. "Draco?" 

"Yes, princess?" Draco purrs, proceeding to scatter my neck with deep and incredibly visible bruises of purples shades. 

"Please fuck me." I whisper beside his ear and I feel his smirk against my neck, drawing up and watching my face in amusement. 

Draco shifts his hand from my clit to his stiff cock, "Look at me while I fuck you." He demands coldly, I position my hands on his shoulders and meet his eyes, immediately becoming under his control and fixating my gaze on his darkened silver iris's. 

I gasp quietly when Draco slips his tip up and down my pussy, his eyes strongly on mine while he pushes his tip into me and I wince, gripping his shoulder and digging my nails into his skin. Furrowing my brows in sheer pleasure, he thrusts his whole dick into me with one motion and I whimper in response, still obeying him and maintaining eye contact. 

As he situates one hand on my arse, then the other snakes up to my neck and squeezes tightly, his pace grows to a steady speed but soon increases by triple when he bites his lip firmly. "You're— so tight." He groans, biting his lip harder as he shoves deeper inside me, his eyes captivated by my reaction to his cock diving harder and sharper inside of my tight core.

"Fuckkkk— Draco, I missed this so much." I whimper, unable to keep my eyes on his any longer as my head tilts back against the wall, my eyes rolling from the surging pleasureful pain with me. I feel tighter than the first time we fucked, this sweet agony is still drowning me completely and I utterly weaken under him. The pain somewhat hurt, however it feels euphoric at the same time.

"Don't.. you ever fucking— leave again, I ... swear to god, Ray." Draco breathes through low moans, his dick striking my cervix and I scream in pleasure, my nails creating crescent moons into the pale skin of his shoulders.

I cry out in gratification, "I won't!" The pleasure mixes with the ecstasy and cocaine, causing a perfect concoction of sensations to brew inside me and build up towards my climax, which I could already feel. 

Draco picks up the pace, my back sliding abrasively against the wall from his increasing motion, the room filled with heavy breathing, whimpers and soft moans, skin slapping against skin and occasional cries of pleasure. From his quickening motion, he strikes my g-stop rougher than ever and I cry out from the sweet agony. 

Tears begin flowing down my cheeks again, the mascara staining my ivory cheeks and trailing over my jawline then travel down my bruised neck. Draco places both hands on my arse and supports me while he steps to his clean desk, slamming my back against the hard wood and shoving his dick deeper inside of my tightening walls. 

My back arches off the desk, however Draco has other plans and swiftly moves his hands to my waist. Holding my down on the desk, I lock my ankles behind his back to ensure I wouldn't slip. I grasp the edge of the wooden desk, needing something to clasp desperately to relieve myself from screaming out loudly. Draco's hands shift once again, one hand travels up to neck and squeezes firmly, barely allowing me to breathe but I loved the sensation. His other hand rests in the curve of my waist, pressing his nails into my skin aggressively.

Mascara mixes with my tears and continue escaping from the corner of my shut eyes, slipping down the side of my face from the new position on my back. Draco drives himself into me with power and force, the strength soon to break the dress I'm harshly pinned on by two large and strong hands. "Holy shit— you feel so fucking good." Draco groans, his nails engraving further into the skin of my waist and I throw my head back from the beautiful pain soaring into my core, my bruised and tender neck as well as my waist.

Each minute his thrusts only increase in power, plunging deeper and deeper into my pussy, striking my cervix and g-stop every single time. The pace heightens as well, my head knocks upon the brick wall behind me and the edge of the desk digs into my lower spine. I can feel my climax brewing and it's soon to burst out, the sensations about to surge through me.

"Draco!" I scream, his shoves heightening in strength and his cock strikes my g-stop, my whole body twitches from the aggressive power into me. "I'm go—gonna fucking cum." I whimper, the pressure inducing me to sob.

"Fuck— are you crying my little slut?" Draco purrs, releasing his grasp from my waist and my body jolts as Draco's assertively rubs his thumb in circles over my clit, the pleasure doubling. 

"Yes! I am!" My orgasm grows nearer, soon to push over the brink and drown me completely.

Draco groans, "Fucking cum for me, princess, cum." He demands with pure dominance, his voice stern and hand around my throat grows in pressure. His thumb presses on my clit harshly, inducing my climax to unexpectedly rush through my body and my back arches off the desk. Screams of pleasure escape my lips, sighing heavily with my released climax.

His thrusts remain strong and powerful for a few more seconds, my body convulsing from Draco overstimulating my tender pussy. As his climax shoots against my tightened walls, I relax upon the wooden desk and breathe deeply as I collect myself. Draco takes himself out of my core, hauling his sweatpants onto his hips and situating his hands around my waist; Pansy was right, he really could nearly wrap his hands perfectly around my waist. 

He picks me up, my legs lazily around his hips and he walks towards his bed, carefully placing me on the mattress. 

"Fuck, Draco." I sigh, managing to gather enough strength to sit up. 

Draco hands me one of his shirts, I smile and put his shirt on. "I needed that." Draco admits, getting into the bed beside me and hauling the covers over us.

"I could tell." I giggle, snuggling into the warm sheets and nudging closer to Draco. 

Draco tugs me against his chest, "Did I hurt you?" He asks with worry, I rest my head on his shoulder and sigh deeply. 

"In the good way, yes." I peacefully lay beside Draco, this exact scenario making me wish it was easy for us to be together.

But if we clearly like each other this much, what if we tried? 

⋆   
⋆


	51. Chapter 51

I slept with Draco— and my god did we definitely fuck like it was way overdue. 

The pain is worth it, all the various bruises, deep or faint in sight, that now scatter the ivory skin of my figure are entirely significant and deserved. Each one shows the aggression of last night and how much we craved one another, it is all painted over my whole body. With a glimpse at different areas of my frame, you would most likely see a mark from last nights happening.

My necks sprinkled with five individual marks in the shape of an oval or lopsided circles, all of which a deep purple and specks of red from my skin repairing itself. There's one on the left side of my neck, four on the right, clearly displaying marks of fingertips— It's quite noticeable as well, however I suppose I can't expect there to be no marks since Draco's hold on my neck was ruthless; it was bound to create marks.

The skin of my lower back, mostly in the area around my spine is home to a rather large bruise, it's colour growing to a faint green and presently being dark purple. Clearly, the force of my back bashing against the edge of the wooden desk was much rougher than I thought, considering the bruise is harsher in size and colour compared to what I had imagined. Honestly, I wasn't expecting a mark to show from it, however I evidently thought wrong. 

Not only that, I have little bruises on the curve of my waist from Draco's tight hold on my skin, the vague sight of crescent moons are also accompanying the small red and purple marks. Many other bruises scatter my body, however my neck, back and waist display the most than any other part of my body— I like it though, for reasons completely unknown to me.

With Draco's arm draped over my chest, cheekily sprawled across a particular area; my breasts— I peer at the shiny, metal watch on his wrist and easily read the time from the glint of the rising sun on the watches glass surface. 7:26am, It read. 

I roll onto my right side from my back, gently and slowly shifting my position in hopes I wouldn't wake Draco up. Thankfully, he remains asleep and his arm still draped over my side, but more on my waist now. Draco's laying on his stomach, the left side of his face nuzzled into the grey silky pillow and giving me all the striking sights of his features from facing towards me. His other arm is hidden under the pillow with his veiny hand poking out from between the headboard and the pillow, flopped against the soft, fluffy cushion and his fingertips narrowly touching the ends of his messy hair.

Like always, his velvety lips that I craved to touch were parted ajar and exhale warm breathes. I smile, the sight of his facial features all desolate from tension and annoyed aspects are so pleasing, utterly heavenly to wander your eyes over and examine how serene he was when he slept.

Unable to keep my hands to myself, needing to feel the slight rush of weird sensations through my body, I carefully bring my hand up to his face and caress the tips of my fingers along his temple. Slowly, I graze further to the start of his jawline, where I glide along his jaw and ending where the pillow met his face. 

He's just so— beautiful. 

Suddenly, I feel my features drop from the saddening display of ghastly bruises in shades of greens and intense purples that are exposed on his entire right side. The sheets were resting where the waistband of his sweatpants rested, showing me all the dreadful marks on his ribs. 

I sigh, somewhat annoyed that I hadn't seen them before, however I hold back my empathy as I know the sad actuality of trying to relate with Draco— He will push me away, get angry or say something mean.. and things feel good between us right now, despite that we haven't talked about last night yet. 

Stupidly, or maybe I deserve this feeling, I feel incredibly guilty about every aspect of right now and the last few hours. Pansy promised she'd be okay with me getting with Draco, I even got her a quick hook up so I wouldn't feel this way— but I still do. Draco and I clearly want more than a quick fuck, it's evident and we're probably both nonsensical to disregard it. However, Pansy and Romilda Vane hooking up possibly meant absolutely nothing other than sex— which is why this is all so unfair.

Draco and I have feelings involved. 

Pansy and Romilda Vane do not.

I need to be honest with Pansy when I see her soon, this is unfair and I shouldn't be doing this to her. 

Everything's so fucked up. 

I like Pansy, a lot. She's easily one of the best things that's happened to me since I've been here and undoubtedly one of the best people I've met at this school. Of course, I've met many wonderful and amazing people, but Pansy is just— something else. 

Luna's astonishing, truly. As is Ivy and Angel, I could honestly say I love those two girls. Theo's sweet, he seems perfect for Vesper and we have funny chats about the most random topics when I get high with him and Vesper. Everyone that I have met have done wonders in making my first few weeks of experiences at Hogwarts to be forgotten, they turned it all around and I actually enjoy being here.

But Pansy, I can't even think of the perfect word to describe her. I mean, we kissed on the first time I ever talked to her. She is so sweet, even though she told me of her embarrassing behaviour in first year to fourth, I see past that and only see the kind girl that I've been known with. With the incidents with Astoria, she didn't care about her reputation and speaks her mind, along with acting her mind; Kissing me in the hall in front of Astoria and announcing to her about 'Dildos'. She protected me, actually saved me from getting dragged back home and didn't think twice before helping me even more; pretend dating to halt Astoria in chasing my tail.

Alongside all the kind, wonderful things she does for me, that are appropriate— we can't forget to mention the sex. She showed me how to pleasure a girl, using visual learning as well, which made it all so much better. The sex is amazing, it's somewhat shocking how good you can feel with just fingers and tongues.

It's just great, she's great. 

I actually like her, however I also like Draco— and it's annoying. Not that I like him, but more of the fact that I like them both and it's truly difficult to deal with. 

Pansy is safe, I won't get hurt for being with her. 

Draco makes me feel safe, but he isn't safe at all. I'll get hurt, hauled back home and hurt again.

But, I've always liked him, which makes everything even worse. I don't think I could ever make my mind up, and I despite myself for it.

"Done staring?" Draco asks, his gravely voice of hoarse tones rings through my ears like heaven.

"No." I admit, shifting my eyes from the bruises on his ribs to his silver gaze that's observing me with intent. Stupidly, I glance at the bruises once more and regret it as Draco's notices where my focus is. 

He sighs lowly, "Stop looking at them." 

I gulp, "Are you okay?" Sitting up, sprawling my legs to the left and propping my arm against the mattress to support myself, my eyes land on Draco's again while he shifts to lay on his back.

"Yes." He says bluntly, I twist my lips to the side from being unsure of what to say. Watching one side of his lips perk up, I furrow my brows in confusion. "Are you?" Draco raises his brows, making me smile at him.

"Would you like a quick tour on the marks on me?" I ask, tilting my head slightly in question. 

Draco smirks, "Of course."

I clear my throat, shuffling on the mattress slightly to get comfortable. "Firstly, you have my neck— and it honestly looks like an attempted murder." I rake my fingers through my hair, then hold it back in my hand for easy sight of the marks that shroud my neck.

"It suits you." He shrugs, I roll my eyes in response. "Continue."

"Next," I begin, letting my hair go and moving my hands to the hem of the shirt I am wearing. Hooking my fingers beneath the fabric, I lift it up to show the small and vague bruises on my hips. "These aren't that bad." I purse my lips, then hoist my shirt up even higher to expose my waist. 

I glance up at Draco, who's smirking with pride, "Then this." I say, hiding back my smile and tugging at the skin of my waist to review the little cuts and bruises. 

Swivelling around, lifting the back of the shirt and displaying the large bruise on my lower back. "This one is really big." I chuckle through my words, my body freezes when the icy touch of his hand traces over the skin of my lower back. 

"Damn." Draco merely says, continuing to graze the tips of his fingers along the green and purple bruise. I turn back around, facing him with a smile on my face. "Clearly enjoyed it then?" 

I scoff, "I still look like you beat me up." 

Draco rolls his eyes, sitting up and leaning his back against the wooden headboard, his stormy gaze fixated on mine with amusement and a somewhat query. "Draco?" I warily manage to utter, earning a vague hum from him to imply he's listening. Building up the composure inside me, bearing the words that I'm soon to voice, I crawl onto his lap and sit upright on his hips, being careful of the bruises on his sides. "Who's the Layla girl to you?" I ask, dreading to hear the worst possible answer.

"What do you mean?" Draco questions me, placing his hand on my thigh and soothingly grazes his thumb along my skin.

I gulp, "Does she mean anything to you?"

"No." He replies, I shift my gaze back up to meet his eyes and I twist my lips to the side in nerves. "Why would she?"

"Um— she told me that she's going to take you from all the girls.." I furrow my brows, anxiously glancing at him while I talk. "Then said you called me an inbreed that's obsessed with you..." Fiddling with the hem of my shirt, occasionally grazing across Draco's stomach from my nervous fidgeting, however my movement is stopped when his cool hands grasp mine.

His eyebrows furrow, "Layla's just like that— she was alright but it was a one time thing." Draco releases my hands from his own after he notes that I had calmed down, "—And I didn't say that, she's lying."

"Okay." I smile, believing every word he said. "She's like another Astoria." I joke, inducing his lips to perk into a small smile.

"She is." He shrugs, however his eyebrows furrow once more. "What's wrong?"

I blink in confusion, "Nothings wrong?" I lie, knitting my eyebrows back at him in my own confusion, which is also a lie. 

Pansy. I want to talk about Pansy with him. 

He'll probably not want to talk about her. Unequivocally, Pansy is competition to Draco, and it's the same for Pansy too. I'm not worthy of being a competition nor deserve the fondness of two people, it's something I don't respectively fit for. Besides, the fact that the two are pureblood's will enrage my father, I am not worthy of either of them.

Last night, I promised Draco that I would never leave him again— meaning I won't have second thoughts on our friendship and push him away into the dark again.

I stick to my promises, even if this particular promise was made while incredibly high and being fucked senseless.

"Okay— something is wrong." I allow the truth to escape, his shrilling stare displayed that he didn't believe me at all and clearly understood that I was bothered by things. There was no way I could hide it, so might as well be honest.

Plus, I trust him and I'm sure he trusts me— I shouldn't lie to him.

"What is it?" Draco queries, the coolness of his hands contact with my knees and slowly glide along my goosebumped thighs.

"Pansy," I confide, my eyes remain on Draco's with sincerity to how jumbled I feel about her. "You probably don't even want to hear this, I—"

"No, I do," Quickly, he interrupts me from blurting out frantic and nonsensical excuses to stall this conversation, however Draco seems like he's not allowing that to happen. "Tell me everything, I'll listen."

Shakily, I exhale, "She likes me, Draco. I like her too, but I also fucking like you. I don't know what to do, I'll hurt you or her with whatever I choose to do— and I can't do that." I immediately disclose, my concerns on the topic rolling off my tongue clearly and desperately; in a way that my body was drowning and needed to let this out, or I'd be utterly consumed by it. "It's hurting me, she's safe to be with and you aren't. But— But, I can't.. I don't know."

"We can't be together, you know that." Draco speaks out the truth, "Maybe in the future or some shit, but we can't."

I nod faintly, "I know."

Draco sighs loudly, bringing his hand off my thigh and rakes his fingers through his icy blond hair with purposeful thought. "Fuck, I don't know, Ray. Stay with Pansy, you seem happy with her."

"I am." I bite the inside of my cheek, absolutely unsure of what to do. "But... you."

"What about me?" His silver eyes pierce into my own, appearing to be attempting to figure me out.

I frown, "I— I don't want to just leave you."

Draco quietly huffs, "You wouldn't be."

"Maybe I should talk to Pansy." I murmur, bringing my hands to my eyes and rubbing my palms gently against them. 

"Good idea." Draco instantly agrees, sitting himself up and shifting beneath me. Then, out of the blue, his arms wrap around my waist and upper back. 

Shocked by the randomness and weird action, I easily lift my arms that were softly pinned against my sides, then coil my arms behind his neck and comfortably lay my head upon his shoulder. "It's fucked that shit is like this, but maybe one day it'll be okay." Draco mutters beside my ear, I relax into his warm embrace and close my eyes in contentment, feeling completely safe in his arms.

"I hope so." I whisper.

⋆ ⋆

Thankfully, however weirdly without efforts, I snuck out of Draco's dorm after around thirty minutes since our conversations started. Sneaking out at the daring time of nearly eight o'clock was relatively alarming, however the common room was silent and the dormitory corridors of both girls and boys were sparse of any students. Completely and utterly hushed. 

It was strange, students were typically awake at eight o'clock since breakfast begins very soon, breakfast starting thirty minutes later on weekends. But, there wasn't a single student awake.

After I successfully made it to the girls dormitory corridor and in front of my dorm door, I had second thoughts and plodded towards the dorm that was three doors down— Pansy's. She had charmed the door to allow me to enter, so I easily managed to get inside the room. I had cuddled up beside her after placing my clothes from last night on the ottoman at the end of the bed. I had quickly fallen asleep with the help from her cosy body heat and, needless to say, simply just her presence. Notwithstanding that my mind was awake, sleep still came effortless. 

Constructing on the correct and appropriate words to say towards Pansy in relations to Draco, wanting and hoping that I seemed sincere with what I'd to speak. To be honest, Pansy is amongst the most understanding person I have ever lucked into knowing, along with accepting faults or mistakes reasonably quickly— despite the possibility that the mistake may be detrimental and miserable, causing a rotten feeling to brew within her, she would still find ways to grant an amnesty to the wrongdoing.

That's probably why I'm so fond of her. 

In numerous ways, us two are naturally unconditional opposites. Being feckly meticulous together, fitting with one another like fries and milkshakes— two complete and clear opposites, but mixing perfectly together. Presumably that's why we get along so well, we're essentially harmonious in each others presence. We haven't really argued much, only childish bickering on silly topics of best lolly or ice cream flavour, nothing too intense and drastic that'd cause crying or yelling— which I guess is a good thing.

Either way, I'm certain that whatever I say to Pansy will run smoothly and stay void of arguments. Plus, what I'm planning on telling her isn't wholly offending or hurtful, it's mostly revolving on shamefully questioning her on where to go from here and how everything will work out. 

I'll tell her about Draco, along with the conversation him and I had this morning, furthermore all the overwhelming feelings I hold for both Draco and Pansy. 

Actually, I just really need her help. I know she'll understand, it probably won't even bother her to hear that I still like Draco, she'd essentially want to assist me with understanding myself and possibly everything else for that matter.

Regardless of feelings and the choice I'll loathsomely make, my heart will ache either way.

⋆ ⋆ 

3:42pm, an hour and eighteen minutes to the Winter Wonderland dance.

Somewhat fortunately, Pansy and I woke up rather late; that being at roughly a few minutes until the clock struck twelve in the afternoon. We laid in silence for a mere moment, then emerged from the comfy and cosy sheets. For some reason, the discussion on last night hadn't been brought up after awakening, nor when we sat in the common room for a little while, or even the time we had alone time at the Great Hall when we went for late lunch.

Not a sole word had been uttered about any relations to last night, which I found really strange. Maybe I'll be brought up later? When we know we'd definitely be alone and not interrupted? There isn't a reason to the silence on the topic, we weren't having a comedown from the blissful drug called ecstasy nor the cocaine that I took, Pansy charmed it so the bad effects wouldn't transpire and we'd not feel sick or anything. Nonetheless, I decided not to ponder on it too hard and enjoy her happy, beaming presence.

Presently, I'm in my dorm for once with Angel and Ivy, watching the two girls doll themselves up for the night ahead. Honestly, I missed their company and felt like spending time with them, plus Pansy said she was 'doing something important' and that I wasn't allowed to know what it is nor accompany her. So, it gave me time to hang out with Ivy and Angel.

I had been thinking on asking them for their opinions or assistance on the current nightmare I'm consciously living, that being my feelings for two people and absolutely clueless on what to do.

I lay on Angel's bed, my legs dangling off the side of the mattress and my eyes fixated on the stone ceiling in intent thought. Ivy and Angel were sitting in front of the large, floor length mirror that was opposite the side of Angel's bed and to the right of the bathroom door, being in a good location as the two would endlessly wandering from the bathroom and mirror. Apparently they kept forgetting makeup brushes and products, which isn't surprising funnily enough.

"Can I ask a hypothetical question and receive honest answers? Not silly ones?" I query, keeping my eyes riveted on the ceiling as I know I'll focus better if I do. 

"Sure." Angel says first, followed by Ivy agreeing with an of course.

"If you liked two people, where one of them ensured your safety from people and the other would try keep your safe but it's still dangerous, what would you do?" I ask, possibly trickily for that matter considering it's a difficult question. "Keep in mind that you like them both a lot and you want to be safe, but you also want to be with the dangerous one."

Ivy sighs audibly, "I'd fuck the dangerous one while continuing to cover it by dating the safe one."

Obviously, they'd immediately comprehend it wasn't 'hypothetical', it's too exact and they already know of the situation. But, I asked hypothetically because they'd might think of themselves in the scenario, at least that's what I hoped.

"I actually agree with Ivy," Angel eventually says after a mere five seconds on pondering. "If the safe one likes me and I like them back, there's no harm in staying with them. Possibly if the dangerous one became safe to publicly date then drama would occur, but for the mean time I'd continue what I'm doing."

I groan in annoyance to myself and my stupid feelings, "Ugh— it's all so fucked up." 

"We know, Pansy will understand if you like him still though." Ivy announces. 

"Maybe you're right." Softly, I rub the tips of my index and middle fingers over my temples to relieve the tension induced by stressing.

Angel snickers playfully, "Of course we are, its the best choice."

Ivy hums in agreement to Angel, "Also, it's four, you should go get ready."

"Smart idea." Shuffling off Angel's bed, I smile at the two who briefly turned around to face me. 

"It'll be fine." Angel reassures, I nod faintly in appreciation and wander to the other side of the dorm, then exit and make my way to Pansy's dorm.

⋆ ⋆

Twenty minutes passed, I had the stunning dress that Pansy bought on my figure, enthralling my eyes upon my appearance in the floor length mirror in Pansy's dorm. It fit perfectly on me, almost strange how well it accentuates every aspect of my body. 

The pale, peachy beige colour of the fabric complements my ivory skin beautifully, not appearing it to be pasty or dull, but instead glowing and bringing out the subtle rose tones in my complexion. With the corset top being tight fitting, it flatters my waist and cinches in with the curve amazingly. Alongside that, the slight push-up in the corset has lifted my breasts and making them to appear impeccably perky, as well as more full and blessing me with favourable cleavage.

Honestly, Pansy was right, I do look like a princess.

I hear a quiet, but clear, knock on the door, and I glance over my shoulder while the door lightly swings open by itself, the mystery evidently being Pansy. 

My eyes widen when she steps into the room looking absolutely gorgeous. Her dress is hugging her body beautifully, just how it did when she tried it on in the store, however it appears more striking this time— possibly from the built up feelings I have for her. She wore glossy black heels, definitely three or four inches of height added to her from the heels alone.

Pansy smiles, her cheeks glowing a faint pink while she easily steps towards me in the insane heels of hers. With her now closer to me, I notice the simple makeup she had on. A clear, gloss lipstick swiped on her lips, the glow of the gloss twinkling in the light, as well as the subtle glitter across her eyelids that were accompanied with a defined eyeliner wing and non-clumpy mascara. Her makeup is vague, but stunning and perfectly just right.

"You look so pretty." I pout in a way that it's unfair, causing Pansy to giggle softly. 

"So do you." Pansy smiles, standing directly in front of me and her height zooming upwards above my own, which feels strange seeing as we were always eye level with one another. "Don't worry, I have heels for you too."

I scoff, "I can't walk in heels."

Pansy looks over her shoulder while she saunters to the entry of the walk-in-robe, I roll my eyes and trail behind her, then lean against the archway of the entry. Carefully, she crouches down and ferrets around the numerous pairs of heels that she owns before swiftly grasping a white pair. Pansy smiles, standing up with ease and stepping the few feet between us then holding the pair in front of her, giving me sight of the heels.

They appear to be the same length heel as Pansy, which is good but also alarming, I've never wore heels nor had it ever crossed my mind that I'd want to wear them— however, it's evident that I am tonight and I'll have to quickly learn how to walk in them.

Pansy and I sit on the edge of her bed, where she instantly leans down and begins sliding the white, strappy heels into my feet. In her full concentration fixated on looping the thin straps flawlessly up my ankle and a little further up my leg, Pansy eventually finishes putting the heels on and tying the straps perfectly up my ankles.

She stands up, moving in front of me and holding her hands out. I exhale, clutching her hands tightly before raising to my feet. Wobbling for a quick moment, then grasping the ability to stand while wearing heels. "See? It's easy." Pansy beams, beginning to walk straight and I hesitantly trail behind her, still clasping her hand in mine and dropping the other to my side.

Weirdly, and shockingly, I get ahold of the wobbles of my feet and manage to walk quite easily, Pansy grins happily when she realises I wangled the stability to walk well in the heels. "This is sort of easy." I admit, the shakes of my feet completely vanished as I reach the other side of her dorm.

"Told you." Pansy shrugs, then momentarily peers away from my eyes and to the clock on her wall. "Jeez— It's twenty minutes until it starts."

"That was quick." I tug the corset top upwards, repositioning to rest comfortably and flatteringly. "Can I talk to you about something before we go?"

Pansy furrows her brows before nodding in affirmation, then guides me to her bed where we perch ourselves on the edge. "Is this about last night?" Pansy ponders, keeping her fingers intertwined with mine. 

"Yeah," I nod, then sigh as I begin to speak. "Draco and I, we—"

She grins, interrupting me, "I know, your neck gives it away."

I smile, "It sure does, but this is about how things will go from here..?" Nervously, I say however it came out sounding more like a question.

"Oh— right, well.. I really like you and I know you like Draco still, but I'm fine with it as long as you tell me if you two fuck again, okay?" Pansy purses her lips, somewhat appearing saddened by Draco and I, but I push it to the back of my mind.

"I will, you know I wouldn't keep it from you." I nudge her shoulder, her smile reappears and sends warmth through my body from the kind smile of hers. "So you're okay with it?"

Pansy nods, "Yeah, of course." 

⋆  
⋆


	52. Chapter 52

Pansy and I's brief discussion on Draco, and everything to do with him, had been extremely relieving. I didn't entirely want to mention it at all, but she needed to know the truth and be aware of all the feelings that were involved. She seemed to understand, well she definitely suggested herself as accepting the situation. 

However, the clear melancholy that clouded across her tan features caused me to be wary of her acceptance, and prompting me to believe that she might've told me what I wanted to hear; instead of the actual truth. 

Maybe I'm overanalysing the whole conversation and making a hasty assessment about the aggregate, regardless of my mind relentlessly jumping to negative conclusions, I have had years of reading people's expressions and Pansy's actually appeared crushed from dispirit. I could essentially hear the tender and earnest heart of hers break just from her broken expression.

And I feel horrible for it.

Pansy's kempt eyebrows were knitted, vague frown lines between her eyebrows and the arch in the structure of them downturned for the entire duration of the small chat. It was almost as if she'd been examining each word I spoke, picking the meaning and ruminating on them— just like how I usually did. She was assessing her own notions with intense and profound thought; her tensed expression displayed it all.

Above all her furrowed and constricted features that were seriously conspicuous, there was an uncharted coruscate in her hazel eyes that radiated ruinous signs of unnerved and weighed down after hearing what I spoke. The sight was something I had never, ever seen in her eyes before

— it worried me to a point where I felt gutted with what I said, furthermore feeling cheerless after I noticed the tenebrific brown tone swallowed the natural felicity in her gaze. All lush shades of forest greens that resembled fresh leaves in the Springtime, the numerous tinges of amber and golden browns which cindered in the bright sun, they were now dulled and sombre.

Visibly, Pansy didn't appear happy with the news, but she voiced exactly what I would've hoped to hear— alternatively plastering on a brave face and hiding away the truth. 

I want her to be honest, she's important to me. Hopefully, maybe knowingly, I am just as important to her, which is why I can't entirely comprehend the lie she told me.

The truth, I conveyed that I needed the brutal actuality of the relationship and where'd things go from after that night— but, unarguably, she fabricated the factuality and slapped on a fake demeanour that's she's unscratched by it.

Nonetheless, we're still together and I'll question her tomorrow when both our emotions aren't out of whack. We should have fun for the night before thoughtlessly creating any more confusion or, supposedly, unwanted drama.

⋆ ⋆

"You in a pretty dress is a rather striking sight," Cedric jokes, taking a seat beside me where Pansy once sat— but she went to retrieve the flask of 'fun juice' from her dorm, which she had forgotten. "Much different to the typical Raven that I've come to know."

I snicker, shoving his shoulder with mine while suppressing the smile that's attempting to emanate, "It's strange." I admit, peering up from the bustling students chatting and dancing in the centre of the stone floored room, my eyes fixated on Cedric's.

"What makes it strange?" His eyebrows knit together, creating faint lines on his forehead and the skin amidst his brows. He wore a rather plain suit, however it fitted him extremely well and induced his outfit to seem exquisite. It's a black and white tuxedo, the blazer and slacks deep with the dress shirt beneath a pristine white; a blue tie accompanied the suit, tying it all together and matching with Cho Chang's stunning blue dress.

"Used to my grubby converse and baggy jumpers." I chuckle lightly along with my breaths, Cedric smiles down warmly and sighs audibly in dissatisfaction to my slight negativity of being in an abnormal attire.

Cedric drapes his arm around me, lazily hanging his hand over my shoulder, the touch of his hand feels warm against my skin and I ease into the friendly contact. "I believe dolling yourself up for one night will not kill you." He softly laughs, bringing his hand to my upper arm and comfortably presses me closer to his side.

"Yes, you're right," I huff, sending him an appreciative smile before flickering my focus to the hoards of joyful students, all dressed so formal and marvellously. "Where's Cho? Don't you think she'll spin out if your with me and not her?" I puzzle, fluttering the curious gaze of mine upon the dancing girls and boys that are a few metres in front of us.

"Of course not, she knows I'm here, I told her." Cedric shrugs, his own eyes lingering over the excited students. "Where's Parkinson gone anyway?"

I roll my eyes, smiling, "Went to get her fun juice."

Cedric drops his arm from over my shoulders, "Looks like she's got her fun juice." He mocks, nudging me with his elbow before standing up, the sight of Pansy beaming and ambling towards us. "Have fun, Raven." Cedric nods, then departs from my presence and into the crowd.

"Assuming you got it?" I tilt my head in question, in which Pansy nods gleefully and stands in front of me with barely a foot between us.

"Do you want some?" Pansy asks, shaking the small metal flask opposite my face.

I shake my head side to side, "I'm good, thank you."

Pansy raises her brows, "Then shall we dance?" Her hand slips the flask into the charmed pocket of her dress, hiding the flask and not weighing down the dress, she holds her hand out and I smile as my hand locks with hers. 

We enthusiastically dive into the sea of dancing students, a scene much more modest compared to yesterday's wild motions. I'm not really sure how to dance, who knows if I can dance for that matter, but I don't wholly care; I'm here to have a good time, not worry on my ability to elegantly work my feet around Pansy's and avoid trodding on them.

Smiling, giggling and playfully twirling one another around in graceful spins for the duration of two erratic songs, the mood immediately changes with the change of song— being far more slower in beat and softer in volume, Pansy sends me a brief look before enchantingly placing her hands on either side of my waist, inducing me to sling my arms over her bare shoulders and the warmth of her skin soars spirals of tender sensation through my veins.

Interlocking my arms behind her neck by holding my wrist with one hand, the songs lyrics resonate harmoniously with my hearing as they slowly began. Students wrap and caress their dancing partners adoringly, eyes set on one another's with either respect or admiration, all moving smoothly to the languid melody.

"Have you danced before?" Pansy questions in hushed tones, leaning forward slightly to ensure her voice is kept quiet and not disturbing the tranquility around us.

I smile, "Nope, never."

Pansy's eyes widen, "Really? you seem to know what your doing." She shrugs her shoulders, speaking words of which I have heard before— some weeks ago.

"You've said the exact same thing a few weeks ago." I smirk, my celestial sapphire eyes focalised on Pansy's iridescent ones, the aforesaid dull cloud that gloomed over them had vanished and were now abounding in vivacious twinkles.

"Ray, you honestly surprise me every day." Pansy enthuses, the corners of her glossed lips pricking up slightly to display a subtle smile.

"I know." I softly giggle.

⋆ ⋆ 

Two hours swiftly pass, the sun had set and the ceiling of the Great Hall, where the dance was held, had been charmed with a bright and starry sky. Many students were still energetically dancing, as well as chatting and laughing with joy to one another.

A caught a strange sight barely one hour ago, which was Angel approaching myself and Ivy while we sat at our groups table, her arm linked with a particular Slytherin boy— Blaise Zabini. 

Weirdly, it was more expected than shocking. Angel told me how they joked and laughed with each other, even imparted the moments where the two would share loving gazes and the one occasion that they finally locked lips. Her eyes were sparkling with emotions of adoration while she spoke of Blaise and the moments they shared together, the enchanting cloud of exhilaration that casted across her eyes was something out of the ordinary

— I incontinently gathered that Angel was genuine, she actually liked Blaise and it appeared that he felt the same towards her. She seemed so happy with their arms linked, her eyes momentarily gazing up and twinkling as they enthralled on Blaise, she smiled at Blaise in a way that she had won the lottery; it was really cute if I'm honest, however, something occurred in the two hours that wasn't cute at all.

Forty minutes ago...

Sat at one of the many benches that were scattered around the perimeter of the Great Hall, accompanied by Ivy, who was wearing the most gorgeous of dresses. The entirely of the stunning gown was a midnight black, covered densely in minuscule glitter fragments and the light beamed off the sparkles magically. Her dress was truly glowing, along with fitting her figure faultlessly. The top was a corset, like mine, with sheer thick ribbons halting over her shoulders and tied into bows upon them. Her flowing skirt trailed down to the floor, running against the ground as she walked and glided elegantly behind her.

She's a princess, truly. 

But, almost immediately after I had viewed Ivy's luxurious dress, my conversation with her also drops due to the sight of two people in the centre of the dance floor; 

The dark blonde haired girl kept her dainty hands rested tenderly on his shoulders, occasionally squeezing while her crystal blue eyes held his own gaze, their lips moving as they absorbed themselves into the conversation.   
His own hands were securely on her waist, biting his lip periodically when he'd wander his eyes up and down her tall, curvy figure. He looked at her as though she was the most perfect and beautiful girl to ever walk the earth, which I suppose she actually is.

Her dress was black and elegant, the hem ending below her knee. It was rather inappropriate if I'm honest. The sleeves were long, however the deep V-cut top had passed down to the middle of her stomach, showing off her effortless cleavage and not leaving much to the imagination. Actually, the top of the dress seemed more like a body suit with a lacy, sheer and tight fitted skirt attached to it. 

How she got away with such a showy dress? I have no clue.

I held myself back from lashing out at the two, seeing as they were unfortunately people I could easily get infuriated with.

Draco and Layla-fucking-Murdock.

I felt betrayed. He promised me she meant nothing to him, that she was only an one time thing— but he lied. Their eyes focalised on one another's as though they were in love, like they held an unbreakable fondness for each other.

What is happening?

He promised me?

"Is that Draco?" Ivy gasped, placing her hand upon my thigh in protection; like she always appreciatively did. Her gasp was loud, filled with surprise and a vague loathing audible from the shocking sight. I laughed, then Ivy clutched my hand in hers and walked us to an area where they two weren't in sight.

end

So, that's a view I hoped to never see— also never expected it either. They seemed so comfortable in one another's touch, just like how Draco and I did behind closed doors, but that's the drastic difference between Layla and I. 

I can't be public with him, she can.

Layla essentially has more power over me, along with clearly possessing gorgeous features that would always overlook my own. She's perfect, everything about her is flawless, it's unfair. 

Perfect nose.

Perfect lips.

Perfect blue eyes. 

Perfect body.

Perfect, perfect, perfect. That's what she is, and you can't deny it.

Nonetheless, I shouldn't be this angered about it all. Draco and I are okay now, I can't stop him from getting with girls— I'm dating one for Gods sake, presumably he has every right to sleep with whoever he wants. The thing is, I have to learn to understand that.

Jealously is something I must avoid myself from feeling, he'll probably never be solely mine unless we ran away or something nonsensical. What we have now is more than enough, I have to embrace it how it is and accept the actuality of our dreadful situation that caused such abominable secrecy.

Honestly, I think my feelings may have grown to a point where the pain father would inflict to my weak body is somewhat worth it. But, then again, I care too much for Draco's safety and refuse to give his own father more reasons and excuses to hurt him. He doesn't deserve it, never had he done anything abysmal to be forced to endure pain— I have though. 

I'm a halfblood, I deserve it. He's a pureblood and does not. 

Draco is practically superior to me, in my fathers eyes Draco should be crashing insults down on me and treating me how father does. Father believes any pain I encounter and sustain is a clear reminder of my filthy blood status, I deserve every single mere suffering I undergo.

Presently, I'm seated at the round table that has roughly ten chairs circled around it. A white clothe is blanketed across the oak wood table, with solely nothing else placed atop— just a white sheet. I'm amidst Angel and Pansy, happily talking to Angel as I desperately and successfully forget about the heart wrenching sight from under an hour ago. I was taking this moment to catch up with Angel about her night seeing as Blaise had finally left her side, said he's going to find Draco and quickly disappeared into the crowd after informing her.

The warm and tender touch of Pansy's hand was situated on my thigh, where the slit in the fabric of my dress had fallen to the side from my leg crossed over the other. With my face turned to the left, fixated on the conversation I was having with Angel and acknowledging Pansy's presence by resting my hand upon hers, I cheekily smile at Angel with a brewing question.

"So— Angel, why didn't you tell me that you were Blaise's date?" I ponder, raising my eyes with intrigue. 

Angel smiles contently, "He asked me when Ivy and I were walking here, it was so random."

"Wow— spontaneous." I press my back into the wooden chair comfortably. 

"I know, plus I actually like him," Angel shrugs plainly, but her pale cheeks blush profusely in a bright red shade.

Giggling at her shyness, "That's so cute, I'm happy for you Angel." I bring my hand to her shoulder, gently stroking my thumb along her skin and she grins blissfully in response to my touch.

Just like Ivy, the same elegant princess appearance clouded over Angel's entire presentation of herself. Her dress is absolutely something made in heaven, the skirts material is sheer and a dusky light pink with flowers embroidered throughout the fabric. Loose sleeves drape down her upper arms and connecting to a shiny, silk white top that flattered her chest impeccably. From her rosey cheeks, subtle features and ethereal dress she wore— Angel truly lived up to the nickname I had given her, which she always did, but she looks utterly heavenly right now and the stunning dress is the cherry on top.

Another hour or so soars by, the dance had died down a little and fewer students resided in the hall. Even though the Headmaster and Professors had only a few weeks to plan this event, they somewhat outdid themselves— I never struck them as people who'd have good taste in decorations, nor hold the ability to garnishing the hall to fit the theme of 'Winter Wonderland'.

The large windows of the Great Hall were curtained with white fabric, all tables clothed in white sheets— everywhere your eyes looked is painted in white items of all kinds, definitely fulfilled the theme faultlessly. It truly looked like a Winter Wonderland.

Suddenly, I notice someone tap my right shoulder. Glancing to my right, Pansy's eyes already on the figure with her brows knitted in puzzlement, I follow her stare only to stumble upon unexpected brown ones— belonging to Blaise. I blink blankly and completely confused at the dark-skinned boy, where he displayed similar looks to mine; those of confusion and a somewhat awkwardness visible as well. Staring, waiting for him to speak, he clears the stiff air by clearing his throat.

"Uh— Draco wants to talk to you." Blaise enlightens, an exasperated exhale escaping my lips while I regard my eyes upon Pansy's clueless gaze that had fallen to my own. "Now."

Huffing in annoyance, I stand up from my chair, "Where is he?" I question, patting the fabric of my dress to straighten it out because sitting down had made it rumpled.

Blaise points to the second exit of the Great Hall, that was charmed to provide safety and students would cram themselves out of the one exit and cause injuries. "He's beside the stairs, it seemed urgent." Blaise announces, his voice confounded as though he had no clue what it was about either. 

I nod in confirmation to understanding his frantic words, a bottle of confusion filling within me as to why he seems so agitated and the confusion fleetly brimming to the top of the bottle. Bubbling and sizzling, soon to burst the cap off and, any minute now, my mind would overflow in bothering conclusions. Relaying an ephemeral glance towards Pansy, earning a slight smile of assurance from her, I advance to the exit on the right wall of the Great Hall.

As I walk there, the bottle of foaming confusion had rapidly brimmed to the top and easily exploded the cap off, my mind is now cramming with reasons of both negatives and positives to this random order from Draco. It must be important, he'd typically waver around until the late hours of the night and attempt to talk to me— never had he asked to speak with me while students are still around, especially in such close proximity to them.

What if Astoria sees? Or Layla?

I sigh, flushing out all my bustling thoughts with my heavy exhale and force myself to concentrate on the tapping of my heels, blocking the loud thoughts from effecting me as I wander the few steps to the large archway in the cream bricked wall. 

Almost immediately after I tread one foot across the open doorway and into the spacious corridor, my eyes land upon Draco pacing unmindfully back and forth near the small stairs on the left, where one girl is sat on the middle stone step with tears streaming down her cheeks and sobs escaping her lips; clearly she wasn't paying much attention to Draco, designating that Draco and I's soon to happen encounter is relatively unperceived to the gossiping students of the school.

Peering at the sobbing girl on the dusty, stone slabbed stairs briefly before anxiously furrowing my eyebrows and shifting my gaze to Draco's, the storm grey eyes of his appear oddly repulsive and monotonous when they station on my own— an image I assumed that I would never, on no account, be forced to contend with again. 

Owing to the fact that I concluded weeks ago that any grudges or hatreds Draco once held against me were gone, all aspects of his loathes had vanished from Draco after he perceived the truth to the grudge he held and I deemed he had no justifying reasons to abhor me henceforward. 

Be that as it may, I have discernibly miscalculated my conclusion because my eyes are presently staring upon that signature glare of Draco's. A glare that actually scared me, it's filled with such bitterness. He only shot this cold look during the first few weeks of school, when he didn't grasp the knowledge of the truth and had reasons to convey it.

His normally soft grey irises that brought me comfort were void of gentle aspects, they now resemble a scarily hazardous thunderstorm. The light grey has darkened to a frightening shade, appearing like the dense clouds that blanket over the blue sky or twinkling stars and shadowing the area in obscurity, devoid of the warm rays of the golden sun. 

His presence brings an unpleasantly familiar sensation to me, the feeling is vastly tantamount to the moist air that occurs before the storm hits and the gross humidity that spreads across your skin. The punishing water vapour in the atmosphere that's caused by the habitual storms I'd experience at home, which I hoped to stray from, but had seemed to follow me and take the shape of the blond boy who's a few metres away from me. 

Just like at home, the air feels nauseatingly stuffy and the fusty humidity shrouds my ivory skin. The warm, sticky sensation displeases my senses as I feel beads of sweat form on my forehead and the material of my dress clings to my skin. 

With the thick air of tension that surrounds Draco and I in the silent corridor, also exempt of eavesdropping students from the large doors to the Great Hall now closed. Alongside that, the corridor is only occupied by the three bodies of the random girl, who's still endlessly weeping, plus Draco and I. The mere sound audible is the girl on the stairs, but the strength behind Draco's distasteful look and the angry energy amidst us is booming loudly in my ears.

Draco sighs heavily and I mentally, also frantically, begin to prepare myself for the possibly painful lightning strikes that are soon to impale my terrified mind and crush my little beating heart, all the pain will be induced by the terrorising storm adjacent to me. I quickly registered the reason as to why Draco needed to talk to me so urgently, and I'm glad I fathomed it before the thunderstorm began.

As Draco's ultimately about to speak, on the verge of breaking the silence after the few blistering minutes, which felt so gruellingly extensive due to my panicking and had all the qualities of being tortuous hours instead of mere minutes, however Draco's pale blush lips barely part before the weeps of the unknown girl are in absentia. The disintegrated sobs cause Draco to halt his speaking the immediate millisecond of the girls cries perished, his stone-cold eyes dart from mine to the girl. 

In this present moment, everything feels like a novel that's brewing with nail-biting suspenseful and that has you anxiously sitting on the edge of your seat— but the book ends in an exasperating cliffhanger and the need to know the result urges you to purchase the sequel immediately. And right now, it feels like I've finished the first part, now being in the duration of weighting to obtain the continuation— which is the girl sitting with fear on the stone steps to my left, she is holding me back from grasping the second part.

"Uh—" The girl starts to murmur hushed words, but Draco has other plans and instantly interrupts the poor girl.

"Shut up, don't fucking tell anyone." Draco spits his words harshly towards her, the power of intimidation in his voice patently effecting the girl. Her lips downturn again, then the waterworks advance in flooding her cheeks and sobs emit from her. With, her bare feet propped on the one step down from where she sat, she hides her face in her knees that are covered with her dress skirt— the purple skirt drenching from her tears even more.

"That was harsh, Draco." I furrow my brows in confusion to why he lashed out on an oblivious girl, who I suppose is essentially an unwanted bystander in a way, but my focus lunges to Draco from my meddling thoughts after not attaining an eye roll or sarcastic remark from him; he strays from his usual friendliness to me— and instead he slowly, but domineeringly, strides towards me with his hands hidden inside the pockets of his pristine black pants and the sour display across his glowering eyes remains in a threatening manner on my terrified gaze.

He stops when there's barely a foot between us, staring down on me as though I'm ranked below him on the hierarchy and he's my powerful superior. My lips part in fear, shaky exhales cause my lips to quiver, the evident terror plastered across my face induces the left corner of Draco's lips to perk up; an evil smirk emerging.

"Firstly, it's Malfoy to you." Draco hisses through gritted teeth, his eyebrows hastily furrow from my inability to instantly respond as I'm in an utter state of shock and my brain isn't processing this scenario quick enough.

I gulp, "Wh—Why?" 

Draco scoffs as though the reason is absolutely obvious, "Because I fucking said so, that's why." His cold-hearted words roll of his tongue so easily and smoothly, it's truly appearing to me that he's actually being sincere and means every word he's presently said.

"But—" 

"Fucking be quiet for once, Winters. Don't talk unless I allow you to." Draco seethes, my eyes widen in pure shock and after each breath I take, they increase with volume and depth. Viciously, he smirks from my obedience, which Draco already knows he possesses. 

I feel so weak though. He's treating me horribly and I'm pathetically handing him the satisfaction he wants without an refusal or argument, however he seems too threatening to even utter words of question or actively disobey him.

Something happened, and it's nothing I expected. Only a few minutes ago I had judged that this conversation would be about Pansy, or him explaining why he was with Layla Murdock, or maybe even accusing me of a lie he had been told— but no, the reason for this unknown to me, and I don't like it in the slightest.

Draco huffs, "Now that your mouth is shut, it will remain shut while I tell you something." 

I promise to his stern words with a faint nod, blinking fearfully up at him with my head tilted back to countervail his towering height. 

"Good," He says bluntly, I watch as his tongue glides across the inside of his cheek, the dark eyes of his intensely fixate upon my alarmed blue gaze and I cowardly stumble back— however, Draco doesn't catch me nor try to for that matter, instead he smirks evilly and does something completely out of character. 

Draco steps forward forbiddingly, ignoring my pleading gaze for him to stop, and continues copying my timid treads backwards until the worst possible outcomes in this situation occurs— my back collides with the jagged brick wall, the coolness of the stone induces me to vaguely flinch from the icy contact, small goosebumps effectuate in covering the exposed skin of my upper back that is pressed pressed the uneven and rocky surface of the frosty wall.

With my back forced against the wall by my own strength, my whole body begins to cloud in faint goosebumps from the unexpected touch of Draco's hand on my face. It isn't soft though, his cold hand cups my face with aggression; his thumb on one side of my cheek and his fingers on the opposite side, squeezing tightly so that he had total control of me. 

"I'll let you ask questions in a second, but just listen for now." Draco informs sternly, I nod with affirmation to his heartbreaking words and imply that I'm listening. 

Sinisterly, Draco smirks before his lips part and I brace myself by holding my shaky breaths. 

"What we have is over." Draco emotionlessly gives voice to words that I never couldn't prepared myself for.

The storm had struck its first lightning bolt onto me. 

I feel my heart physically break.

A sharp pain strikes my heart once more, the dark storm impaling another excruciating bolt. This second time though wasn't from words, instead it's caused by how unbothered Draco is. 

His dulled, gloomy silver eyes are thoroughly devoid of emotion. There isn't even a mere glint of regret, he's just as expressionless as a stone statue.

I'm so stupid for falling for him.

"Before you ask why, the reasons are fucking obvious." Draco spits, my eyebrows furrow sadly as I realise that wasn't the end of it, only the horrid beginning; he has a lot more to say. "It was irrational and nothing more or less than a big fucking mistake."

His jaw tenses, "You aren't worth it honestly, I am not bearing a beating from my father because of you, Winters." I keep my arms by my sides, tolerating his painful words and harsh grip on my face, "Don't talk to me again, don't even fucking look at me— it's over, all of it. You were a mistake and I've finally realised that."

"Plus," Draco smiles carelessly, his murderous eyes perceiving the effects of his words upon me from the tears forming on my waterline, "I turned you into a slut, you're fucking boring now."

The heavy tears from both my eyes resisted to be confined, easily escaping my waterline and trail down my cheeks. Warm tears endlessly flood my pale cheeks with streaks of black from my mascara, my bottom lip quivering while I compel back my broken sobs.

"Poor princess." He pouts, using his other hand to gently trace my collarbone with the tips of his fingers, then brings his thumb towards under my eyes and wipes my tears away as though he didn't cause them. "Don't cry, if it makes you feel better— you meant nothing to me, never did, okay? Maybe that'll help."

"Why— Why are you telling me this now?" I murmur through my shaky breaths and dry throat.

Draco snickers, "Finally realised how pointless you are in my life."

I gulp, coldly glaring into his emotionless glower, all the agony he had just induced me to feel is noticeable by my pained eyes. "Forgot to mention, I asked Layla out and she said yes, so don't even try to reason with me." Draco shrugs, smirking evilly. 

"Fuck you." I spit, my hands clutching the material of my dress strongly to collect my composure and refrain from adding actions to the simply crude words that I spoke dexterously to him.

His rough hold that gripped my face loosens, all the cool contact of his hands completely departs from my shaking frame as he lazily shoves them into his pockets. Keeping a stern glare on my glossy gaze, which I'm unable to work up the strength to return the slaughterous look, only finding barely enough energy within my weakened body to plainly glance back at Draco.

Shamefully, I watch him turn around and he shares one last look towards me by peering over his shoulder; and I swear I captured a faint glimpse of regret and apology, but he steps up the stone stairs and disappears down the dimmed corridor before I have a sole chance to catch sight of it again.

I unsteadily tread towards the stairs, standing in the middle of the silent hallway while I watch in pain as Draco turns left and becomes completely unseeable. 

He's gone.

—And there's nothing I can do about it.

My heart snaps in two from the reality finally crushing down on me.

Then, before I know it, my vision goes black and I fall into a peaceful unconscious state of sleep.

Now that Draco's gone, I suppose I don't really need to try anymore.

I just have Pansy and my other girl friends that I adore; they don't expect anything. 

Plus, there's no reason for me to compete with the girls in this school.

I don't need to put effect into trying to make Draco jealous— he doesn't matter anymore. 

Pansy's loyal to me, Draco is gone. Pansy is all I honestly want and need. 

I suppose things will be okay if I go back to my old ways.

Things will be better, I'll be better.

Everything is going to go back to how it used to be, where I'll be safe again.

I'll be happy again. 

⋆ ⋆


	53. Chapter 53

Five days of school left until the break for Christmas, and I can't be more thrilled for it. Honestly, I never would of thought I'd be remotely gladdened to vacate the stone walls of the castle that yields me a somewhat protection, but, I am alleviated with the thought of being away from drama and a particular blond boy. 

Right now on this dim Monday morning, the temperature and weather is a brilliant metaphor for how I'm supposed to feel like after last nights harsh experience with Draco. 

A misty fog shrouds the usually vibrant green mountains in the distance, the lush forests on the hills are now completely invisible and the fog blended up into the sky, creating a tenebrific grey surrounding the castle and appearing like we're resided on a lone island floating in the sky. 

Along with the dense fog hiding the scenery of the Forbidden forest, towering mountains and Hagrid's Hut; there's a faint mist sweeping through the corridors of the school, inducing the chilled air in the atmosphere to be vaguely blurry— you can just see the ends of each hallways if you squint your eyes and focus enough.

Inky clouds pack the sky, the ferocity of the stuffy fog join with the heavy masses of water drops or ice crystals suspended in the atmosphere, that we call clouds, and cooperate together to hide away the golden sun rays that usually beamed down on the land in the mornings— the severity of the turbid fog and obscure clouds are burdensome for the sun on this harsh winter morning. 

Louring the sky with a drab grey that clouds the atmosphere and effectuates a sense that the land was monotonous, sparse of happiness and barren of clement aspects.

Slow and torturously arctic winds that had snuck into the castles walls brush over the exposed snowy skin of my face and thighs, sending a cool chill up my spine.

I expected my mind to feel fogged like the sky, the looming dark thoughts that blanketed the happy ones— but I don't. 

How I feel is opposite to the weather. And it's strange.

No metaphorical, vicious clouds or fog hazed over my positive thoughts. I don't feel sad at all, only disappointment, but not in myself— at Draco. 

Draco knew how significant he was to me, however he lied and caused me to feel utterly horrid.

Nonetheless, the former feeling of my crushed heart and churned stomach that catapulted at my weak body last night— is now and forevermore conclusively out of the window, and it absurdly happened barely minutes after Draco left me in a debilitated state. 

↝ A/N – flashbacks will be in Narrator POV for now on! ↜

flashback to last night  
— two minutes since Draco left

Raven's eyes were no longer blinded by a pitch black cloud, her brain had thrown her into the safety of her own mind for two peaceful minutes. Her mind now aware of the situation that just occurred, she wished to fall back into the darkness of her mind again and be oblivious to her surroundings.

Her milky, pale cheeks radiated a subdued blush pink caused by the countless searing beads of her own tears teeming down her face, leaving black trails marked as well from her mascara. Painfully, the broken girl wangled her entire enfeebled frame break in synch, it effectuated her in toppling to the cool, smooth stoned ground adjacent to the stairs sharply. 

A harrowing twinge bursted at her shins, the edge of the bottom stair colliding with them from her rapid decline to the floor. Raven couldn't pay much attention to the agony shooting through her body, the pain of the slam on her bones was poles apart from the punishing breaking sensation of her delicate heart that had just been crumbled to dust.

Her feet had embarrassingly failed Raven, the white heels she wore slipped off from the fall and were loosened around the back of her ankles, barely hanging off of the balls of her feet. With her sobs silent, Raven shifted to sit on the bottom step of the broad, few stairs that she descended before. Raven's legs sprawled inattentively on the floors surface beneath the wide step, positioned to her right with her face directed left; away from the shocked eyes of the once weeping girl, plus the large closed door on the right wall that leads to the Great Hall.

Raven desperately begged the universe keep her damaged appearance and the sight of her soaked cheeks of hot tears to be unknown to other students, especially her friends. Throughout her miserable life, Raven only cried during the first few years of life, and after five years her eyes never watered nor would a sole tear trail down her face. Raven never cried, the last time was weeks ago in Draco's dorm.

She loathed the tears that streamed along her cheeks.

All she felt was humiliated by it. 

Smartly, Raven instantly decided to steer clear of others seeing her in this state. 

Raven finds it embarrassing, as stupid or preposterous as it sounds— the thought of people stumbling across this weak sight of her was truly frightening.

So, in hopes that the universe would listen to her plead, Raven maintained her face to the left and fixed the broken stare of hers upon the cracks in the rocky wall.

While Raven quietly broken apart, the girl that sat on the middle step to Raven's right had been staring in absolute bewilderment. The ashy blonde haired girl had her deep, caliginous brown eyes focalised towards Raven, blinking in shock as she attempted to figure out if what she saw had actually just occurred— right in front of her as well.

The girl isn't known to Raven. She's just a plain and simple Hufflepuff, who's in Raven's year, however the girl is the perfect definition for unpopular and essentially unperceived by majority of the school. The reason why she's so unheard of is due to her shy demeanour, she tends to abide to safety of her dorm that she shares with a much popular girl— Hannah Abbott, the two being best friends but not of any importance to the other three houses.

Eventually comprehending the actuality of the scene that unfolded before her, the Hufflepuff blinks once more with an exhale of relief from grasping the truth. In an awkward and uncertain manner, she brimmed with worry for Raven as she began shambling across the stairs surface and the two steps down from the centre one, that she was once on.

The Hufflepuff met Raven's side, hesitantly situated her hand to rest upon Raven's shoulder. Raven jolted from the abrupt, but gentle contact on her skin, the random action induced Raven to whip her focus to the right and her blue eyes landed on the Hufflepuffs. 

Raven had never seen this girl before, only in the past mere moments was the first time her eyes freshly met the Hufflepuffs new presence. And their initial interaction was the girl witnessing the wrenching incident and having full sight of Raven's silent crying, which made Raven feel sick.

"Are you alright?" The Hufflepuff kindly asked, a friendly smile perked on her lips and lightly squeezed Raven's shoulder with solace. 

Who is this girl? Raven kept her mouth shut, deciding not to answer since she had absolutely no recollection nor idea who this random girl is, what if she wasn't trustworthy and tell her friends about what she saw?

"Sorry— I'm Eleanor Branstone, sixth year Hufflepuff," Eleanor grinned, attempting to convey that she wasn't evil nor held malevolent intentions.

Raven snickered, "How are you so happy? You were crying barely a few minutes ago." Accidentally, her tone was rude and cold towards the girl, who had been doing nothing but speaking with a sweet voice and Raven wholly overlooked that— being self-protective as always.

Baffled, Eleanor slowly blinked, "I didn't mean to rile you up, it just seems like you need someone right now." Her tone was quietened now.

"It's not your fault— you saw what just fucking happened." Raven forced a smile, the corners of her lips barely lifted up and a weak smile plastered her flushed face.

"Yes, I can understand why you'd be snappy." The dirty blonde haired girl remained smiling at Raven, indicating that the outburst hadn't effected her in the slightest. "And— what I was crying over is really pathetic, I live up to the wonderful stereotype that Hufflepuff's are sensitive."

Raven furrowed her brows, "What was it over?"

"Oh.. Uh— the girl said my dress looked putrid, but I'm okay now, a good cry dealt with it." Eleanor immediately disclosed after a tiny moment of stutters. 

Footsteps became audible while Raven simply nodded at Eleanor, and the volume of the heavy steps only increased with each passing second. Both the girls attention shifted to the boy that was strolling down the corridor from behind them, Raven instantly comprehended who it was.

Needing to feel the embrace of a boy, a boy who she trusted and actually grew to adore, Raven shot a brief glance towards Eleanor in thanks to the friendly Hufflepuff who consoled her; Eleanor plainly smiled back.

Raven felt the tears stinging her sensitive, swollen waterline whilst she fragilely rose to her feet. The cold surface of the grey stone flooring sprung an icy sensation across the skin of her bare feet. As she stood, Raven realised she forgot to retrieve the heels, but her body felt too weak, she knew her feeble knees would buckle if she even tried to crouch down and fetch them. 

Willingly disregarding the white heels, Raven helplessly ascended up each wide surfaced step, her legs endlessly quivered with every single move she made. Raven reached the top of the small set of stairs, the boy she trusted was barely two metres adjacent to her. 

Using all the minuscule amount of strength she had left, Raven weakly shifted one foot in front of the other and forcefully accumulated just enough power in her steps to reach the boy quicker. The only thing that gave her the energy was from knowing she'll feel the embrace of a true-hearted boy.

She viewed his eyebrows knit together rapidly due to concern, his brown eyes noticed Raven's saddened expression immediately and he barely parted his lips before Raven crashed down once more. A quiet sob escaped her lips, she desperately wrapped her shaking arms around the worried boys torso and completely collapsed from the agony she felt in her heart. Dissolved into tears, her endless, hot cries drenched the pristine white material of his dress shirt— but neither of them were thinking about that at all. 

"Th—Theo," Raven murmured against his comforting chest, the warmth of his body heat radiated off him and effortlessly started to solace her. "I—" Her voice cracked.

Theo hushed her, his hand that was on her upper back rubbed soothingly against her bare skin. His other hand rested on the back of her head, gently massaging the tips of his fingers along her scalp. Raven immediately felt protected the second after her reliant arms, which begged for human contact, had coiled around him and tightly pressed herself against his chest.

"Ray? What happened?" Theo softly questioned while keeping the strength of his embrace on Raven and allowing her to collapse against him, seeing as he hastily perceived how truly broken she appeared and that Raven evidently needed this from her how tightly her shaking hands clung the fabric of his shirt.

Raven sniffed, tears remained flowing down her cheeks. "I— I hat—hate.. him." The quivering voice of hers was quiet and bustled in stammers with each individual letter. Simply from Raven speaking those words, the hot tears grew in quantity and denser in size, prickling her sensitive eyes when they'd escape down her cheeks.

After hearing those words, Theo instantly knew who she was talking about and decided to keep quiet. He didn't want to ask her anything right now, he could tell how hurt she was and bringing up frantic questions of the incident that had occurred would induce her to think about it again. Theo needed to calm her down first, then attempt to unearth the story by gently asking her.

Theo cares about Raven, a lot. 

How could he not?

Even if he wasn't truly fond of her, which is not the case anyway, Raven is Vesper's little sister. He's dating her older sister, it's basic manners to be polite to the family of your loved one. 

Nevertheless, Theo didn't need to force himself to tolerate any aspect of Raven, nor did he feel bothered by her and he especially didn't despise her— Instead, Theo adored his girlfriend's little sister.

In the beginning, Raven was so shy and kept to herself. Also, she had usually been quite quiet and nervous around him, considering they weren't very known with one another for the first few weeks of school. Theo finds it saddening that their friendship bloomed due to what Oskar Argento did, it caused Raven to spend time with Vesper at both her dorm and Theo's, and Theo is always by Vesper's side.

Sometimes, maybe more like all of the time, Theo wished he could travel back in time and effectuate their friendship to blossom before the Argento incident, then the reason for their friendship would be much nicer and not sickening. If possible, he'd murder Oskar Argento just to guarantee Raven's innocence was kept and not disgustedly stolen by Argento.

But Theo can't time travel— so the most he can do is protect her from any future harm and treat her as though she actually was his little sister.

While Raven continued to break down into hushed sobs and tingling hot tears that flooded his shirt, Theo furrowed his brows towards a purple dressed girl who sauntered up to them. Eleanor held out a pair of white, pricey looking heels and nodded at Theo, urging him to take them. Refusing to part his touch from Raven, as she had slowly began to calm down, Theo directed his eyes between the heels and the pockets of his dress slacks.

The sweet girl of Hufflepuff comprehended what Theo was implying straight after the second time he flickered his twos amidst the shoes and his pants pocket, Eleanor held her typical serene movements and stepped towards Theo silently. 

Eleanor hooked the thin, long heels of both the shoes with the right pocket of Theo's ironed and immaculate formal slacks, then pushed the heels further into the pocket. Just in case they weren't thoroughly secure, Eleanor wiggled them around slightly before stepping away with satisfaction.

Briefly, Theo smiled to Eleanor in appreciation and mouthed an comprehensible 'thank you'. The girl nodded with a kind smile, she then proceeded down the steps that Raven had crumbled onto not too long ago. Eleanor hauled one of the doors, which belonged to the charmed entrance into the Great Hall, opening the door wide enough for her frame to slip through before vanishing into the Great Ball and closed the door behind her.

"Ray, should we start walking to commons?" Theo said in a volume that was barely a level higher to a whisper, his asking is given a response relatively quickly due to Raven vaguely nodding against his chest.

Theo decided to assist Raven and spare her from wasting the energy, that she had collected during their embrace, on forcing herself to walk; Theo carefully held Raven's hands, dropping them to her side and advancing with his motion. Theo leaned over, placing one arm under her knees and the other behind her back, he picked Raven up in a swift moment and began to stroll to the Slytherin common room.

When they arrived to Theo's personal dorm, he had situated Raven on the side of his black sheeted bed. Raven watched as Theo headed towards a spruce chest of drawers, his presence was away from hers for barely half a second before he returns to Raven with a few articles of clothing. Theo extended his arms in front of Raven, in which she instantly grabbed with her shaky hands.

"I'll get changed in the bathroom and wait a minute or too, don't know how Ves would react if I told her I unintentionally saw you changing." Theo joked, not expecting Raven to respond with a giggle like she normally did, however Theo expected wrong as a hushed giggle emitted from Raven. He smiled before collecting his own change of clothes and disappeared into his bathroom. 

Raven glanced at the clothes, they clearly belonged to Vesper since they were visibly too small to be Theo's and she definitely knew that Theo didn't wear black Brazilian style underwear, well she hopes at least.. 

He had given her a loose, forest green hoodie that was plain and devoid of any graphics printed on the material. Raven unlatched the bra-like clips, which were adjustable for the tightness of the dresses corset top, and exhaled in relief as she felt her ribs expand to their original state when she breathed, after having been confined within the suffocating corsets fabric. She easily unhooked them, much to her surprise as well, then slipped her head and arms quickly into the hoodie.

Shuffling her dress over her hips, she lifted herself off the soft mattress momentarily whilst she tugged the dress down her thighs. Allowing the flowing, heavily fabriced dress to descend into a pile of peachy beige mound, along with blue and gold glitter, Raven swiftly hauled her uncomfortable white g-string off and replaced it with the Brazilian style underwear. Her body immediately felt alleviated from the somewhat painful string panties, the new ones felt so much better.

Raven put the black shorts on, which were rather small, however she couldn't really bring herself to worry about— she was worried with something a lot worse compared to small, pyjama shorts.

When Theo warily opened the door of the bathroom, he anxiously peered into his room and sighed in relief when he saw that Raven was fully changed, also she had gone ahead and tucked herself into the cosy sheets of his bed— her tired gaze viewed Theo while he walked to the other side of the bed and sat beside her.

Theo leaned his back against the dark spruce headboard, staring at the ceiling while he thinks of how to approach Raven on the topic what occurred a few minutes ago. His hands were intertwined together and situated upon his clothed chest, now wearing a plain white shirt with black and white plaid pyjama pants that are rather loose. As Theo is deep in thought of ways to calmly question Raven, she was snuggly laid on her left side and facing Theo with the thick duvet hauled over her shoulders.

Warm tears were sadly still streaming down her face, the position on her side caused them to flow along the bridge of her nose, but she had become so habitual with the sensation of the tingling salty teardrops on her skin that Raven didn't even notice it anymore, nor tried to hold them back and couldn't care about Theo seeing her broken appearance. 

Raven was used to feeling dull.

The feeling that the world was in monotone, along with a sense of hopelessness which drowned her.

It's normal to her, but what she felt right now— this is terrifyingly new.

Her heart felt sparse, empty even, she could grasp the sensation of the ravine that had sliced her heart in two and it was.. still split into two. She hates this feeling, it's beyond any of the pain that her parents brought her.

Raven didn't feel unloved, nor unworthy— which is what her parents relentlessly drowned her in, they never gave the poor girl a second to ascend to the surface and take a frantic gasp for air nor did they even allow her to catch her breath. 

Draco hadn't caused her to feel unloved or unworthy, she could also freely breathe— he made her feel so, so much worse.

Backstabbed, Raven physically felt the dagger that Draco impaled into her back and left there. It hurt, Draco deceived her without remorse and.. he—

Draco had abandoned her. 

And he appeared to not give a shit. 

Raven felt tricked by him, he lied to her. She is sickened with him and, as much as she refused to come to terms with;

She hates him.

"Can I ask what happened?" Theo asked hesitantly, his brown eyes met hers, which had already been fixated on since he sat beside her.

"Yes." Raven replied, swallowing the lump that's lodged in her throat.

"Okay— What happened?" An exhale emitted from Theo after letting the question slip off his tongue. Honestly, Theo is quite desperate to know what Draco did to cause Raven such agony, he had never seen her collapse like that before— whatever it is, obviously isn't very pleasant.

Raven took a few deep breaths with her eyes gently closed, then opens them and focalised on Theo. Then, she let it all out, "Draco— he.. he said I was a mistake, that I never meant anything to him.. and that he's not bearing a beating from my father because of me, since I'm worthless and pointless." Raven sobbed through her words, causing Theo to halt the delicate girl in her rant by shifting himself to lay down. From his eyes, Raven understood what he was allowing her to do and she doesn't think twice, she needed comfort.

Already feeling his body heat radiating on her, Raven rested her head upon his chest and snuggled herself against his side. Theo had one hand comfortably raking through her hair and the other wrapped around her, embracing her trembling petite frame with a soft but tight hold. When they were both comfortable and Raven's breaths had calmed, she started again.

"He said— we're over, and that he doesn't want me to talk or even look at him." Raven's voice was composed now, the gentle sensation of Theo's fingers that ran through her hair and his heartbeat which thumped steadily, she found it easier to speak to Theo and inform him on everything. "Dra—Draco told me that I'm a—a.. sl-slut now and i'm boring— and he's dating that Layla bi-bitch."

Theo chuckled quietly after hearing her usual self poke through by her crude word, but his subtle laugh turned into a heavy exhale whilst he processed what Raven just disclosed. In Theo's mind, he couldn't comprehend that Draco would say those vile words onto her. He and Draco had a slight chat about Raven, which was barely a week ago, and it appeared like Draco actually missed Raven— and then a week later, he's telling her that she means nothing to him and not worth it?

It seems somewhat suspicious to Theo, however he knows that Draco is impulsive and unpredictable— he just found it strange how Draco let her down so coldly, he presumed Draco would lightly end things; the complete opposite of what he did.

Raven realised that Theo was dead silent, he didn't entirely convey the impression of responding to Raven any time soon. Supposedly, he's unsure of what to say or not pushing her further with questions that might sadden her. 

From the heavenly silence in the room, only the two's soft breaths barely audible, Raven found herself falling sleepy and before she knew it— her body was lightly descending in consciousness and ascending into a peaceful rest.

end of flashback   
[Raven's POV again]

It's stressing, I suppose. My poor, weak mind has been dumped with more negative emotions from particular people, people of which who have no consideration for me at all. In a way, I'm essentially as worthless as father always says I am. 

Clearly, I deserve to be lied to. 

I woke up this morning with a slight hope filling me, a hope that Draco wasn't serious and he just needed to convince people we weren't involved or anything; but, my hopes were quickly crushed after he completely ignored me when I walked past him, and I truly pray that he heard my heart shatter for the second time.

His feelings shouldn't matter to me following the events from last night, and they actually don't. My heart, that had been broken twice in the space of twenty-four hours, begged me to care and attempt to understand from his perspective. 

I refused to, I can't.

The rip in my heart is excruciating, it throbs with pain when I think about how I never obtained a sincere explanation as to why was Draco ending things. 

It hurt, I don't understand why.

Nonetheless, I have five days to enjoy with Pansy before Christmas break commences— and I don't plan on shamefully mourning on the loss of a good friend, who was doing nothing but using me and lying to me, Draco isn't worth crying over. He's the second person to actually make me sob painfully, second to Oskar Argento however.. and doesn't that sadly explain enough?


	54. Chapter 54

『Draco's POV』

Maybe I should've processed in my excruciatingly clouded mind that I'd be subjected to the wrath of Raven's older sister, Vesper. Honestly, there's no doubt in the world that I'm an utter idiot for assuming that Raven would of fallen into her old ways, but instead she absolutely abandoned them and rambled the big mouth she's grown to have. 

Also, forgetting that I'd receive a scold from Vesper was essentially nonsensical of me. It's categorically obvious that Raven would unveil her pain and emotions towards her own sister, why I let that fall between the cracks is beyond me. 

However, the reason for what happened last night wasn't thoroughly thought on. I had barely ten hours of ruminating on how to sever the rope between Raven and I, a rope that I never wanted to cut. 

Come what may, I had no other choice but to.

It pained me. 

The horrid heartache I felt when I observed Raven's pretty sapphire hues gloss over and her velvety, blush pink lips quiver, a sickening sensation that I never felt before had sharply strike my heart. It drew all the strength in myself to inflict an emotionless and empty expression across my features, and how real it seemed— scared me. Raven's gaze was just as vacant of emotions as my own, a pain in her eyes glinted over when she grasped the realisation of how sincere I was; but it was to keep her safe. 

It wasn't about students finding out about our.. involvement. There's cruel people in this world, people who are going to extreme lengths to jeopardise Raven and I, and I can't do fucking anything about it— other than comply. 

For me, it'll be relatively easy. Raven needs protection, and she will be guaranteed total safety if I leave her. I'll force her to assume how much I despise her, then the feelings she possesses towards me will undoubtedly vanish, right?

It's a Tuesday now, yesterday was ridiculously easy to avoid Raven, however I hadn't stumbled upon Vesper until presently. The sun has just poked out from behind the mountains, students are making their way to breakfast; and Vesper is going to hell on me in the walls of my own dorm. Not to mention, Theo was leaning against the door with his stare shamefully on the floor and not meeting my own. 

"What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. You?!" Vesper angrily shouts, the walls practically shaking from the volume and power in her voice.

Granted that I have enough knowledge of Vesper and am wise enough to not tick her off, I remain blankly blinking at her— mostly at a loss for words, and especially an excuse.

Vesper snarls, "You know you're the second person to make her cry!! Second to FUCKING OSKAR, DRACO!!!" Her enraged words cause me to gulp, deciding to just endure it all. "WOULDN'T YOU THINK THAT EXPLAINS HOW MUCH YOU HURT HER?"

I keep silent.

"Theo comforted her! Theo carried her back to his dorm! Theo didn't leave her until she fell asleep!" Vesper runs her hands through her straight, black hair vigorously, that were shaking due to the fury she's feeling and unleashing, "Seriously, out of all ways to break up with her, you choose the fucking path OF BEING AN UTTER ASSHOLE!!!???"

"We weren't dating." I scoff, furrowing my brows at Vesper in confusion as to where she got the impression Raven and I were together. 

There's no solid definition to explain what Raven and had, I suppose it's under the category of; old best friend from my childhood, which I became friends with again and started fucking her, but we were barely friends, more like people who go to the same school and have to keep shit a fucking secret. 

Not a definite title to put us under at all.

We were just— Me and Raven.

Vesper sneers, exasperation radiates from her dumbfounded expression to my words and the breathing of hers is audibly heavy, "Wow."

"Wow, what?" 

"Don't fucking 'wow, what' me, how could you be so heartless? What caused this?" Vesper strides towards me, closing the few metres that was once between us, then abruptly halts barely a foot adjacent to me. "WHAT— FUCKING— CAUSED— THIS?!"

I take a deep breath, composing myself and difficultly trying to keep my anger at bay, "Her and I never would of worked, for obvious fucking reasons, Ves. It surprises me that you let her get attached, I thought you wanted to protect her."

My words heaved charcoals into her raging fire, fuelling the flames and inducing it to soar with intensity. "And you think I don't know that?! It pissed me off at first, then I realised how fucking head over heels she was and I allowed it!! CLEARLY THAT WAS A MISTAKE." 

"Clearly it was." I huff, her face contorting with more anger.

"You are fucking insane, Draco! She doesn't deserve this—"

I heartlessly laugh, cutting her off. 

"Spare me the lecture, Ves." I roll my eyes in annoyance, "It was the smartest choice."

Vesper growls, "Goodbye."

Then, Vesper storms off, briskly tearing herself and Theo out of the vicinity of my dorm.

I sigh deeply, mentally kicking myself for what I had to just say.

Raven's POV

Vesper had dragged me from my end seat of the Slytherin table, ripping me from eavesdropping on all the ecstatic conversations of students experiences at last night's winter dance. The reason I had been so focused on their possibly private chats was because Pansy wasn't here and I needed to distract myself, so I sat beside Daphne Greengrass and listened to her rant about some seventh year Slytherin while I picked at a muffin— until Vesper rudely interrupted my entertained self and told me news that I certainly didn't want to hear.

Obviously, if you couldn't already figure out the subject of the news, it was about Draco. Honestly, what she informed me on wasn't that hurtful since I comprehended it hours before our chat. Vesper ranted how I apparently meant nothing to Draco, and I knew that. 

Truth be told, he meant barely nothing to me as well. I'm not bothering with him any longer, he made it clear of my insignificance towards him and I'll return the same to him. 

It'll be simple.

I have Pansy— Pansy has me. Not to mention Theo, Ivy, Angel and Vesper; and of course the girls from the other houses. All of their presences were perfectly enough, I don't need Draco.

After the little discussion with Vesper, which was more like enduring a rant and not getting a single word of opinion in, I had calmly advanced to the courtyard with a new novel in my hands and my nose buried into the pages. 

Pansy had bought it for me, it appears like she had a secret meeting with Hermione and asked the Gryffindor on the book genres I preferred, or maybe gift ideas; who knows, I'm not too bothered by Pansy talking with Hermione and asking for help— however, the information that Hermione disclosed to Pansy invoked the blood vessels in my cheeks to swell and my cheeks flushed a crimson red.

Hermione told her I enjoyed reading erotica. Not even leaving Pansy with the mere information of the simple erotica genre— she WENT to town. Hermione allowed the words of humiliation to roll off her tongue, void of regret and didn't appear embarrassed by talking about such a steamy topic either. From the storyline's that I prefer in relation with the dirty novels, to the sexuality aspects and intensity, Hermione didn't hold back at all.

Why do I know this? It seems that Ron is horrible at keeping secrets, or encounters he accidentally stumbles upon, and finds it impossible to compel himself from blurting it out. This occurred a week ago, I was seated quietly in the library when the redhead rushed towards me— then his mouth just exploded with words. He didn't repeat himself, nor waited for my reaction, Ron simply walked back the way he came without another word uttered; despite his disclosing of the secret was quick and mumbled, I deciphered every word.

I'm not mad at Hermione, mostly it shocked me that she was so passionate about discussing the topic— it's just embarrassing.

Anyway, Pansy settled on buying me a particular novel called 'A Sport and a Pastime', I had only just started reading it. But it was actually interesting, brushing past the knowledge that the steaminess thats soon to occur.

Entering into the grassy courtyard by walking through one of the many archways, my fixated concentration is ripped from the printed ink words on the novel due to hearing my name ring through my ears. I peer up, furrowing my brows and closing the book, however my features soften when I spot Cedric sitting with a familiar group of Gryffindor's.

Cedric excitedly waves me over with the most joyful grin on his vague blushed cheeks, I quickly return his friendly grin by smiling warmly and immediately strolling towards the five students, who were seated on two wooden benches that are at a right angle to one another and shaded by a huge oak tree. 

I reach the group, then freely take a seat amidst Cedric and Harry, the two had shuffled over and kindly gave me space to sit. Hermione, Ron and Ginny were all sitting on the other bench, along with just Harry and Cedric on the one I had just taken place upon.

"How was your night?!" Hermione asks enthusiastically, her excitement soon to cause the girl to bounce off her feet and project into the sky. I hadn't seen Hermione yesterday, so she's clearly unveiling the blissful night she had two days ago. 

The weather is clement compared to yesterday's dreadful gloomy sky. There's barely any grey clouds looming in the atmosphere, only small, fluffy white ones. From the lack of heavy, blanketing fog and clouds, the sun easily beams its golden rays onto the land and brings a sense of happiness upon me. 

'What if this is the calm before the storm?' I think, stupidly.

I'm rather worried about returning home, despite being thrilled to released from all the tiring drama that cram the walls of the school, a feeling of doom is still louring above me. 

Father hasn't seen me in weeks, he can become terribly ruthless and more sinister when he's deprived of the one thing that he unleashes his terrorising infuriation's onto— Me. One time, I left home early in the morning to visit a new bookstore, during my absence father and mother broke into a horrible argument. When I returned, it wasn't pleasant as father was depleted of releasing his anger and had to hold back for hours until I was in the vicinity of him again.

I think that may of been the one occurrence that I awoken from my mind, and it was so horrible.

"It was good, thank you, what about you?" I reply to Hermione's question, her expression bursts with eagerness after hearing my copied asking to how her night was.

Hermione beams, she subtly nods her head to the right, where Ron was sitting, then proceeds to point to her lips. My eyes widen, "Aw." 

"What?" Ron breaks out of his daydream, eventually comprehending why Hermione's index finger was pointed to her lips. His cheeks grow a scarlet glow, inducing us all to either laugh or pout at his shyness. "Blimey Hermione, let's go ahead and tell the whole school while your at it."

"Don't be so silly, Ron!" Hermione rolls her says, lightly elbowing him in the ribs. "I'm actually thinking of telling Fred and George, they'd love to know."

Ron's eyes gape, "No! They'll pester me about it and you know that!"

The two ascend into a fit of childish bickering, both their ears shut off any other sounds and focus on one another with their harmless argument. Ginny scoffs, then announces that she's meeting with Dean Thomas and briskly strolls off; leaving Harry, Cedric and I staring at each other in bewilderment. 

I stare off into the students that are in vicinity of the luscious green courtyard, noting on how happy they appear from the laughs and gleeful chatter. Then, out of all possible people that could be strutting towards me, it just has to be the one I currently dislike the most.

Layla Murdock. 

She pompously strolls through the entrance archway, leaving a familiar blond boy lazily leaning his shoulder against the bricks and appearing quite irritated by Layla advancing towards me. However, the dark blonde haired girl comes to an abrupt halt and whips her head around to Draco. Stopping her strut over to me, instead swiftly swirls on the balls of her feet and saunters back to Draco.

I sigh in relief, but my alleviation is rapidly tumbled away into the wind after I notice Layla sternly clasp Draco's hand and intertwining their fingers, then painfully proceeds to drag Draco behind her whilst she sashays towards me again. Her bright blue eyes are darted on mine, triggering a sense of panic to brew within me.

"Fuck." I mutter under my breath, Cedric and Harry heard my worried murmur and their eyes widen from the sight that my own were fixated on.

"This can't be good." Harry gulps, anxiously squirming in his seat as the two arrive adjacent to us three, standing roughly two metres away.

I can't look up from the ground, even if I longed to attain eye contact with Draco's silver gaze and beg for an explanation from just my eyes alone; Draco told me to not look at him, nor speak to him either, so I'll obey.

"So ashamed you can't even look at him?" Layla snickers, the conceited tone in her voice is incredibly noticeable. From her unexpected presence, Hermione and Ron's bickering is flown into a rapid stop and their eyes widen.

Unable to give Layla the satisfaction of the actuality to her insult, I daringly dart my eyes up to hers and glare with annoyance. "No one wants to here, leave." I spit in vile tones, there's no way I can tolerate her today— if she wants to talk, then it isn't going to be friendly.

The aggression and powerful tension in the air causes Hermione to drag Ron away from the situation, conveying a hesitant glance to me before disappearing out of the courtyard.

"Naw— someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I wonder why?" Layla pouts, I plainly stare and blink emotionlessly at her. "Do you little friends know what happened?"

I stand up, scoffing. "It isn't anything worth mentioning to them."

Layla tilts her head slightly, an evil smirk coming into existence. "Is that right? must be a shame to be the only girl Draco's ever rejected." 

"What?" I furrow my brows, Draco had told Layla a completely different story of the event from Sunday night, instead of the actual truth?

"You asked him to follow you to our dorm? no?" She grins, sparking a fire within me— the same fire that ignited during the incident with Astoria.

"At least I'm not so needy that I fuck someone in the year below." I hiss, her features dropping. 

Layla steps forward, attempting to be intimidating however it definitely didn't work— the mere presence of Draco was intimidating enough, making everything else to be completely disregarded. 

I feel someone grasp my left hand, peering down to see Cedric staring at me with a plead to stop. Sighing, I look back to the conceited face of Layla and scowl with annoyance.

"You're a bitch!" Layla screeches, her embarrassing anger effectuating a subtle laugh to escape my lips. "What's so funny?"

I smirk, "Why are you getting so defensive? Am I, a halfblood, considered competition to you?"

"Of course not! I simply wanted to congratulate you on being the first girl Draco ever rejected." Layla seethes, then suddenly, the fire explodes.

My fist collided with her nose, a shrilling shriek emitting from her.

I shake my hand, watching the girl rapidly hold her shaking hand over her dainty nose, which was gushing with blood, and she tumbles backwards in shock.

"Leave me the fuck alone, you seriously pester me." I say sweetly, changing my tone. Daringly, I direct my eyes upon Draco's and I immediately view a glint of pain wash across his silver gaze as our stares met. "As for you, I—hate—you." 

Draco gulps, blinking blankly and I huff in exasperation.

Then, I shoot a quick glare towards Layla and storm off with no clue of where I'm heading; but desperately needing to get out of there before I cause anymore attention to myself.

⋆ ⋆


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW — death

"I'll miss you," Pansy frowns, her warm hands gently situated beneath my jaw and cupping my face. Stroking her thumbs along the skin of my cheeks, Pansy meticulously appreciates each and every delicate feature of my face as though it was the last time she'd see me. 

From just her subtle touch and adoring gaze, Pansy invoked me to feel like we are the only two at Kings Cross Station; the joyful students and parents that were bustling around are now invisible, along with their voices muffled whilst my attention laid on Pansy.

The three days that followed after the little incident on Tuesday morning, which involved Layla Murdock and my fist, had blessedly been unenlightened to the professors and especially Headmaster Dumbledore; for reasons unknown though. Since I inevitably judged Layla as a blabbermouth, on the grounds that she comes from a wealthy family and appears like quite a brat, I just assumed she'd cry to her parents and beg Headmaster Dumbledore to expel me— contradictorily, Layla actually kept quiet and the only people aware of the incident were the students there; Cedric, Harry, Draco, myself and Layla.

Nonetheless, I'm not complaining. I'm glad she didn't run her mouth, it would've ended badly for me.

During the week left of first term, Pansy and I had small conversation about Draco, which was weirdly ended short after Pansy changed the subject. But, Draco is her ex-boyfriend, so I suppose it's strange to talk about.

"It's only for two weeks, you'll be fine." I smile with assurance, Pansy drops her comforting hands from my face and positions them on my shoulders. "I'll owl you, I promise."

"Okay— you better." Pansy squeezes my shoulders, then she slowly leans in and pecks my lips softly.

We exchange a quick bye before parting different ways down platform 9 3/4.

I saunter towards Vesper, who was patiently waiting for me, then we disapparate to the tragic place we unfortunately call home.

⋆ ⋆

"My sweet Vesper!" Mother formally rushes into the large foyer from the kitchen, the clink of her heels tap against the light polished concrete floor. Her arms were extending outwards, ready to welcome Vesper with a motherly embrace. Mother's hair was pinned into a perfect low bun with not a single strand out of place, all combed down to an articulate and proper state. Her thin lips are painted a flawless shade of scarlet red, like they usually were, and matched impeccably with her expensive beige robes.

I watch in annoyance whilst mother reaches us, paying no attention to me at all and draws Vesper into a tight hug. Almost immediately, the strong scent of alcohol, more specifically champagne, wafts into my nostrils and overpowers all other smells. 

The familiar scent of lemongrass and clean linen had been extinguished by the intense smell of just champagne, however it had grown on me from relentlessly fetching mother numerous glasses of wine throughout my childhood and entire life. I became incredibly habitual to the smell, so much that it actually surprised me when mother didn't smell like alcohol.

"Gimbel!" Mother calls out for one of our house-elves, the little elf appears beside us immediately with the sound of a 'pop' and looks at mother, awaiting for her order. "Take Vesper's items to her room."

The bright, fuchsia eyed elf nods and advances towards Vesper's luggage, then grasps the handles before vanishing with another loud pop.

"Your father wants to see you both," She notifies, the brown eyes of hers remain dismissing my presence, regardless that the information attends to me as well. "He's in his office waiting." With that, mother leaves our presences and disappears into the kitchen.

I glance at Vesper, "What a warm welcome." I smile sarcastically, Vesper frowns before lightly clapping her hands twice, in which Gimbel appears adjacent to us. 

Since mother and father refuse to call upon the elves to assist me, Vesper had to create a way to summon our house elves, and that was by clapping twice quickly. Thankfully, Vesper instructed them to only obey to her clapping and no one else, so our parents will never know.

"Please take Raven's bags to her room." Vesper ordered, much kinder than how mother previously did.

Gimbel nods, "Of course, Miss." He hobbles to my bags beside me, then with a pop, he and my bags disappear.

Vesper clears her throat, "Ready?"

"Sure." I reply, exhaling heavily. 

I hate moments like this, moments where Vesper has to pretend to despise me. Through all the years of our parents loathing me, Vesper always forcefully plastered on a fake expression and demeanour to keep our improper sister relationship a secret. Vesper put on a false front in front of our parents and people they are acquainted with, then when we are eventually alone, she rips down her charade and instantly apologises for what she said.

The sole reason as to why our parents disallowed a bond between Vesper and I is obvious, it purely centres on my blood status. Clearly, fathers hatred for me is so immense that he believes depriving me of basic human emotions is needed. It's all fucking insane, you'd think being treated with less respect than the house elves would satisfy father enough, however it unfortunately did not.

But, it's whatever, I guess.

I can't do anything about it other than deal with it.

These next two weeks are already beginning to feel horrid, and I've only been at home for barely ten minutes. Two weeks of tolerating father will be awfully easy, considering two weeks is nothing compared to sixteen years, I'm mostly dreading that I won't be able to spend time with Vesper other than in our rooms. At Hogwarts, we could freely talk, hug and act like sisters there, but at home— we can't.

It's only for two weeks, then we can go back to normal. 

Vesper and I stand adjacent to the closed door of our father's office, both fearing to knock and become faced with him after nearly four months. Neither of us have any clue of the state he's in, but we're expecting the absolute worst, simply because the last and only time we underestimated him had ended horribly. And we don't wish to revisit the same experience ever.

Lightly, Vesper taps her knuckles against the oak wood door, both bracing ourselves from the sound of thumping footsteps emitting behind the closed door. With a subtle click and the doorknob twisting, our eyes meet with fathers stern stare as he opened the door fully a-wide. 

"Vesper," Father acknowledges her first with a slight nod, then his empty stare instantly turns into a repulsive glare when it darts to me. "Thing." He spit with disgraceful tones before stepping aside and allowing us to enter.

Father huffs whilst he makes his way back to his leather office chair, sitting himself comfortably and calls us over by nodding towards the chairs on the other side of his desk. I take my final stable breath, immediately feeling them become shallow and shaky as I walk towards the smaller leather chairs with Vesper. We take a seat simultaneously, keeping our eyes focused on father due to the fear of agitating him and needing the first day back home to be devoid of any physical abuse.

"How was your first term of seventh year, Vesper?" Father appreciatively smiles towards his favourite and ideal daughter, her respectable body language and ladylike appearance suffices our fathers high expectations for the woman who carry the Winters surname.

Vesper sits faultlessly and acceptably as though it's second nature to her, after all the years of our mother pestering about Vesper's posture and endlessly correcting it, she became accustomed to always sitting properly and soon it was a habitual routine. Her back is admirably straight, along with her shoulders and hands placed politely upon her lap— exactly how mother taught us.

'Back straight,   
shoulders up,  
hands on lap,  
eyes on the one speaking,'

If you were from an ordinary family, a family that don't have absurd royal-like rules or morals from the victorian days or high expectations for how women present themselves— then the manic actions that were taken to make Vesper and I the most proper of ladies would shock you. However, it's been in the Winters heritage for years and gets passed onto the new generations without fail.

— it mostly sucks because the men practically stand by the unwritten principles of pure insanity and sexism, and have evidently demonstrated through various generations that they aren't abolishing the rules anytime soon. To make matters even more irritating, not one of my ancestors had thought of or even meditated upon the simple thought of modifying them to oblige with everyone fairly, maybe converting the principles and morals from outdated to present day.

Honestly, it's seriously seems like the men born into the Winters bloodline are complete simps for their ancestors and their prehistoric morals.

Slouching on a couch at home is basically a dream— is it really too much to ask for?

"First term went well, father." Vesper replies, properly spoken and polite— it's somewhat comical to know it's all a charade and she acts quite the opposite when she's not in the vicinity of our parents.

"Studying hard, I hope. I'm expecting straight 'O's on your report card this year." He raises his eyebrows, his strong stare showing all signs of the sincerity behind his words and hinting at Vesper to not disappoint nor overstep him.

"Of course, you'll see O grades in all my subjects," I notice Vesper visibly gulp, "I assure you."

Father leans back into his cushioned, brown leather study chair and positions his forearms on the armrests, his right hand tapping against the fabric. "How's her behaviour after my important visit," He asks Vesper, his voice audible of anger from the mere mention of me. "She caused quite a problem with the Greengrass family."

"She apologised for her actions and keeps away from Astoria, I am certain it will never happen again." Vesper informs, the brown hues of hers not showing a slight glint of fear or panic whilst they focalised on fathers, her charade being fixed and utterly believable.

"Good," Father shoots a glare towards me, then shifts his focus back to Vesper. "Don't hesitate to take physical action, she'll act like the inbreed she is sooner or later."

Vesper nods, "Of course."

"You may leave, Vesper, I need to privately talk with her." He speaks with subtle rage, the anger brewing quickly. Vesper briefly glances to me, a worried look visible in her eyes from the moments look, she stands and exits the room without a sole word uttered.

As the door closes with a clink, father pushes himself off the chair and it screeches loudly against the wooden walnut floorboards. He strides from the other side of the desk, walking around its edge and stopping directly to my right. I gulp, holding my gaze straight forward and preparing myself for whatever is soon to occur.

"Mr Greengrass wasn't very pleased after being informed that you, an inbreed, had dismissed his daughters superiority." His tone harsh from infuriation, he places his hands upon the armrests of my chair and leans his weight against it. "Not only that, but you've neglected your manners."

"Back straight," Father takes a hand off the armrest, "Shoulders up." His hand grabs my shoulder, lifting it to the correct position that pleased fathers standards. "I swear, if I receive just one letter from the school about your wrong behaviour, you'll be dragged home by your hair. Understood?"

"Yes." I immediately agree, desperately praying for this moment to end.

"Good, now get out." Father steps back around the desk to his chair, then without a mere thought or hesitation, I rush out of his office and ensure to close the door lightly behind me. 

I sigh in relief once I meet different surroundings, no longer feeling like I'm suffocating from the intense and terrorising atmosphere of being in fathers presence. Taking a deep breath, I begin making my way towards Vesper's room; like I always did.

⋆ ⋆

(TW; please read with caution for the remainder of the chapter)

The next day   
— 22nd of December

Apparently I spoke rudely towards father during dinner tonight, which I can't seem to exactly pinpoint on what I did, however there's a likely chance that I did nothing wrong and father just needed to release his anger— it's a shame that I'm the only outlet for him to lash his anger out on, you'd assume father would've taken pity on me by now, considering this has been going on for roughly seven years; any normal person would realise how pointless it was to continue. 

I never reacted like how I used to when I was younger.

No fear in my eyes,

No pain...

Just a plain, empty expression. 

Plus, my countless busted lips and blistering bruises must've eventually bore him years ago. The sight is so normal for father. As far as one could tell, his years of torturing and tormenting me has became a sickening habit, and it truly doesn't take a genius to figure that out— it's so transparent that even a baby could fathom it. In another way, it may be an addiction to him.

A habit is a routine of behavior that is repeated frequently and gravitates towards occurring subconsciously, meaning it's executed without much thought. For example, heavy smokers may wake up everyday and start their mornings with a cigarette— it's barely thought on and they're just accustomed to it, like a routine. Supposedly, fathers acquired mode of his behaviour towards me has become nearly or completely involuntary for him, since it began years ago and never ended.

But, then again, an addiction is an urge to do something that is hard to control or stop— which seems quite comparable to father. It's defined as a chronic, relapsing disorder characterized by compulsive acts, continuing despite the harmful consequences, and long-lasting changes in the brain. Presumably, it's so customary for father that he's actually managed to rewire his brain— also, I'm sure many addicts have no clue or refuse to believe they're addicts; but father isn't like that, he knows what he does to me and doesn't care at all.

『 Flashback, Narrator POV』  
⇀ one hour ago

Vesper watched in anguish whilst her drunken mother neglected the sight of her youngest daughter being dragged by her hair cruelly, her own husband was behind the nefarious and careless act. Wilder Winters terrified his wife, Cecile, she witnessed the consequences he implemented upon Raven and feared that one day she might be in her daughters exact place.

Being abused mentally by her husband was already punishing enough for Cecile, the thought of painful bruises and bloody cuts adding to the draining mental violence seemed utterly unbearable— and maybe Cecile would never disclose this to Raven, but she prayed every night and begged the universe to protect her helpless daughter.

There was nothing more in this world that Cecile wanted other than to stop her husband, to stand up to him— but she couldn't, she was too frightened.

Vesper cleared her throat, "Mum, it's the second day back." 

"I'm aware." Cecile replied blankly, she easily comprehended to what Vesper was implying and she immediately dismissed it.

If Cecile couldn't build up the courage to her husband and tell him to stop, then basically no one could. He listened to himself and that was it, criticism or any judgement from others meant nothing but pointless words and a waste of ones energy.

"I'm sure you're also aware that bruises don't heal completely in a week," Vesper stared towards her mother, referring that Raven would appear an absolute wreck during the dinner at the Malfoy's in five days. "Raven doesn't deserve this."

Cecile gasped, shocked by the lack of hatred in her daughters voice. "Vesper, if your father believes his actions towards her are the best repercussions, then don't question it."

"One day— he'll go too far, then it will be you and I receiving the same 'repercussions'." Vesper sighed, concealing her frustration after hearing her mother's unsympathetic and ignorance. "Now, excuse me, I am leaving, please instruct a maid or elf to help her." 

With that, Vesper pushed back her dining chair and stormed towards the door that lead to the gardens, a cigarette and lighter in her pocket which she snagged from the kitchen bench earlier on. Cecile sighed, then stood up and made her way into the small living-room where the office room branched off.

Raven immediately collapsed to the cold, hardwood floor of her fathers office after they entered. A quiet, relieved sigh escaped Raven's lungs from the callous hold on her hair had released, but Raven wasn't unburdened by Wilder's torture for very long since her knees shot with pain as she slammed against the floor. 

Out of instinct, Raven scurried backwards. Her back colliding with the office door, an echoing bang filled the small room and she stared up at her father with absolute fear. With her back straight against the wooden door, knees to her chest and hands wrapped around her ankles, digging her nails into the skin, Wilder crouched adjacent to her.

His hatred for his step-daughter was plainly visible in his eyes alone, the brown irises fuelling with a spiteful and destructive fire raging through them. From Raven's mere mistake of accidentally creating noise, it had only made him much worse and the fire was raging inexorably.

Raven wasn't usually this terrified by her father, she had learnt to cope with it after seven years of excruciatingly living in hell. Her mind would instantly drop to an unconscious state, so pondering on ways to weather the furious storm of her father was relatively pointless, seeing as her mind did it for her. However, it had recently been blanking out seconds after the incident begins and not before, and Raven hated herself for it. 

She doesn't want to remember this.

No one would ever want to experience this pain.

"I thought I warned you yesterday?" Wilder glared evilly into Raven's frightened eyes. "Manners, bitch!"

"What did I do, sir?" Raven controlled her bottom lip from shaking, knowing it only satisfied her father more to see how terrorised she was by him, it made him feel powerful.

Suddenly, without any warning or indication, a strong fist collided viciously with her jaw.

Then another clashed against her nose, she felt the warm blood trickle from both her nostrils and dripping down her lips.

Before she could even see the third punch coming, her mind finally went black.

Peace, at least, just what Raven so desperately needed. 

She has absolutely no clue on how she'd react if her mind never fell into an unconscious state, it seems like levels above the pain she already endures. Thankfully, she's only really felt the horrid aftermaths and two seconds of the beginnings, even thinking about undergoing the torture consciously had alarmed her.

Hopefully, she'll always fall into the safe darkness of her mind. 

It never hurt anyone, only protects her— and that's all that matters to Raven.

Raven heard a door slam loudly, followed by the subtle click of a lock and she grasped that it was over, her mind bringing her back slowly. Her hands positioned flat against the floor, feeling the change of flooring upon her palms; it felt smooth and polished, not uneven and rough. 

Once Raven was fully conscious, her gaze lifted up from the cream polished floor and landed on a dinky house elf, named Shinny, the elves caliginous black eyes stared back as though it was waiting for something. 

"Is Miss awake?" Shinny asked, I hoisted myself into a kneeling position and shivered from the cool floor against my bruised shins and knees. 

"Unfortunately." I joked, clearly not amusing myself nor the house elf considering neither of us laughed.

"I've been sent to help you, orders from Mistress." She informed, and before I knew it, Shinny had disapparated her and myself to the black leather sofa's of the living-room. Obviously, the little elf wasn't going to help me walk there, so I suppose apparating barely three metres was wise.

I sat upon the left of the sofa, leaning my weight against the armrest and calmly allowed Shinny to clean me up. Mother was seated on the matching style armchair, angled to my left and her eyes flickered across my beaten appearance every few seconds.

After Shinny finished, she vanished with a pop. 

present time

"You were passed out for ages." Mother said, her amber eyes on mine, vacant of emotion whilst the smoke from her newly lit cigarette dwindles into the stiff, hazed air surrounding us.

"That doesn't come as a surprise to me, ma'am." I reply nonchalantly, viewing the cigarette between her index and middle finger, which is accompanied by a half full glass of bubbling champagne, fitting the two in her one hand so delicately despite being 'improper' items for ladies. 

Mother raises an eyebrow, trailing her eyes to where mine kept landing upon, "Would you like one?" She asked, using her free hand to point towards the cigarette packet situated on the coffee table, randomly offering me one. 

I furrow my brows in confusion, unsure of whether she's being serious or playing some hilarious joke on me, "I—"

"I went to Hogwarts too, Raven." She laughs lightly from my uncertainty, "It can't have changed much, yes? Surprising how such things go unnoticed by the professors."

Gulping, I slowly lean forward and fetch the cigarette packet from the table, all whilst keeping skeptical eye contact with my mother. I slide one of the sticks from amongst the packet, holding it between my fingers as I place the packet back onto the table.

"What do you mean?" I question, reluctantly taking the lighter that mother was holding out for me.

"Hogwarts, your not telling me there's no parties or fun, right?" She widens her eyes, assuming that Hogwarts had become dull since her schooling there.

"Oh— there's parties, a little crazy honestly." I shrug, lightly positioning the cigarette amidst my and pressing my thumb along the lighters trigger. Lifting the tangerine flame to the end of the stick, I inhale gently and feel the mild tobacco fill my lungs. "Your cigarettes are the smoother type."

Mother smiles, nodding slightly. "The strong ones make me feel sick— now tell me, why are the parties crazy?"

"They probably aren't, I've just never been to any parties before." I admit, the smoke escaping my mouth freely as I talk.

Peering back towards mother, I notice her face had dropped to guilt, "I suppose— Hogwarts parties aren't bad for your first experience." Mother shrugs, brushing away her guilty expression to a much empty look.

This moment is extremely absurd. Mother is actually talking me, like having a proper conversation with me and she doesn't even appear repulsed by my presence at all. It's conflicting with all my horrid memories of her; 

Memories where she'd watch father hurt me—

"Little brat," Father spat, dragging me from my chair and shoved me to the hard floor.

I glanced at mother, begging her with my eyes to show compassion for me and tell father to stop.

But she didn't, her eyes watched blankly as father slammed his fist against the side of my head. 

Overlooked his actions—

"This is inhumane!" Vesper said to mother frantically, the two adjacent to one another in the large foyer. 

Mother huffed, "It's how he was brought up."

Vesper rolled her eyes, scoffing, "You know it's insane too!"

"I believe your fathers has perfectly reasonable justifications to support his particular disciplines." She shot back, her stern tone silenced Vesper immediately.

It's simply been years of torture.

Watching mother disregard my safety, mental well-being and physical appearance has been utterly exhausting. 

The only kindness she's displayed towards me was begging father to keep me, instead of sending me to a muggle orphanage— as well as ordering house elves and maids to assist me after dealings with father. That's fundamentally all the compassion she's shown, if you can even call it compassion. 

In my eyes, it appears more like mother is upholding our family name— predominantly sheltering fathers outrageous outbursts of his anger from the world outside of this Mansions walls, along with guarding the brutal actuality related to his unsettling abuse towards me. Despite the fact that majority of the wealthy, superior Wizarding families are acquainted with my presence and completely mindful of fathers hatred for halfbloods, and me of course, they are ultimately impervious to the unvarnished reality.

At times, I find myself thoroughly pondering on mothers situation of being the only one protecting the Winters name, mother is primarily doing all of fathers dirty work and busting a gut for him. Her desperate actions taken to conceal the truth is honestly excessive, however she's protecting herself at the same time. If mother were to divorce father, or even bring up the topic of separating, father wouldn't think twice before unearthing her secrets and basically ruining her life with them. 

I somewhat feel sorry for her, but it's an incredibly narrow margin split between feeling sorry and remorseless for mother. 

Yeah, she's in a shitty situation. Married to a deceitful and powerful man, who will carelessly leak more information regarding my mother, and she candidly can't do anything about it other than endure it. Honestly, father exposing mothers affair with a halfblood and becoming pregnant by him seems quite enough; we're just fortunate that no one seemed to actually bother with the whole 'halfblood child', and mostly that she had an affair. 

But, whatever, mother was young and forced into an arranged marriage— the past is the past.

"Raven," Mother cleared her throat, putting out the cigarette by pressing the end into the metal disc, which rested upon the right armrest of the recliner. I glance up from the book I had began reading not too long ago, my eyes landing on mother's golden hues. "I want you to always know that I pray every night, just for you."

I furrow my brows in absolute disbelief, her abrupt change of etiquette towards me, it being something out of my wildest dreams. "May I ask, why?" I wonder, closing the book and placing it upon the cushion space to my right.

"No questions, that's all." She adjusts her posture, straightening her back and fixating her eyes to the newspaper open atop of her lap. "Fetch me the bottle with the gold label, will you?" 

"Is it the only bottle with a gold label?" I stand up, feeling my muscles aching from exhaustion.

"Yes, you'll find it." 

I wander towards the kitchen, caressing my fingertips against the swollen right side of my face, sighing with annoyance when I realise the huge, deep purple mark that would be visible tomorrow. 

Heading to the far left side of the white marble counter, I peer at all the various champagnes and wines in search for the 'golden label' bottle. Mother intentionally kept the cheaper liquors in our kitchen, and the expensive bottles reside to the walls of the cellar. The cheap liquors are actually rather pricey, mother pointlessly drinks and finishes each bottle as though the cost of them are under 100 galleons, when in reality they're roughly 400 galleons. ($2,000).

Only Merlin knows why honestly.

It baffles me. 

A woman drinks such pricey wine on a daily basic, however smokes the most mild and cheapest cigarettes? Strange.

Eventually, my eyes spot the gold label that was hidden behind another bottle. I carefully reach for it, wary of not creating a mess like last time, then swiftly retrieve it and fortunately I didn't shatter nor spill any of the other bottles. 

Immediately walking back to the living-room after popping the cork off, I take note on mother's expecting hand that extended across the armrest and pass the pricey champagne into mother's hand whilst I walk by her recliner. Mother instantly takes the bottle from my grasp, mumbling utter gibberish, which I assume to be her way of thanking me, and doesn't let a moment spare as she begins pouring the golden champagne into her classy tulip shape glass.

Sitting where I had originally sat only a few minutes ago, I pick up the book and quietly read.

⋆ ⋆

I yawn tiredly, my concentration being ripped from the intriguing pages of the mystery genre novel after hearing the sound of dishes and water clashing together. Glancing behind me, over the back of the sofa, my dozy eyes land straightaway upon one of the maids, Gabriella, washing and drying white china dishes. 

I peer at the clock that's hung on the wall that separates the living-room and kitchen, being curious of the time considering the sun had fully set and the rooms visible to me were illuminated with artificial lights. Yawning once more, exhaustion rapidly settling within me from noticing that the time is nearly nine o'clock, I had been sitting here for approximately three hours.

However, mother hadn't asked for another bottle nor requested me to fill her glass— for quite a while. Taking my eyes off the clock and facing back from Gabriella towards my mother, I pay heed to the slowly burning cigarette between her fingers, along with the golden champagne still half way filled in the glass and balanced on the armrest skilfully. My eyes shift towards her face, expecting to detect mother sleeping, which typically meant I could leave since she'd slumber to the hours before noon tomorrow.

Under normal circumstances of seeing mother dozed into an intoxicated sleep, I would routinely place the liquor bottle, along with all other loose items upon the wooden coffee table, before eventually abiding to the white walls of my room throughout the long hours between now until the sun beamed into my room. 

Regardless of all the previous times where I'd normally be glad that my night of alcohol fetching was cut short, I'm not entirely appreciative towards mother's early drunken slumber during this particular occasion. Blinking anxiously at the sight before me, attempting to convince myself that I'm solely overthinking and jumping to thoughtless conclusions. I belatedly grasp reality after moments of desperate and silly judgements, my body no longer feels frozen from the weird disturbance, helping me to scrape my composure together and hold off my whizzing thoughts of worry. 

I timidly stand to my feet, knitting my brows with fear whilst I take two shaky steps towards mother, residing adjacent to her and my eyes widen from reality hitting me.

There's been numerous occasions were her eyes would be slightly open, since her muscles are relaxed from the alcohol and sleep would dawn upon her rapidly, however this time is different— very. 

Her eyes were bordering on being completely open, rolled back and her gorgeous irises barely visible. However, from the slight colour of them peeking beneath her sunken eyelids, I feel my breaths hitch from not detecting a mere sign of life within them. 

Mothers lips parted loosely, her skin appearing sickly pale. 

Out of frantic concern, my eyes focalise upon her chest and immediately notice she wasn't breathing.

Oh my god.

The adrenaline induced by shock rapidly dissipates, reality suffocating me. 

My breaths start to decrease to painfully shallow inhales and exhales, lungs wheezing harshly in desperation for enough oxygen. With my arms stiffly locked by my sides, I involuntarily clench my fists tightly and sense my nails digging into my palms, but I'm unable to respond to the slight pain or stop myself and release my tensed fists. 

All I can do is stare.

I'm motionless.

I hear light footsteps sound behind me, steadily growing in volume before they come to a complete halt, the figure standing directly beside on my left. 

"What's wrong?" Gabriella's voice queries, her soft hand contacting with my shoulder from concern.

"I— she..." I nervously stutter, my words a jumbled mess. "Dead." The only word I seriously attempt to speak, urgently needing Gabriella to comprehend why I'm in a uncontrollable and motionless state. 

Forcing my gaze up from my mother towards Gabriella, I watch the exact moment where she grasps the reason for my shock. Her hand immediately slaps across her mouth, speechless and in shock like me. 

"Miss, I'll escort you to your room, okay?" Gabriella informs, I nod in agreement. 

I can't even build enough strength to speak, it's pointless to argue back with Gabriella.

Plus, the man of the house, my father, will soon have the news communicated to him— and it's basic commonsense to keep me locked in my room, who knows what'll happen to me if I'm within his vicinity after being notified of his wife's death.

What if I'm dreaming?

That's silly, Gabriella's hand on my upper back feels real.

Is mother actually gone? 

Gabriella and I briskly reach the top of the grand stairs, starting to advance down the hallway that leads to my bedroom, but also Vesper's. 

"Gabriella, I'd like to stay with Vesper tonight." My nails still craving deep, bloody crescent moons into my pale palms. 

"Of course, Miss." Gabriella nods, guiding us to the left instead of the right.

Her knuckles tap gently against the intricate patterned oak door three times, the door opening barely a few seconds later. Vesper's eyebrows furrow with concern, immediately taking me from Gabriella and into her room.

Gabriella bows subtly, "I'm sorry, but I'm sure she'll inform you."

"Um— sure, thank you." Vesper confusedly replies, politely waiting for Gabriella to disappear down the hallway and shuts the door without a mere sound. 

Still in a state of shock, I hear Vesper sigh before she plies her hands into my own, stopping me from digging my nails further into my skin.

I have no clue what's going on.

Did I witness my mother.. dead?

What if she's just— okay and it was a false alarm?

I never expected this to happen to soon, mother had started being nice to be only hours ago.

Couldn't it have lasted a tiny bit longer? I felt— happy. Mother hadn't ignored me for once, but it was ended short? Why?

I suppose, after all, I'll never feel the love of a mother.

but that's not the worst of this situation, mother was my only source of help whilst at home without Vesper present.

Oh god


	56. Chapter 56

All the days leading up towards the 25th of December had merged together, feeling like one whole continuous and tortuously dragged on day. It felt similar to hell honestly, but if I'm brutally truthful— I wasn't entirely saddened over mother's death. As much as I tried to convince myself it pained me to be forever absent of her presence, it just wasn't enough. 

Supposedly it's because I know mother's free at last, she can have an eternal life without the stresses of her husband and never worry about him ruining her life, nor hurting her— forever. I'm happy for her mostly, maybe that's the reason I don't feel so miserable. 

Mother never, ever has to defend father again. She's truly free.

I'm worried about a few things however— those being concerns of my safety now that mother is gone, she relentlessly ordered maids and house elves to tend to me when Vesper wasn't around; what will happen now? 

In some ways, I actually am sad to know she's gone and never returning— but it's mostly due to Vesper. 

They got along, sort of, however I understood it was enough for Vesper. She just wanted a present mother, and she plainly received that. I don't know much about their mother-daughter relationship, but it seemed to satisfy them both effectively. Vesper had a woman figure in her life, one that she could converse with and discuss lady problems or any type of problems for that matter. The rope between them wasn't incredibly sturdy, but it strongly held on until presently. Mother bought Vesper pretty things too, like jewellery and clothes, I knew Vesper was thankful for that as well. 

Alike me, Vesper is always fearing for my safety and she's clueless on how to help. If she attempts to protect me, father will become suspicious and maybe violent towards her, and I refuse to let that happen. 

We haven't got a single thought on what to do. 

Nonetheless,   
Christmas flew by with a blink of an eye, just as though the day was insignificant amongst our family, which wasn't true at all. Instead of our relatives visiting us like they always did every year, things were drastically different this holiday season. The maids notified Vesper and I that father had called off our relatives on visiting this year, and said to possibly attend next year, but not to keep their hopes up; which seems rather rude if you ask me.

For the whole day of Christmas, Vesper and I abided happily within the bounds of her luxurious room, and it wasn't too bad actually. The maids had brought up food, along with the house elves dropping in christmas crackers every hour. It was sweet, and if they were hoping to enlighten to mood, then they succeeded without fault.

Vesper talked about Theo for majority of the day, I believe she was desperately wanting to keep her mind off mother and direct it towards happy things— which is completely understandable. She hadn't really unearthed the subject on mother yet, nor had she asked what I saw that night. I wouldn't mind telling her if that's what she'd want, but I don't wholly suppose she wants to discuss just her yet. 

Soon enough, the day after Christmas passed and the event I had been dreading for days had unfortunately arrived.

And I can't say I'm too thrilled about it. 

⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ 

27th of December, 4:26pm

"Master expects you both in the foyer at five." Gimbel notifies before promptly disappearing quicken than he had arrived, causing Vesper to chuckle softly from how unfailingly abrupt Gimbel was.

I quietly sigh, observing my plain appearance intently with the large floor length mirror in Vesper's room. 

When an occasion occurred that involves wealthy, important wizarding families, I always looked so bland. Father forbade me from wearing pricey clothing and shimmering jewellery, he said it made me appear respected by him and that it would be a disgrace to the Winters name, which seems incredibly preposterous in all honestly.

It's not that I didn't like wearing a simple shirt and jeans, just after the school dance I felt happy with my appearance for once in my life and it was amazing. I looked striking in such gorgeous attire, it actually astounded me at first. Ever since I was old enough to comprehend that I wasn't respected within my family, my outward appearance was how it was always conveyed— that I'm a halfblood, undeserving of pretty clothes and forced to show my blood status through clothing.

Basic shirts,   
plain jeans,   
boring sweaters, 

I appeared like a muggle in some ways.

Nonetheless, I grew accustomed to simple outfits until I began attending Hogwarts— then everything unexpectedly turned upside down.

Since I never wore stunning garments or accessories, I assumed I would look dreadful in them and almost out of character, but it's the complete opposite. 

I actually suit pricey clothes, and they always seem to weirdly fit with perfection.

Unfortunately, my new found love will have to be confined within the walls of Hogwarts, or when father meets his endless rest— then, I think, I'm essentially unshackled from my fathers rules and can do whatever I wish in peace.

Despite that, I don't imagine I'll have to wait years for father to pass away; he's absent of the one woman who defended him and repeatedly shielded his behaviour, but now that mother is gone, I suspect father will break and his true colours ought to be exposed. I'm not certain on what would happen after that, fathers stupidly wealthy and could easily buy himself out of any mishaps, hopefully people won't overlook child abuse if he ever truly got unmasked in the future.

Vesper frowns, standing beside me and resting her head against my shoulder comfortably. "What's up?" She asks, glancing at me through the reflection in the mirror.

I snicker, "I look so— dull."

"Ray," Vesper lifts her head off me, staring with disbelief, "It's the best you've ever looked when we attend these bullshit dinners."

"You think?" I furrow my brows, firmly tugging the hem of my black skirt so it would rest a little further down my thighs.

Maybe, just maybe, Vesper's right.

"Yes, I do." She rolls her eyes, nudging me with her shoulder whilst she walks past me. 

It's plain, but it's similar to an outfit I'd wear during the weekends at school. A plain black skirt, which was flawlessly ironed to pleats and reaching two or three inches past my arse— it's rather skimpy, but Vesper begged me to wear it for some unknown reason. 

Then, alongside the evidently informal skirt, I wore a cream knitted sweater, the style completely incomparable to the skirt. Not to mention, it's so cosy and soft. Adding to my bland outfit, I paired my typical choice of shoes with it, however the converse weren't worn and dirty anymore— Vesper was taught a charm by Theo, a charm that turns items to how they originally looked. Pretty useful, honestly.

Vesper's outfit screams 'rich', I look like a literal peasant beside her. She wore a flattering, black dress that reached just above her mid-thigh, the material is silky and sensational to the touch. It's loose past the hips, tight around the waist and looks beautiful on her. Her shoes were subtle to what she typically wore, they're beige kitten heels with red bottoms, which apparently shows that your wealthy?

"I really don't want to see Draco." I huff, brushing my fingers through my brown tresses to rid it of any slight tangles that may have formed.

"Me neither, I actually think I might murder him if he even so much as speaks." Vesper shrugs, emerging from the bathroom and shutting the door behind her.

"Well— he'll end up dead pretty quickly then, considering it's his home." I clasp Vesper's hand in mine as she strolls beside me, waving her hand around and hinting for me to hold it. "Ves, we can't—"

Vesper sighs, sending me a brief glance, "He lost his wife—" She suddenly says, surprising herself as well as me. "Wow, I— didn't expect to talk about it so soon."

"Me neither really." I purse my lips, stepping close to Vesper's side while we wander towards the door. "But, I guess your right."

Her hand reaches for the doorknob, "Trust me, he has enough shit on his mind, I doubt he'll even notice." She smiles with reassurance, swiftly opening the door and allows me to exit first. 

Vesper shuts the door behind her, then we proceed to amble towards the foyer. 

As we step down the stairs, feelings of dread cloud upon me. "Wait— are you positive?" I fret, slowing my pace and inducing Vesper to slow as well.

"I'm positive, he barely notices anything when he's stressed." Vesper solaces, her hand squeezing mine tightly but also gentle. 

I furrow my brows, "You think he's stressed?"

Vesper hums in affirmation, "Why wouldn't he be? Plus, he hasn't bothered to check up on me, nor request to see you." 

"Okay." I breathe deeply, continuously reminding myself that Vesper's right and father won't bother to hurt me since he's so riled up with more important things. 

Stepping off the final stair, Vesper and I advance to the foyer in relief, glad that we were on time and arrived before father. We stand side by side, hiding our hands safely behind our backs incase father did have an outburst. However, Vesper was positive that he wouldn't notice or bother to discuss it.

Footsteps become audible, along with the sight of father proudly striding from the hallway and towards us.

Once he stands before us, Vesper and I nod our heads in acknowledgement, earning a faint nod from father. To be honest, he looks quite the opposite of a man who just lost his wife. 

His eyes aren't sparse of his usual spiteful aspects, they weren't drooped due to mourning or sadness, not a slight sight that mother's death had effected him at all. He didn't he have tired bags under his eyes, there isn't any vague bags there anyway. 

His head is held high, still believing he's the all high and mighty one. 

Eyes still glared into mine evilly.

Father seems suspiciously fine.

"I'd hate to repeat this, but if you aren't on your best behaviour," Father pierced his eyes onto mine, "There will be repercussions to your actions, and I won't be happy due to the recent circumstances."

"Of course, father." I nod, promising that I'll behave and abide to his strict rules.

"Good. Vesper hold my arm, dear." He instructs.

Immediately after Vesper links her arm with fathers, he apparates us to the right outside the front door of Malfoy Manor. 

Vesper unlinks her arm with fathers, dropping it to her side and squeezes my hand with comfort, considering she noticed my hands beginning to shake due to nerves. After everything with Draco, it would be completely humiliating if my father insulted me whilst in the vicinity of Draco and his parents. I know I shouldn't be ashamed of it, however I can't really help it. For years I always believed it was my fault and that I deserved it, but Vesper and my new friends are slowly making me realise that it isn't my fault at all.

I still somewhat think it's my fault.

Also, it's rather strange now that I'm aware of how much Draco knows about me— but I suppose it's the same for him, I mean, his own father pushed me to the floor. He'd obviously feel embarrassed by that, right? 

Father knocks his knuckles against the black-painted, wooden front door and remains holding his head high with dignity. 

Soon, I hear footsteps growing closer towards the door, followed by a few clicks and the door-handle moves around, then it steadily opens and we're greeted with the warm smile of Narcissa Malfoy. She steps aside, allowing us to enter and quickly shut the door behind me, trapping the warm air within the Manor and keeping the arctic breeze of winter outside.

Narcissa was a lovely woman, mostly because she didn't join her husband nor my father in their purist slander against me. She remained quiet, only glanced at me in greetings and never payed me any attention— which I prefer actually. I'd rather she ignored me other than insulting me, it's just one less thing to worry about.

She was wearing a midnight black robe that has intricate embroidery around the neckline, followed with black fur around the cuffs of the sleeves and hem, flowing down to the floor and slightly sways outwards from her hips. The robe is latched closed with a metal button around her waist, only just showing the simple dark green dress worn underneath. Not to mention the dazzling diamonds hanging from her ears, as well as loosely around her neck. 

"It's a pleasure to see you, Wilder." Narcissa politely smiles, I watch as father greeted her with a firm hand shake. "Lucius won't be a minute." She informs father, earning a nod in response by him and she steps adjacent to Vesper and I.

"Mrs Malfoy." Vesper and I unintentionally say at the same time, sharing a glance of uncertainty to how we managed that.

Narcissa smiles, concealing a subtle chuckle from Vesper and I's synchronisation. "Oh, don't be silly girls— you may call me Narcissa."

Vesper and I nod in agreement.

"Wonderful to see you again, Vesper, it's been quite a while." Narcissa briefly embraces Vesper, her hands placed on her back so delicately. "You too, Raven." then out of the blue, she exchanges a small embrace with me as well.

I smile, allowing Vesper to speak. "We appreciate your invitation for tonight, It'll be good for us." Vesper says softly.

"Of course, it's truly no hassle." 

Surprisingly, I wasn't ignored for the first time in my life and was actually greeted by her, however I suppose it's due to her husband not being present.

⋆⋆

Lucius emotionlessly greeted Vesper and I not too long after we entered the Manor, his welcoming towards father was much more enthusiastic and seemed thrilled to discuss business matters with him— which, in my eyes, doesn't appear interesting in any way.  
However, they are two cruel men, who both abuse their children, so of course they would get along. 

We were immediately guided towards the dining room once Lucius had joined us. 

When we took our seats at the table, I promptly noticed that Draco wasn't here yet, nor had he made a mere appearance, but I quickly brushed that thought away. I'm not here to ponder about Draco's whereabouts or him at all for that matter, I need to focus on ensuring I don't agitate father, because the last thing I want is for Draco to witness my father scolding me.

I would simply want to die if that happened. 

Thankfully, my seat at the table is beside Vesper and Narcissa, being in between the two. An empty chair was adjacent to me, with Lucius at the head of the table and father diagonally right to me. I'd probably be pleased with the seating arrangement if Draco hadn't just walked into the room and took a seat directly opposite me.

From his presence alone, my breaths were unsteady.

"Sorry for being late," Draco apologies, his eyes flicker from Lucius to Narcissa, attaining nods from them both to convey that they accept his apology, "Mr Winters, Raven, Vesper," He greets, my name slipping off his tongue with pure distaste. 

Deciding to ignore him, Narcissa calls out the maids and we soon have our plates brought out.

Around ten tortuous minutes had passed, the conversations and its topics remained civil, however for that to rapidly change is practically an impending doom. It's soon to happen, it always does.

Father only allowed me to have the first main course, which was some fancy steak dish, I wouldn't be too sure on what it was— food at home wasn't exquisite or anything, I barely sat at the table and was never blessed with quality food. I'd usually ask Vesper to order the house elves to make me dinner, and it was never anything special; normally soup, salad or pasta— so many options. 

Apparently though, father feels the need to implement that rule everywhere we go, and it's absolutely stupid. He assured Narcissa and Lucius that I had eaten at home, and wouldn't require any more refined dishes. Honestly, I'm getting fed up with my three dinner options and sheer starvation due to not being worthy enough of good meals. 

As the adults converse about something to do with father earning a promotion of work, I anxiously fiddle with my hands upon my lap and fixate my eyes onto the empty table space in front of me, staring pointlessly at the smooth, spruce-wood surface.

"We send our condolences to yourself, Vesper and Raven," Narcissa's soft voice draws me from my daydream, "I can't imagine how you all feel."

Father sighs, "It's truly heartbreaking, she'll be missed."

Vesper and I awkwardly smile to show our appreciation, the topic of mother is still quite difficult for Vesper to discuss, so we didn't intend on adding anything to fuel that sensitive subject.

Another ten minutes fly by, I was trying so hard to keep my rumbling stomach at bay, the decision to skip lunch today was clearly a stupid idea. 

The conversations weren't of any relevance to me, and father always ordered me to never talk unless I'm spoken to— and currently, no one had muttered a single word to me and I'm thankful for it.

"Vesper, I must ask, how's seventh year treating you?" Narcissa curiously questions, slightly glancing over me and towards Vesper.

"It's been difficult," Vesper promptly replies, "But, Raven promised to help me, she's incredibly smart."

Oh Merlin— why Vesper??

Father scoffs, typical. "I highly doubt she can assist you with the seventh year curricular." 

I hear Vesper sigh quietly, "I assure you, father, she's smart."

"I'd much prefer to pay for a tutor, than for that inbreed to incorrectly assist you, Vesper." He remarks through gritted teeth, controlling his lividity with conscientious. 

Biting the inside of my cheek, feeling embarrassed by father insulting me whilst at the table, I take a deep breath and ceaselessly remind myself that I will be fine. I glance up out of impulse, accidentally locking eyes with his silver ones and I hastily catch sight of how severely tense Draco appears.

His eyes were the shade of the clouds in the sky, not the fluffy white kind, but the ones with a hue so darkly grey that they could have been heavily pencil drawn. Even when they appeared caliginous, like a heavy storm that clouded the land, they still had that soothing glint of light from the sun forcing its golden rays through the dense clouds, the shine and meaningful appearance, yet still strained, the beauty invisible to the majority but I everlastingly perceived it. Heedless of how dark his glare could be, or the intimidation behind them, there is a permanent blue complementing the stormy grey.

In contrast to his eyes, they appear like the only aspect that display emotion. If you were to completely ignore Draco's gaze, then you wouldn't have a second thought on discerning him as anything but stressed. The dark circles under his eyes are bleak and beyond conspicuous, so prominent that it's the initial feature your eyes would catch onto before anything else. Drearier in comparison to the last time I saw him, which was only a week or so, the dull circles had grew to a significant darkness that resembled a person deprived of sleep— was he sleeping?

His jaw is tensed, lips in a firm line and eyebrows slightly furrowed whilst his gaze seems to be examining me— just like I was. 

"I appreciate that, however, Raven has already began helping me and is doing a great job." Vesper smiles charmingly, my face dropping for her slight attitude towards father.

In fear, I hesitantly look over to father and immediately grasp sight of his top lip twitching furiously. 

"Excuse me for a moment," Father calmly stands from his chair, sharply pointing at me with his index finger whilst he walks out of the dining room and disappears into the foyer. 

I gulp, anxiously peering at Vesper before standing up and excusing myself as well.

Entering the foyer, fortunately out of sight from the dining room, Father was stood with his arms crossed sternly over his chest, his back facing the front door that was behind him. Nervously, I step towards him and my tremors painstakingly escalate to a walloping level when I perceive the sheer rage plastered across his features. My nerves were drowning me, fears so intense that I can essentially feel my heart thumping against my chest and the beats of my anxious heart are rapidly pulsing through my ears.

I stand adjacent to father, gulping in distress. "Please— not here." I plead, but it was pointless. 

Abruptly, without any words spat by father in response, he viciously collides his fist against my face lacking a mere thought or consideration towards the location we're currently at. I disorderedly stumble back from the force, struggling to keep my balance whilst cradling my jaw firmly once the pain drowns me— the agony doubles due to a blistering bruise already settled there. Losing my balance owing to the searing pain being stupendously unbearable, I pitch backwards and impact with the cold tiled flooring.

I whimper, ignoring the agony piercing the right side of my hips as it wasn't anything like the pain in my jaw. Staring up at father, terror in my eyes, he steps towards me and promptly crouches down to meet eye level with me. 

"Always ask for permission first, you disgraceful girl." Father scowls, glaring evilly and rejecting the sheer pain I'm in. 

"So—Sorry." I whisper, trying urgently to relieve the agony that my jaw is in.

Father exhales sharply, then casually stands and directs his eyes away from mine to straight ahead. Unemotionally, he simply adjusts his suit jacket and begins to recede back into the dining room. Yet, whilst he courses past me, he takes one final action of wounding me and punts his polished shoe against my ribs with limitless ferocity. I grunt, clutching my side with my left arm and hugging myself in the process.

I hear light footsteps from behind me, however I can't find the energy to glance up because of how humiliated I feel. "Goodness, are you okay, Miss?" An unfamiliar woman kneels beside me, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"Yes," I sharply murmur through the pain, "Thank you."

"Let me help you to your feet." The woman kindly offers, holding her hands out for me to take. I timidly hesitate, unsure of why the woman offered to assist me, but I sigh quietly before removing my hands from my jaw and ribs, taking her hands instead.

The woman thoughtfully helps me from the floor, releasing my hands once I'm steadily standing. I smile in appreciation, noting how I've never seen this maid before.

Her head bows, the loose strands midnight black hair falling over her forehead from the low bun. A final friendly glance is exchanged before she spins on the balls of her feet, then walks the way she had came from. 

Blinking in confusion, assuming that she's definitely new and isn't aware of the rules that the other maids abide by— 'Don't help the youngest daughter of Winters', that rule has been around since the first time I ever stepped in this Manor, and the maids invariably adhere to it without hesitation.

I sigh, tactfully raking my fingers through my hair and ensuring to leave some hanging over my right shoulder, hoping to hide the bruise on my jaw to absolutely any degree. Gulping down my embarrassment, I awkwardly return to the dining room and painfully ignore the agony that's piercing my ribs.

Noticing Draco nor his father were present, I quickly take my seat and evade Vesper's eyes, which I could feel against me.

"Wilder, this is just a though— but how about the girls stay here tonight?" Narcissa queries, her voice sterner than usual. "I'll ensure Raven is put to good use, she won't be treated with respect, I assure you." 

I glance to father, his eyebrows furrowing with thought. "Excellent idea, Narcissa. It'll be nice to have a night to myself, I truly appreciate it."

"Of course, you seem like a break will do you good." Narcissa places her white serviette upon her plate, smiling towards father with assurance.

Narcissa instructs the maids to clear the table whilst we walk father to the front door, saying our goodbyes. 

"She can tolerate anything, I allow you to take any appropriate actions towards her." Father informs, his brown hues are kind as they focalised on Narcissa.

"Certainly," Narcissa nods in agreement, "It was a pleasure to see you, Wilder, take care." 

One of their maids open the door for father, "Thank you, you too."

With that, father turns around and departs into the freezing winter air, the maid immediately closing the door behind him. 

"Julie, please show the girls to the spare room." She smiles towards the maid that had just closed the door, also being the woman who assisted me only minutes ago.

Vesper glances at me before quickly darting her eyes to Narcissa with bewilderment, "She'll be sharing a room with me?"

"Oh— Would you prefer separate rooms? I assumed that you'd like one another's presence at the moment." Narcissa furrows her thin eyebrows, conveying a puzzled look towards both Vesper and I.

"No, no, it isn't that—"

I gulp, "She's trying to figure out why I'm being respected, ma'am."

Narcissa stares in shock, but also a somewhat remorseful glint shrouds her coffee brown hues. "Please, call me Narcissa." She sighs quietly, "Lucius just left for a business trip, and you must be aware that I don't share beliefs with my husband."

"Narcissa— this is dangerous, you don't have to." I falter, knitting my brows together with guilt that she was disregarding her husbands principles.

"Raven, it's not dangerous at all. I promise you, no one will utter a word to Lucius about this." She assures, stepping forward and kindly taking my hands in her own. "—And there's no need to worry about Draco either, I'm certain he'll be quiet as well."

I nod faintly in understanding, "Thank you."

"If you need absolutely anything, please don't hesitate to ask." Narcissa smiles sweetly, "Show them to their room, thanks Julie."

Narcissa releases my hands, her warm, comforting touch is blanketed by the cool air once again. 

⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆

Sitting alone in the spacious, classy spare bedroom— it really made me ponder upon what the rooms, that weren't spare, would look like.

The feature wall is a pinky beige colour with an intricate pattern covering the entirety of the surface, two walls are void from patterns and the same colour of blush beige. As for the final wall, a window practically expands throughout the surface and leaves a small space above from the floor with a thin ledge. 

The window has a gossamery white curtain cascading from the ceiling towards the floor, narrowly blurring the window as the curtains elegant material is transparent. A second, as well as a third curtain are partially draped on either side of the window and latched to the wall in a flawless manner. They were perfectly even on each side, the purposeful folds in the fabric are void of crinkles and creases. Sticking with the colour scheme of the luxurious bedroom, the back curtains are a mere shade darker in comparison to the frontal layered fabric that's a dusky pink-beige.

A pristine, white sheeted bed is situated in the middle of the room, with the fabric headboard against the patterned feature wall. The puffy duvet is a honeycomb pattern and drapes over the sides of the mattress, just hovering above the floor, along with a silky material and heavenly smooth to the touch. A large rectangular mirror is hung in the centre of the wall, above the bed, and the bottom edge is placed safely against the wall and headboard.

Two white nightstands are on either side of the bed. A simple, small desk is beside the right nightstand with a faux, light pink chair tucked under.

It's rather exquisite honestly.

Soft, cool sheets brush along the bare skin of my legs each time I'd move them, sending shivers up my spine from the cold temperature. My back was rested against the classy cushioned headboard, sitting freely in the middle of the mattress since Vesper had abandoned me. 

I had picked up a book from one of the sleeves in the room, it wasn't all that interesting but it didn't bore me either. I slowly swipe my leg across the silky sheets, the feeling being a sense of comfort upon me. 

Keeping one leg splayed directly in front of me, I slightly prop the other and lay my foot flat against the mattress, using my thigh to hold up the leatherback book.

I had been squirming impatiently upon the bed for a while now, frequently changing my position whilst I pondered and waited for Vesper to return.

Around thirty minutes after Julie escorted Vesper and I to this room, she was informed that Theodore Nott had just arrived per her request. Vesper deserted me within this silent room and immediately disappeared to spend time with Theo, and she's been gone for roughly an hour now.

I'm growing rather bored honestly.

The room is so quiet, only sounds audible are the sheets ruffling beneath me and my soft breaths.

Being without someone feels so strange. Since mothers passing, I never left Vesper's side, we even slept beside one another.

I don't think I'm ready to be alone after mother's death.

As billions of thoughts excessively stack upon each other, refusing to let me control them, my blaring mind is joined with another sound; a sound of someone knocking on the door. 

I shakily exhale, placing the book upon the white-wood nightstand and slipping off the edge of the mattress. My feet meet with the soft carpet, the sensation of the fluffy material subdued due to the ankle length socks on my feet. Managing to push myself off the bed through all my frenzied thoughts, I timidly saunter towards the door whilst trying to calm my mind and breaths.

Another knock sounds through the room, slightly higher in volume and strength this time. I flinch from the abruptness, clenching the hem of my knitted sweater with my left hand and scrunch the fabric into my grasp, I enclose my other hand around the metal doorknob. 

Taking another shaky breath, I twist the handle and pull back the door halfway, the shocking sight of Draco impatiently standing there. 

"I need to talk to you." Draco says bluntly, then steps into the room and his shoulder brushes across mine as his walked past me. 

"Uh—" I turn around, locking eyes with his silver ones and I gulp. Closing the door, still panicking and now stressed over Draco's presence, I lean my back against the door after I shut it. "I— I don't want— to talk to you."

"What's wrong with you?" His eyebrows furrow, staring intensely as though I was mental or something.

"I— what?" I stammer, my voice quivering with each letter.

"Are you scared of me?" Draco stiffly questions, clearly noticing my shallow, quavery breaths and inability to speak normally. 

I stare blankly, unsure of what to reply with.

He scoffs, "Fucking hell, Winters, why are you panicking?"

"N— I..I don't— know." My heart feels like it's attempting to break out of my chest, thumping powerfully against the bones protecting it and as though millions of beats were happening every second. The intensity was enhanced to an extreme level due to my swamped mind, unable to convince myself I was fine.

All I can think about is mother.

From the five days of being with Vesper and never leaving her side, my thoughts on mother had been completely neglected and I didn't think of her once. Vesper distracted me, too well, I successfully managed to forget about what I witnessed.

I ran away from my feelings towards it.

And now it seems to have caught up with me.

Draco has never looked so confused in his life. His eyebrows were still knitted together, silver gaze purposely piercing into mine and slightly narrowed as he attempts to comprehend what was wrong with me.

An unstable, quavering exhale escapes my lungs whilst my mind bursts with worries and immense concerns in relations to myself.

"I— I want you to leave." I murmur, just loud enough so he could hear me.

"No," Draco replies bluntly, taking a step towards me, however I retaliate by sliding left against wall and try to escape him. "Jesus Christ."

"Don't! St—stay there." I squeeze my fists tightly, feeling my nails break the skin above the healing scabs from five days ago.

Draco immediately stops, his face dropping with all tension when he realises how serious I am. With narrowly two metres between us, he awkwardly stares at me and shoves his hands into his pockets.

"I— What did I do?" His expression tenses again, but only slightly; eyebrows furrowed, jaw clenched.

Suddenly, an heavy wave of rage crashes upon me from his stupid question.

I scoff in disbelief, "Are you serious? You— you fucking hurt me! I... I have no idea what I did to deserve that, you were so— so mean." My eyes rivet onto his own, causing me to stumble upon a glint of guilt behind the cold stare. "I— thought we going to try, but then you hu—hurt me."

Draco remains completely silent, watching me intently.

Then, a train of emotions hurtled into me with sheer power.

"Then— then— m-mother died! Only fucking hours after father hurt me! I— I saw... I saw he-her." My bottled emotions from the five days of forcefully pushing them aside had truly caught up to me. "She— was the only one who helped me when Ves—Vesper wasn't home— and... and now she is de—dead."

"Ra—"

"Shut up! I— oh my god, I am so sca—scared! I'm— going.. going to end up fuck—fucking dead." I falter, panicking even more than before after grasping the reality of my situation. "He— he's going to kill— kill me!" Slapping my hand over my mouth, a sob escaping my throat during my frantic words.

Hot, tingling tears densely form in my waterline and barely seconds later they flow down my cheeks. The cool air brushes across my face, drying the tears that were relentlessly flooding my ivory cheeks.

I quickly dart my gaze away from Draco's, fixating them to the oak floor beneath my feet and embarrassingly allow my tears to stream down my face, along with my quiet sobs to fill the room.

"Dr—Draco, my— my.. mot— she i-is go—gone." I gasp for air, removing the hand that was clasped over my mouth and dropping it aimlessly to my side.

Light footsteps sound throughout the room, and out of fear I shakily keep my back in contact with the wall and slide further across to the left. Hitting the corner, I turn so my shoulders are pressed against each wall.

When I notice the steps didn't stop, I nervously glance up with hot tears still flooding my blushed cheeks, the glossy gaze of mine landing on Draco's worried stare.

"I— she's gone." I whimper, my bottom lip quivering uncontrollably.

Draco takes a wary step forward, "Calm—"

"Stop! Don't— don't, please." I interrupt him sharply, however he doesn't listen and hesitantly steps two more, I stare in fear as he's now really close to me.

"Draco! I — I can't— no." I firmly press my body against the walls, desperately trying to breathe. 

He lifts his out of the pocket, only to rake his fingers through his hair, however I drastically flinch and whimper loudly. 

My legs turn into jelly, and before I know it, I collapse to the floor.

"Please— don't hurt me." I pull one leg up to my chest, wrapping my arms around it and preparing myself to endure agony shot through my already bruised figure.

"I.."

I forcefully dig my nails into the skin of my leg, "I'm so—sorry." 

⋆⋆


	57. mature

『 Draco's POV 』

Anxiously following behind my mother into the spare bedroom, she immediately rushes towards Raven the second we step inside.

I partially close the door, leaving it barely ajar before promptly making my way to the bed, sitting with concern on the left corner.

All I wanted to do was help Raven, but she looked so terrified and I didn't want to scare her any more than I unintentionally did.

She thought I was going to hit her? I would never do that, she knows that.

Mother kneels adjacent to Raven, who's in the same position from when I left to find my mother. One leg was flat against the floor in front of her, the other hugged tightly to her chest and forehead resting on her knee. Her face wasn't very visible, however the tears flooding her cheeks were reflecting in the light and trailing down to her chin.

I feel so— bad.

This is my fault, if I didn't impulsively decide on trying to explain what happened two weeks ago, then this wouldn't of happened.

"Raven," My mother's kind voice sounds throughout the silent room, her tones soft and hushed, along with filled with concern. Her hand carefully contacts with Raven's shoulder, causing her to abruptly flinch, mother instantly retracts her hand. 

She glances over her shoulder to meet my eyes, "Quickly fetch Vesper, I think she's panicking again."

Without a second thought, I hastily stand up and exit the room. I walk towards the door that's directly across the hallway, then knock numerous times against the wood.

The door opens a few seconds later, Vesper's eyebrows knitting in confusion. "Yes?" Vesper asks, evidently still pissed off with me.

"Uh— Raven.. she's— I don't know, help." I stammer on my words, uncertain on how to tell her what was happening.

"What happened?!" She brushes her fingers through her hair, straightening the dress she wore before barging past me. 

"She just— freaked out." 

Vesper rolls her eyes, "That doesn't happen."

『 Raven's POV 』

No matter how hard I tried, the tears were endlessly streaming from my sensitive eyes and swamping my pink flushed cheeks with mascara and warm tears.

Narcissa's worriedly kneeling beside me, cautious of trying to comfort me with her touch since I flinched every single time. Her voice was all gentle and soothing tones, however I couldn't bring myself to calm down at all. 

My powerful thoughts were painfully drowning me, not giving me time to breathe nor escape them. They just conquered my efforts each time, consuming me more.

I can't understand why I'm unable to control it, usually I could.

But, I suppose days of hiding my emotions was a silly thing to do. 

Not too long ago, Narcissa told Draco to fetch Vesper, and that should've relieved me— but it didn't.

I thought Draco was going to hit me, he probably feels horrible now. Which is another worrying thought that had joined with the rest.

My entire body is shivering uncontrollably, but not from feeling cold, instead its induced by fear.

In my peripheral vision, I notice Narcissa thoughtfully stand up and walk away after three others rush in. A few indistinguishable whispers are shared before she exits the room, leaving me with the three who had just came in.

My breaths were rapidly growing shallow again, the beats of my heart increasing to a lightning speed pace and thumping against my aching chest.

Silent tears are quickly joined by hushed sobs, my throat sore and excruciatingly dry. 

I detect someone kneel in the same spot where Narcissa once was, however narrowly closer to my side. Their knee brushes across my bruised shin whilst they budge nearer, familiar hands softly stroke up and down my lower leg.

Almost immediately from the familiar touch alone, I can feel myself relaxing and my muscles finally loosening.

"It's okay." The voice whispers, Vesper's voice to be exact.

I lift my forehead off my knee, peering up to find comfort with Vesper's gentle face, considering it helped me understand that I'm safe and she's here to protect me now. My bottom lip continues to quiver, flickering my eyes across Vesper's features as I eventually begin to grasp control of my horrible thoughts and shakes.

"Shh," Vesper cautiously moves her hands to my own hands, that are latched around my lower leg. She grazes her fingertips along my knuckles, instantly causing me to release my tight grasp on my leg and drop them to my side. "It's okay."

"She— She's gone." I whimper, furrowing my brows in worry.

Vesper stiffens, then visibly gulps. "I..I know, but everything will be okay." Her hands lightly tug at my ankle, then guide my leg from pressed against my chest to lay flat beside my other leg.

I awkwardly peer at the numerous marks of green, purple and reds covering my shins, sighing quietly from the normal sight. "He— He will kill me." I blankly say, keeping my eyes on examining the bruises.

"No, he won't." Vesper replies, her tone added with sternness now.

"I'm scared." I whisper, stray strands of my brown hair annoyingly falling over my face and sticking to my wet cheeks.

Vesper sweetly smiles when I glance up at her, "Me too."

I frown sadly, lifting my arms from aimlessly dropped to my sides and tightly wrapping them around Vesper's waist. She instantly copies my action, placing one hand behind the back of my head and the other upon my mid-back, stroking her thumb soothingly along my scalp.

A few seconds pass, being in Vesper's arms had fully calmed me down. My heartbeat is stable, breaths controlled and tears were no longer drowning my cheeks.

I sniffle, drawing away from Vesper and wiping the sleeve of sweater along my nose.

Vesper stands up, holding her hands out for me to take. Grasping her hands, feeling the warm comfort my much cooler hands, then carefully rise to my feet.

"You okay now?" Vesper asks, releasing her hands from mine and lovingly cupping my face, using her thumbs to wipe away the tears off my cheeks.

I nod, fiddling with the hem of my skirt. 

"Do you want me to stay here tonight? I don't mind." Her fingertips brush away my hair that had stuck to my cheeks.

"No," I shake my head side to side, "I want Draco to stay."

Vesper's face immediately drops before she whips her head to the right, her brown hues piercing into Draco's. I awkwardly glance at Draco, his face clouded with shock and doubt. 

"Um— Are you sure?" She questions dubiously, her brows raised in uncertainty.

"Mhm." I hum in affirmation, a sigh of defeat escaping her.

"Of course, come get me if you need me." Vesper leans forward, planting a kiss upon my forehead before drawing back and smiling prettily.

I nod in agreement, my eyes watching as Vesper turns around and exits the room with Theo behind her, him closing the door as he left. 

My gaze shifts to meet Draco's, his expression plastered with confusion. 

"I— I don't understand?" Draco says perplexed, observing me whilst I walk towards him slowly.

I slightly tilt my head, "Didn't you want to talk to me?"

He gulps, "I did, but then you— that happened."

Standing adjacent to him, the bed to my left, I gaze up and purse my lips with guilt.

"You know I'll never hit you, right?" Draco anxiously queries, his eyes softly staring down on me.

I nod, "I know, I'm sorry for reacting like that— I just haven't been without Vesper since that day, and she made me forget."

"So it wasn't my fault?" He frets, his hands nervously fiddling inside his pants pockets.

"Of course it wasn't your fault, Draco. I was panicking before you came here." I assure, gently placing my hands against his own that were shaking in his pockets.

From my touch, Draco stiffens and fortunately so does his hands.

I smile, taking my hands away and dropping them to my side. "What did you want to talk to me about?" I walk past him, moving to the side of the bed and plopping myself upon the comfortable mattress. 

Draco turns around, sitting himself on the mattress's edge and rests his elbows on his knees. A loud exhale emits from him whilst he sits up straight, tilting his head back towards the ceiling and gently closes his eyes.

With my back leaning against the headboard and legs splayed in front of me, narrowly brushing along Draco's hand that was propped behind him, I twist my lips with worry. 

"Is it bad?" I question, timidly fiddling with my skirts hem.

His face turns to the left, glancing at me in thought. "It's about— that night." Draco informs, my face falling from the mere remembrance of that night.

"Oh."

Draco sighs, "Exactly."

"I— I want to know." I state, his brows furrowing in doubt.

"Really? Ray— I don't know if now is a good time." His silver eyes remain on mine, clouding with uncertainty.

"Yes, please just tell me." I twirl a loose thread from my skirt between my thumb and index, awkwardly shifting my glance to my skirt, but then back up to Draco.

I intently watch as Draco shifts himself further onto the bed, his hand that was propping himself up moves to my leg, however he hesitates and hovers it above my shin. Draco glances upon the few bruises on my shin, then darts his eyes to meet mine again. 

"Can I?" Draco questions, asking for permission to touch my leg.

I plainly nod in approval, Draco halfheartedly smiles and softly places his hand on my lower leg, then caresses up and down in a gentle and slow pace.

Draco takes a deep breath, his eyebrows furrowing. "What I said that night— someone forced me to, they threatened to tell our fathers if I didn't end it with you."

What? 

"I promise that the bullshit I said isn't true, I don't regret anything and it definitely wasn't a fucking mistake." Draco discloses, my eyes widen in shock. "I'm sorry, I never wanted to hurt you."

I frown, "So— you're not dating Layla?"

"No I'm not." He replies sincerely.

"Who threatened you?" I promptly ask, Draco stares blankly in response.

My brows furrow with concern.

"Draco, who threatened you?" Asking more sternly this time, he sighs in defeat.

"Pansy." Draco unexpectedly says the name of someone I'd never suspect.

"Wh—What?" My voice falters, eyes glossing over once again. "I don't believe you." I abruptly sit up, taking my leg from Draco's touch and splaying them to my right. 

Draco sighs, sliding his hand into his left pocket and ferreting out a folded parchment. He leans over, placing it in front of me. 

"What's this?" I hesitate.

"Proof. It's the first time she threatened to expose us." 

Gulping, I take the parchment from above the sheets and into my grasp.

I unfold the letter, immediately noticing Pansy's handwriting the second I open it.

'Draco, 

I suggest keeping away from Raven for now on, she's moved onto a better and safer person; me.

End it with her, do whatever so she forgets about you, or hates you— I don't really care.

Keep in mind that I know about your secret 'relationship' and I will not hesitate to owl both your fathers. 

I hope it doesn't need to come to that, though. 

Best Regards,   
Pansy'

I reread the letter once more, not believing a word I just read.

Skimming over it the third time, I realise it's true. 

Pansy actually did threaten him, and me as well. 

"Oh." I fold the parchment, passing it back to him. 

His eyebrows furrow, "I'm sorry."

"When did she give that to you?" I question, pinching the silky sheets between my fingers to calm my nerves. 

"Seventh of December." Draco instantly says, his gaze on mine with worry and guilt. 

I frown, "Oh."

Draco huffs in annoyance, "See? This is why I didn't want to tell you."

"No, I'm thankful you did."

"Why?" He ponders.

I teasingly smirk, focalising my eyes on his as I slowly crawl towards him. Kneeling on the bed beside him, my knees pressed against his hips and grazing my index finger along his upper arm, feeling the cotton material under my touch, his stormy stare was brewing with lust and intrigue.

"Because now I won't feel guilty about doing things." I draw my bottom lip amidst my teeth, wavering my gaze from his silver eyes and kissable lips.

Draco smirks, "Define 'doing things'."

"Fucking you." I purr, shifting off the bed and standing adjacent to Draco. 

I hook my fingers beneath my cream sweaters hem, hauling it over my head and carelessly dropping the garment to the floor. Draco eyes widen from the sole sight of me not wearing a bra, my breasts on full display.

Intently, I watch as his silver eyes steadily coast up and down my figure, a hint of temptation behind his controlled outward show of emotions. His stare is burning into me, the dominance and curiosity that coincided with his attentive eyes are weakening me. I can feel my heart eagerly thumping against my chest, my breaths declining in stability and growing shallow.

"You need to refrain from leaving weeks between each time we fuck, Draco." I request, unzipping my skirt and allowing the fabric to fall off my hips.

"And why's that, princess?" Draco takes his bottom lip between his teeth, trailing his lustful eyes across my nearly bare figure.

I step forward, situating my hands on his shoulders whilst I move onto his lap, straddling him. "You make me feel good, I want you to do that more than once a week." I slowly buck my hips against him, craving his touch.

His hands shift to my arse, squeezing lightly as he smirks from how needy I was. "Magic word?" Draco trails on, only making me more desperate.

"Please, Draco." I gasp when he roughly drives my hips against his hard erection without warning. 

Draco keeps one hand lightly on my arse, then with his other hand he glides his fingertips along my bare spine in a slow pace. Flickering my gaze down from his lustful eyes towards his lips, craving for them to be on mine, I hastily collide my lips with his. The sensual contact of our lips locked with one another's was exactly how I remembered it, however everything was heightened in a way. 

I had been craving him, deprived of him honestly. It's torture controlling myself around him, he is just so irresistible— it's insane. 

His soft lips but rough pressure were mixing beautifully together, never in my wildest dreams did I picture it feeling like this after weeks of deprivation nor this actually happening ever again. 

Only he can make me feel this way. 

The scent of mint and cologne engulfs my smell, ultimately overpowering me and my actions. Confidence rapidly takes over, causing me to slide my hands downwards from his shoulders to the first button of his white dress shirt. Easily unhooking the top button, I continue to the second and feel Draco smirk against my lips. Eventually unlatching the final button, he quickly shrugs off his shirt and lazily throws it to the floor. 

I wind my arms around the back of his neck, pulling myself closer to him and closing the small gap between us. The sensation of his chest against mine speedily shoots electric waves through my veins, creating a blissful feeling of wetness in my underwear. Draco's hands slowly, but gratifyingly, slide down my small body, drifting in with the curve of my waist and gliding out with the outline of my hips.

Shoving him backwards, teasingly edging my hands along his chest in a nimble yet sensually mellow aspect, I lustfully press my chest firmer against his and deepen the kiss. Just like that, from my delicate touch alone, I feel his quickening heartbeat beneath my subdued caress, leading me to realise my rousing effect on him. Running my hands back up to graze above his shoulders before repeating my steady motion, earning a low groan from him.

His rough grasp on my hips surges, dominating the movement of my hips steadily grinding against his clothed erection, the pressure intensified from his hold.

In a quick motion, Draco flips us over with his hands clinging to my waist, then instantly shifts the position of his hands; the left situates to beside my head, propping himself up, and the right gradually traces along my collarbone with this fingertips. A jolt of shivers rush through my veins, creating goosebumps to shroud my naked, milky skin from head to toe, simply due to the breathe-taking and salacious touch of his magical hands. Draco swiftly pries himself in between my legs with ease, then shoves his hardened bulge against my soaking underwear. 

I softly moan from the sudden contact, my entire body tensing with intensifying anticipation and urgently craving his touch even more, to a point that I would do absolutely anything just to feel him inside me.

Draco's velvety-smooth lips desert mine, he bites my bottom lip by using a gentle force, being mindful of my now swollen lip, and slowly drawing it back whilst our lips unlatched. My breaths were heavy, abruptly hitching as well when Draco dives his lips towards my neck, planting soft kisses below the skin where my jawline starts.

I quietly gasp after he nips at my skin, sucking harshly. "Fuck, Draco." 

"I've missed you." Draco murmurs, his husky voice vibrating against my neck and the sensation effectuates millions of electric jolts throughout my unravelling body.

"Me too." I weakly whisper, feeling Draco smirk upon me from knowing his effect on me. Rough nips, harsh sucking and gentle kisses trail down my neck, no doubt showering my skin with deep bruises and marks.

Whereupon his warm tongue blissfully circles my hard nipple, occasionally leaving my tender nipple to kiss around it, Draco's hand lightly grasps my right breast. Increasing the strength of his hold, the cool rings prickle my warm skin and both temperatures mix amazingly with one another. Draco kisses further along my figure and his other hand, that was once beside my head, leisurely shifts down as well; using both his hands to squeeze my breasts whilst he steadily travels to my lacy, forest green underwear, his pace tortuously slow.

Draco roughly grabs my hips, hauling me closer to the mattress's edge as he kneels on the floor, being perfectly level with my soaking core. I promptly prop myself onto my forearms, intently watching in eagerness just as his middle finger glides along the wet section of my underwear.

"You're so wet, princess." Draco draws his bottom lip amidst his teeth, darting the amused gaze of his upon my desperate eyes.

"Please," I breathe, bucking my hips in a hope to feel absolutely anything. 

"Please, what?" The side of his lips perk up, a smirk emerging.

"Please, Draco." Whimpering, craving his touch, "Please make me feel good."

His hands harshly tug my skimpy green underwear off my hips, then down my legs and dropping the flimsy material to the floor. He brings my legs over his shoulders, warm breath grazes my skin and induces a knot to grow in my stomach. I bite my bottom lip firmly, watching Draco as he smoothly slides his finger along my wet pussy, his eyes intently on mine.

Rough kisses engulf my inner thighs, his hot breath fanning my tender skin and causing me to become even more desperate. Draco winds his left arm around my thigh, placing his hand atop my thigh, firmly squeezing and brushing along my skin as the lust was growing unbearable for him too, the cold rings digging into the skin of my thigh.

"Fuck." I quietly moan whilst his tongue slowly skims up my core, continuing a motion of licking up and down before circling my aching clit. "More— More, Draco."

Draco raises his eyebrows, "Desperate little princess, aren't you?" 

"Ye—Yes." Bringing the soft sheets within my clutch, squeezing tightly as his lips surround my clit and suck harshly. "Oh my god." I loudly moan, throwing my head back and shutting my eyes in pleasure.

"You taste so good." Draco says against my sensitive skin before taking his face away, then glides a finger along my pulsing pussy.

Two fingers abruptly plunge into me, moving at a steady pace. I shakily exhale, lifting my back back up to meet gazes with Draco, his amused stormy hues still focalised on mine. His silver eyes flutter back to my pussy, inching in and, at the most delightful intensity, licking upwards. This feeling of his warm tongue combining with the arctic air yields a sense of faultlessness, a feeling of nothing adverse swept through me; pure perfection, there seems to be no reason to feel wrong about all of this, it's all just correct.

This moment feels right.

Maybe it is right. 

Draco sucks upon my clit again, his strong hand on my thigh securely keeps it in place and squeezes mercilessly, clearly stopping me from squirming. My breaths hitching frequently, I support myself up onto one hand and the other reaches down to Draco, my fingers entangling with his already messy hair. Gripping his hair roughly, a soft moan freely escapes my lips once the pace of his fingers soars with intensity, catching me off guard.

"Yes! Fuck— Draco." I feel my legs beginning to shake, as well as the knot within my stomach increasing briskly with pressure.

His fingers curl ruthlessly, striking a specific spot for the first time ever, the new sensation unexpectedly hurtles me into an euphoric state. 

I furrow my eyebrows due to the swarming pleasure clouding my quivering figure of gratification, his touch reminding me endlessly of how much I missed this. 

It truly had been too long, we both crave one another, so it's a mystery as to why we punish ourselves— but I suppose it leads to situations like this, ones where the feelings are enhanced from the built up thirst for each other's touch. 

And it just feels fucking heavenly.

The pace of his fingers heightens, cold rings hitting upon my warm skin with each intense thrust inside me, it shoots blissful chills throughout my pleasured body.

"I'm— I'm gonna cum." I scream, falling backwards against the bed and rapidly fondle my breasts in my hands, attempting to relieve the storming pressure.

"Cum, princess, cum on my tongue." Draco mutters, immediately sucking on my clit in the most merciless strength and pace. I feel the knot snap sharply, my back arching off the mattress whilst I reach the peak of my desperately needed climax.

My breaths heavy, I twitch as Draco rides me through my climax faultlessly; his digits still pumping inside me in a perfect motion, his lips no longer enclosed around my clit but now placing gentle kisses upon my inner thighs. 

Draco stands up, my legs dropping from his shoulders, then he begins to unbuckle the belt of his pants. Sitting myself up again, I smirk before slipping off the side of the bed, kneeling in front of Draco whilst he removes his belt quickly. Placing my hands upon his, overtaking his actions, I unzip his pants and direct my gaze towards him, looking up innocently.

"Getting confident, are you?" Draco smirks with amusement, watching my hands readily unzip his pants.

"Maybe.. don't you like it?" I frown, pouting childishly.

He rolls his eyes, "Never said I didn't like it, princess."

I innocently smile, hiding back a smirk. 

His pants swiftly descend to the floor, and I eagerly hook my fingers beneath the boxers waistband, hauling them down and watching with wide eyes as his cock springs up against his stomach. Gulping sharply, stupidly forgetting how big he was, I lightly wrap my small hand around the base of his dick and guide the tip to graze across my bottom lip, gazing into his silver hues for the sake of tease. Draco steadily rakes his fingers through my tousled hair, clearing it from my face and loosely holds it into a messy makeshift ponytail with one hand, the other aimlessly drops to his side.

Circling my tongue around the tip, eyeing Draco's head fall back in pleasure and his soft lips narrowly part, I smirk to myself before moving down and licking up his dick slowly. 

"Stop— teasing." Draco staggers on his words, bringing his eyes back to meet mine, the hunger and impatience visible through his glance. 

I obey, promptly enclosing my lips around the tip of his cock and guiding myself further down. Reaching halfway, I use my hand to pump the rest until my mouth got familiarised to dick instead of pussy, which shouldn't take long.

His grasp on my hair starts to feel stronger, the hold tighter than a few seconds ago. "Fu—ck," Draco, yet again, stutters and slowly begins motioning me to take more of his size. "You— are so fucking hot." Internally, I smile delightedly but outwardly, my cheeks are searing with warmth and undoubtedly glowing a faint scarlet tinge.

"I'm gonna fuck that mouth of yours, love." Draco draws his bottom lip amidst his teeth, biting firmly, then without a mere second spared— he forcefully grips my hair by the roots and shoves me further onto his cock in a ruthless manner, I quietly gag, feeling the tip strike the back of my throat.

Draco continues to harshly push my head up and down, my hair roots growing sore from his incredibly strong hold, however I can't say I dislike it— because I simply don't, I love it. 

It's been wayyyy to long. 

I'm petulantly twisted up in this situation with Pansy about my emotions, I can't understand why she did all of that to me. I never imagined Pansy would ever threaten me in my life, nor Draco for that matter. Due to Draco and I plainly hooking up occasionally, would she have seriously caused us eternal damage?— is that why he barely ever fucked me?

Stupid and inconsiderate if you ask me, but it's also confounded me honestly. She risked her relationship with her parents just for me, then she threatens my own life? It doesn't make sense at all. Unarguably, Pansy would know I'd get bothered by this, she is being utterly unmindful— so, the reasons behind this is an absolute mystery.

I thought I liked her, well in all honesty I actually did. Clue word there though, did, there's no way I can forgive Pansy for this. It's way out of line, she could've got Draco and I seriously hurt... maybe even sent to the heavens, but I'd prefer not to think about that. 

Maybe I'll forgive her, nevertheless simply end things afterwards. She made me happy, I suppose. She also made me feel good things, but so does Draco. He was forced to hurt me all because of Pansy. 

Perhaps the motive has to do with her jealousy? I'd prefer it if she communicated with me about it, rather than threatening Draco with our fathers if he didn't leave me or pain me so much into hating him. It really was immature and foolish, yet I don't expect I'm going to be willing to purely pardon her actions any time soon.

Plus, I could never truly despise Draco. For Merlin's sake, I can't tolerate being without his touch, it only made me crave him more.  
So, Pansy is silly for assuming it'd be easy for me to forget about Draco so quickly, because I never could and never will. 

"Fuck." Draco mutters under his breath, still gripping my hair with force. 

I feel his dick distinctly twitching, my eyes watering from the extreme pressure being shoved in and out of my achy mouth. The tears freely fleeing my tingling waterline, they fall down my blushed pink cheeks and Draco amusedly smirks from the image. I gaze up towards Draco with the arguably the weakest expression, moaning quietly on his dick, his intensity hardly halting for even a moment.

Draco lowly groans, "I'm gonna.."His climax releases against the back of my sore throat, white ribbons plastering the walls of my throat and mouth. 

"Swallow." He breaths heavily, looking down on me with the most adoring expression, I instantly swallow and smile at him. His bottom lip between his teeth, Draco loosens his tight grip from my hair and shifts his touch upon my face, pleasely caressing the side of my face.

I steadily stand up, however I quickly get picked up and thrown onto the bed, all within one swift motion.

With my head resting against the soft pillows, I place my hand at the back of Draco's neck and haul his lips upon mine, our lips colliding roughly. Feeling Draco smirk against my lips, I moan when he unexpectedly bites my bottom lip, the sensation whirling electric through my system. His cold hand snakes to my neck, squeezing the sides gently whilst my own hands grasp the edges of the pillows beside my head, desperately holding back my anticipation.

"Please," I whisper into the harsh kiss. "Please fuck me, Draco."

Draco draws back, smirking profoundly, then shifts his hand towards my thighs and shoves them further up, giving him more access. "Tell me if it's too much." Draco softly plants a kiss upon my lips, using his hand to guide his fully erect cock to slide along my dripping pussy.

I nod, humming quietly in agreement.

His tip slowly enters me before completely changing the manner in a split second, thrusting his entire length into my tight core. I scream in pleasure, arching my back from the suddenness and slight twinge of pain, which is bearable of course, and my breaths are drastically shallow.

"You're so— tight— fuck." Draco grunts, slightly moving himself out and fully plunges back inside me.

"Oh my god," I whimper, staring into Draco's eyes whilst he begins to pick up a rhythm, my walls clenched around him and his dick entirely fills my pussy. "S—So big, you're so big." I mix up my words, unable to pronounce proper sentences due to the contact currently destroying my core.

Throwing my head back upon the silk pillows, my eyes rolling back as well as stars begin clouding my vision, Draco's hand around my neck surges in pressure and he chokes me just how I like it. 

Barely able to breathe. 

It's sensational, my breaths quick and resisted, the feeling is simply sweet agony. 

I bite my bottom lip, compelling away the loud moans and whimpers attempting to escape. "No, I want to hear it all, princess." Draco's thumb draws back my bottom lip, releasing it from amidst my teeth.

Draco rams harder and faster inside my sensitive pussy, not a mere sight of mercy shown at all. Electrified with lust, he forces himself deeper, if that was even possible, and moves his free hand to my waist; pinning my tiny, trembling body to the plush mattress. Breathing heavily, I gaze into his eyes again, noticing how much darker they appeared when he fucked me— but it was definitely hot, intimidating though.

"Don—Don't ever leave me again, Draco." I beg amidst soft moans, my eyebrows furrowing in pleasure. 

Draco grunts lightly, "I wasn't planning too."

I whimper, bottom lip quivering due to the soaring sensations. "Promise me, please."

"I promise, princess." Draco tilts down and softly kisses my lips, his hand moves around from my waist to my back, squeezed between the sheets and my back. However, he flips us over in a brisk motion and I gasp from the abruptness, the position now being me on top.

This position always made me feel absolutely everything. For some reason, my core was tighter in this position, but I'm obviously not complaining. Either way, whatever position Draco and I were in, he still completely filled my pussy up with his cock. 

Placing my hands on his chest, I firmly dig my nails into his skin in hopes to endure the blissful, but also overwhelming, pleasure. Draco grasps my hips, mercilessly lowering me to take his entire cock in my core. 

"Oh— Fuck!" I scream with tears tingling my waterline again, throwing my head back when his dick strikes my g-spot beautifully. An intense sensation builds within my stomach, a knot tightening. 

Oh, how I've missed this. Yes, Pansy made me cum almost every time we fucked— but, Draco just brought on my orgasms so differently to Pansy. They're more intense, crammed with emotion almost. Each time he makes me cum, I crave it more and more, causing him to become irresistible by the day.

Draco keeps one hand on my hip, then hastily moves the other to my clit and rubs circles over the tender skin ruthlessly.

"You— You feel so good." I cry, the knot in my abdomen growing tighter and increasing with pressure rapidly. Situating my hands on his shoulders, squeezing roughly, I lower myself down so that my breasts are firmly pressed against his chest, but I still continue moving upon his cock in a quick pace.

Furrowing my eyebrows when I notice Draco's mischievous smirk, however I immediately comprehend why after he begins thrusting his hips up, plunges his whole dick deeper inside my clenching walls and strikes all the right spots effortlessly each time.

"Shit— Ray." Draco lowly murmurs, his pace unsparing. "Tell me your mine."

I quietly whimper, "I'm— I'm yours, Draco— no..no one else's."

"Good girl."

Tilting my head down, smashing my lips against his with lustful energy. I feel intense tingles and butterflies in my stomach, the brimming climax of mine nearing swiftly. Draco slides his tongue against my lower lip then roughly bites it, I instantly open my mouth and allow him to deepen the kiss, our tongues dance across each other and fight for dominance.

I bring one hand to the side of his neck, my thumb lingering above his pulse point and feel the rapid beat beneath my touch. "Draco, I'm going to— to cum." I loudly moan, digging my nails into the skin of his shoulder. 

Our lips were unlatched, just hovering above one another and our hot breaths intertwine. 

"Me— too." Draco tenses underneath me, his hand gripping my hips, along with the other pinned between our chests and still rubbing circles over my clit. 

His thrusts intensify, then the knot within me completely snaps, causing delirious, loud and filthy moans to flee my mouth. My entire figure shakes, whimpers escaping whilst Draco continues his callous pace. 

"Fuck." Draco breathes, his warm cum hitting my walls. He throws his head back, and my head drops into the crook of his neck, both our breaths heavy.

I twitch as I take myself off of him, then crawl beside him and flop onto my stomach, collecting my breaths and composure from my intense high. Draco hauls his boxers properly on his hips and shifts beside me, suddenly cold fingers glide along my spine in a relaxing manner. I smile, placing the right side of my face against the pillow and watch whilst Draco intently glides his fingers upon my skin.

"Did you mean it?" I ask cautiously, my body tenses when he glances at me. 

Draco's eyebrows furrow, "Yes."

"What— what do we do now?" Nervously pondering, already overthinking the whole situation. 

"I don't know." He sighs, turning over and laying on his back. 

I frown, shuffling myself closer to Draco and snuggle myself into his side.

"What if I— never mind." I twist my lips to the side, scrapping my thoughtless idea.

"Just— fuck, I don't know. It's difficult." Draco huffs, sitting on the side of the bed before standing up and leaving me. 

Pouting, I watch as he begins changing.

"Where are you going?" I question, shuffling to sit up and sprawling my legs to the left. 

"To my room?" He furrows his brows as though my question was stupid. 

I warily gulp, "Can— Can I come?"

Draco chuckles lightly, "If you can walk." He lazily hooks just two of his shirts buttons, clearly not caring about the messy appearance. 

"That's not fair." I sulk, my gaze on his with plea. He steps towards the beds edge, picking up my clothes then ushers me over with his hand. 

"Come on then." Draco rolls his eyes, I happily beam and crawl to the side of the bed. He passes me my clothes, which I quickly put on. 

Draco effortlessly picks me up, an arm under my legs and behind my back. 

"Will anyone see?" I query with worry, resting my head against his shoulder. 

"Who cares?" He shrugs, unexpectedly placing a kiss upon my forehead. 

⋆⋆ ⋆⋆ ⋆⋆


	58. mature

Nuzzling my face against a very silky and mellow surface, the material feels impeccably cool once I awaken and sense it sweep along my chilled skin, a sensational dreamy feeling wholly shrouds me. Cool sheets satisfactorily cover my body, sheltering me from the ferocious thaw of the room, including a thick and heavy, woolly blanket on top of the duvet. 

A snuggly, soothing pillow supports my head flawlessly, and my face is squished within the plush pillow artlessly owing to the fact of how cushioned it is. Strong, familiar scents engulf my nostrils, the smells intensified due to presently awakening; a linger of mint and subtle citrus, also accompanied with a strong cologne— a composition of both raw and noble.

The cologne is overtopped by a blizzard of bergamot and pepper scents, then aftereffects arises together spirited by sparks of sugary, bedewed citruses, yet both zingy and smooth aspect are powerfully prompted through freshly laundered linen fabrics swaying emphatically whilst within the spring breeze— combined with the present scent of actual clean sheets, the smell intensifies. 

Mint, specifically peppermint, was mixing faultlessly with the numerous intense smells, however it was more subtle compared to the fresh linen sheets and citrus. Still, it has a powerful to the senses aspect to it— a minty-fresh that soothes you and with a small whiff, it brings a cool sensation up your nostrils. Camphoraceous and a distinctive fragrance all-together.

As my receptors and full consciousness promptly come crawling back after sleeping, I rotate onto my back laboriously, lightly massaging my eyes to liven and awaken me significantly faster. Sighing quietly, I take a gander to my right and a shy smile instantaneously perks upon my lips after I recognise Draco gazing endearingly at me, a prominent smirk stamped on his lips.

Laying on his back, Draco had an elbow propped upon the plush pillow with his veiny hand resting against his head, the ball of his palm across his temple, upholding himself and securing his curious stare on mine. His icy blond hair is ruffled, not gelled down or combed to perfection, plainly poles apart from its typical tidy state, except I somewhat like it better.. actually I really like it.

"Hi," I tiredly yawn, lifting my legs up so that my knees are in the air and feet flat against the springy mattress.

"Morning." Draco replies, his voice incredibly husky, and I already find myself holding back from crashing my lips on his.

I sigh in annoyance, remembering I have to return home today. "I don't want to go home." Facing towards the ceiling, closing my eyes to gather my composure, the thought of being home terrorising me.

"No you're not," Draco irritatingly scoffs, shuffling down the bed to be eye level with me. "I told mum that you're staying, she thinks it's a good idea too."

Huffing, I face Draco again. "I— What about your father?" 

Draco rolls his eyes, carefully wrapping his ringed hands around my slightly bruised waist and hoisting me onto his lap, my core faultlessly above his own and no need to readjust the position at all. 

"He won't be here for a week," He informs, his icy hands slowly stroking along my thighs, "Even if he was here, I'm not letting you go home."

Merlin, why does he look so fucking hot in the morning? His shirt was void, giving me full sight of his toned porcelain chest, and his complexion seems to have more of a glow to it— not a blushed pink, more like a refreshed radiant. However, one aspect is blushed, and that's his tempting lips. They're a perfect shade of light pink, plus blood-flow has caused them to grow slightly fuller, the temptation that they already possessed is now doubled. 

"I can't stay here forever." I giggle, attempting to make light out of this dull conversation topic. Lowering myself down, I comfortably rest my head's left side upon Draco's shoulder, watching aimlessly as his Adams apple moved when he snickered. 

"Princess, I promised I wouldn't leave you." Draco refreshes my memory, however the promise is still very clear in my mind. 

I trace my index's fingertip along his collarbone, "I know, but it'll get suspicious— or something."

"Stop overthinking," He lowly chuckles, "It's only seven in the morning."

"It's hard not to," I deeply sigh, drawing multiple invisible circles and random shapes across the pale skin below his collarbone. "I stress too much."

Draco snickers, "I know."   
His hands travel from my thighs upwards, relaxedly situating on my hips and unpredictably begins to fidget with my underwear. "But, I can help with that." I sense the cockiness radiating off of him. 

I smirk, lifting myself up and position my forearms across his chest, gazing at him with intrigue. "Can you now?"

"Yes, I can." Draco leans up briefly, immediately colliding his lips onto mine, then with our lips securely locked, he slowly drops his head back against the very verge of the pillow. 

His hands easily slide beneath my underwear, slackly reposing on my hips and occasionally squeezes. Plonking my hands hastily upon his shoulder and side of his neck, feeling myself growing eager by the second.

"And— How...will you.. do that?" I difficulty murmur against his lips, my grip on his shoulder surging whilst I urgently compel myself back.

Draco smirks into the kiss, "Sit on... my face." 

Straight away, my ivory cheeks were drastically soaring in warm and, without the need for a doubt, a pink hue glows, the white skin now infused with a soft pink blush. Draco immediately notices my shock after hearing those words, the amused smirk, that's uncontrollable and pressed across my lips, was giving it away honestly.

"I— I.." I attempt to speak, but his lips on mine and the surprise from his words had caused it to be rather impossible.

One of Draco's hands shifts from my hips, moving towards the back of my neck, where he draws me away, staring confusedly. "Do you want to?" Draco questions, uncertain if I wanted too. 

I nod, "Yes. I just haven't... done that before." 

"That's okay, just trust me." Then, Draco placing his hands on my thighs and urges me to move. 

Willingly, relatively excited to try something new, I firmly bite my lip, shuffling myself forward and positioning my legs either side of his head. Draco seems to be overflowing with desperation to do this, he also appears cautious due to my hesitant response to his order— but, truthfully, I couldn't give it too much mind. I know he just wants me to be comfortable. 

I hook my fingers around my shirt, which Draco had leant to me last night, then swiftly remove the shirt and drop it to the floor carelessly. 

I feel his hot breath against my tender skin, the sensation only heightens as he steadily drags my underwear to the side. Still biting my lip to conceal my thirst, I release my bottom lip when I sharply gasp, feeling Draco's tongue glide flatly along my slit. But my gasp soon turns to a quiet whimper, invoked from the sudden contact.

Draco's hands grasp my hips, securely holding me in that position, making it implausible for me to squirm or jolt away. His tongue continues licking up and down my dripping core, the silver gaze of his studiously on mine.

Biting my bottom lip again, however Draco instantly darts his hand towards my mouth and drags my bottom lip down. "Don't." Draco dominantly growls, placing his hand harshly back on my hip.

I grip the wooden headboard, a shaky moan fleeing my mouth as his tongue circles my clit. Throwing my head back, facing the ceiling, I lightly buck my hips with pleasure coursing through my body. His hands reside on my hips, drastically intensifying his pressure when he recognises that I'm starting to crumble from my yearning for his strong hold.

A loose moan defeats me when Draco thoroughly fixates on my clit, softly flicking and roughly sucking his tongue along the sensitive skin in such a jaw dropping way; the mix of calm and harsh sensations filled me absolutely in pleasure. His touch is sufficient to start having my legs trembling with gratification, plus induce my breathing grow weaker and more shallow. 

The headboard isn't restraining the intense pleasure back at all, so, With one hand, I grasp onto my boob, massaging it under an unthinking and relentless pressure; desperately needing utterly anything to hold as a frantic means of coping through the skyrocketing sensation, the feeling similar to being high on ecstasy. My other small hand locks around the forearm of Draco, where it was still firmly assaulting my hips, creating bruises and mostly securing me down against him. I vastly bury my short nails into his skin, gritting my teeth. 

"Oh my god." I whimper, grinding my hips quicker than before. 

My pink lips are parted, tenuous exhalations burned through my dry, sore oesophagus with each and every separate breath. I conclusively can't even bother to normalise them, there really is no purpose, they would grow back to unsteadiness immediately after calming my breaths. 

Abruptly, his tongue plunges into my tight, clenched walls— ultimately leading my weakened figure to briefly convulse and I sharply gasp, my throat stinging more due to my harsh sound. And yet again, I bite fervently on my reddened bottom lip, desperately trying to hold myself to back from screaming, although I realise this would shortly be ineffective. The stimulation is definitely electrifying, my euphoric climax at an enhanced rate.

"Fuck—" I start moaning noisily, preparing myself towards my orgasm to spontaneously combust rapidly. His tongue travels back to my clit after only a few minutes of digging into my walls. The entirety body is shaking uncontrollably from all of the sensual exposure upon me. "Yes, fuck, right there."

I promptly comprehend that Draco has definitely noticed my edging climax, presumably due to various reasons, those being; my nails scratching deeply into his forearm and also how forcefully I'm biting my lip— obvious, and prominently displayed, that I'm just about to hit my orgasm's peak.

"I'm cum—cumming!" Spite of the increasing climax's assault taking a significant burden on my capacity to think and ability to speak, I struggle to articulate my words, but I fortunately managed it.

While he eats me out, Draco winds up adding further force towards his already rough motion, his cold rings unquestionably scattering my ivory skin with small bruises of reds or purples, and perhaps create little punctures as well. I peer down at Draco, my crystal eyes glossing with tears induced by pleasure, a prominent smirk on his lips whilst he ate me out fervently. 

"Shit... Draco—!" I scream vigorously, the limitation around my voice's volume was, indeed, guaranteed to fail me. 

I immediately throw my head back sharply, my hips cease with the bucking movement, and as my climax intensely pulses throughout my figure, I shook with the release of my orgasm. 

"You are something else, princess." Draco breathes against my sensitive pussy, my body jolting whilst he licks me clean.

I crawl backwards and straddle his lap once again, smiling sweetly with fulfilment. I gaze at Draco admiringly, twinkles of longing and radiance of perfect adoration reflecting across my sapphire eyes.

"Do you want—" I begin to ask, but Draco quickly detected what I was going to say— and interrupted me. 

"Not now," Draco's hands softly stroke up and down my thighs, "This was about you, remember?"

I roll my eyes, subtly smiling. "But, don't you think it's unfair?"

Draco snickers, "It's not unfair, I'll fuck you tonight, will that make up for you thinking it's unfair?" He raises his eyebrows, smirking noticeably. His crude language making me slightly grin; for reasons unknown, annoyingly.

"Yes, it will." I move off Draco, rolling into my back beside him and staring mindlessly at the ceiling, tugging over my underwear to position correctly. 

Suddenly, a loud knock tears Draco and I from our silence. 

"Use a fucking silencing spell, you horny fucking bastards." The booming voice of Theo is heard behind the door. 

I groan in embarrassment, rubbing the balls of my palms lightly across my eyes. 

Theo's footsteps descend into nothingness, a low chuckle escaping Draco. 

"It's not funny." I huff, sitting up and glaring irritatingly at him. 

"It is." Draco shrugs plainly. My eyes watch as he rose off the bed, ambling towards his bathroom. 

"Where are you going?" I ask, timid as he wasn't by my side any more. 

Draco briefly turns around after he reaches the already open bathroom door, "Shower— I'll be quick."

"Okay." I nod, flickering my eyes to my lap and hearing the door close.

*

2nd of January,   
five days later

Time marches by, quicker than I personally would have preferred. Through these few days, hours of the days had disappeared speedily and the earthed appeared to be spinning faster, the rapidity of time had left me feeling uncomfortable in a sense. 

I didn't entirely want to return back to Hogwarts, mostly due to the two irritating female's there. However, being at Hogwarts is a lot better than home, because I can't live at Draco's for the rest of my life— it seems unfair, not to mention how impossible it'd be, seeing as his father despised me as much as my own did.

If we don't include those carnal activities with Draco, the few days remained pleasant, but we were also starved from each other's touch, plus I told Draco that I didn't want to fuck once every month, so i'm really receiving what I begged for. It was unnerving to reside in a household, in which there was no negative tension, since I have rarely grown conditioned to safe home environments. 

Presently, I'm on the Hogwarts express, sitting beside Angel and Draco, being between the two.

Vesper is already stoned, which isn't wholly surprising, and chatting with Theo about an absurd topic— I hadn't been listening, it seems that my thigh touching Draco's had fully caught my concentration, and blocked every other distraction out.

I'm nervous for the second, and final, term of sixth year. I have no clue on what to expect. Draco and I have hardly spoke about us, or whatever we were, but I needed to understand it all. 

It's just confusing. 

Obviously, we'll have to remain quiet and keep ourselves on a down-low, considering Astoria had tendencies to owl her father and my own. So, we don't need students finding out about us, and being silent about it isn't the end of the world— in some ways, it's comforting, knowing no attention or gossip was towards Draco and I. 

Either way, I want to know what I am to Draco, even if it's nothing more than a mere friend. 

—————


End file.
